From The Salt Lake Tribune :

The Salt Lake Tribune first reported Monday that Whittingham suffered a cut lip during an altercation on the field after the game. The photos, by a photographer with US Presswire, show an unidentified BYU fan latching on to Whittingham as he is being restrained by other fans. A second photo shows Whittingham and her daughter backpedaling from the altercation.

BYU police reported two different complaints were filed involving on-field scuffles in or near the area Jamie Whittingham and her daughter were following the game.

Idiot fan violence is a noble Holy War tradition, dating at least as far back as 1896, when police were called in to break up a brawl. It was one reason BYU dropped its football program from 1898 until 1922. "A burning cauldron of rivalry loathing," is how the Tribune's Gordon Monson puts it. Still, this latest outbreak has left Monson so shaken that he's throwing around Star Wars dialogue:

It's more likely, sadly, that it will go the other way, and Hall's words about hate will generate more hate. When I sat directly in front of him and heard them come out of his mouth, it reminded me of the quote spoken by that great philosopher Yoda.

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

So, in the most homogeneous state in the Union, one sect of impossibly blond people has managed to find a reason to irrationally hate another sect of impossibly blond people. Awesome. Somewhere, Joseph Smith is stuffing his head in his hat again.

MWC reprimands Hall; photos show altercation [Salt Lake Tribune]
Monson: There's too much hate in BYU-Utah rivalry [Salt Lake Tribune]

* * * * *

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky's here tonight.

Use this as your open thread, and be grateful that something of note is happening in the sports world that does not involve Tiger Woods or Grady Sizemore's strategically placed cup of Oolong.

Saints, Patriots trade praise before swapping hits [CBSSports.com]

* * * * *

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin.

Let's not forget that Lawrence Frank holds the records for most wins to start a coaching tenure. And let's not forget that New Jersey shipped out the last remaining member of their Big Three at the start of this season. But someone has to take the fall for making East Rutherford the least attractive destination for LeBron, despite their piles of available cash.

I don't know about you, but I think the next two games for the Nets are just about the most fascinating matchups in this young season. The Lakers and Mavericks, with a combined eight losses between them, are all that stand between NJ and history. Assistant Tom Barrise will be on the bench for tonight's game against the defending champs, and then they'll have a cross-country flight and three long days to contemplate Dallas coming to town.

A losing streak is so much more identifiable with than an undefeated streak. We were awed by Tom Brady, and are amazed by Peyton Manning and Drew Brees, because they're light years beyond us. First, to play at a professional level, and second, to never lose? That's unfathomable. But to go down day after day, week after week is a universal feeling.

Whether it be a cold streak with women, or a terrible run in fantasy football, or even a general sense that life has never stopped shitting on us, we all know how the Nets feel. They'll try their hardest tonight, and they may still lose. Because sometimes that's what happens. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you just can't win.

•••••

Thanks for joining me today for Deadspin: Canada. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled Tiger Beat tomorrow.

Well folks, that about wraps it up for me today. Thanks for stopping by.

And of course, thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky takes the reins tomorrow to guide you through all of the NFL action. So y'all come back now, ya hear?

I'm fairly confident you don't need me to tell you this, but there is still one whole evening and an entire day left of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Please do your best to make the most of it. Or don't. It's up to you. I'm easy like Sunday morning, man.

Best ESPN College GameDay Signs (11/28/09) [That Fan]

If you haven't seen it already, here is the Denver coach reminding his players last night that "all we're trying to do is win the motherfucking game." Guess he forgot to tell them that during their recent four-game losing streak. Anyway, it's all good. The announcers apologized immediately and today the Network offered up a hilarious apology, where an executive producer admitted that his team made a "terrible mistake," while simultaneously marveling at how awesome their microphones are. You can hear everything! You should definitely call your cable operator and subscribe today!

Also, Denver won the motherfucking game so keep up the smack talk, Josh. Swearing works, kids!

Josh McDaniels Just Wants to Win a Motherf–king Game! [The Last Angry Fan]
NFL Network: We Made 'Terrible Mistake' [Fanhouse]

* * * * *

Ok, that's enough for today. Go dig some leftovers out of the fridge and enjoy whatever college football and/or basketball you can find on TV tonight. Weed Against Barry will keep you company as usual this weekend.

We're thankful for your continued support of Holiday Deadspin. If you can find a video with a greater contrast between its peppy upbeat music and awkwardly depressing visuals, then post it below.

Moe_Mahogany is incensed:

Man Fuc That Blaisain MF golf aint even a sport..cant wait to rob that nicca

PhatKatBurglar tries to reason with him:

Tiger don't phuck up man, you got a nice little pinktoe at home.

HotSauce commends his jump-off choice:

The jump-off ain't that bad. I guess he didn't want cheat down like that dude from ESPN. Either go same level, or cheat up. Oh, yeah, Tiger doesn't claim his black side because he gets his golf skills from his Asian side. If this was basketball, then it would be different. LoL!...that should start some shyt!

Bluepeas offers an alternate theory:

His wife probably can't cook..or use Hamburger Helper, seriously. The way to any black man's heart is thru his stomach. My kid's paternal granny taught me that. When I was young & didn't cook yet, I wouldn't trust a man worth a shyt. But now that I cook about 5,6 cultures of all different foods & bake my butt off...I can't get rid of'em for nothing! I'm juggling 3 cats & don't have sex w/ none of'em

And then YoungYacht keeps everybody in check:

We dont know if this is true, he looks to square and business-focused to trip up like this. But you never can tell.

If it is true Tiger aint trying to smash nothing darker than a white paper bag.

*********

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a glorious holiday. Be sure to stop by tomorrow for what is now an annual Deadspin Thanksgiving tradition: the Thanksgivingaroo. Or whatever Drew calls it. We'll be back for a little while on Friday.

Be safe out there tonight. Go be like a family.

By the looks of these photos, most of these fine upstanding individuals seem to be conducting themselves just like most other sots would during a tailgate.

If you're featured in this photo gallery, please do not fucking email me to complain about how you will get fired from your job that pays you way too much money. Your names aren't listed. Let's keep it that way. If it upsets you that much, try to convince your friends not to post all of your shenanigans on Facebook. Or, you know, don't get arrested for public urination.

In fact, be more like this guy:

Who's that kid, I need to send him a congratulatory email.

Same thing happened to me in 1987 at Yale Bowl in New Haven. Couldn't get out of the Bowl to piss, so went to the back and pissed on the press box. Perp walked, paddy wagoned, spent the game sitting on a concrete floor in a pile of cigarette ash in New Haven lockup. A lot warmer than the subzero bleachers, I have to say.

I think New Haven PD loves "The Game", they get to bust Yalie f*@ks and — in a nice two-fer — little Harvard f@#ks while they're at it. Fish in a barrel

Full report on Saturday's game coming tomorrow.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry's here soon.

(Photo: DPShow)

This person was strung-up for public urination, which at a port-o-potty deprived event like this, is the equivalent of getting busted for weed at the High Times Christmas party. Luckily, this fine upstanding individual was only given a citation that will surely be framed and placed over his toilet for the rest of his life.

****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. I'm off to hit golf balls with Jim Furyk.

Use this space to #duan, #MNF, or #hashtagsymbols.

It's tough to deny MLS has made strides in recent years. Fanbases in LA, Seattle, Philly, Chicago and Toronto are legitimately passionate for soccer, and actually back their passion up with their wallets. The league is expanding regularly, and hasn't abandoned a city since 2005 (and then promptly gave San Jose a replacement franchise). Tonight's MLS Cup is on primetime on ESPN, in soccer-mad Seattle, and features two of the biggest stars in the league in Landon Donovan and David Beckham (in that order

So why won't I be watching?

I do enjoy soccer; I haven't missed a USMNT game in five years. And while the level of play in MLS is second rate compared to domestic leagues in some countries, the fact that they're evenly matched against each other makes the games just as exciting.

The fact is, MLS would have worked before satellite TV. There's enough soccer fans in this country now to support a league, but with Premiership and Serie A and Bundesliga and La Liga and Ligue 1 and a host of South American leagues on television every week, I'm going to watch and follow those before I'm going to get into MLS. Unless I have a vested interest.

I suppose I just haven't been able to get emotionally involved in the league. I don't know the players, the rivalries, or the storylines. My local team has been horrible forever (notwithstanding last year's fluke title game appearance), so their games aren't appointment viewing. I still have yet to go to a game, because it's near impossible to get there without a car (the new stadium opening next year will help).

The league can't control parity, but they can get their players out there so I'm forced to pay attention. Stuff like Chris Seitz slinging fish at Pike Place Market, pictured above. Let their personalities show. Where's MLS's Chad Ochocinco, or Sean Avery? Where's the player who'll make me tune in to see what they'll do next?

So let your freak flag fly, MLS. Bring in the washed up big name players from overseas. Break out the cheerleaders. Encourage over-the-top goal celebrations. Give me something I can sink my teeth into, because competent play just isn't cutting it. Sure it'll piss off the purists, but they've never been numerous enough to keep the game thriving here.

Now if you'll excuse me, Eagles/Bears is coming on soon.

•••••

Thanks for letting me into your modem, as we begin a mercifully abbreviated week. Remember, there's strings attached to every single blogger.

Alright, kids: another Saturday is in the books. Have a great night. Barry Petchesky will be your guide tomorrow. Treat him well.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin.

Because that November is a time which I must put out of my mind...

Oh my God. That video is awkward. I have just realized that Morrissey is much better when he is simply heard, not seen. But who isn't, right? Other than Bobcat Goldthwait, although he's not that pleasant to look at either. Just forget it.

Good night.

(thanks to James for the pic)

He opted for a beardless Klosterman because "beards are difficult in this medium — too inky." So let that genius insight ooze into your lobes, budding napkin artistes.

Enough.

*****

Hopefully, Jay Mariotti's Underground photo will surface this weekend. Tomorrow, I'll be taking the first part of the morning and Grass Against Greenies has the afternoon. Sunday, Barry Poopchesky rides the snake.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. SKEETS! out.

It seems like it was only two years ago (it was two years ago) that Our Captain was seen sunning himself on the beach with a face full of Jessica Biel's squat-enhanced rump. Before that, it was those busty teenage girls. This year, it's Minka Kelly from "Friday Night Lights", sprawled out on a dock in St. Bart's as Our Captain watches the tide roll away, wasting time.

If anything, these photos should make pudgy journos reconsider that sentimental MVP vote again because, you know, fuck that guy.

Gallery at PopSugar

*****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Keep Barry warm tonight.

Whitlock's become the arbiter of pudginess in the last few months (and Becky-getting-on-ing), first having issue with Serena's ballooning weight and now Mangino's girth. Unlike the Williams column, which seemed unnecessarily cruel considering the woman had just won the U.S. Open, Whitlock suggests Mangino's temper is a direct result of his obesity. Whitlock knows this because he's also a hefty-sized individual who's also struggled with weight problems:

Beyond X's and O's, good coaching is a transference of energy. It takes a massive amount of energy to impact 100 boys on a college campus. At his age (53) and weight, Mangino cannot sustain the necessary energy level to positively influence his players. His team is being engulfed by his negative energy, a dark spirit driven by his excess weight.

And Whitlock stays on this track throughout the column, offering that firing Mangino right now would be the "humane thing to do", as if he's an obese old labrador retriever suffering from hip dysplasia. But he recovers nicely:

If he spent two years away from football addressing his weight problem, applied for a job at 270 pounds, he would be a can't-miss BCS candidate. Heck, he would be a terrific choice to coach in the NFL.

So, if Andy Reid weighed 270 pounds throughout most of his coaching career, the Eagles would have won four Super Bowls by now. I love this logic. The Eagles front office should get Coach Reid a Lap-Band to salvage the season.

****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky, 165-pounds of rompin', stompin' dynamite, blogs through the witching hour.

As you're probably well aware, the Red Hawks lost on a buzzer beater by uber-frosh John Wall, even though they led by as many as 18 points early in the game. Some might see that as a moral victory. Others, a terrible debacle. Those two viewpoints collided during the post-game press conference.

"I can't believe you asked that .... Let me see here, Kentucky Wildcats, number-four in the country, I'm hearing four first-round draft choices, and you're asking me how that got away from me? Why don't you ask John why it was so close? I'm not going to answer that question man.

The dressing down continued, but just enjoy it yourself. There's no coach quite like an angry, disrespected coach.

Charlie Coles Can Sometimes Get a Little Touchy [WKYT, via Brooks]

* * * * *

Well, I'm off to the Ranger game. Ovechkin's (hopefully) in town, so the locals might be interested in that. Barry P. is on deck. Enjoy the evening.

Unfortunately for us, Leury Michaelle Moreno (Escobar's ex) doesn't need help tracking him down, so you can put away your deerstalkers and pipes for now. [Sic'd]:

hahahaha I know where Alcides Escobar is well I dont know per say but I know he is playing for cardenales de lara. He doesnt care about his daughter either. He sends he a misery of 700 bucks a months since june 2009 when i got the divorce dismissed in alabama cause he is trying to divorce me in places with child support salary caps. Since then Ive gotten 700 bucks for Gabriela who was born on Dec 11, 2008. BTW we never discussed child support in court. So now Im starting this petition, I figured that there are many more current or ex baseball wives in my position and I cam across Melissa Lima and Marina Valdez and I would love to get in contact with them to see if we can team up and STOP MLB DEAD BEAT DADS through Major League Baseball itself like you see in my petition which I started a day ago.

You can search for Alcides Escobar if you want aswell we havent had any contact since he tricked me into going to TN with my daughter supposedly to work things out.... to serve me with divorce papers. Id love to see how busy he is that he has never had timeto call his daughter since she was born.

Moreno spoke to Spanish Fanhouse (not the actual name) about her troubling situation with Escobar and looks to generate more publicity for her no-more-deadbeat-ballplayers cause. Oh, and she'd really appreciate it if people gave him a hard time for neglecting his daughter. [Sic'd]:

thank you so much and please do search for Alcides Escobar put him to shame for being a Dead Beat DAd show the world how busy he is that he doesnt have time to spare a second to call his daughter. Thanks so much for the contact and please do help me by publishing my story along with my petition I would really appreciate it. This honestly needs to stop because the victims here are innocent children.

Yes, if anything, this latest incarnation of Deadspin should be remembered for its child welfare component. Or its recklessness and shameful disregard for the truth. Either one, really.

******

Thank you for your continued support of Jezespin. I've been nudged to remind you that there's a #tips and a #duan which you should visit at your leisure. #Tips is for scurrilous, unfounded rumors or other things of note you feel we've neglected about "sports" that you can post to at anytime and you won't suffer the indignity of me ignoring our email. Also #duan! is always open for you to talk about your personal problems or make friends with like-minded individuals who you think you'd enjoy meeting for a beer one day until you find out they're actually not that attractive or interesting in person.

Enjoy Brady Quinn's comeback tonight. Fight on, fighters of fight.

Among the $385 million dollars in Indiana's unclaimed property fund is a benefits payment for Bird, totaling all of $80. But he's not the only sports figure.

Reggie Miller has $1,073 waiting for him. Dwight Freeney has $526 with his name on it. The municipal corporation that runs Indianapolis's stadiums is owed $1,374, which I'm sure will make up for the $20 million annual hit it takes on Lucas Oil Stadium, thanks to the sweetheart deal they gave the Colts.

Update: Reader Christopher, a long-lost Hardy Boy, finds that Charlie Weis is owed a cool 40 bucks by Terminex. Still got those termites, eh Charlie?

Update No. 2: Urban Meyer, for some reason, is owed $60 by General Electric. And Lou Holtz is owed nearly $30,000, including unclaimed wages from Universal Studios.

Bird, Mellencamp Among Well-Known Hoosiers With Unclaimed Cash [AP]

•••••

And that's all 'til tomorrow. I know it's tough having two weekend daddies, but you have to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles.

Well folks, that does it for me. I hope you were informed as well as entertained today. Sure, there was a bump in the road (what a woodead I am), but I believe things went reasonably well overall. In the end, I suppose that's where hope gets you. Learn from me, kids.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky has got your back tomorrow.

Have a great evening. Remember, nothin' lasts forever, even cold November rain. Well, except for this video. Nine minutes? Sheesh. Axl Rose, you maniacal egomaniac!

(thanks to DS reader Merle for the screencap)

The first idea we had was to recruit some well-known music writers to see what happened to their ear drums after a couple of spins. Craggs had Greil Marcus lined up, but he backed off. Chuck Klosterman was also intrigued by the idea, but was bogged down in other projects.

So, second plan — find a producer to remix one of these McCarver tracks and modernize it a bit. Luckily, a fine gentleman at Sony music answered the call and passed along the McCarverized version of an old Richard Rodgers ditty from 1937 called "I Wish I Were In Love Again" to someone he knew. Here's Tim's version.

Now, here's a remixed version done by an up-and-coming producer from North Carolina named A-Styles, who recently did some tracks for the Ying Yang Twins including this catchy little number called "Wild Out". With his help, he's transformed McCarver's version from dewy swing into dirty souf trip-hop.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Your editor tomorrow is TBD, for now. Sunday, Barry P.

No more pain.

Video: Mike Byhoff

First there's Fred Mitchell's "Around The Town" column which mentioned Sosa's desire to endorse the European mystery skin treatment in the U.S. Then David Haugh wishes the slugger a happy 41st birthday by asking some of his former teammates about his new face and interviewing British cosmetologists about why Sosa would do such a thing. Then he lobs this little dig at the end: "If Sosa says he's not trying to look like Michael Jackson, that's good enough for McRae. But cynics who remember the way Sosa played right field at the end of his career may point out it's not the first time he has resembled Jackson."

And The Trib's John Kass did everything but suggest he wouldn't fuck Sosa's face with Bea Arthur's dick:

• "pale as some manly Lady Gaga"
• "new Sammy looks like a boneless veal cutlet."
• "It's as if someone carefully deboned Sammy's face, rolled the skin and dipped it in an egg wash before dusting it with flour."
• "Maybe Sammy just wants to look like one particular, albeit dead, European male: Harry Caray."

***** (H/T J. Ash)

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry will be posting later at some point.

Starters Courtney Fortson (pictured) and Stefan Welsh are out indefinitely. Also suspended were Marcus Britt, Glenn Bryant and Nick Mason, each of whom attended a frat party in August where a freshman claimed she had been raped by three unnamed basketball players. (No charges were filed.) Let us now recall the Twittery words of Fortson, shortly after news of the rape investigation broke:

Im gettin it at workouts like a dude who doesnt understand the word no from a drunk girl lol

Today, he sounds chastened, like a man who's learned the hard way that rape is no LOLing matter.

There's always hardships u go through wit life but as long as u have control of yourself I'm sure u will find a way. C fortson

U will, Courtney. U will.

Arkansas will be down a man, or five [Searching for Billy Edelin]
Pelphrey suspends five players [ESPN]

* * * * *

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky will be around tonight to print some more lies.