•The Jaguars owner says he'd love to draft Tim Tebow next year, if only to sell more tickets. I'd say it's a little premature, considering we don't know the draft order yet, but seeing as how the Jaguars played on Sunday, they might well have their choice.

•In a battle to see who's the best of the second best in the second best league, the Rockies bullpen made it a damn sight closer than it needed to be, but they extended their wild card lead to 3½ game over the Giants.

•Alex Gonzalez was your ninth-inning hero with a bases loaded blooper, as the Red Sox stole a win from the Angels. Look, I know it's a meaningless game between two teams with nothing on the line, but you'll have months with nothing but football news soon. Let baseball have its time in the sun.

•The NFL fined the Jets and Eric Mangini $125,000 for not listing Brett Favre on the injury report, when he should have been marked "probable." Not to get all existential on you, but with serial killers, car accidents, meteorites, and the ever-looming specter of pancreatic cancer, aren't we all just "probable?"

•The new Cowboys stadium could break the attendance record this Sunday, surpassing the 103,467 forced to watch San Francisco and Arizona in Mexico City a few years back. Being in Mexico, that crowd was located in the back of a Dodge Ram Van.

•F1 is facing some very serious race-fixing allegations. Worst-case scenario, all the sponsors back out, advertising dollars stop flowing, car and driver qualities plummet, and the fans leave in droves. In other world, the IRL.

•Finally, courtesy of Docksquad Sports, here's Dwyane Wade and co. butchering a Boyz 2 Men classic:

Dwyane Wade had his way in Miami last night, scoring 41 points to extend the Heat's first round series against the Hawks to a seventh game. Speaking of which, there's a pretty big game seven going on tonight in Boston, although that's just one of the events that could make today one of the best sports days of the year. Follow me if you will for a brief rundown of some of the day's offerings.

Hockey: The Capitals and Penguins open the most highly anticipated series of the playoffs this afternoon in DC. 1 pm EST on NBC.

Soccer: El Clasico between Barcelona and Real Madrid. More on this shortly.

Golf: The third round of the Quail Hollow Championship features Tiger and Phil near the top of a stacked leaderboard. 3 pm on CBS.

Baseball: Regional action, including a certain Phillies/Mets series, can be seen at 3:30 pm on FOX.

Horses: The 135th running of the Kentucky Derby will take place at a soggy Churchill Downs. Coverage starts at 4 pm on NBC, although post time is some two hours later.

Basketball: The Bulls/Celtics series has to end sometime, and that time will come tonight after an indeterminate number of overtime sessions at the new Garden. Only then will we be able to properly rank it amongst the greatest playoff series of all time. See the game tonight at 8 pm on TNT.

Boxing: Pound-for-pound king Manny Pacquiao takes on Manchester's favorite son Ricky Hatton tonight on HBO Pay-Per-View in the biggest fight of the year to date. I'll have a preview of the fight up this afternoon.

So yeah, get comfortable.

PHOTO: Getty Images via Yahoo! Sports

*******

Good morning. Let's dance (NSFW language).

So many questions, so little time. When did this happen? Why did this happen? Where did this happen? Who the hell is the drunken boob, why is he wearing a $20,000 white suit, and is he really, as the video alleges, a billionaire? I DEMAND ANSWERS.

Update: Should've guessed — Viral marketing. (HT: John)

Update #2: Ethan Jaynes of NESW Sports has figured out that it's probably a Converse viral marketing campaign.

It's kind of unfortunate that the NBA is marketing this with their little "NBA Cares" logo and sugary background music, like Wade was sent to the kid's house to boost the league's image. This story doesn't need any help, Stern. Just let it happen. Michael Stolzenberg is an 8-year-old Miami-area boy who almost died from a bacterial infection caused by an insect bite this past summer. Michael, the starting quarterback on his youth football team and an avid basketball player, had both his hands and feet amputated due to the illness.

The Heat heard of the efforts to raise money for Michael's rehabilitation, and Wade visited the boy in his Weston home. Then, during the Heat's game with the Grizzlies on Monday, the magic happened. When Wade's shot at the buzzer beat Memphis in overtime, he knew what he wanted to do. Michael was at the game, and Wade gave the boy his jersey.

"I knew where he was sitting, so when I caught his eye and saw him smile right back, it's great," Wade said. "It didn't matter at that time, the connection that we had, it didn't matter who was looking. It was just us."

"He lights you up, the smiles on his face. He seems so happy," Wade said. "Everything that's happened to him is unfortunate. But he lights you up. He makes you feel good. He's a kid I've had a relationship with for a while. I've been to his room. He has everything already in there, and I wanted to add to it."

You've added a lot more than a jersey, my friend.

Damned airborne particles ..

Dwyane Wade Gives His Jersey To Disabled Weston Boy In Stands [Florida Sun Sentinel]
Michael Stolzenberg Trust

The NBA politely reminded the Miami Heat last weekend that these disgusting displays of personal expression are not allowed on their courts, and while that may seem like a case of fussy old white men taking all the fun out of pro basketball, this was actually a necessary corrective meant to restore competitive balance.

Wade was named February's Eastern Conference Player of the Month after being "aided," no doubt, by his fancy adhesive bandages. Yes, he's scored 87 points in his last two games without the performance enhancing strips, but his 41 last night against Cleveland still left him one point shy of opponent LeBron James—and the Heat lost to the Cavs.

Obviously wearing a custom Band-Aid on your face is good for one free throw a night. And no matter how many fans get excited about the craze or start buying the bandages for charity, that's just too much of an edge for Wade. Problem solved!

Cleveland vs. Miami Highlights [NBA.com]
NBA bans Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade's stylish Band-Aids [Miami Herald]
NBA Cracks Down on Personalized Band-Aids just in Time [The Sports Union]

According to Jose Lambiet of the Palm Beach Post, former Wade business partner Richard Von Houtman said he witnessed Wade smoking pot, and that that he saw "remnants of sex parties" at a Miami Beach apartment used by Wade, who was married, and his entourage.

"The man isn't what people worldwide think he is," Von Houtman said Sunday in an extensive interview. "He and his friends are just a bunch of idiots. I mean, I'm in Chicago at a charity party in 2007, and weed is being passed around and Wade takes a hit. In front of everybody.

"I got sucked into doing business with him because he has a first-class media persona, the new Michael Jordan. He was that good guy, father-of-the-year, celebrity who had his head on his shoulder. I found out after a year he was not like that."

Von Houtman rented Wade a $1.7 million, two-story condo in the Spear Building on Miami Beach for $20,000 in 2007 and '08. He turned it over to Wade and his childhood friend Marcus Andrews to use as headquarters for their marketing company, Wade Global Enterprises. But, according to Van Houtman, it also became a headquarters for sexy time.

"They'd have these parties in there two or three times a week," Von Houtman said. "There were always dozens of people in there. Rappers, Dwyane and his entourage, women they'd pick up in clubs. They (Wade and Andrews) both made it clear to me how their goal in life is to have sex with as many women as possible."

It's worth noting that Wade's publicist says that Van Houten's claims are "fairy tales." Wasn't it just a short while ago that Wade was the ultimate super-religious, happily married straight arrow? When did evil Dwyane escape the Phantom Zone?

Ex-Partner: D. Wade's Condo Used For Sex Parties [Page 2 Live]
So Dwyane Wade Likes To Have Wild Sex Parties ... [Sportaphile]

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Now Is This Considered Southern Justice?

Not sure how much of this you've heard, but I have a friend in the Miami Heat organization. He told me that D-Wade (whose marriage is in divorce proceedings) took a horrifying turn when his wife (who mysteriously picked up Herpes) demanded a list of all the girls he slept with while they were married.
You may know that D-Wade is now with Gabrielle Union and happy. But when his wife initially found out she got a dose of the nasty stuff....she apparently placed all his NBA stuff in the living room: His MVP trophy, and all sorts of other shit that meant the world to him. While D-Wade wasn't home, his wife took a baseball bat to all his stuff and bashed the fucked out of them for him to find when he got home.

ME NO UNDERSTAND YOU, SIR

HEY THERE AJD@DEADPSIN (WOW COOL LAST NAME)

U THINK U CAN HELPO ME SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY JERRY MANUEL VIDEO GAME ENTITRITLEED "U R JERRY AND JERRY IS U!?:

http://urjerrygame.blogspot.com/

like PUT MY LINK ON URS SITE MAYBE SORTZ? OR JUST TELL PEOPE LABOUT IT GOTT SPREAD THERD THIS COULD BGE GOOD FOR XBOX/MICROSTOT/PS3/NINTENTONP MAYBE?


But She Has Veins In Her Hip Bones

After decades in the industry as a celebrated non-commercial photographer, Los Angeles photographer John Stutz has recently published his highly-anticipated first collection of works in a beautifully crafted book titled Fit Girls, Volume 1 – providing examples of what truly motivated women can achieve with determination and focus. Many of the women in the book are former Miss Universe or Miss Olympia...Within Fit Girls, John reveals inspiring images of the exquisiteness found in the subtle curves of a perfectly sculpted body – women that enhance the natural beauty of the human form...The first of two volumes, Fit Girls, Volume 1 is, from cover to cover, a telling example of John’s dedication to the art form. Volume 1 is an enormous 320-page, 10-lb book with a magnificent leather cover.

Oh, You Do, Do You?

I see my story was posted...

Like I said, don't know if it is true but hilaruious regardless....

I have several connections in the sports world...one involves Amy Mickelson banging Michael Jordan.......

Yep, These Are My Seats

Here's a pic (from my tv) of Bill Simmons at the Clippers game last nite..
I used it in this post
http://youbeenblinded.com/the-fire-super-bowl-edition/2710

but i thought you guys MIGHT find it funny..

Have a good one fellas..

The Miami Heat guard petitioned for divorce in May, and things have gotten progressively more heated until this weekend, when it was revealed that Siohvaughn, who has two sons with Wade, 5 and 1, has issued a laundry list of grievences against her husband.

From the Miami Herald:

In legal papers, she alleges he abandoned his children, committed adultery, and infected her with an unspecified sexually transmitted disease. She wants the names of ''all of his sexual partners'' during their six-year marriage.

Dwyane, named a ''Father of the Year'' in 2007 by the National Father's Day Committee, has gone ''months'' without seeing his boys, Siohvaughn says. His ''failure to spend time with them . . . has resulted in the children at times being afraid of him; in fact, Zion . . . does not recognize or know Dwyane.'' She wants sole custody, and support.

She also says she has suffered ''grievous physical, emotional and mental injury'' from the STD, diagnosed in the fall of '07. (The infection is not HIV or a ''killer thing,'' sources say.) Dwyane and his ''paramour or paramours'' are liable, she alleges.

Yes, haul those paramours into court. Then detail the liaisons, indiscretions and romantic tete-a-tetes. Is William Holden on the premises? Can I get another martini?

Dwyane Wade's Wife Says He Gabe Her STD's [Total Pro Sports]
Your Sunday Dwyane Wade Sexually Transmitted Disease Alert [Not Qualified To Comment]

Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business Digest)

But not so fast: The image on the packet is the same one used on NBA Live 06 and was, according to Wade's spokespeople, not authorized by the NBA star. So, this isn't one of those situations where high-profile celebs get millions of dollars in Asia to promote blue jeans or beer. This is actually more comparable to when Ellen Griswold becomes the shower-dancing star of "The Hot, Wet Wife" in Italy.

Hopefully, D-Wade has a good lawyer in his five.

Dwayne Wade: Long, strong, and down to get the friction on! [Sports Business Digest]















From Finals MVP To Sex Pill Pusher [Black Sports Online]

"Ping Pong Balls And A Dream" is what NBA.com is calling it, and hey, who can't get excited about that? There's no obvious No. 1 and No. 2 like Oden and Durant last year, though certainly Derrick Rose is going to make someone awfully happy. True Hoop has a good rundown of what each lottery team is thinking, and hey, look: Dwyane Wade will be representing the Heat! Talk about a fall. We hope he brings Star Jones with him.

So yeah: It starts tonight at 8 p.m. Ping pong balls and Dwyane Wade in a suit.

By the way, FanIQ has some "great" NBA Draft Lottery moments.

The Heat were the worst team in the NBA this year, and Wade's buddy Shaq is gone. More to the point, though ... Wade's supposedly dating Star Jones (Star Jones! Seriously!) and having alleged groupies of his call into radio stations. Wade went from the superstar everyone can like to a beaten, injured spirit who's showing up in gossip pages everywhere. (With Star Jones!) (!!)

We dunno; we supposed we're just worried about the guy. That seemed to turn, like, really fast.

Dwyane Wade Groupie Discusses Hookup On The Radio [You Been Blinded]
Sportsman Of The Year: Dwyane Wade [SI Vault]

According to a person affiliated with the Miami Heat organization, Star Jones has been picking up Dwayne after most of their recent home games. The insider told MediaTakeOut.com, "[Dwayne's] teammates are even joking around with him about it. They say he has to watch his back - cause Al's gonna get him."

Pat Riley should really learn to keep his mouth shut and mind his own business.

G.W.H.T.I.T.: Dwyane Wade Is Dating Star Jones? [Sports By Brooks]
(Photo: Gliteratti Gossip)

• It seemed like a good idea at the time. Last night's Heat/Lakers game should be considered Exhibits A through Z in the case against TNT scheduling its national broadcasts six months or whatever in advance. Ever since the Big Trade Bait got sent from L.A. to Miami, the Kobe versus Shaq duels have been a staple of our yearly NBA diet. But with Shaq gone and the Heat on a one-way trip to Lotteryville, this contest turned into a 48-minute bitchslap by the Lakers. Sure, Dwyane Wade pulled the Heat to within nine points in the fourth quarter, but the way Mamba was staring D-Wade down like a Cheshire Cat pretty much sums up what kind of chance Miami had of winning this game. Jordan Farmar poured a career-high 24 points on Miami's grave, and Kobe fertilized it with 21 points and 8 assists. The Heat got 18 from Wade and 13 points and 11 boards from Shawn Marion who should start missing his days with the Phoenix Suns right about...now.

• Well, that didn't take long. According to the Associated Press recap: "It took Devin Harris only nine minutes to turn around the New Jersey Nets and make Jason Kidd seem like a distant memory." Maybe I'm a cynic, but a 120-106 win over the Milwaukee Bucks - a team the Nets had already beaten twice this season - doesn't exactly qualify as a "turnaround" in my book. Still, Harris played pretty well: He scored 16 of his 21 points in a 28-13 Nets run between the second and third quarters that turned a 22-22 tie into a 50-35 New Jersey lead. Harris also added 5 assists and a comical posterization of Bucks center Andrew Bogut that had the crowd cheering and chanting his name. This is what we call "The Honeymoon Phase," Devin. Enjoy it. Vince Carter and Richard Jefferson provided Harris with some support by scoring 19 a piece, and Michael Redd led the Bucks with 33.

• Flush! What better way for New Yorkers to sober up after the Giants' improbable Super Bowl victory than to watch the lowly Knicks drop a home game to the equally lowly Clippers? The only thing harder to look at than the game was Chris Kaman, who returned after missing four games with a case of the butt-uglies. "They're a struggling team just like we are," said Kaman. "It's like a toilet bowl game or a dust bowl game. Two bottom teams fighting." So ... I guess that would make Los Angeles the soiled toilet paper and New York the large, steamy deuce? Anyway, the Clippers had seven players in double figures, led by Cory Maggette's 19 and Kaman's 15 (to go along with his 9 boards). The Knicks got 19 points and two measly rebounds out of Eddy Curry, plus another 18 points from Jamal Crawford.

• Holy flyswatters, Batman! Remember in the old Superfriends cartoon how Batman had, like, everything in his utility belt? Bat-boomarangs, Bat-lasers, Bat-grenades, Bat-handcuffs, Bat-anal lube, Bat-pictures of Robin naked ... if it existed, it was in that belt. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if Batman kept an extra Josh Smith in one of those little yellow pouches, because J-Smoove did it all last night: 19 points, 6 rebounds, 9 assists, 9 [!!] blocked shots, and four steals. As an afterthought, the Hawks beat the Sixers 96-91. The Hawks also got 21 points from Josh "The Other Josh" Childress and 18 from Joe "Mama" Johnson. Meanwhile, Andre "Please, God, please let them trade me" Miller had 29 for Philadelphia.

• Better than the third-best team in the East! After consecutive embarrassing losses to the top two teams in the Eastern Conference, the Dallas Mavericks suddenly remembered how to play basketball, beating the Orlando Magic 107-98 behind Josh Howard's 28 points. Dirk Nowitzki, free from Rasheed Wallace's cutting words, went for 20, 9, and 5. Dwight Howard showed off his manliness with 28 points (but only 7 boards), and Hedo Turkoglu's first career triple double - 13 points, 13 rebounds, 12 assists - was wasted in the loss.

• Phoenix discovers winning formula. Leandro Barbosa scored 30 points and Raja Bell hit seven three-pointers as Phoenix sprinted to a 118-104 win over the Charlotte Bobcats. The Suns are now undefeated when both of those things happen. Sometimes winning is just that easy. Jason Richardson led the 'Cats with 25 points, and Emeka Okafor chipped in with 18 points and 13 rebounds.

• I got yer All-Star right here, bitches. Chris Paul might be an All-Star, a leading candidate for the mid-season MVP award that doesn't exist, and all kinds of awesome, but Deron Williams used him, abused him, and flat-out humiliated him in Utah's 110-88 victory over the New Orleans Hornets. Williams had 29 points and 11 assists, both game highs, while Chris Paul disappointed with 6 points (3-for-11), 6 assists, and 5 turnovers. Kyle Korver contributed 20 points and six three-pointers to the Jazz cause, while Carlos Boozer chipped in 19 points and 17 boards. Jannero Pargo (24 points) was the Hornets' best player. Yes, Jannero Pargo.

• He is, like, so clutch. Forget all those first-round exits and post-game cry-fests. Tracy McGrady totally willed his Houston Rockets to a 92-86 victory over...the second-worst team in the league. Impressive. T-Mac had 26 points, 6 rebounds, 7 assists, and won the game with two huge hoops in the final 70 seconds. Yao Ming scored 16 points, grabbed 5 rebounds, and played no defense whatsoever. Not coincidentally, Al Jefferson kept the T-Wolves in the game with his 33 points and 16 rebounds. Now, speaking of clutch...

• Portland didn't have The Answer. Because he's, like, on the Nuggets. Allen Iverson scored 19 of his 25 points in the second half and hit the game-winning shot with less than a second left in overtime as the Nuggets downed the Blazers 105-103. Denver was without Marcus Camby, but Carmelo Anthony was back and picking up the slack - hey, that rhymed! - with 28 points and 15 rebounds. Brandon Roy led the Trailblazers with 26, but he missed a three-pointer at the buzzer that would have won the game.

• Do It Again! Do It Again! Dwyane Wade had 35 points and 10 assists to lead the Heat past the Clippers 100-94 Sunday afternoon. The win snapped Miami's five-game slide and gave coach Pat Riley his 1,200th career victory. Riles is the third NBA coach to reach 1,200 wins, and got to the mark in just his 1,842nd game, faster than any other coach. Similar to his Gatorade commercial, D-Wade ended the first-half scoring with a vicious dunk over a very large white man. Unfortunately for Paul Davis' wallet, it was Chris Kaman's turn.

• Where Pwnage Happens. Kobe Bryant dropped 28 points, youngster Andrew Bynum matched a career high with 20, and the Lakers pulled away in the fourth to beat the Warriors 123-113. Nothing new here. Since returning to LA's bench in '05, Phil Jackson has won nine consecutive games against the Dubs, including the past five over the Don Nelson-coached club. He owns Nellies' small-balls.

• Welcome Back. After five games in a suit, Chris Bosh shook off a strained groin to play 40-plus minutes, scoring 21 points and grabbing 10 boards as the Raptors beat the Rockets 93-80. The Dinos trailed by 14 in the first quarter and were down nine at intermission, but they turned the game around in the second half when the Rockets forgot how to score. Former Rap Tracy McGrady had 23 for Houston, while Yao Ming scored 15 and Steve Francis had the time of his life.

• Hangin' Tuff. Caron Butler scored 20 of his 28 points in the second half — the more important half, you see — leading the Wizards to a 104-89 victory over the Nets. Jason Kidd, sans migraine, tallied his 93rd career triple-double with 13 points, 13 assists and 10 rebounds in defeat. I told him that warm bath would help!

You, of course, have your eccentrics, your occasional crack addict, your "I Saved My Mom From Killing Herself" story and, in a touching tale, your "Stop Using Me In Your Campaign Literature!" bouquet.

But for our money, nothing can ever beat LeBron James' mom. Let's take a moment and remember the highlights of her drunk driving arrest last year.

• She was "driving in an erratic manner, weaving in and out of traffic at a high rate of speed."
• When they first tried to put handcuffs on her, she wrang herself free before she was sedated again.
• Once in the car, she kicked out the side window of the backseat.
• The police, exhausted with dealing with her, eventually sprayed her with mace.

So, Happy Mother's Day, everyone! Hopefully your mom will find a way to avoid the mace.

Your friend and ours Dan Le Batard piles the dirt on the Heat's grave.

Chicago had only five turnovers. The Bulls essentially got out of the way and waited for the champs to fall on their face. Rarely has a defense of a basketball championship been this weak, embarrassing and short-lived. It is an unprecedented failure on O'Neal's resume. ''One of the most miserable experiences a man will ever have,'' Riley said.

So this time, the final image wasn't of Wade joyfully tossing the basketball toward the heavens and unleashing a basketball celebration unlike any this town had ever seen. This time, Wade was pulled out early and given a grieving hug by Riley and pity applause from the crowd after getting the ball stolen from him yet again.

Meanwhile, Bruce Willis drunkenly led his Nets to a commanding 3-1, and we won't have to hear many stories about Kobe for much longer. Shame, too: We hope he goes for 100 in the elimination game, just for giggles.

A Look At The Losers: Miami Heat [The Fanhouse]
Heat Loss Makes Us Appreciate Last Year [Miami Herald]