It's been awhile since I've played an up-to-date version of one of EA Sports' football games and it's good to know that they continue to push the envelope on massive time wasting. There are so many options and modes and mini-games, that you can get lost in this thing forever and never find your way back out. Would you like to simulate 60 years worth of a college football dynasty? Why not! Who needs family and friends? (But first personalize every player in the game by choosing from one of 30 different faces.)

I can't even begin to fathom the time commitment required to master every level of this game. There's dynasty mode, which requires a Kiffin-like dedication to slander and innuendo to woo digital recruits to your team. There's online dynasty mode, where you create your own fake schools and earn them accreditation, like the University of Phoenix. There's a massive online competition that will take place during the real college football season, where the games you play at home somehow win prizes and glory for your favorite school in real life. Oh, and there's an actual football game in there somewhere.

There's also a single-player career mode that allows you control an individual player from his high school state playoffs to college graduation. I think I like this one the best because it really captures the torment and endless soul searching that comes from being a fifth-string running back on a Big Ten also-ran. When I say control the player, I mean you control his life. You go to practice every day, you have to decide whether he goes to the library or the gym in the evenings, and you're not even guaranteed playing time. Now that's realism.

The other thing I like about career mode is that you don't have to call your own plays, because I barely understand the playbooks as it is. On the rare occasions when I was playing an actual game, I was completely flummoxed by the various schemes, particularly on defense. (There was no way in hell I was pulling off a "defensive hot route." What is that?) I'm going to need at least another month of two-a-days to get this stuff down. I didn't do this much homework when I was actually a college student. Fortunately, there's a "family" (i.e., dumb guy) mode for old people with bad hand-eye coordination like myself.

I have no doubt that you could play this game for weeks without ever participating in a full football game and you would still not run out of features to mess with. Even more amazing, you wouldn't get bored. If you like that level of minutiae and nerd-ery then you will definitely get your money's worth.

Since I obviously have no idea how to play or review video game, would those of you who don't have the game yet like to know more? Tell me what you'd like to know or see and I'll try to figure it out this weekend and report back. And if you do have the game, feel free to share your tips and tricks in the comments. Help me, help you.

[Images from EA.com]

Sam Keller, who played quarterback at Arizona State and Nebraska, has filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of all NCAA football and basketball players, claiming that Electronic Arts conspired with the NCAA and their licensing arm to "to violate bylaws that prohibit the use of collegiate athletes' names and likenesses in the publisher's NCAA Football and NCAA Basketball sports sims." Even though the games contain no actual player names, nearly every player in the NCAA 2009 football game can be linked to a real world doppelganger. Coincidence? Keller doesn't think so.

With rare exception, virtually every real-life Division I football or basketball player in the NCAA has a corresponding player in Electronic Arts' games with the same jersey number, and virtually identical height, weight, build, and home state. In addition, Electronic Arts matches the player's skin tone, hair color, and often even a player's hair style."

"Eugene Jarvis, for example, stands a mere 5'5" and weighs only 170 pounds. He is also an African-American red-shirt junior from Pennsylvania who wears number 6 for the Golden Flashes. And although he is extremely talented, Mr. Jarvis is unusually small for a college football player. For these reason, one would expect a randomly generated virtual running back for the Golden Flashes to be somewhat dissimilar to Mr. Jarvis." The suit goes on to note that Number 6 for the Golden Flashes in NCAA Football 2009 perfectly matches Jarvis' real-life information.

Also, the game makes it extremely easy for users to upload actual names or create their own virtual players that mirror real-life people. A group of retired NFL players won a similar lawsuit on this issue last year. Every one will know that's Colt McCoy leading your Fake Texas Longhorns vs. Fake Sam Bradford and the Fake Oklahoma Sooners, even if the names aren't on the back of the jersey. Maybe the real Colt and Sam get some kind of compensation for that.

On the other hand ... the game is so damn fun. If college players had to be compensated for their exact height and weight, EA would simply stop making "authentic" rosters and that makes the game a lot more boring. And doesn't the money that the NCAA makes off the deal go back to the schools, which goes to scholarships? Is that fact that you can play a video game as yourself reward enough?

Just how shady this practice is probably depends on which side of the "college athletes should be paid" argument you fall on. And how quickly you can replace Sam Keller when playing Dynasty Mode with Nebraska.

Ex-NCAA Quarterback Sues Electronic Arts Over Games (Update2) [Bloomberg]
EA, NCAA sued over sports-sim likenesses - News at GameSpot [Game Spot]
Former College QB Has Strong Case Against NCAA & EA [CNBC]
EA Sports, NCAA sued by former Nebraska quarterback Sam Keller? What a mismatch [Orlando Sentinel]

Well, being the new son of God has clearly done wonders with the knee rehab.

Tiger Woods birdies 18 to beat Jesus [Dogs That Chase Cars]

Moore was corporate vice president of the Interactive Entertainment Business in the Entertainment and Devices Division at Microsoft, the latter name which always brings a smile to my face. That's because every time there was a job opening at Entertainment and Devices, there would be this mass exodus from all other buildings on the Redmond campus (including MSNBC, where I worked), and a mad scramble for applications. "I get to test video games all day? Cool!"

Anyway, welcome to Redwood City, Peter Moore. I have stolen your garden gnomes, and am outside of your office window right now, performing a little play with them.

EA Confirms Moore's New Job [Kotaku]