Jason Bay popped the first cherry by doubling in a pair of runs in the top of the 1st, and Evan Longoria followed suit with a 2-run bomb in the bottom half. After that, this game turned into a full-blown whore. But really, it's not like we're going to bore you by going through every hit (there were a combined 24) describing every home run (7 in total, tying a postseason record) or breaking the pitching performances (14 total pitchers took the mound). Just know that B.J. Upton finally ended the long night with a sac fly in the 11th. Fill in the rest of the blanks when this sucker gets replayed on ESPN Classic as soon as they obtain the rights.

Well, ESPN Classic is getting into the act now; in a couple of months, The Rock is going to be hosting a full day of Miami Hurricanes games on the U, according to an internal ESPN memo that's not as fun as the great John Skipper intraoffice one but is still fun. THE ROCK BLEEDS ORANGE AND GREEN.

In conjunction with the upcoming release of the movie The Game Plan, and having Dwayne Johnson host a day of his most memorable Miami Hurricanes football games, please note the following schedule changes to ESPN Classic on Thursday, 9/20, from 9am-7pm:
Miami @ San Diego State (1992) 9-11am
Miami @ Colorado (1993) 11am-1pm
Miami @ Florida State (1993) 1-3pm
Syracuse @ Miami (1993) 3-5pm
1992 Orange Bowl: Miami vs. Nebraska 5-7pm

By the way, that movie looks awesome, doesn't it?

If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can expect from a man named after a brand of Barbie.

Soak Up Those Cosmic Rays, American Gladiator Style [Just Call Me Juice]

(UPDATE: Amusingly, SportsWrap has tons more info on Malibu.)

So how's that going? Future Considerations checks in with a look at today's programming for the network, and finds it considerably less than "classic." Two highlights:

• 12:30 PM: Streetball: The And 1 Mix Tour Presented by Mountain Dew
If I had any ability with video editing, I would combine clips of Vince Carter's only showing in the NBA Dunk Contest with clips of TV Funhouse's The Baby, The Immigrant, and The Guy On Mushrooms sketches. Because that is every Streetball show.

• 8:00 PM: 2005 World Series Of Poker presented by Milwaukee's Best Light
Lon: Well, it's time for our all-in moment of the match
Norm: This guy is almost as big of a dog as my wife
Lon: *polite chuckle* OHHH ITS A CARD I KNEW WAS COMING! [POPULAR PLAYER} IS ELIMINATED.
Norm: You hate to go out like that. My wife threw me out once when the odds were in my favor.

We're doing a feature for that whole book thing next week where we're watching all ESPN networks for 24 hours and seeing if we survive. This post did not encourage us.

R.I.P. ESPN Classic [Future Considerations]

I can't believe this thing has been off the air for over 10 years. With all the bullshit game shows and reality shows on TV now, we can't find room for the Joust, the Gauntlet, or Breakthrough and Conquer? Put a million dollars on the line, or something, get 'roided-up monsters out there, come up with some new and sluttier outfits for the female Gladiators... I demand it.

A contestant just accused Nitro of oiling himself up to get an unfair advantage in the Conquer portion of Breakthrough and Conquer, and then Nitro outright cheated in the Joust. I forgot what a dick that guy was.

And I had no recollection of Joe Theismann commentating these things... which is a shame, because it might be the best work he's ever done. I also didn't remember Gladiator Malibu, who's got this long, blonde, feathered hair of which Theismann is totally jealous.

American Gladiators [TV.com]

What if the Quite Frankly cancellation and this news are related, and the grand plan is for ESPN to relaunch ESPN Classic as "ESPN Stephen A"?

But yeah, Norby's had himself a very busy week. By now, I think it's probably safe to say that he's the most famous "Norby" in sports. You know, I'm pretty sure that this could've happened, and no one would have noticed... and had it not been posted here, you probably wouldn't have. But that's not important. I think what's important now is that someone find a new vehicle for the Sklar brothers. I like those guys.

Cheap Seats [ESPN.com]
ESPN Classic [ESPN.com]
That'll Be All For "Quite Frankly" [Deadspin]

Well, now two of those shows have been cancelled. "ESPN Hollywood" went away a few months ago, and yesterday, "Classic Now" got the axe. We never take much joy in the cancellation of a program, because it ultimately just means hard-working people behind-the-scenes lose their jobs. Besides, we kind of liked "Classic Now," the very few times we watched it. But it has only been a year since the high-profile launch of all three shows, and now two are gone (as is Shapiro).

Stephen A., however, remains. Guy's gonna outlast us all, you watch.

"Classic Now" [ESPN]
Our Field Trip To "Quite Frankly" [Deadspin]