Just to explain what we're dealing with here, the 77-year-old boxing promoter held a press conference at Yankee Stadium today to announce a fight that's taking place in Las Vegas. So that gives you some insight into his living in the past mentality. Arum wants to bring fights back to the Bronx—but not if they involve Floyd Mayweather, who Arum thinks is not entertaining because he fights "scared." So that's a good start.

Then his one-on-one interview with Fanhouse's Ariel Helwani got really uncomfortable, when Helwani asked Arum about UFC and if its head-to-head matchup with the Mayweather-Marquez fight would hurt either pay-per-view haul.

For me, I look at the UFC audience and the boxing audience as being two different audiences entirely. Our audience in boxing is ethnic. Hispanic, Filipino, Puerto Rican, Mexican, and the hardcore boxing fan who can't watch ... like me ... can't watch UFC. UFC are a bunch of skinhead white guys watching people in the ring who also look like skinhead white guys.

Naturally, Helwani (a white guy!) took offense and tried to point out his feelings on the matter—but Arum helpfully set him straight.

And you don't have any tattoos. Ninety percent of the people in the audience wear tattoos. I don't care. That's up to them. But those aren't people that would have any interest, at any time, in boxing.

For me, and people like me, it is not something they ever care to see. They've watched it. It's horrible. Guys rolling around like homosexuals on the ground. It is not a sport that shows great, great talent.

And he says that like it's a bad thing! Arum went on to further explain how MMA is "garbarge and junk" and if you have any interest in it at all, you're probably garbage too. Oh, and UFC lies about their revenue figures. (But they're great businessmen! Some of his best friends are MMA promoters!) But Bob Arum's generation—and the Mexicans!—aren't buying it.

You should really watch the whole thing, because when it comes to angry old man rants, they just don't make them like this anymore.

Bob Arum Blasts Floyd Mayweather, MMA [Fanhouse]

The documentary series is following Marquez as he prepares for his showdown with Floyd Mayweather on September 19 and thanks to their intrusive, omnipresent style, viewers are finally clued into this utterly disgusting training technique. Marquez explains that a lot of vitamins in your body get expelled through urine, which is sorta true, so he figures the best way to get them back is by drinking your own piss.

Has he considered—and I'm just spit-balling here—maybe, I don't know ... taking more vitamins? (Yes, I have considered the possibility that Marquez is simply fucking with all of us [and Mayweather] but the man does get punched in the head for a living.)

The Weekend Ahead [The Queensberry Rules]
Marquez drinks his pee for fights [ABS-CBN News]

$7 million in jewelry? Javon Walker thinks Floyd Mayweather is classy yet understated.

$7 million jewelry stolen from Mayweather [Las Vegas Now]

Jewels Mayweather [Black Sports Online]

• Domo arigato Hiroki Kuroda: Almost perfect. But, alas, the Dodgers' rookie pitcher gave up one hit, 0 BBs, on the way to a 3-0 victory over the Atlanta Braves last night. Says a starstruck Joe Torre: "That was about as machine and robotic as you've ever seen a pitcher throw one strike after another." [Blue Notes]

•Mike And The Mad Dog Get Their Bodies Analyzed: There's still no official word on the fate of the "The Mike And The Mad Dog" radio show, although recent reports suggest the two are close to ending their relationship. Mike And The Mad Blog can't wait that long. They want answers now. So to figure out the fate of their loudmouthed heroes, they called in "The Babe Ruth Of Body Language Experts", Patti Wood, to analyze their on-air interaction for some clues. Her conclusion?" I think Mike is over it (the show). His ego is too big. And Russo is just clueless to how much it affects Mike." [Mike And The Mad Blog]

•An ode to Ricky Nolasco: The Florida Marlins are still hanging around the National League East and a big part of their success has been starting pitcher Ricky Nolasco. Icy Hot Sensations breaks down his success in a most amusing fashion: "Then, after spending about 20 minutes at the party where I knew few people, observing multiple partygoers stepping into the bathroom for 30 seconds and coming out noticeably excited, being thoroughly sketched out with half the party being early 20’s people and the other half being people in their 40’s-50’s accompanied by ladies 20 years younger, I decided to ask what was the fucking deal. My friend informed me that it was her friend’s father’s house, that he was kinda into drugs, and that all the older guys were his dealers and their girlfriends. They started shooting fireworks at each other and the cars driving down the street..." What? Yeah. It's a long intro. [Icy Hot Sensations]

• Floyd Mayweather has an active dislike for Oscar de la Hoya: Floyd Mayweather is not a fan of Oscar de la Hoya. (Maybe Oscar sprayed him with champagne?) And to prove just how much Floyd dislikes him, he offered this message to the Golden Boy in an upcoming boxing documentary: "Oscar De La Hoya, (expletive) you and (expletive) everything you stand for. I don’t like you, you don’t like me." [Larry Brown Sports]

Mayweather came back to the ring — with Wight's assistance — after an early onslaught, then used some help from his cornermen to get a metal folding chair (with which he landed a series of shots) and a pair of brass knuckles (which he snatched off a fallen cornerman's necklace).

Still less cheating than a typical Tyson fight.

Mayweather "won" the match, but here are the statistics that interested me: Attendance 74,635, WWE-record live gate at Orlando's Citrus Bowl of $5.85 million. And no telling how much pay-per-view revenue. Jesus, WWE; don't give Selig any ideas.

Mayweather Gets Pretty Payday In Another Ring [Los Angeles Times]
So 'Money' [SI.com]
Mayweather Knocks Out Big Show At WrestleMania {Muskegon Chronicle]

Mayweather is definitely taking trash talk to a new, odder level.

he Pretty Boy got the party started with this comment to Ricky Hatton: "I wish I was in prison with you. I'd make you my bitch."

Sticking with the prison theme, Hatton says Mayweather wanted to get OZ close and personal with him: "What Floyd doesn't know is that I don't get insulted. But he was very offensive. He told me he wanted to buttfuck me."

Well then. We're not sure how much we want to watch that Mayweather/Hatton 24/7 show now. It's not like "Cathouse," is it? We hope not.

Floyd Mayweather Wants To Pound Ricky Hatton [You Been Blinded]

Mayweather was sitting next to Motown legend Berry Gordy at L.A.'s Shrine Auditorium when an employee of private investigator John Nazarian handed him a copy of the suit, filed yesterday in L.A. Superior Court, over an alleged failure to pay child support for his three children with Josie Harris. Nazarian confirms it was "one of my crew," adding, "I'm too old to go in there myself and get smacked. I want to make sure no one messes up my flawless skin."

You know, we have a feeling this Nazarian fellow isn't as clever as he thinks he is. Meanwhile ... Floyd! Try to watch yourself when you're around Motown legends.

Boxing Champ Hit With Child-Support Suit [Radar]
Floyd Mayweatehr, Preparing For Rain [Deadspin]

After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely.

This video makes us kind of sad, actually. Hanging out with the not even that cool anymore 50 Cent, Mayweather looks like the socially awkward little buddy trying to hang with his wilder, more rowdy friends.

Video NSFW, not really.

50 And Floyd Celebrate Cinco De Mayo In Style [Prefix Mag]

Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all accounts, it was a thrilling fight that might have been closer than some people realize. But the best part for us, without question, was Mayweather's decision to enter the ring, on Cinco de Mayo, against Oscar de la Hoya, wearing a wearing a huge sombrero. That, friends, takes intestinal fortitude.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Celebrates Cinco De Mayo [SportsWrap]
Oscar Tries, Floyd Runs, Judges Confused [Rumors And Rants]

Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving boxing has any right to be anymore. It's obviously stilted, and it's promoting a fight that's not going to be nearly as evenly matched as everyone wants it to be, but it's entertaining television, and that's something boxing hasn't been for quite some time.

The fight itself is likely to disappoint, which is a shame, because, as has been pointed out, this is likely the last time boxing will be relevant in the distant future. As Unsilent puts it in his No Mas post, "It's not that I don't like the Golden Boy, I just happen to enjoy watching people punch him." That's what will happen, and then the reality shows will fade and we'll all go back to watching UFC, if you're into that. Or, you know, baseball or something.

Oscar Floyd, Unsilent Edition [No Mas]
The Best Damn Sports Show, Period [Slate]
Boxing Is Almost Down For The Count [ESPN]
(Associated Press photo)