We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

Yep, These Are My (Non) Readers

Tommy Teenager Is Not Happy

i dont think ive told you this lately, but you killed deadspin. so congrats on that.
basically everything that used to be great about deadspin when leitch left now sucks.
as a fellow philadelphian, i gave you some space to figure shit out, but man, you really blew it.

jesus you suck,
tommy.

ps- i hope you have some chapstick at the ready for everytime you've sucked denton's dick.

Dash Bennett: Alabama Bigot

Dashiell Bennett:

It is amusing to me to read such a poorly written article about a practically irrelevant sporting event by a pompous, self-righteous blowhard. The joke is actually on you, Mr. Bennett. While you think your witty, little Birmingham-bashing rants are garnering you favor and praise among your ilk, it's comical to see such ignorance on display. Birmingham is not without its problems (much like your fine city is not without its problems), and I cannot wait for the day that this city elects a competent mayor. But for you to continually bash an entire group of people based on geographic location alone is ignorance at its finest. You've never been to Birmingham, but your incredibly high level of disdain is as if Bull Connor put a fire hose on you himself. You're like Arthur Frommer (oh geez, I really don't wish to give your little posts that level of credibility) ranting about how terrible of travel location a place is he has never been.

In short, you're a bigot, Mr. Bennett. Albeit, your brand of bigotry has become widely-accepted today, it is bigotry nonetheless. It's actually quite the anomaly because you've become exactly what, I assume, led you to hate Birmingham, AL with such passion.

Sincerely,

Jon Sharpton

Birmingham, AL

Yes, We Get It: Todd Reesing Should Not Be Drinking Wine Or Playing With Tiny Dogs Or Dudes Or Whatever He's Doing In These Photos

(The Mainboard, others)

Please Send These Questions To Mr. Craggs For His New Weekly Column "Why Your Period Sucks"

When in menstrual cycle does face break out? Before I go ahead, is there any pointers you might have? Any info much appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Warmest Regards, Joan

Matt Stafford And Knowshon Moreno Like To Crush Alot

I'll Forward This Right Over To Him

hello my name is r.mack and i am very concerned about T.O I BELIEVE HE NEEDS A SPIRITUAL LEADER IN HIS LIFE.I BELIEVE THAT IF HE DOESNT CHANGE HIS LIFE AROUND HE WILL END UP LIKE ALOT OF RICH MEN GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSS YOUR SOUL. I BELIEVE T.O YOU CAN GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT THREW JESUS CHRIST THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH. YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE WHEN YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE. JESUS WILL BE THERE TO CONFORT YOU WHEN NO ONE IS THERE. COME TO OKLAHOMA T.O AND GET YOUR SPIRIT FEED AND EXCEPT JESUS AND IF YOU HAVE LETS LIVE LIKE HE WANTS US TO

No, Thank You

Whats up man. I was talking to my friend about what a dictator roger goodell is, and i said he should start running cuba, which led to the nickname Fidel Goodell. Feel free to use this, i haven't heard anyone else say it.

Thanks.

Enjoy

(blows otu) this remind me of my friend names qwerts. about 4 year ago he was married to this lady names henry etta. every thing seem normal in the outside. sure they have they problems (what couple dont) and they have good times too. one time at teh carnival qwerts threw quarter and it land perfectly on a red hole and bigno, he win a car. that night we all drive around until teh sun come up, laughin and talkin about that great throw he make. qwerts have his arm around henry etta teh whole time and they was kissin and smilin and you just knews that it was probly teh greatest time in the history of a world for them. i remember that night so clear because henry etta win that cd by kelly clarpson at the whackmole. we was playing it in the car and every time she sing since you is gone, huerta would burp real loud. it was one of them magic night where everything was perfect.

so a few month later I see qwerts and lets just put it this way, he is devistating. I ask him what is wrong "hey qwerts, you look sad, what is problem." "hey stups, it is henry etta. a few night ago she act all weird and next thing i knews, she is gone like a candle of a wind." So i just pet him on teh head and tell him everything gonna be alright and maybe she just forget somethin somewhere and she go to get it. you never really know what it could be. maybe she just see animals and she following them. who knows.

well, (bloews out) about 4 day later we get an answer. and just thinkin about it make knots on my stomach. qwerts was still sad so me and huerta decide that we gonna take him to teh carnival to cheer him up. huerta even buy that kelly clarks cd and teh way there we play that song over and over and huerta burps everytime...lol. we was really laughin and having great time and for one moments, it like qwerts was smilin and he forget about he problems. mission accomplist.

So we get to teh carnival and we doin all the thing we like to do. we all ride the coaster, me and huerta ride the swingin pirate ship and sit on the ends across from each other and when one of us get as high as we can we make funny face at the other guy. qwerts even go to the quarter toss to try to win another car but they dont let him throw one because he probly is so good at it. finally it is gettin late and qwerts decide he wanna play wackmoles before we go. he saw last time that one of they prizes was a paddle ball and he dog (at teh time) jimmy c had chewed the ball off he old paddle so he needed a new one anyways.

Just as he walk up to the game, he see something that will change he life forever. It is henry etta and she is playin whackmoles with another man. They is playin together and teh other man is behind her and they is holdin that mallet together. They was laughin and havin what look like the time of a life. Qwerts start walking over to them and huerta try to stop him, but I grab huerta arm and say "let'm go". Qwerts go over to them and say "henry etta, what is goin on. I am so sad and i dont knew where you is and now I come here and see you playin whackmoles with another man." I am so sad." It turn out that the other man is names Paul Swish. Some of you may know that he grandfather Josia Swish invent whackmoles and Paul been around that game he whole life. That is why henry etta like him because she favorite game is whackmoles and in teh wackmole world, teh swish name is Royal T.

We start walkin away and then huerta have an idea. "hey swish, how about you and qwerts play one whackmole game. who ever get hi score get henry etta." qwerts stop and he turn around to look over at paul and henry etta and they look at each other and think for a moment. Paul nod and wink at henry etta and he yell back " ok, you on." Wow, my heart start beatin like triples. This is exciting, this is a game that will change life for everyone involve. Me and huerta start rubbin querts shoulders. Huerta pull a towel out of he back pocket and put it around he neck. Qwerts step up to he machine and paul swish step up to his. A huge crowd is now gathered around as news spread of teh whackmole show down where the winner get henry etta. It is qwerts verse Paul swish. And now the game of a lifetime starts.

Teh moles is comin up fast and qwerts is really concentrate, he hittin almost all of them. he is biting his toungue and sweatin, he is tryin he best. I look over at paul swish to see how he doin. I will never forget what I see as long as i live. he is holdin that mallet sideways out in front of him with he hand in teh middle of it and he turning it with only he wrist and he hittin moles with both the top of the mallet and teh bottom of it (teh handle!). He is hittin moles so fast that teh crowd is screaming and applause. He other hand is on his hip and he look like a spanished bullfighter. It is breathtaking! And the worst part is that he is beating qwerts by thousand of points. It almost like he knews which hole that moles is comin out of before the moles do. Finally the game is over and qwerts have 520 points. He look over to see what paul swish score is and he see 340. He jump in the air and scream "I win!! henry etta is mine!" Then huerta tell him that he don't see the 6 in front of the 340. Paul swish actually score 6340 points and simply demolish qwerts. Paul and henry etta hug and kiss and they skip away forever, laughing and hi-fiving to teh crowd. paul was signin autogramphs as well.

That was 4 years ago and now qwerts is married to a real nice lady. He don't like to talk about henry etta and now when we go to teh carnivals, he avoid whackmoles all together (he only do squirt baloons). But he get through it and he a better man for it. we heard a few year ago that paul swish get beat at whackmoles by a chinesed boy and lose henry etta so qwerts take some comfort in that. Last we hear was henry etta live honk kong.

so basically what i sayin is you never know. life is unexpect and just kind of gotta roll in it.

stud+s

p and s while i was typin this huerta leave me voice mail that was just him doin burps...lol

Luckerbauer, an "Austrian living in Florida," has a long history of internet get-rich-quick businesses. His bio tells us this about him:

Alfred has invested in education and professional training all his life. He was always
looking for the best instructors and mentors to reach his goals. His Father was a teacher and to learn "How to create wealth" was not on the agenda in Austria. The principle of earning money was simple: work with your hands.

Earning money today is still a very simple system : "Think and Grow Rich"

YES, you can discover the secrets for wealth, if YOU choose to do so,
BigALMarketing and Discount Marketing Corp will share all his contacts and mentors with you.

So Luckerbauer has apparently taken on the task of helping Fred Ex rejuvenate his life, through wealth and wellness or some other goofy gospel that's a product of his own imagination, and is serving as some sort of mentor to him. The only reason I know about this is because Mr. Luckerbauer emailed the tips line this morning:

Do YOU agree with this TRASH on Freddie Mitchell on your blog ?

Here is the story.... http://freddie-mitchell.blogspot.com/

Regards

He also emailed Mr. Leitch this morning as well:

Looking at your post from http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/in-case-you-were-wondering-what-freddie-mitchell-has-been-up-to-lately-217314.php#comment

it SEEMS you are only a HATE WRITER ? Why do you want to write this TRASH ?

Go to and read..... http://freddie-mitchell.blogspot.com/

Questions ?

Regards

Alfred

One of Luckerbauer's projects is something called P.E.R — Pulsed Electromagnetic Energy — which, coincidentally, just so happens to be a product that Freddie Mitchell endorses. Now, granted, Freddie Mitchell is a comical loon who'd be better served just going away altogether until he actually does return to the NFL. (See? Pulling for you, Fred!) But if he continues to do idiotic things like this for online hucksters who in turn angrily email Deadspin to stick up for him, well, sorry to say Fred that you'll probably continue to see "trash" written about you on the internet. Take a lap, buddy.

Freddie Mitchell Speaks To His Fans [Freddie Mitchell]

Unfortunately, this is not a parody site. No, Fred-Ex/The People's Champ/First Down Fred interacts with the smattering of fans still left in the world still hopeful the man born with hands carefully constructed by God will someday rejoin an NFL team. The bulk of the site is dedicated to Mitchell answering various e-mail questions from people more lonely and delusional than himself.

Observe the [Sic'd]:

•

EagleYankee22: "Freddie, you're the man! The miracle of 4th and 26 is one of the greatest receptions in Eagles history. Why don't you think the Eagles used you as much as they could have?"

Fred Sez: Thanks Eagle … I think that the powers that be made that decision, possibly because my relationship with Donovan wasn't all that comfortable …

•

kory's stuff: Freddie ...i loved the dallas scramble...Greatest moment ever.Did u ever try and talk to coach Reid about gettin back to philly ? Hell it worked for trot eatin some humble pie.

Fred Sez: Kory, a big misconception here is that I was cut from the team, when in fact, I asked Coach Reid to be released. Thinking back on it now, I should have gone to the media and informed them first that I was asking to be released, rather than it looking like I was being cut from the team.

•

Kyle Garis: When you were a substitute teacher, did any kids ever hand in a test and say "I just want to thank my #2 Pencil for being so great"?

Fred Sez: Kyle, the substitute teacher thing was a big rumor … I did an appearance at the school, but my main reason for being there was to gather some valuable information on my little girls Mother's, brother. I guess you could call it Freddie Mitchell undercover cop!

And there's so much more. I only hope that Freddie doesn't get unjustly blackballed by the internet as he was by the NFL.

Freddie Mitchell's Personal Blog [Freddie-Mitchell]

The former "People's Champ" was briefly handcuffed last Thursday, but adamantly denies he had anything to do with the 7-pound box of weed delivered to the restaurant he co-owns. Mitchell claims it's all a big misunderstanding and that the super-aggressive cops are going after the wrong guy. Fred Ex's lawyer, John Liguori, has another theory:

"This was a case of celebrity hunting. They got all excited, and they jumped the gun."

Clearly.

Police tracked the package (delivered via FedEx, no less) after it arrived at Mitchell's 90-year-old grandmother's home and then was shipped off to Brothers Bar-B-Q. When Mitchell came outside to sign for the package, the fuzz pounced.
If there was any doubt that this story was written by Mitchell's hometown newspaper, look no further than the final couple paragraphs:

"First Down Freddie Mitchell" had a variety of nicknames when he played football, including FredEX. He was a star wide receiver for Kathleen High. At UCLA, he caught passes and dated starlets.

In Philadelphia, despite some good years, he lost his job for what he described on MySpace.com as "running my mouth."

Mitchell said he was reluctant to say anything bad about the LPD because the police "are doing a great job in the community."

The investigation is still ongoing at this point and Mitchell is not under arrest.

Ex-NFL Standout Under Scrutiny [The Ledger]

Five months ago, Mitchell moved back to Lakeland from Los Angeles while still trying to land a spot on a new team.

That hasn't happened, but he saw a different opportunity: Brothers' was struggling and perhaps ready for a sale. Within a few months, Mitchell had struck a deal with 85-year-old owner Mary Harris.

"I was wanting to get rid of it for a while, and I thought this might be the opportunity. I was deep in debt from it, too," said Harris, whose late husband, Ernie, opened Brothers' in 1986. "He (Mitchell) sounded as though he would continue to have the same quality that we did."

Since taking over three months ago, Mitchell has poured himself into the six-day work weeks of his new venture, and first foray into the restaurant industry.

I always get excited when athletes start their own businesses. Less time for drugs and rape that way. But all generalizations aside, stories about athletes returning home to their communities are really heartwarming. Especially when that athlete went tits-up after less than five years in the league. At least he won't be waiting by the phone anymore.

Former Football Star Tackles New Venture [The Ledger]

Thanks, David.

Freddie Mitchell, former Eagles' wide receiver, substitute teacher to the world, is still not yet back in the NFL. Although, it's not for lack of trying, as Fred Ex did have a tryout for the Baltimore Ravens last month. But ballplaya' or not, Freddie Mitchell still knows how to work it. The 700 Level shares this second-hand tale of Mitchell's lady-killing prowess.

She tells us that FredEx was chatting it up with one of her ladies and invited all 17 of them up to his suite for champagne and room service. They ate, drank, and hung out for 3-4 hours and had nothing but positive things to say about The People's Champ

It's obvious that there's still a little left of that $9m contract Mitchell signed with the Eagles — and that he's still trying to make good use of those God-given hands.

Freddie Mitchell: The Ladies' Champ [The 700 Level]

Maxim's Superbowl Shitshow party was everything one could hope for and so much more. The Sagamore Hotel transformed itself into a beachfront paradise with celebrities and athletes, and, of course FredEx and his Godly hands cavorting about the joint. Freddie Mitchell was attached to Irishman Brady Quinn and Julius Jones for most of the evening, trying to round up ladies, or an offseason workout partner, or relevancy— most likely all three. I approached Freddie, bursting with Eagles superfandom, thanked him for 4th and 26 and the Vikings Divisional playoff game which he totally owned. Then I asked for a pic. Next question?

"What are you up to now?"

Fred pauses. Annoyed...Death stare...He hates me.

"Chillin'..."

Obviously.

Action photos were scarce at the event, since many of the paid photogs would get a little huffy if renegade digital camera sorts were cockblocking their work. But , I did my best.

After the jump, read about the somewhat fascinating conversation with John Rocker, Warren Moon, and David Spade's fuckyfaced PR agent.

I arrived at the Maxim Party waaaay too early, proving my red carpet greeness and lack of confidence in being let in without the help of the dearly departed mustache. So, at 9 p.m, I'm sitting on an oddly shaped plastic love seat smoking a cigarette, taking in the Hotel De Maxim regime setting up their various Absolut Vodka and Coors Lights stations. I then wonder again how Coors Light continues to be allowed into these supposedly A-list events. Why doesn't Gennessee Cream Ale ever pony up for these things?

Dude comes over, asks to bum a cigarette, and introduces himself as Chris, a press agent for BWR.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to meet David Spade here and be his handler this evening. He'll be here soon."

Without much provocation, this greasy sumbitch just starts dumping on Spade for no reason.

"He's a real fucking loser. He's doing this sitcom right now that completely fucking sucks. But that's all he can get now."

"Well, he got Heather Locklear, though right?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation only 20% less slimey.

"He wishes. He's totally using her just to get his name out ther. Now, she's somebody. But, seriously, Spade's a nice guy, but he's a total fucking loser. If I get enough in me I might call him on it tonight."

"Oh, so they're just friends? They never hooked up? I kind of figure that. Or hoped that, at least."

Dude asks for another cigarette immediately after he puts the first one out he bummed.

"No, no, no. He's fucking her. He fucks her all the time. He's just acting like he's a good guy and in love with her, though. He's not. That's how he's using her.He's trying to pull of this nice guy routine, but it's not the case. I mean, he's cool and all, he's real friendly, but just not with her. Like I said, he's a fucking loser."

BWR Public Relations, ladies and gentlemen — they treat their clients great!

About 10 p.m. Spade walks in with the Farley Brother in tow. Kind of surreal, like in this weird Tommy Boy flashback kind of way — epic, really. I just feel bad for Spade. He should probably get some other people to handle his publicity better.

So, the rest of the early arrivals start to filter in. I'm alerted that John Rocker and Alicia Marie are milling about. Hey, they know Deadspin! Right? They do, actually, and give their regards to the Royal We. Alicia Marie says that when she and John were walking through Coconut Grove, O.J. Simpson stopped while in the back of his white limo, rolled down the window, and hollered over to John Rocker that he's a fan of his. Brilliant.

Most other people would probably lose their minds from such a creepy encounter with the Juice, but Rocker seemed a little perplexed of how to take the compliment, shrugged, and appeared to accept it for better, worse, and weirdness.

"He's kind of fat now, " Rocker said.

They graciously agreed to take a picture and then Rocker requested that there be no altering with photoshop. "Don't make it so her top's off or that I'm saying "I Hate Black People" or something." Luckily, I would have no idea how to do such a thing. They ruled.

After a few more Coors Lights, some of the bigger names began to walk in — Tony Romo, Andy Roddick, Spike Lee, uh, Jay Fiedler. Fiedler was introducing himself to a group of girls perched in one of the beachfront hotel rooms, scolding them for smoking.

I saw Warren Moon and did my best impersonation of a Houston Oilers fan to catch a few minutes of conversation.

"You're a warrior!" I said. He thanked me, asked if I was having a good time, then started to move with the crowd headed over to the main entrance way.

I probed him some more.

"Hey, man, that Buffalo game? That stil haunt you? I'm still pissed about it."

Moon was a little annoyed. "I'm sorry you're pissed. That was 20 years ago, you have to get over it. I did. I lost a lot of big playoff games in my life. That was just one of 'em."

"Yeah, but that was bad. Still kills me."

"It was 20 years ago. Y'all have a good time tonight."

Then he hustled through the crowd to go find a nice lady to take home and punch in the face. Or Coors Light. One or the other.

The Hotel de Maxim, unfortunately, had two bathrooms that were supposed to satisfy about 4,000 Coors Light-filled bladders for the evening. I and my cohort decided that we should head back to my hotel down the street to piss and then come back in. We were told we could come back in. But the wait was lengthy by that point due to the party getting extremely crowded and even though there was so much more magic on the inside — KFed! Fergie! Mike McMahon! Ridiculous looking girls made of suntan and areola! — but we'd had enough. But the Hotel de Maxim, was who we thought they were — shockingly awesome. I just hope David Spade had himself a good time.

We never tire of making fun of the various post-"retirement" exploits of former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Freddie Mitchell, but a reader from Indiana tops them all with a story (and picture) he sent in over the weekend. Here's the tale:

I was at home this past weekend in Mishawaka, IN, and my brother told me that over the summer Freddie Mitchell was a substitute teacher at Mishawaka High School. Supposedly the woman who was his kid's mother lives in town, and he needed some extra money. He lasted all of one week, due to the fact that he was caught asking girls for their phone numbers. My brother thinks he's still in northern Indiana somewhere, presumably subbing somewhere else.

I've attached a picture from the halls of MHS. I guess he wore his NFC Championship ring around as well.

Freddie Mitchell, instructing the youth of Northern Indiana. We think that would have been entertaining to witness.

Freddie Mitchell Talks His Way To The Arena League [Deadspin]

A reader's report from the Golden Dome this weekend:

I went to the Notre Dame-UCLA game this past weekend and who was sitting three rows in front of me .... Freddie Mitchell. Now, you may have been wondering what the center of Super Bowl Media Day but two years ago would be doing at a college game one day before NFL action ... well, this. He is a bum and is out of the league.

Well, I first spotted him about 5 minutes into the game and pointed him out. Other people spotted him as well and random "4th and 26" and Freddie yells happened for the first quarter. All fine and dandy and very accepting. The thing that got on everyone's nerves was the preening and standing that happened as UCLA started to take over the game. It started with overenthusiastic clapping and got worse. He was doing full 360s with a big smile on his face and making sure he was noticed. "I'm Freddie Mitchell and I'm here."

By the 3rd quarter, this a-hole was pointing at UCLA fans in other sections and gloating over 4 yard runs. How the mighty have fallen. There is one thing about ND crowds ... they are remarkably docile. Old alums with only a few beats to go make up the crowd, and it's hard to get much of a rise out of these people. But by the 4th quarter, even the 70 year old guy was seething at FredEx.

Well ... ND came back and won. And Freddie bolted ... I mean bolted ... after all his antics. The best line I heard as he left: "We knew FredEx didn't deliver on Sundays anymore...but I guess not Saturdays either."

For the record, as he was leaving the stadium before the rest of the fans, Mitchell still couldn't get open.

The guy about whom Patriots coach Bill Belichick once famously said, "we loved when Freddie was in the game" could have himself a new gig: He's in training camp with former teammate Terrell Owens and the Dallas Cowboys. The odds on him making the team are not good — unless, of course, Bill Parcells keeps him around just to make Owens seem comparatively sane — but the notion of him in camp is a brilliant one.

Fred-Ex, baby. He always delivers, though usually the packages are damaged and way too easily covered in soot. Or, if you will, Smoot.

Freddie Mitchell Update [WBRS Sports Blog]
Freddie Mitchell Talks His Way To The Arena League [Deadspin]

Well, he might have found his place now: The Philadelphia Soul, the Arena League team owned by Jon Bon Jovi and run by Ron Jaworski, are looking to sign Mitchell, who might find that he has no other options.

Personally, we think that Jaworski leaked this story to the Philadelphia Inquirer simply to humilate Mitchell, who is unlikely to sign, if just because he'd have to play defense. But we love the idea anyway; it's rare that one of the jerks gets his comeuppance, so it would be nice to see. Couldn't happen to a better fellow.

Freddie Mitchell Got Fingered [Philadelphia Will Do]