Free Darko On Boston-Cleveland

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Cleveland Cavaliers series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief.

I'm sorry Cleveland, but you guys have got to have the least threatening, least homecourt-advantage-giving playoff crowd in this entire field of 16. Yes, I know San Antonio didn't even fill its arena for some of its first round games, and yeah, I know Toronto and Orlando don't exactly bring the noise, but still, you guys take last. It's not your fault; trust me I know. You guys have had to tiptoe around LeBron ever since he denied signing the max contract, not to mention the fact that Cleveland sports fans in general constantly have to hold their collective breath given years of spurning by the Browns, Indians, and Ehlos. Nonetheless, in a toss-up series, home court advantage might just make the difference, and it's going clearly in Boston's favor.

Free Darko On Los Angeles-Utah

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Utah Jazz series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.

What's been going on with the Jazz and Lakers, respectively? It took Utah six games to knock off Houston, a streaky, rag-tag, injury-ridden team that everyone kind of wanted to play in round one. They even dropped one at home, where they're supposed to not lose, ever. The Lakers, they blew through Denver — the eighth seed no one wanted to play — like it wasn't worth noticing. Were the Nuggets remotely normal, they'd be melting down like the Mavs right about now.

Free Darko On Detroit-Orlando

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Dr. Lawyer IndianChief.

Aaaaand (wiping the sweat off my brow), my pick to win the finals win the finals is still intact.

Free Darko On San Antonio-New Orleans

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.

Somehow, the Hornets/Mavericks series told us everything about Dallas, and nothing of NOLA's team. It hammered home the Mavs' reputation for fecklessness, prompted a clubhouse implosion and pushed Avery Johnson out the door.

Free Darko On Detroit-Philadelphia

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief.

Forget the rings and the big gold hoop-and-roundball trophy. The Philadelphia 76ers have won the championship of hearts and nuts this year. In sports, the hardest thing to do is exceed expectations, and everybody on the team, from Mo Cheeks to Iguodala on down to Rodney Carney put in overtime this year to buck all the naysayers.

Free Darko On Toronto-Orlando

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Toronto Raptors-Orlando Magic series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief.

On the surface, Raptors versus Magic is limited in flash, intrigue and sex appeal, as it pits two teams that were founded less than 20 years ago against each other. Neither of the teams are rich in history, neither has ever won a championship nor put a player in the Hall of Fame (Olajuwon doesn't count!). Both teams will inevitably be stomped in the next round by the Detroit Pistons. Save for Dwight Howard's dunk contest appearance, none of these teams made headlines for anything significant this year (not even for ill business like somebody shooting a gun into the sky). Oh, and both teams started off the season looking much better but then kind of fizzled out in March and April, even in the flaccid Eastern Conference,

Free Darko On Los Angeles-Denver

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Los Angeles Lakers-Denver Nuggets series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.

Congratulations, Denver. Every novel needs a character after which no kid shall ever be named; every reality show needs an agitator. This year, you narrowly edged out Golden State for the right to represent the crazed and unruly in the all-too-regal Western Conference playoffs.

Free Darko On Cleveland-Washington

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Cleveland Cavaliers-Washington Wizards series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.

Technically, this is the third year in a row that the Wizards and Cavs have met in the first round. In 2006, LeBron reminded us that he could do no wrong, even as he tackled the playoffs for the first time. But Gilbert Arenas refused to back down, matching James's iron-wrought majesty with fiery whim. Cleveland won in 6, and James marched on, but it was this series that put Arenas on the map.

Free Darko On Utah-Houston

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the New Orleans Hornets-Dallas Mavericks series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief.

MESSAGE TO GOD: Please let the tears stop from streaming down my face. Yahwe, I can't believe you're going to put me through this again. You're going to make me watch another soggy first round Tracy McGrady playoff defeat? And with all the tension brought on by the fact that the Jazz can't win on the road, inevitably making this a seven-game series? Jesus, joy of man's desiring, why could you not have simply booted the Rockets from the playoff race altogether back in January, making way for the Golden State freakfest, or at least the Portland Trailblazers? Instead you we will endure a week and a half of a slow, slow cockpunch, leading us all to grimace in unison when McGrady finally steps off that EnergySolutions hard timber back into the locker-room, and back into the cove of shame.

Free Darko On San Antonio-Phoenix

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the San Antonio Spurs-Phoenix Suns series. Your author is Dr. LawyerIndianChief.

Rollin rollin rollin, we ain't slept in weeks. That's how the entire NBA feels about this whole Shaq-to-Phoenix thing. The universe is ill at ease. The weather patterns have shifted. A subtle tremor has rippled throughout the land, from the electricity in Steve Kerr's vibrating chair, to the tofu crumbs in Phil Jackson's beard, to the Buffalo nickels in Mark Cuban's moneybin. Since arriving in Phoenix, Shaq has been bad, he's been good, he's been fast, he's been slow, he's been important, he's been self-important, he's been a dick, he's been a comedian. And not a damn bit of his regular season hijinks matter now.

Free Darko On Boston-Atlanta

Free Darko On New Orleans-Dallas

We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the New Orleans Hornets-Dallas Mavericks series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals.

Get ready for one of those vaunted point guard battles, which is kind of like saying "prepare to see who grows lawns better," or "great moments in quarterback duels." It's true, Chris Paul and Jason Kidd will guard each other; given Paul's problems with the chunky Deron Williams, Kidd might be able to keep him from penetrating non-stop. But what's important here is that, on the whole, the struggle is largely parallel. Being a point guard involves a lot more than facing down the man in front of you.

Say Yes To Drugs

Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals.

Enjoy.

The Swept Room Of Finnicky Dollars: Role-Player Roundup

Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer Indian Chief.

Enjoy.

A Few Lingering Troubles With The Association

Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals.

Enjoy.

Acorns In The Digestive Tract

A Tale Of Two Trades

Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals.

Enjoy.

Let The Thumb Separate Them

Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Lawyer IndianChief.

Enjoy.