After little Martin Gonzalez of Staten Island unwisely tried to stretch a single into a double and shredded his meniscus and ligaments, his mother contended that anyone but her son was at fault because he hadn't been taught how to slide properly.

The suit...names as defendants the New Springville Little League; the boy's manager, Leigh Bernstein; Little League Baseball Incorporated and "John Doe," a fictitious name for the unidentified first-base coach. The amount of monetary damages sought is not specified.

Good thing that first base coach got to remain anonymous. No kid is going to listen to him when he's waving you around first if two surgeries are a possible outcome.

Little League just paid $125,000 to make this go away, money that is sure to be made up by cutting back on player luxuries like "Neosporin" and "insurance."

None of this would have happened if he had bought Tim Raines's instructional video. If you've got cocaine vials in your back pocket, head-first is the only way to slide.

Meiers Corners Mom Files Suit Against Son's Little League And Coaches [Staten Island Advance]
Staten Island Mom Settles Suit With Little League And Coaches Over Knee Injury [Staten Island Advance]

Many of his descriptive events include sexual harassment and stalking (and an identity theft scheme that allowed George Steinbrenner to get the money for A-Rod's contract, he details), but here's your money allegation:

I have known Defendant Steinbrenner since 1988 when I was a 12 year old boy. I met Steinbrenner at St. Roman Catholic church in Philadelphia, PA in back of the Alter. We exchanged telephone Numbers. Steinbrenner would send me candy bags with blow pops and tootsie rolls and gay comic books. Steinbrenner told me to call him "Daddy Steinbrenner" and not to tell anyone.

Aside from Yankees season tickets for the 2012 season, he's seeking "$100,000,000.00 million dollars," which technically is $100 million million, so $100 trillion. Scott Boras is intrigued with his negotiating tactics.

Oh, and he's also suing Isiah Thomas:

I've known Isiah Thomas since 1993 when he played basketball for the Detroit Pistons. I lived near Coatesville Pennsylvania where current NBA guard for the Detroit Pistons Richard "rip" Hamilton" is from. We all used to play basketball pickup games at CASH Highschool on Rt. 30. This is where I had my first encounter sexually with Isiah Thomas around October 1995. After a pickup game, Isiah Thomas took me in back of some porta potties and began French Kissing me. He pulled out $1,000 dollars and told me not to tell my mother and he will continue to send me money in return of him sending me love letters.

An Embarrassment of Riches [The Smoking Gun]