Sienna West is an adult actress, and like all sex workers these days, she updates the world on her, um interactions. (A Tweet the previous day ended with "G/g gang bang.") So when she had an appointment to meet Stojakovic for...something, she just had to film herself on the way.

(Note: I am definitely not the "Barry" she is speaking to in the video. The one who tells her he hopes Peja tips her.)

I have no idea if she actually met him. I have no idea what they did together, if they did indeed meet. I do know, however, what she wrote afterwards:

Sienna West [Twitter]
Professional Jump Off Makes Video Of Her Going To Meet Up With Married NBA Star...Then Puts It Up Online(Slightly NSFW) [Media Take Out]
Peja Stojakovic Gets Caught Hiring Escort Service Porn Star [Terez Owens]

I was going to ask Marty B about trying to get playing time behind Jason Witten. I was going to ask him about the Cowboys incredible collapse against Philly in Week 17. I was going to ask him if Tony Romo will always be a choker. But I didn't. Mainly I asked him about chicken and fat women. We even played a game of "Healthy Fat or Unhealthy Fat" with famous buxom women. And frankly, that sort of analysis is far more in line with my expertise.

But there's more. Oh, so much more. Some choice quotes from Marty B…

On history: "It all started with the hobos."

On working as a lifeguard: "I don't do CPR. Once I get you out of the water, you're on your own after that."

On his taste in women: "Black men… we like ASS."

On Reggie Bush's woman, Kim Kardashian: "The butt is fake… they inserted throw pillows."

On salmon: "Most black people don't even know what salmon looks like."

On his physique: "I won the azz contest… I deserve a Bowflex commercial."

On eating dog: "I had dog at a Chinese restaurant one time." (Marty B also tells the story of Filipino neighbors who once stole all the neighborhood dogs and barbecued them. THAT'S NOT VERY NEIGHBORLY.)

On Oprah: "(Oprah) got enough money where she could buy real hair… she got enough like Magic Johnson getting over AIDS. She got enough money where she could find the cure for hair growth."

On TO's lame Twitter: "TO has the lamest Twitter."

On dating: "I would go Dutch. Or French."

On dinosaurs: "WHO THE HELL KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS SOUND LIKE? NO ONE WAS AROUND! THEY MIGHTA SOUNDED LIKE DOGS."

Goddamn right, they might have. We also talk about why black people can't swim, ugly groupies, having a shark in your bedroom, Marty B's psychic abilities, and the size of the Jack in the Box drive thru menu, which really is fucking huge…

AND THAT'S JUST A SINGLE QUADRANT OF IT!

This week's podcast is available for your listening pleasure right here. You can also find the new Deadcast in the iTunes Music Store here. Marty B's manager also wanted me to plug their series of social events called The Socialite, which I almost certainly would never be allowed into. Special thanks to Liberated Syndication for hosting us. Got an email you want read over the air? Send it to me here. Now sit back, relax, and listen as Marty B puts me on hold four times to talk to Marcus Spears. SPEARS!!!!!!!

/shakes fist

Craig Childs explored the, ahem, ins and outs of Professional Bull Riding circuit for the High Country News, including this brief meditation on groupie nomenclature:

As I approach one group of riders, pen out and notebook open, the talk quickly turns to sex. A high-scoring Australian named Brendon Clark speaks loudly of "skanky bitches." Bull-riding groupies used to be dubbed "buckle bunnies," in keeping with the Western theme. Now, a shade of hip-hop culture has apparently filtered in, providing another layer for the marketing campaign.

Late one night, after a party, Childs finds himself in a hotel room, on the same floor as the bull riders.

Around midnight, the sex begins.

My bed feels like a plank as I lie on it, listening to intermittent copulation from various locations. This sport cannot be considered properly without the sex. It is one of the raw elements of bull riding, as if PBR were a straight shot to the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a direct connection to vulgar desires.

At 3:00 a.m., I lay awake wondering how they manage to keep up with so little sleep. Maybe they have been cycling from room to room, pausing for rest in between. Maybe I'm the only one who feels like I've been tumbling around in a washing machine all night.

At 6 in the morning, it starts up again.

I come slowly awake facedown on a pillow, reminding myself why I asked for this room. I'd wanted to get as close to this sport as possible, to spend as much time with the bull riders as I could. I sure as hell was not going to actually get on a bull. But this morning I feel as if I've been in the arena all night.

I roll out of bed groggy and swipe a hotel writing pad off the nightstand. With pen in hand and my forehead against the wall, I listen through to the other side and start writing. It sounds like fish slapping on pavement.

He should give these fellows a break. The bedroom is really the one arena of their lives in which they do not require the services of a clown for a safe dismount.

The Rise of the Minotaur [High Country News]

Anyway, the program was a "transgender beauty pageant," which helped serve as a vivid reminder of why America is so hated. But this woman/man/whatever claims that she once dated an NBA player before she told him of her "situation." Fun! Our heart wants to say it's Kobe, but, sadly, our head is guessing the late, great Eddie Griffin. It seems up his alley.

It appears that Jeter had a late night, three-human tryst in Miami over the weekend, but forgot to pay the ladies' parking fees.

Our spy in the lobby of the Shore Club in Miami early Sunday morning spotted "two scantily clad women screaming at the front desk because they had spent the night at Jeter's penthouse and were then charged for parking. The girls were wearing what looked like the same clothes they wore the night before - a tight cocktail dress and a mini-skirt. They were making a huge scene because they were asked to pay for parking.

"Obviously, they'd spent the night there," giggled the onlooker, who noted that one of the overnight guests was screaming into the phone, "After last night, he'd better [bleep]ing take care of it!"

Frankly, we're rather surprised Jeter doesn't have some sort of deal in place already; if the Shore Club doesn't already have a two-for-one special, they're clearly negligent.

Sleep With Jeter, Park Free [New York Post]

We had to add our spin, so, because we are a family site, we have blocked out the most offensive parts with the least sexual image imaginable. If you want to see it in its Bayless-less form, head to Fleshbot or With Leather.

Wild World Of Nude Sports Mistresses [Fleshbot]
A-Rod's Stripper Could Use Some Clothes [With Leather]

Morse is a corn-fed Catholic-school girl from Iowa who quickly took up the stripping trade after high school, sources said. For the past decade, she was licensed to work as an "entertainer" at several Vegas strip clubs, according to Nevada state records.

That's not her in the picture; that's his wife. Who is still hanging out with him. More important: Most athletes should remain safe. Which is a shame, because we really wanted to know whom Adam Kennedy was sleeping with.

Playboy Alex's Private Dancer [New York Post]
Now Batting For The Yankees, Lindsay Lohan [New York Times]

A-Rod, predictably, had no comment on the New York Post cover story, which details how he went to a strip club with the woman and then hopped in the elevator to his hotel room with her, alone. (No!) We can't say we envy Post reporter Dan Mangan's assignment of following A-Rod around all evening — most nights probably involve him watching Chris Farley movies, we suspect — but we think it's rather fitting that, finally, the world of sports has fully given itself up to the paparazzi. We still think someone's gonna figure out a way to blame this on blogs anyway.

But anyway ... A-Rod, for the first time in a while, vaguely resembles a normal, breathing human being this morning.

Busted [Ladies ...]
He's A Yankee Doodle Dandy [NY Post]
I Can Now Justify Hating A-Rod [This Suit Is Not Black]

Over the weekend, the gents at Free Darko stumbled across a Flickr stream called "Ballers w/ Randoms," a full treasure trove of NBA partying goodness, including two women kissing the hairless dome of Charlie Villanueva. Above, it's Chris Duhon right before the whole night went to hell.

All kinds of fun stuff to be checked out. Enjoy.

"Ballers w/ Randoms" [Flickr]
See You Forever [Free Darko]

Sandy Sullivan, a 65-year-old Republican, is running for Wisconsin Secretary of State, and a large part of her platform is having once been penetrated by Paul Hornung, along with other Packers. If you don't think that's a potential advantage, well, you haven't spent much time in Wisconsin.

To quote from her 2004 self-published tome, "Green Bay Love Stories and Other Affairs:" "The football players of the 1950s and '60s were every bit as 'HOT' as the men of the present day, if not more so ... Remember, the '60s was the 'dawning of the Age of Aquarius' and some women ... were thrilled to experience this brave, new freedom, and celebrate our sexuality ... and the football players loved it!"

Our favorite tidbit: Hornung actually wrote the foreword to the book, saying Sullivan was a "carefree, fun-loving girl who fit right in with me and the rest of the Pack." Yeah, we bet.

We have no idea how Mark Chumura didn't make it to his turn. Oh, yeah: Too old.

Candidate Touts Sex With Packers In Campaign [CNN]

(There was no excuse for us not getting to this yesterday. We apologize.)

We haven't checked in with the lovely ladies of On The DL for a while ... so it's probably that time. Why not? It's the Web! It's fun! It's the Wild West! Weee!!!

Anyway, they've got a smattering of fun players out drinking photos, including the one of Crazy Carl Everett above, clearly showing how the Diplodocus would reach for low-hanging leaves, had the Diplodocus actually existed.

Other happy smiling drinking players include Mike Cameron, Lyle Overbay, David Ortiz and many more. Remember, athletes: Digital cameras are your friends!

They're Back! [On The DL]

• The Red Sox felt Lowe "had a drinking issue," and Lowe's agent, Scott Boras, even suggested an intervention. When Scott Boras is a positive influence in your life, there are problems.
• Lowe spent much of last year drinking in the Dodgers clubhouse.
• Lowe has "undiagnosed ADD," which allowed the Red Sox doctors to give him Ritalin every day.

These are, of course, divorce proceedings, and Ms. Lowe notoriously hung out on the On The DL boards trolling for info, so it was unlikely this was going to avoid being messy. But yeah: How was your Monday?

Lowe's Double Bad Day [LA Observed]

Different lingerie sets are available for Japanese baseball teams Hanshin Tigers, and Rakuten Eagles. There's also a tremendously creative bra that commemorates horse racing, and I really can't say enough about the bras that are available just in time for World Cup soccer. What would it look like if they did a bra for the Lingerie Bowl?

Anyway, I can't argue with the results, and our hope our cultures can collaborate more often.

Triumph International Theme Undies [Japundit]

mlbguy06: i wanna c— in every hole you have ;-)
luv2party: oooh baby i cant wait!!! i bet ur even better than [name of player deleted]
mlbguy06: and he was good
mlbguy06: maybe you could get him over for a threesome ;-)
luv2party: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u would want a threesome with [name of player deleted]?!

The On The DL girls don't give any hints as to the identity of the player, but based on the syntax, grammar and literary style, we think it's pretty obvious that it's David Eckstein.

Computer Love [On The DL]

(Warning: Transcript is EXTREMELY ribald. Make sure your boss isn't standing behind you. Or your mom. Or anyone, really.)

Well, the lovely lasses at On The DL have dug up some more recent Mo Vaughn-loving-the-ladies photos, and we have a couple of thoughts:

1. Somehow Mo Vaughn just doesn't look right without women hanging off of him. We're not sure why.
2. We wouldn't think it possible that someone of Mo Vaughn's girth could going to double in size after retirement, but apparently it has happened. We hope this doesn't happen to David Ortiz.

Time To Party Up In Here [On The DL]

• Manchester City 3-1 Manchester United. They call this rivalry the "Manchester Derby," but all morning on Fox Soccer Channel, they were pronouncing it "darby," which planted the song "Wishing Well" by Terence Trent D'Arby firmly in my head for the rest of the day. The Blues won behind a goal by Trevor Sinclair on a sweet little spin move, and then Robbie Fowler put them away with a late goal.

And in other soccer news, earlier this week Will told you about Chelsea midfielder Joe Cole getting his ass whooped over a girl (that link isn't safe for work, but it is spectacular). Well, thanks to Sherm for passing along the following note from the popbitch newsletter:

The real story of Joe Cole's bust-up at a Page 3 girl's house? We hear he was shagging topless model Keely over the sink in her bathroom when her boyfriend walked in. And Joe didn't so much "flee" through a window as "was propelled" through it.

The bathroom sink? Strictly a class move. See, soccer can be awesome.

End Of The Bench talks to an old Pistons beat writer who dishes all kinds of good stuff. In addition to speculation about the size of John Salley's penis, he tells the story of an old "less popular" Pistons whom we desperately hope is Fennis Dembo.

The Pistons player was playing video games when he decided to listen to his phone messages. Steve couldn t believe it, as one after another, woman after woman left explicit messages for him, literally offering themselves to him on his answering machine. The Pistons player simply sat there playing his video games and told Steve not to worry about it - it happened all the time.

This is 10 times funnier when you realize the video game he was playing was probably Double Dribble.

NBA Players Cheat On Their Wives [End Of The Bench] (via True Hoop)

Two of the four players indicted in the whole Lake Minnetonka double-dong fiasco pleaded not guilty yesterday to misdemeanor charges and have "demanded a jury trial." To repeat the initial charges for each player, Culpepper is accused of "getting a 'lap dance' from an unidentified, naked female," and McKinnie, getting his money's worth, "picked up a naked woman, placed her on the bar in the lounge and commenced to perform oral sex on her ... at a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males received oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat." Yeah, beat that rap. Why deny it? Hell, pay the freaking fine, take the pats on the back from teammates and go on your way.

Moe Williams, the third Viking indicted, is in court today. Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Culpepper, McKinnie Plead Not Guilty To Charges In Boat Party [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]

(Update: Fred Smoot has now plead not guilty as well. To blatantly steal from commenter MTD: Best. Exhibit A. Ever.)

I ve been telling friends the last few weeks that every media member in New England has this story but for whatever reason, no one was running it. ... Last season, Ramirez supposedly cheated on his wife of nearly three years and feeling guilty, told her. ...

Without getting into specifics, supposedly, Mrs. Ramirez feels that her husband would be less likely to stray outside of Boston and thus, her demand.

This rumor has been going around for weeks, though we were never able to nail it down either. Though, all told, it's a little disappointing to see Manny go the Doug Christie route. But hey, there are no groupies anywhere other than Boston. So this tactic will totally work, and will be totally worth it.

Manny [Sheriff Sully]

"Never in my life, ever," said Smoot when asked if he had ever been through a season like this one. "It just didn't go like I expected."

One suspects if every season were like this one, Smoot would be too exhausted to actually play. The good news: Smoot's picking up some endorsements from the whole ordeal. We're big fans of Bubbles' testimonial.

Disrupted Season Keeps Smoot Unusually Quiet [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]
Fred Smoot's Endorsement Deal [The Mighty MJD]
The Full Report On The Sex Boat [Deadspin]