Deadspin: guitar hero

It's Bizarro Phillies Dad!

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 06:30:00 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day

•Don't cry, Canes fans, The U looks like it's back after a blowout win over Georgia Tech. Next up: ranked Virginia Tech, higher ranked Oklahoma, and the very highly ranked "avoiding off-the-field controversies." That last one may prove unwinnable.

•The umpires claim that they were verbally abused by Angels coaches after two ~~abominable~~ questionable calls Wednesday night. You know what, Angels? Nick Green's OPS is .669. He deserves five-strikes-and-you're out, to make it fair.

•Roger Federer was fined $1,500 for this little remark at the US Open: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? When I want to talk, I talk. I don't give a shit what he said." Thanks to Roger and Serena, we know know that "fuck" is precisely seven times more offensive than "shit" in tennis. I don't even want to know what "mecrob" would cost you.

•A lockout of NBA refs is "imminent and unavoidable" after talks with the league broke down yesterday. The refs turned down an extra million dollars in concessions, which leads me to believe they haven't looked at the poll on this page that says only 24% of fans care if they come back. Leverage indeed.

•A judge has ruled that Kobe Bryant's former housekeeper can sue him for being wrongfully fired, but can't claim emotional distress. Honey, you got off lucky. I don't know if you've heard about Kobe's last court case, but consider yourself lucky if the distress was just emotional.

•I hope Dash didn't think his Mets Season Of Failure gallery was finished. Elias says the Mets have three game-ending errors this season. That's three times as many as any other team.

•Finally, did you like the Commodore 64? Do you think it would have been better if only they put out a version of Guitar Hero for it? You're not alone:

Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe is Guitar Hero All-Star

Clay Travis — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:30:17 EDT

How many guesses would it take you to pin Kluwe's profession as an NFL player? A thousand? A million? Cue Twin Cities.com:

When most football players get recognized in public, it's usually for what they've done on the field. But Kluwe has gained fame — and a little playful ribbing from teammates — for his fast fingers as well.

"It's crazy," Vikings long snapper Cullen Loeffler said. "He's an NFL punter, and he almost gets more praise and credit for being such a good Guitar Hero player. When we're going out to eat, some of the fans are coming up to him and instead of them saying to him, 'Great game, you did such a great job punting,' it's more, 'Hey, you're so unbelievable playing Guitar Hero."

Here's the real question, was he on the sex boat? Because that's where those fast fingers could have made a real difference.

Punt Rocker: Vikings punter Kluwe is a Guitar Hero [Twincities.com]
Punter kicks crap out of video game [Slanch Report]

You're No Yngwie Malmsteen, Banana Hands

DAULERIO — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:30:38 EDT

Congratulations to Jake Long on agreeing to terms with the Miami Dolphins worth close to 950,158 Guitar Hero games. Don Chavez takes us back to a time when Mr. Long was just a serious-looking giant boy laying on the couch in a Michigan sweatshirt as big a picnic blanket playing GH with his buddy.

Don't you go Hollywood, Jake.

Jake Long Is The First Pick Of The Guitar Hero Draft [Don Chavez]

Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills

rickchand — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 13:05:34 EDT

Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?

At Terence Newman's house in Dallas, Romo played the new Xbox 360 game "Guitar Hero III" with actress Carmen Electra, who was playing the game online in Los Angeles. Romo was joined by what appears to be a new ... uh ... friend, actress Sophia Bush. She has starred in the TV show One Tree Hill and the 2007 movie The Hitcher. Romo struggled with the new game, which is scheduled to hit stores next week. Also on hand were Newman, running back Julius Jones, offensive tackle Marc Colombo, offensive lineman Cory Procter and safety Ken Hamlin. "I think she actually beat me," Romo said. "I'm actually a phenomenal guitar player."

Next they played the Xbox "Hold For The Extra Point."

Romo Learns That He's No Guitar Hero [Star-Telegram]
Tony Romo And Sophia Bush Now? [Larry Brown Sports]

Joel Zumaya Puts His Life In Rock's Hands

Leitch — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 11:45:52 EST

Remember in the American League Championship Series, when flamethrowing, red-eyeballed righthander Joel Zumaya was sidelined with a "right wrist and forearm inflammation?" It turned out not to matter, because the Tigers blitzed the A's in four games, but had there been some tighter games late, it could have been costly not to have Zumaya around. Zumaya's violent pitching motion had been thought the cause of the troubles, but it turns out there was a decidedly different explanation.

Club president and general manager Dave Dombrowski told WXYT-AM (1270) on Wednesday the team had concluded Zumaya's injury resulted from playing a video game, not from his powerful throwing motion. "That was probably what was taking place," Dombrowski later told the Free Press.

Zumaya, 22, was known to play "Guitar Hero," a PlayStation 2 game in which a player uses a guitar-shaped controller to simulate the performance of popular songs.

This makes perfect sense and is in no way indicative of other possible injuries. It can be awfully difficult to hit those ripping chords on "Rhythm Of The Saints," we'll give Joel that.

Guitar Video Game Hurt Zumaya's Arm [Baseball Think Factory]
Breaking: Athletes Also Like To Jack Off To Internet [Deadspin]