Young Emily has had enough of these gloryhound bleacher bums stalking bullpen catchers and pushing over old ladies just to get baseball souvenirs and she's determined to change minds ... even if that means standing up to her own father. (Call me, Hollywood Producers.) Throwing that baseball back on the field has made her a national superstar—she's supposed to be on the Today Show this morning—and an unlikely spokesperson for the outlawing of memorabilia trade shows. Even my mom has forwarded me this clip, so you know she's the real deal.

Enjoy Emily's cuteness now, America, before the fame goes to her head, she moves up to "My Super Sweet 16," and you decide you'd rather punch her in the face.

"I Dropped the Ball:" Little Emily Speaks [NBC Philadelphia]
WSH@PHI: Dad makes the catch but daughter returns it [MLB.com]

I mean, this kid is right up there with Curt Schilling, Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, David Wright, the Pantless Purdue Brigade, and all the other American legends who have thrown themselves in front of fastballs and bikini models so that the rest of us could have a better life. They don't do it for the glory people. Kaleb Eulls did it because he didn't want to see his little sister and all his friends get shot. But I'm sure the other guys had their reasons too.

Kaleb's going to play at Mississippi State next year and that is its own sort of reward, I guess. It's not something cool like free Pirates tickets or anything, but I'm sure it will have its moments.

Eulls saves 22 lives from armed student [Rivals]
Yazoo athlete wrests gun from girl on bus [The Clarion-Ledger]

* * * * *

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sorry, I didn't get to all your hate mail today, but I promise you I read every one and they are all special to me. Idiot Barking Dog will be back around 9:00 ET with the semifinals of "America's Sexiest High School Football Photos."

Charles Trimble, who happens to be a Reds fan, took his wife and 4-year-old grandson to see Cincinnati at Pittsburgh on August 23. He had seats, but scalped tickets so he could trade up to the club level—probably not that hard to do in Pittsburgh—and ended up seated near Dr. Christopher Post of Allegheny General Hospital. When Trimble turned white and slumped over, Post leapt into action, signaling Pirates staff who quickly grabbed the team's portable defibrillator. With the help of an EMT and a nurse who were also seated nearby, this rag tag group of medical heroes saved Trimble's life and got him to a hospital alive, where he made full recovery. The survival rate of someone whose heart stops outside of a hospital is less than 10%, so yeah, he's pretty freaking lucky.

The Pirates lost the game, natch.

Fan's Heart Stops At Pittsburgh Pirates Game [WTAE Pittsburgh]

Yes, the story takes place in the Edmonton, but Canadian criminals are very mean. Kitwana Jones, who played college ball at Hampton and is now a defensive end for the CFL's Eskimos, was driving to a pancake breakfast on Tuesday morning (seriously!) when he spotted an old woman screaming for help and chasing after a man carrying her purse and laptop. Then the thief knocked down an old man who tried to get in his way and Jones sprung into action. He jumped out of his car, took off after the suspect and then leveled him with a blindside tackle.

"It was mad early in the morning. I was upset. For real," Jones said. "I didn't even get a good stretch in or nothing. I had to chase this guy, and I'm mad, and I'm like ‘Why you out here trying to rob old women who are really trying to make an honest living going to work?' And he just laughed."

Jones gave him another arm to the head, and a kick to the side.

HA HA! Justice, Eskimo style! Why couldn't we have a shaky, out-of-focus video of that?

Edmonton Eskimo sacks suspected serial purse snatcher [The Globe and Mail]

Jordan Wiener, the son of the late Mitchell Wiener, tossed a five-inning no-no and struck out 14 hitters in a 10-0 mercy-rule win just more than 24 hours after sobbing at his father's highly public funeral.

"When my father was put in the hospital on (May 13), I told myself, 'Death or survival, I was going to pitch,' " Jordan said. "I knew that's what he would have wanted from me, to go out there and pitch. I was going to pitch no matter what."

Wiener's performance has to rank up there with some of the best grieving gamers of all time: Brett Favre throwing for 399 yards and four touchdown the day after he lost his old man, Matt Bryant kicking a game-winning field goal after his infant son passed away, Anthony Brock beating Tennessee for his grandmother. Sappy, yes, but it never hurts to be awed every once in a while.

Jordan's father was a Mets fan, which makes Omar Minaya's next move obvious: Let the kid throw out the first pitch at the next home game. You could use some no-hitter magic.

Wiener's son throws no-hitter to honor dad [NY Daily News]

The Boz was at Putnam City West High School in Oklahoma on Friday, where he inspired and educated students with a speech about the dangers of drunk driving. After setting those kids damn straight he rode off into the sunset on his Harley, but as an employee of the school was driving home shortly after, she noticed Bosworth performing CPR on a fallen man in a parking lot. He continued to assist until an ambulance arrived. Oddly enough, no one knows who the man was, what was wrong with him, or if he's even okay. He's like a reverse Lone Ranger!

The next days, Bosworth showed up at Oklahoma's spring game where he played flag football with other Sooner heroes. Saving kids, saving strangers, saving tackles—he does it all! Yes, the speech was part of his community service for a drunk driving arrest last month, but I wasn't going to mention that. (Oops.)

Boz gives CPR to fallen man [The Oklahoman]
'The Boz' still draws attention [Tulsa World]

As you can tell, the woman in this photo appears to be considerably younger than the 50-year-old Macdonald, which prompted some of the commenters on HH to question their hometown announcer's professionalism and, well, if he's a sexual deviant. But fear not Angels fans — Macdonald isn't getting To Catch A Predator'd anytime soon, nor will he lose his job because of this relationship. I contacted LA-writer Tom Hoffarth, author of Farther Off The Wall, and asked him about the photos. Hoffarth said that he would call Macdonald (they're friendly) to ask him about it, but he did say that it's highly unlikely that Bill was roaming around Angels Stadium picking up young girls. Sort of. This is what Macdonald told Hoffarth over the phone:

"Yes, we're dating. Yes, she looks 12, but she's 23. I'm not doing anything illegal. The Angels have no problem with it."

And there you go. What was once perceived as something embarrassing and wrong is now just your typical May-December romance between a high-profile Los Angeles sportscaster and a 23-year-old woman. The real person to feel sorry for in this situation appears to be the woman's friend, who just can't find enough people to text message in order to avoid their gross public displays of affection.

Bill Macdonald - Panther [Halos Heaven]

Garrett Monroe, you just took a shot from a real live college football player and lived to tell about it. What else could possibly happen in your all-too-brief life that would top this ultimate sports experience? How about a one-on-one audience with the Princess of Pigskin herself?

Treasure this moment, son. As we speak, thousands of college students are trying to figure out how they can throw themselves in front of a moving linebacker during their school's next televised home game. And it's all because of you and whatever genius decided to leave that hole in the stadium wall.

• Blog Hero [College Game Balls]
• First grader manages to get Erin Andrews more excited than you ever will [The Sports Hernia]

The 2008 Ball State graduate has apparently latched on full-time with KXXV in Waco, Texas (And Boom Go The Branch Davidians!) and according to his bio, "encourages residents to contact him about any story ideas."

I bet more than half of those requests will be for more Indiana Pacers coverage.

Congratulations to Brian.

Brian Collins [KXXV]
Boom Goes The Dynamite [CBS]

We learned two very important things from John Challis. Number one: "You can't let girls know that you know how to text message because they won't leave you alone." And number two: "I used to be afraid, but I'm not afraid of dying now, if that's what you want to know. Because life ain't about how many breaths you take. It's what you do with those breaths."

Freedom Teenager John Challis Dies Of Cancer [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

"[I]think Skip Bayless is the absolute biggest travesty in history. When I get to the point where I'm at that level, I will absolutely destroy him. I will tear him apart....Nobody goes backwards and holds him accountable. That guy has made a living out of being a contrarian, not by being good at what he does. And that's why I would destroy that guy on live television based on my ability to process information quicker and in a wittier way than he could."

That would be an episode of First Take that I think everyone would tolerate for more than 24 seconds.

How Justin Gimelstob = Gilbert Arenas [D.C. Bog]

This one-legged wonder featured in the photo above is 8-year-old Adam Bender, who has one leg (obviously) and, apparently, may still have a higher OPS than Richie Sexson will this year.

Losing his leg as a one-year-old to cancer, Bender's pretty much lived a normal life and plays baseball, soccer and football. He's a catcher on his baseball team, resting on his one good knee and then, as this photographic evidence proves, stands up at the plate, hits the ball, and hops down to first as quickly as possible.

At first, his parents were skeptical about his athletic desire and considered the consequences of letting their son participate in these activities. But, of course, his mom just shoved him out into the two-legged world, hoping to inject her son with a little mental toughness and character:

I thought his spirit might be crushed if he got out every time. Then I thought, who am I to micromanage his feelings? He's going to have to learn how to deal with this stuff.

Make sure you watch the video on the sidebar of the link, where you see Adam get a hit, slide into second, and get involved in a collision at home plate.

Kid Can Do It All On One Leg [Kentucky Herald-Leader]

When asked what she would do if she had the Stanley Cup for a day, Bell responded:

I would start by eating an entire box of Fruity Pebbles out of it. Then I'd take an afternoon sponge bath in it. Then I'd retro fit it with handles and make it into a Stanley Cup handbag.

Sounds reasonable to me. Other quotes:

Chris Osgood was my first crush. Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood's rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag 'Mrs. Osgood' and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I'd love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.

And her favorite hockey memory:

My parents submitted a picture of me, in my catholic school uniform, with my arms around the Stanley Cup. It ended up on the ticket for Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Semifinals against Colorado in 1996.

To eBay!

Actually, this is my favorite Stanley Cup memory, courtesy of Ms. Hayden Panettiere:

Actress Kristen Bell Pulling For Detroit [NHL.com]

"My head is spinning," John said later. "This week has just been incredible and now this. It was like someone dropped me off at the wrong party. I felt like one of the kings of the city for a few minutes with those guys. I really can't think of experiencing anything better than this, except maybe going to Rome or meeting God for the first time."

And then, to prove that he's really from Pennsylvania:

As John Challis was standing between Mr. Lemieux and Mr. Rooney, he looked at them and said, "Wow. I never thought I'd be talking with two owners of sports teams in the city." "There's only one missing," Mr. Lemieux said, referring to the Pirates. John quickly replied, "Yeah, but at least the two winners are here."

John has done radio interviews with Scott Van Pelt on ESPN and Dan Patrick on Fox, and has been invited to games by the Boston Red Sox and Florida Marlins. And Roethlisberger is going to try and get him a visit to a Steelers practice. Marlins pitcher Mark Hendrickson read his story and called the Post-Gazette to set up a meeting with John.

"I read the story [on the Internet] and it was so touching and inspiring," Mr. Hendrickson said. "The date he found out he had cancer [June 23, 2006] is my birthday. As an athlete, maybe we can do something for him and his family. But he could help a lot of people, too, with his attitude. We have a lot of young guys on our team who are wide-eyed. His story and being around him could be humbling and good for them."

Penguins Honor Beaver County Teenager With Cancer [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
HS Baseball Cancer Battler Meets Mario And Big Ben [Sports by Brooks]
Perfect Game [Deadspin]

Of course, a movie Wonder Woman has already been cast recently, but that doesn't leave Gisele out of the mix. Megan Gale will play WW in an upcoming Justice League of America movie, which is a whole separate deal. Here she is in a photo that is NSFW, comic book fans.

Wonder Woman Gisele Bundchen [Boston Globe]

Yeah, Challis' story is one of courage, sadness, inspiration, hope, all of that. But to fully wrap your mind around it, you're just going to have to read it for yourself. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is following his story, and ran this amazing piece by Mike White on Sunday. If you do nothing else today, please take a look. This is one amazing kid.

All of Aliquippa's baseball players wear John's jersey number "11" on their hats. At the walk-a-thon, Aliquippa star athlete Jonathan Baldwin, a Pitt football recruit, presented him with a ball signed by Pitt players. After the walk, John addressed the crowd. "He spoke from his heart," Mr. Wetzel, the coach, said. "He said, 'I've got two options. I know I'm going to die, so I can either sit at home and feel sorry, or I could spread my message to everybody to live life to the fullest and help those in need.' After hearing that, I don't know if there were many people not crying."

His story touched me, and maybe it will do the same for you. But I'm not going to bore you further with my take on this; better that you hear it from him.

"I used to be afraid, but I'm not afraid of dying now, if that's what you want to know," he said. "Because life ain't about how many breaths you take. It's what you do with those breaths."

Teen Is Running Out Of Innings, But The Game Isn't Over [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Cancer-Stricken Baseball Player Gets One Last Hit [SportsbyBrooks]

Davis was at his house in Arizona, and he saw across the street — and I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me — a horse named Ranger waist deep in mud.

Davis sprung into action, throwing a rope around the horse, and pulling the big filthy lug out of the sinkhole. And then, because he's a really nice guy (and because no one likes a dirty horse), Davis got out his hose and gave Ranger a bath.

He downplayed his heroic act, saying, "I was just doing what anybody else would have done." And thank goodness he did, it was hard enough to find a divine Cheeto that looked like Barbaro. Finding one to capture the unique features of Ranger would've been too much to ask.

No horsing around: Davis comes to the rescue [CowboysPlus]