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New York, 11:53 PM
Fri Nov 20
21 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #horseracing more →

    In Which A Man Sends Death Threats To A Horse

    Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen

    Paul Lo Duca Owes A Horse Pimp Money

    Um, No.

    MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow

    Horse Racing At The Airport? Don't Say Neigh Just Yet

    I Guess They Do Shoot Horses, Don't They?

    So Much For That Guarantee

    And Now, My Michael Jordan Impression

    Yes, That Is A Horse In Vogue
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of UkraineNotWeak UkraineNotWeak
    11/01/09

    In reply to In Which A Man Sends Death Threats To A Horse
    Johnny Fontane is dead. So he's not going to get that movie no matter what. #horseracing
     Reply
    UkraineNotWeak was starred UkraineNotWeak was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    11/01/09

    In reply to In Which A Man Sends Death Threats To A Horse
    It would behoove the man to apologize personally to the horse. #horseracing
     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of Chris Hanson's Axe Chris Hanson's Axe
    10/16/09

    In reply to Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
    Can't be any worse than this: #littlepeople
     Reply
    Chris Hanson's Axe was starred Chris Hanson's Axe was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    10/15/09

    In reply to Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
    This race is known as the "Peter Allen Memorial Stakes." #littlepeople
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    10/15/09

    In reply to Little People Racing As Deserving An Olympic Sport As I've Seen
    The winning horse gets a job as Danny DeVito's personal assistant. #littlepeople
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    10/11/09

    In reply to Um, No.
    Their photo Mondattabase must have gotten corrupted.
     Reply
    Edited by Steve U at 10/11/09 12:19 PM Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of Tony Reali's Winning Smile Tony Reali's Winning Smile
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    I bet Tebow turns into a sweet Corvette and rides off into the sunset every night after practice.
     Reply
    dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac promoted this comment Tony Reali's Winning Smile was starred Tony Reali's Winning Smile was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    Do we ever try to DUAN it up around here anymore? Here goes: I work for the Fire Department, and yesterday I went into a trailer where a woman had been sitting dead for 5 days in 90 degree heat. Had to put Vicks under my nose like in Silence of the Lambs. Most surreal experience of my life.
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    07/31/09

    @ScientificMapp: I've been waiting for the old DUAN.

    Do you remember that girl I was telling you about last week? Well, she was supposed to cook me dinner last night, but I went to her place and found her watching porn. I got my hopes up because I thought she was setting the mood. But it wasn’t just porn, she was watching herself get fucked by some guy in a Freddy Krueger costume. Actually, it wasn’t a costume as much as it was the mask, hat, and glove. He would occasionally pull out and stick those freaky fingers in her. The only time I heard her moan like that was when I snuck into her apartment, sat outside her bedroom, and listened to her bang her neighbor (who, ironically, is Jon Koncack).

    But that was supposed to be my night with her. And the worst part was that she hadn’t even started cooking yet. So I helped her make dinner. First, she said she had to clean up, so she sent me to the store to pick up the food. $100 and an hour later, I got back to her place. It was still pretty messy. She had mostly cleaned off the coffee table with the exception of wiping the sugar off but fell asleep.

    OH WHO AM I KIDDING!? She did like four lines of coke and passed out with 3 fingers in her ass.

    But I think she really enjoys being around me. I mean, last night, after I cleaned her off, she said "I’m sorry I threw up on you, Joe." That was the first time she didn’t call me Jim! And Joe is closer to John than Jim is, so I think she’s really coming around.

    People think I’m crazy for liking a girl like this, but if she can fix the whoreishness, substance abuse, and maybe wake up before noon on most days, I think she’d be an excellent wife and mother. Does anyone else understand?

    Anyway, if you guys have any tips, feel free to pass them along. Thanks.
     Reply
    J-No promoted this comment DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    08/01/09

    @DirkToberFest: This sounds like the worst night ever. I just hope you are making this up.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of Slothrop Slothrop
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    You had me until Journey. Worst popular band ever or worstest popular band ever?
     Reply
    Slothrop was starred Slothrop was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    I think Jezebel is funny. Hehehe, Moe is their leader.
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    This is going to be awesome. I am going to be waiting around all day for my new dishwasher to arrive. Perfect way to be entertained during a wasted day. What time is Moe due to show up?
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of BigTenObsession BigTenObsession
    07/31/09

    @J-No:

    AJ wanted her to start at 10am, so he told her 1pm.
     Reply
    J-No promoted this comment BigTenObsession was starred BigTenObsession was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    07/31/09

    @BigTenObsession:Strike that, reverse it.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of Matt Sussman Matt Sussman
    07/31/09

    In reply to MORE BREAKING: Blogger Has Crush On Tim Tebow
    All this superficial Tim Tebow is going to result in him being exploited, and we're all going to feel really bad about it once Jason Whitlock scolds us through print.
     Reply
    Matt Sussman was starred Matt Sussman was unstarred
    Image of Blast it, Biggs Blast it, Biggs
    06/18/09

    In reply to I Guess They Do Shoot Horses, Don't They?
    You gotta remember to put one in his BRAIN. Your first shot puts him down, then you put one in his BRAIN. Then he's dead. Then we go home.
     Reply
    Blast it, Biggs was starred Blast it, Biggs was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    06/18/09

    @Blast it, Biggs: I can't die here on the track, like a dumb animal!
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of chilltown chilltown
    06/18/09

    In reply to I Guess They Do Shoot Horses, Don't They?
    with an injection first of a sedative and then an injection of barbiturates - usually, sodium pentobarbital - to induce cardiac arrest.


    The Texas Department of Corrections thinks you need another drug or two do to it right.

     Reply
    chilltown was starred chilltown was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    06/18/09

    In reply to I Guess They Do Shoot Horses, Don't They?
    Apparently they also euthanize gymnasts


    [www.theonion.com]

     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
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