His last show featured Dan Marino, John Elway, Curt Schilling, Mark Cuban, Jerry Jones and Joe Namath, making it quite possibly the whitest hour of television this side of a Lawrence Welk rerun. On Tuesday, we'll get Floyd Mayweather, Michael Strahan, Pedro Martinez, Brian Westbrook and Brian Urlacher. This lineup threatens to be mildly entertaining for his viewership, which I believe consists entirely of people waiting for Katie Morgan's Sex Quiz to come on.

And how about this: You lucky Pierres in the New York area can watch Joe Buck Live live!

As of Monday, Nov. 30th we have tickets to the show, feel free to pass this invitation along.

JOE BUCK LIVE
TAPING TUESDAY, DEC. 8th - 9:30PM

at NYU'S SKIRBALL CENTER
566 LaGuardia Place, NYC

BE PART OF OUR EXCLUSIVE AUDIENCE!

Joe Buck Live extends its run of live shows with World Champion Boxer Floyd Mayweather, retired NFL star and actor Michael Strahan, pitcher Pedro Martinez, and current NFL Players, Brian Westbrook and Brian Urlacher. Taping in front of our live studio audience in New York City, this third, hour-long edition of the Joe Buck Live show will include live interviews, panel discussions and pre-recorded features. Don't miss another engaging and entertaining evening of live TV.

For more information about Joe Buck Live go to www.hbo.com/joebucklive/

To attend this exclusive JOE BUCK LIVE show on Tuesday, December 8th, YOU MUST BE AVAILABLE BETWEEN 8:30PM and 11:30PM. It will air on HBO simultaneously with repeat broadcasts at later dates. YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER TO ATTEND THE SHOW AND YOU MUST LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA(NY, NJ, CT) TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR TICKETS OR BE IN NYC DURING THE FILMING WEEK.

TICKETS ARE COMPLIMENTARY.

If you are interested in being part of the JOE BUCK LIVE SHOW, please, email us at joebucklive@theblacklistnyc.com with the following information in both the subject line and body of your email or go to www.theblacklistnyc.com/joebucklive for more info:

1. Your full name
2. Your email address
One which will not put our reply to you in your trash folder and one which you check frequently.
PLEASE ALWAYS CHECK YOUR TRASH FOLDER JUST IN CASE!
3. Your phone number(s)
4. Your age range (35-40, 18-25, 50-55 etc.)
5. Number of tickets — 2 tickets is the maximum number we can allow per request.
SINCE THIS IS A LIVE EVENT WE EXPECT THAT IF YOU ASK FOR TICKETS YOU WILL BE USING THEM. Thanks.
6. Do you consider yourself a big sports fan — which sports (you can put this in the body of the email)

Example: Tina Hays /haystina@sportsworld.com /(212) 555-1212 /25-30/2 tickets/big fan – football & basketball

This information is NOT shared or used for any other purposes other than to accommodate your ticket requests. Our Privacy Policy is available at www.theblacklistnyc.com/privacy.html

We will contact you via email with a detailed ticket confirmation if there are tickets available. You should hear from us within a few days of your request but at latest by 5PM on MONDAY DEC. 7th, 2009. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL US DUPLICATE REQUESTS, IT WON'T HELP YOU GET TICKETS.

Come join us for an insightful look into the sports world from JOE BUCK and the award-winning team at HBO SPORTS.
EMAIL ~ joebucklive@theblacklistnyc.com

We all remember what happened last time. Joe Buck has responded by putting together the dullest and most white-bread hour of sports-related programming this side of the Bassmaster Classic. The guests: Dan Marino, John Elway, Curt Schilling, Mark Cuban, Jerry Jones and Namath, who threatens to be mildly interesting but who will probably wind up talking earnestly about sobriety. Role models! Life lessons! White people! This is basically Joe Buck's wet dream of a show.

And get this: You can watch it live!

HBO's JOE BUCK LIVE RETURNS WITH A NEW EDITION

FILMING TUESDAY SEPT. 22nd

at the Equitable Center Theater (7th Ave. at 51st Street)

BE PART OF OUR EXCLUSIVE AUDIENCE!

The second edition of Joe Buck Live features NFL Greats Joe Namath, Dan Marino and John Elway, Pitching Star Curt Schilling as well as Mark Cuban, Owner of the Dallas Mavericks and Jerry Jones, Owner of The Dallas Cowboys. All our guests are scheduled to appear live on the stage of the Equitable Center with Joe Buck. Filming in front of our live studio audience in New York City, this new hour-long edition of the Joe Buck Live show will include live interviews, panel discussions and pre-recorded features. You won't want to miss what promises to be an engaging, informative and entertaining evening of TV.

To attend this exclusive JOE BUCK LIVE show on TUESDAY, SEPT. 22nd, YOU MUST BE AVAILABLE BETWEEN 8:30PM and 11:30PM. It will air on HBO simultaneously with repeat broadcasts at later dates. RSVP quickly as there are limited tickets for this event. YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER TO ATTEND THE SHOW AND YOU MUST LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR TICKETS OR BE IN NYC DURING THE TAPING WEEK. TICKETS ARE COMPLIMENTARY.

If you are interested in being part of the JOE BUCK LIVE SHOW, please email us at joebucklive@broadwayvideo.com with the following information in both the subject line and body of your email:

1. Your full name
2. Your email addressOne which will not put our reply to you in your trash
folder and one which you check frequently.
PLEASE ALWAYS CHECK YOUR TRASH FOLDER JUST IN CASE!3. Your phone number(s)
4. Your age range (35-40, 18-25, 50-55 etc.)
5. Number of tickets — 2 tickets is the maximum number we can allow per
request. SINCE THIS IS A LIVE EVENT WE EXPECT THAT IF YOU ASK FOR TICKETS
YOU WILL BE USING THEM. Thanks.6. Do you consider yourself a big sports fan
— which sports (you can put this inthe body of the email)

Example: Tina Hays /haystina@sportsworld.com /(212) 555-1212 /25-30/2 tickets/big fan – football & basketball

We will contact you via email with a detailed ticket confirmation if there are tickets available. You should hear from us within a few days of your request but at latest by FRIDAY SEPT. 18th, 2009. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL US DUPLICATE REQUESTS, THIS IS CONFUSING FOR US AND WON'T HELP YOU GET TICKETS.

Come join us for an insightful look into the sports world from JOE BUCK and the award-winning team at HBO SPORTS.
EMAIL ~ joebucklive@broadwayvideo.com

Don't miss it! Joe Buck's back on cable, and for one night next week, we'll all be lucky Pierres!

EARLIER: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show

Wayne Ellington was drafted late in the first round by the Timberwolves — along with every other player in the NBA Draft — but most will remember his historic night for the time they met his girlfriend. She goes to Drexel and wanted him to stay local, but he's blessed to be going to Minnesota. Tell that to Ricky Rubio.

Joe Morgan decides to tell a story on Sunday Night Baseball. (Stop me if you've heard this before. OK, I'll continue anyway.) It was an utterly harmless story, until it proved to be an "utter crock." (Stop me if you've heard this before. OK, I'll stop.)

Take it away, Dash: "Let's say you love the Chicago Bears. (Relax....it's just an example.) And let's say you don't mind having a few dozen tattoos on your body. That doesn't logically follow that you need 92 Bears autographs permanently inked in your skin."

Simona Halep decides to get a breast reduction — but that was before Alena Schurkova, a professional volleyball player with 32Es, weighed in. "If she does this it sends out the message that girls with big boobs can't play sports and that is just wrong," Schurkova said. Halep hasn't yet reconsidered.

Fact: Chris Forcier is leaving UCLA. Fact: He needs a better press team than his family. Fact: Writing "fact" lots of times in a press release does not strengthen your argument.

Tucker Max and an unnamed ESPN columnist walk into a bar... no, there's no punch line.

Artie Lange was who we thought he was! A much more thoughtful, rational expression of the same sentiment, at least.

"YouTube is filled with grainy cellphone videos of drunken bleacher brawls, but few capture the drama, action, suspense, and heartbreaking childhood trauma of this donnybrook from the Yankees-Marlins series. It's like the Citizen Kane of stadium fan fight clips." Getcher popcorn ready.

What do you do when you win the Stanley Cup and your team's owner is Mario Lemieux? You go to Sewickley and swim with the Cup, natch.

You already know what happened, but it's worth another watch, if only to make Lucky Pierre a permanent phrase in the cultural zeitgeist.

It's easy to see why they would decide to go this route after Artie Lange spooked HBO's execs (and Joe Buck) enough that they ended up apologizing to America for the lewdness. The next show should be scheduled for around September but apparently it'll be a lot more tamer. No more whiskey sour sketches? No more telescope gags? Will Joe Buck scold his guests if they accidentally utter a "goddamn" while they're live? They're tearing the soul out of the show!

More on this once HBO flacks wake up on the West Coast....

With this new theme Buck can go back to being a "legend in the making" as St. Louis magazine called him:

It's amazing that it was just two years ago, when Fox was supposed to the lucky recipient of the more unbuttoned Joe Buck, that Emeritus questioned if he was "quite limber enough to pull off a late-night gig." Well, now we know. Of course, if your opinion of Joe Buck pre-Lange jiz-chesting was not favorable, you were probably just as annoyed with Buck's casual, let's-drink-tallboys-in-the-back-of-a-taxi efforts for Bud TV. And, yes, I might have accidentally smoked PCP-laced weed out of a gravity bong this morning, but I don't think these interview segements were actually that bad.

Buck's performance to the live studio audience that night off-camera was telling: he was nervous. He openly solicited (begged even) the audience to give him a huge round of applause once the cameras started rolling. Sure, he was pandering but he did (truthfully) hint that it might be the part of the show where the audience was on his side. I'm sure he thought he would be able to pep up the Favre interview with some of his bone-dryness but it's a proven fact that the only way to make Brett Favre amusing is to have him tackled on the couch by a headphone-wearing mongoloid.

It's also inaccurate to say those in attendance were mortified by what took place on stage. There were plenty of laughs both at Buck's expense and those rooting for him to fight back against the fat bully in the work boots. He succeeded a couple of times, but failed spectacularly waaaay too much. He was, as Lange glibly stated, completely out of his league.

Whatever incarnation of "Joe Buck Live" we get three months from now, you get the sense that Buck's vision is more similar to that dopey show shot in the back of the taxi then the out-of-control disaster from Tuesday night. But his best move right now might be to return to smug self-deprecation, cede a little control and then never, ever apologize for what happens when it's over.

• Mike Francesa, WFAN: This was the worst show I had ever seen until Artie Lange showed up. And then it became, you know, a different kind of show, and one I'm not condoning here because I'm not condoning him coming in there and just firebombing the entire festivities, which is what he did, but what would you expect? You invited Artie Lange here, what would you expect? You got what you expected. I don't know what you expected to get from him, sitting there.... Then I gotta sit through Ochocinco and Michael Irvin, who I wouldn't watch, if they wanted to show up in my living room, I wouldn't let them in. I mean, Ochocinco? Give me a break. How can you actually take a guy seriously who actually changes his name to Ochocinco?... I'm not familiar with the other guy, I guess he's a comic, I'm not familiar with him. Is that Amy Sedaris his sister, brother or something, are they related? I know who she is, I don't know who he is.

• Richard Deitsch, SI.com: On Tuesday's Stern show, Lange claimed that Greenburg told him if Rudd and Sudeikis were boring, he should "go nuts." He then called Greenburg a series of unpublishable names.

Buck said he had not met Lange prior to a quick meeting in the green room ("Don't suck," Buck said to his guests prior to heading on stage for the start of the show.) "We didn't book him to be crude or walk and cross some line," Buck said. "We booked him because he's a funny guy and somebody who loves sports. It's up to any guest on a live show to take it where they want to take it. He decided to take it where he took it."

• Josh Levin, Slate: Despite the ceaseless wretchedness of Joe Buck Live, the show's namesake did win my sympathy in the end. During the final segment-a comedy panel featuring Paul Rudd, Artie Lange, and Jason Sudeikis-Lange commenced to roast Buck, slowly and painfully, over an open flame. (You can watch the even cruder, online-only aftershow here.) While a skilled pro might have out-taunted a guest who accused him of surfing the Web site "suckingcock dot com," Buck's rejoinders-"I just pulled a hamstring looking for a segue"-made him come off like a scared first-grader talking back to a bully. Buck wasn't David Letterman taming Joaquin Phoenix; he was Magic Johnson on The Magic Hour getting taunted by Howard Stern (incidentally, Lange's boss). "Sorry to ruin your fuckin' great show," Lange said before the credits rolled. "I appreciate the apology, because you have," Buck said, pretending to be joking.

•Danny Groner, Huffington Post: You'll notice how little Buck tries to diffuse the situation once it erupts. He's akin to a passer by who spots a raging fire and rather than try to extinguish it, or to alert the authorities to the fire, he glorifies it as a fiasco worth admiration. In that way, Buck shirks his responsibility as the host in charge of keeping order and fair play. He applauds what's taking place on the stage before him, keenly aware that this video will generate buzz for him in the days, weeks and even months to come.

• Richard Sandomir, New York Times: The bookend to the show was a panel show featuring Lange, the actor Paul Rudd, and Jason Sudeikis of "Saturday Night Live." The latter two need not have shown up for this as was Lange staging a hostile takeover. His scatological, homophobic, insult act was delivered with a sort of blithe and gleeful explosiveness that threw Buck a bit. This 10-minute trap on the stage at the Equitable Center's auditorium in Midtown Manhattan was unlike any live TV Buck had ever practiced with Tim McCarver or Troy Aikman.... Lange's shtick, which will be dissected with Stern on Tuesday morning, will be compared - for the attention it has created - to last year's confrontation over blogging on "Costas Now" between the writer Buzz Bissinger and Will Leitch, then of Deadspin. Bissinger kept erupting, creating a fascinating tableau of righteous anger. But the Lange incident - which benefited from the artistic freedom that HBO provides - was not about any particular issue; it was about Lange's decision that the stage was his to seize. Buck said: "It's an unfortunate thing that happened. But it's live. If it were taped, nobody would have seen it."

• Ty Hildenbrandt, SI.com: Dan's right, this was the best possible thing that could've happened to Joe Buck Live. You know, it's supposed to show the whole other side of Joe Buck that we had not previously known. The witty and charming side that laughs with Randy Moss' end-zone celebrations, not the side that scoffs at them. So this was perfect, and it had the shock value of Russell Brand hosting the MTV Video Music Awards. Mark this down as the first and last time that Joe Buck Live will be considered "water-cooler discussion."

But tell us how you really think, everyone!

If you haven't seen the video already, Artie, an old Howard Stern yuk-slinger, went on Buck's new HBO show and worked a few light shades of blue. He made a crack about Tony Romo rhyming with "homo," another about Romo dating a fat chick. He told a relatively sweet story about Buck's father, Jack Buck, who in Lange's fond recollection "wasn't politically correct" or "a pussy." He made like he was going to smoke a cigarette. When Buck said cheekily that his favorite web site is TMZ.com, Lange interrupted: "What's your second favorite site, suckingcock.com?"

In short, Artie Lange did exactly what you invite Artie Lange on stage to do.

Nonetheless, the response has been universal. "Comedian Lange crosses the line on 'Joe Buck Live'," huffed USA Today. The New York Times was already comparing it to the Bissinger meltdown on Costas Now.

Buck himself condemned Lange's performance:

Buck told USA TODAY he couldn't wait for the Lange segment to end. "I thought that spending time on a treadmill felt long. That was like 8 or 9 minutes that turned into an eternity. You know, it's cable, you can get away with it. It's not my style. But, you do one show and you learn and you move on."

Buck told reporters he thought Lange had an "agenda" when he came on stage to discuss the intersection of sports and celebrity. He was sorry Lange took time away from actors Paul Rudd and Jason Sudeikis of SNL. But Buck said there was little he could do to control the invited guest without "kicking him off the set" or hitting a "trap door."

"It's a thought. A gigantic hook," said Buck.

[..]

Controversy's not a bad thing in the TV business, especially when networks are trying to get viewers to try out new shows. Clips of Lange's performance on Joe Buck Live were already ping-ponging around YouTube last night.

"Do I think it went too far? Yes," said Buck. "Will he be back? If it's up to me, no. But again it's live TV man."

I was in the studio last night, and it was a Joe Buck kind of crowd. Brett Favre, Buck's first guest, now notable for not being notable at all, said the word "shit," and people at first tittered, then, amazingly, broke into applause, as if to forgive the transgression. This is important, because I doubt very seriously that Buck was shocked by anything Lange said. He was merely pretending to be offended on behalf of this sort of audience.

And that's essentially the subtext of Joe Buck Live, anyway. This is a crazy, mixed-up world, the show seems to say, and through it travels Joe Buck, a little bewildered but weathering it all with plain, homespun values and bone-dry wit. There was the ceremonial thrashing of that perennial straw man, "the media." There was an interview with Chad Johnson, who looked like he'd rather be anywhere else, in which Buck tried in vain to get the wide receiver to admit he could sometimes be an ass, but in which Buck also noted, approvingly, that Johnson doesn't drink. And there was a joke, in a taped segment with the aggressively wholesome David Wright, that turned on the wildly absurd notion that Buck might order a whiskey sour in a restaurant. A whiskey sour!

Lange was the ideal foil to all this, and I suspect that's why he — along with Paul Rudd and Jason Sudeikis — was invited onto the show. Buck was outsourcing the funny. And now Buck professes himself to be shocked, shocked!, that an old Howard Stern sidekick might waddle onto an HBO set and go off-color. This is just too perfect. One show in, Joe Buck, guardian of middle-American virtue, has already found something about which to moralize: His own goddamn show.

Comedian Steals Spotlight on Buck's Show [New York Times]
Comedian Lange crosses the line on 'Joe Buck Live' [USA Today]

A friend passed along the invitation below, which promises "an engaging, informative and entertaining evening." The taping is on Monday — send in an e-mail now and you just might win the privilege of watching Joe Buck do whatever it is Joe Buck is going to do, live.

Oh, and get this: The first show will have something to do with sports and celebrity and the 24-hour news cycle and — wait for it — bloggers. This should not be confused with the last time a boyish and supremely self-satisfied sports-teevee celebrity went on HBO to yammer about bloggers. This time, there will be sketch comedy.

The full invite:

HBO's JOE BUCK LIVE

~ A New Sports Show With A Fresh Spin ~

Topic of the show:

"Celebrities in Sports – Fans blur the line between celebrities and atheletes"

FILMING MONDAY JUNE 15th at the Equitable Center Theater
(7th Ave. at 51st Street)

SEE IT LIVE!

The first edition of Joe Buck Live focuses on "Sports and Celebrity." Combine the 24-hour news cycle with internet reporting, bloggers, gossip columns, sports talk radio, commercial endorsements and the glare of continuous television coverage, and today's superstar athlete is constantly in play.

Utilizing a live studio audience in New York City, the hour-long show will include live interviews, panel discussions, pre-recorded features and a few surprises. We are keeping the great guests a secret and waiting for the big reveal on June 15th when Joe Buck Live will be filmed in front of our exclusive audience. You won't want to miss what promises to be an engaging, informative and entertaining evening of TV.

To attend this exclusive JOE BUCK LIVE show on MONDAY, JUNE 15th YOU MUST BE AVAILABLE BETWEEN 7:30PM and 10:30PM. It will be shown live on HBO simultaneously with repeat broadcasts at later dates. RSVP quickly as there are limited tickets for this event. YOU MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER TO ATTEND THE SHOW AND YOU MUST LIVE IN THE NEW YORK CITY AREA TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR TICKETS OR BE IN NYC DURING THE TAPING WEEK. TICKETS ARE COMPLIMENTARY.

If you are interested in being part of the JOE BUCK LIVE SHOW, please email us at joebucklive@broadwayvideo.com with the following information in both the subject line and body of your email:

1. Your full name
2. Your email address (one which will not put our reply to you in your garbage folder and one which you check frequently.)
PLEASE ALWAYS CHECK YOUR GARBAGE FOLDER JUST IN CASE!
3. Your phone number(s)
4. Your age range (35-40, 18-25, 50-55 etc.)
5. 2 tickets is the maximum number we can allow per request.
(SINCE THIS IS A LIVE EVENT WE EXPECT THAT IF YOU ASK FOR TICKETS YOU WILL BE USING THEM. Thanks)
6. Do you consider yourself a big sports fan — which sports (you can put this in the body of the email)

Example: Tiger Woods/phenomg@sportsworld.com /(212) 555-1212 /25-30/2 tickets/big fan – football & basketball

If you know of a group (over 10 tickets) interested in attending the show put "GROUP" in the Subject line of your email and we will respond quickly if tickets are available.

We will contact you via email with a detailed ticket confirmation if there are tickets available. You should hear from us within a few days of your request but at latest by THURSDAY June 11th, 2009. PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL US DUPLICATE REQUESTS, THIS IS CONFUSING FOR US AND WON'T HELP YOU GET TICKETS.

PLEASE NOTE, AS THIS IS A LIVE EVENT, DON'T ASK FOR TICKETS TO THE SHOW IF YOU DON'T INTEND TO USE THEM. YOU WILL BE DEPRIVING OTHER FANS OF THE ABILITY TO BE PART OF THIS EXCITING NIGHT WITH JOE BUCK AND HIS GUESTS. We will be forced to remove you from our list of free television events if you are confirmed for tickets and do not attend.
Thanks for understanding.

Come join us for an insightful and challenging look into Celebrities in Sports from JOE BUCK and the award-winning team at HBO SPORTS.

EMAIL ~ joebucklive@broadwayvideo.com

*******

Don't forget this Saturday's Deadspin meetup. Upon arriving, you will be expected to whisper the secret password in AJ's ear. The password is "poon shovel." The details, once again:

-Deadspin Subway Series Bar Crawl, Saturday 6/13 from 3:30-8:30
-Start out at Mercury Bar on 34th and 3rd Ave from 3:30-5.
-Then over to Tonic (3rd and 29th) from 5-6:30.
-Finally, end the night at Sidebar (15th and Irving) from 6:30-8:30.
-Revelers can come and go as they wish, no need to show up exactly at 3:30 and stay the whole time.
-Corona has been nice enough to sponsor the meet up, meaning there will be FREE Corona all night for our readers.
-Obviously since it's a Subway Series Meet Up, team colors are suggested but not required.

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Now, some Stones:

It seems that the network fancies their new host as a bit of court jester and now that he's finally made it to pay cable, Joe "Dice" Buck is ready to bust loose. The network has hired Peter Mehlman (former executive producer for Seinfeld) and Jon Glaser (former writer for Conan O'Brien) to write and produce comedy sketches that will star Buck and wrap around his interviews. Also, the interviews will take place in front of a live audience—filled with celebrities!—that Buck will interact with in order to "showcase his wit."

"The hidden secret of Joe Buck, for those of us who have been around him and seen him perform at the Sports Emmys every year, is that he has a very dry and unique wit," said HBO Sports President Ross Greenburg. "That is something that the American public hasn't seen yet. They'll be surprised and amused."

Gosh, that is surprising (and amusing!) If only the American public had some sort of access to Joe Buck where they could hear his voice and be entertained by it the way industry executives and backstage pass holders have been for so long. I guess he just couldn't find a spare moment to squeeze his dry wit into the 700,000 hours of live television that Joe Buck has personally narrated for an entire nation in the last 15 years. Thank you, HBO, for finally giving the man a forum.

Oh, wait ... I think maybe I have seen that sense of humor before.

HBO will showcase Buck's wit in new show [Sports Business Journal]