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New York, 11:33 AM
Tue Nov 10
14 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #johnelway more →

    Terrorism, As Forewarned By John Elway

    New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.

    Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!

    49ers Bid A High-Pitched, Frenetic Adieu To Joe Starkey

    Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette

    John Elway Is Always Watching You, Jay Cutler

    John Elway Should Be Free To Drink To His Heart's Content

    Elsewhere...
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Karlifornia Karlifornia
    10/08/09

    In reply to Terrorism, As Forewarned By John Elway
    I was going to comment earlier, but I went to the liquor store for some beer, and...get this..the first person I encounter after watching this video....was a terrorist! Here's what happened... I went into the liquor store, and the guy behind the counter immediately starting giving off red flags:

    Surveillance- Upon entry, I noticed a system of cameras that covered every inch of the store. Whatcha lookin' for?!?

    Elicitation- As soon as I passed the counter, he asked me "Is there anything I can help you find?". Yeah. How about..72 virgins, MAHMOUD!?!

    Tests of Security- After I walked in, he had this troubled look on his face. He went to the front of the store, and waved his hand in front of the door a few times. Making sure there aren't any BOMB DETECTORS? HUH?

    Funding- Almost constantly, suspicious persons kept coming in and discreetly handing him stacks of cash and coins. Saving up for SUICIDE FLIGHT SCHOOL, PERHAPS!?!?

    Acquiring Supplies- Twice during the span of my visit, I witnessed massive trucks back up into the store, and uniformed men bringing in handtrucks filled with unidentifiable supplies. Snack Chips? How about MICROCHIPS..for detonating WMD's!

    Impersonation- I approached the counter to pay for my beer. He said "Hello, how are you?" in perfect English. Yeah, your amateur hour attempt at the performing arts might fool the average World Trade Wade, but I wasn't born yesterday, pal!

    I didn't even give him to chance to get to the rehearsal and deployment, as I alerted the authorities, and by now he should be in a remote torture chamber. You're welcome, Deadspin....

    ...You're welcome.......America
     Reply
    Edited by Karlifornia at 10/08/09 1:38 AM Karlifornia was starred Karlifornia was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    10/08/09

    @Karlifornia: +1. Terrific.
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of FEAST FEAST
    10/08/09

    @Karlifornia: +vigilance
     Reply
    FEAST was starred FEAST was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    10/08/09

    @Karlifornia: Inspired stuff.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    08/28/09

    In reply to New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.
    Yup, he'll fit in just fine as an Eagles QB.

    Why, did half of his passes hit the ground 10 feet in front of the intended receiver?
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos
    08/28/09

    In reply to New Jersey Golf Course Is A Dump. Literally.
    Yes. Everyone hates Liberty National. If, by "everyone", you mean the coddled pros who didn't get to practice much before having to tee it up. Poor them and their million dollar paychecks.
    /the course gets rave reviews
     Reply
    David Hume promoted this comment ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos was starred ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    08/28/09

    @ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: @ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: Yep. What I've been reading, is that it's basically different than a typical PGA track, not necessarily worse and that's throwing some dudes off. Though, it does seem legit to criticize the fact that wild-ass greens and teeny fairways are OK by themselves, but a little clown's mouth-y when added to the typical high winds there.
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of NordoftheBlings NordoftheBlings
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    "He's not even planning to drop out of Arizona State."


    Wow, he is really fucked up. You try & raise them well... Then they drop football, but choose to stay at ASU for the academia? John blames the boy's mother.

     Reply
    NordoftheBlings was starred NordoftheBlings was unstarred
    Image of Rick_James_Crack_Pipe Rick_James_Crack_Pipe
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    Somewhere Cris Simms is smiling and whispering to himself:


    "Well played, sir... At least you had the balls to get out"

     Reply
    Rick_James_Crack_Pipe was starred Rick_James_Crack_Pipe was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    04/07/09

    @Rick_James_Crack_Pipe:


    But he never would have met Kyle Shanahan.

     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of Hit Bull Win Steak Hit Bull Win Steak
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He wants to be...a dentist!
     Reply
    Hit Bull Win Steak was starred Hit Bull Win Steak was unstarred
    Image of sir_pantsalot sir_pantsalot
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He will be begging to get back on the team once he realizes that non-athlete college students actually have to study and do homework.
     Reply
    sir_pantsalot was starred sir_pantsalot was unstarred
    Image of uninspired uninspired
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He didn't listen to his father's advice that went something like "the game will suck for several years, but then you'll get a running game".
     Reply
    uninspired was starred uninspired was unstarred
    Image of MattinglysSideburns MattinglysSideburns
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    Is this a scene from the sequel where Napoleon fills out and becomes popular?
     Reply
    MattinglysSideburns was starred MattinglysSideburns was unstarred
    Image of Jews For Purple Jesus Jews For Purple Jesus
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    If he wants he could still pretend to be an ASU QB by showing up at high school girls basketball games in a pink shirt to endlessly curse at the refs.
     Reply
    Jews For Purple Jesus was starred Jews For Purple Jesus was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    His father's teeth are known as "Arabian good looks".
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of HebrewHammer HebrewHammer
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He had the genes, the Aryan good looks,


    The looks genes must be from Momma Elway. His teeth didn't make me pass out in fear.

     Reply
    HebrewHammer was starred HebrewHammer was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    04/07/09

    @HebrewHammer:


    I think it was supposed to read "equine good looks."

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He quit football to do a remake of The Dirty Dozen.
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of Chamomiles Davis Chamomiles Davis
    04/07/09

    @Hatey McLife: Don't make Juancho upset like that.
     Reply
    Chamomiles Davis was starred Chamomiles Davis was unstarred
    Image of UkraineNotWeak UkraineNotWeak
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    He has a future in Matt Leinert's posse.
     Reply
    UkraineNotWeak was starred UkraineNotWeak was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    04/07/09

    In reply to Jack Elway Will Never Be Like You, Dad!
    the Aryan good looks


    If that is all it took, John Tesh would have been a modern day Sammy Baugh.

     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
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