But, lo, from the wilderness, a hero, a Senator stepping it to wrong a right, to make a difference. A man who will charge forward, without equivocation, in a clear, plain-spoken, principled stand against corporate greed. A man who can Get It Done. A man ... aww .... him?

"I am opposed to anything that deprives people of reasonable choices," Kerry said in a statement. "In this day and age, consumers should have more choices — not fewer. I'd like to know how this serves the public — a deal that will force fans to subscribe to DirecTV in order to tune in to their favorite players. A Red Sox fan ought to be able to watch their team without having to switch to DirecTV."

Thank you, Sen. Kerry, seriously, we appreciate it ... but, uh, anybody else over there who could maybe help?

Senator To Raise TV Concerns With FCC [USA Today]
In Case You Had Any Doubt, MLB Doesn't Care About You At All [Deadspin]

Senator Kerry (D-Mass.) today made a bet with his colleague from Indiana, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-Ind.) ... Kerry offered to present Bayh and his staff with a hearty helping of Boston clam chowder if the Patriots lose this weekend in Indianapolis. In exchange, Bayh agreed to provide Kerry's camp with an old Hoosier State favorite - South Bend Factory Chocolate Crunch, caramel corn drizzled with milk chocolate ...

Come on. If politicians are going to do this, put something real on the line. Losing state has to pay the winning state's sales tax for a month. If the Pats win, the official Indiana state seal must be changed to a portrait of Tom Brady, and if the Colts win, Peyton Manning must be made the official state bird of Massachusetts.

Sen. Kerry Stands Behind New England Patriots ... blah blah blah [John Kerry]