Our first repeat winner, but it's hard to argue that he doesn't deserve it since he's finally earning a lifetime of $250 million contracts in one shortlong month. ("The New Mr. October and New Mr. November!") After Games 1 and 2 of the World Series (0-8, 6 Ks) it looked like all his post-season "failures" were coming back to haunt him once again. Then, with the Yankees in trouble in Game 3, he bounces one off a camera to start the rally and then comes up with another huge hit—under pressure even!—to give himself the game-winning RBI in Game 4. Plus, he got hit by a pitch three times in two days, because intentional walks just aren't rough enough for this guy.

You know what? I'm just going to say it. If there's anyone on the planet who can get away with hanging a painting of himself depicted as a mighty centaur over his bed, it's Alex Rodriguez. He's got True Yankee coming out of his ... well, everywhere.

Alex Rodriguez earns "true Yankee' status [Allentown Morning Call]
A-Rod all about quality, not quantity in Series [Daily News]
The 2009 MLB Season Has Belonged To A-Rod [Rumors and Rants]
Cashing in with the best team that money can buy [AP]
Matthews: A-Rod is now a postseason powerhouse [Newsday]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Johnny Damon: The real hero last night, Damon got a huge hit off Brad Lidge then stole two bases to set up A-Rod's big moment. Didn't he used to play in Rhode Island or something?

Vince Young: By waiting until his team played a very beatable Jacksonville squad (and until the Titans' season was pretty much over) to work his way into the starting lineup, Vince Young looks like a hero again. It was a very sane and mentally balanced performance. [The Tennessean]

Ted Ginn: Two 100-yard kickoff returns and 299 total kick return yards after not being allowed to start the game at WR. Obviously, he's much too valuable to be allowed to play offense. Also, I think the Jets might have some concerns on special teams. [Star-Ledger]

Unidentified Minnesota Quarterback: Yeah, yeah. I know.

Texas Longhorns: UT leapt over Alabama in the polls and the BCS simply because the Tide took the week off. Pussies. [AP]

U.S.A.! U.S.A.!: For the first time in 27 years, the NYC Marathon was won by a goddamn red-blooded American. (Who was born in Eritrea.) We will take that. [New York Times]

And the Weekend Loser?: The Oakland Raiders Receiving Corps. Just the way they drew it up.

After last night's base stealing extravaganza, Johnny Damon is feeling pretty good about himself. Good enough to revive his devilish tongue salute with Nick Swisher. Although I suppose it never really went away, did it?

Can they finally lick it up tonight? And by "it", I of course mean a big bowl of chocolate ice cream that they are eating in celebration of another Yankee championship. I know you're giddy from anticipation, but try to contain yourselves.

[Photo: AP]

* * * * *

More on the game in a bit. It's Monday morning. We've got a lot to cover today so do what you can to cancel your meetings. Priorities, people.

Damon smacks a homer and Swisher's right there to tap the keg at home plate. You would think that because it's against the Nationals they would tamp down the tongue flickery, but the rock never sleeps. It was not enough Wednesday night— the Yankees lost 3-2 — or last night as the Yankees lost again to the Nationals and Brett Gardner almost broke the expensive Dunkin Donuts fence with his spine (That fence is worth more than you, Brett. It has platinum reinforcements.)

*****

Good morning. It's Friday. Gay rocks the highway.

On first glance, it looks to be the classic sign of the horns so beloved of Slayer fans and certain residents of Texas, with perhaps a vulgar twist. But you'll notice the extended thumb. This seemingly minor detail turns the gesture into the ASL sign for "I love you."

We contacted Pete Abraham, the Journal News' excellent Yankees beat guy and proprietor of The LoHud Yankees Blog. He traces the gesture's roots to spring training, a slack time of year particularly suited to developing nonverbal modes of communication. Swisher is very likely the originator, as evidenced by this photo (note the index fingers, however):

Abraham, on our behalf, asked Swisher about its meaning. "It doesn't mean anything," Swisher said. "Just something we do. Rock and roll, I guess."

But surely there's more to it than that. For further elaboration, we showed the photos to David McNeill, professor emeritus of psychology and linguistics at the University of Chicago, who is writing a book about the role of gesture in the development of language. He e-mails:

Your guess (the 'horn' - meaning evil eye, cuckold) seems good to me. That is, I think it's a kind of contempt gesture. This, combined with the tongue sticking out, plus the home run context, makes me think that the whole constellation is a gesture of triumph plus derision. ... The two live-action Damon examples differ from the original in interesting ways. First of all, he combines hand and face into a single gesture, whereas the original had them as two gestures (how you count gestures is somewhat arbitrary, but I mean there is more integration in the Damon versions). Second, he has three fingers extended, one more than the original. This interests me, and I think it may be an adjustment to having combined hand and face. If you try to do that with the hand in the original 'horn' gesture form, it's quite difficult, but by folding his index and second finger under his chin, and extending the ring and first fingers, he makes a nice chin cup; then the extended thumb is really unnecessary but was part of the original 'horn' and is quite awkward to fold in to get rid of, so it is still there, too. So Damon has transformed the gesture into a true symbol, with parts working together.

"Triumph and derision" is a fairly succinct summary of the Yankee Way. I-Team's conclusion: The gesture is a commingling of all of the above — a symbol of rock 'n' roll, triumph, derision. And, perhaps, one Yankee outfielder's taste for cunnilingus.

Even Johnny Damon's pussy-lickin' face can't help the Yankees end their five game losing streak. Last night's culprit? Lots and lots of home runs. Andy Pettitte gave up four jacks and Mariano Rivera gave up another two in the ninth to let the scrappy Rays march off with the victory. They suck. The good news? ALEX RODRIGUEZ WILL JOIN THE TEAM IN BALTIMORE TONIGHT. Given the way the Yankees are playing right now, ol' Bitch Tits might be a welcome distraction.

Good morning. It's late. Fuckin' Zombies.

It's not often that Deadspin links to Talking Points Memo, so let's make the most of it. As someone who has no money, I don't understand any of this "investment" stuff that all the Richie Riches seem to like, but the gist is that New York Yankees outfielder Johnny Damon's investment strategy is as weak as his arm...HEY-O! Actually, that's not fair. It appears that neither Nady nor Damon actually had any money invested with Stanford and the freeze on both players' credit cards is temporary, but any story that features Johnny Damon saying, "I can't pay my bills" is all fun and games to me. Let's see what Scott Boras has to say, because he's always honest and forthright.

'The broker dealers the players have chosen have advised our personal management auditors the players are not in jeopardy of losing money,' Boras said. 'I understand government agencies are trying to protect the investor. Hopefully, the agencies will distinguish between those investors who are actually invested in Stanford products from investors whose broker dealers used Stanford as a clearing house and are not affected by the potential claims levied by the government. I trust government agencies will take quick steps to narrow the affected investor class and restore account access to all others.'

Oh, the horrors. Won't someone please think of the investor class?

Assets of Yankees' Damon, Nady frozen in Stanford fallout [TPM]

No shortage of candidates here, from Jose Contreras to Paul LoDuca to Ray Durham. But the unquestioned winner of this award has to be Johnny Damon, who, we might add, has two more years remaining on his $52 million contract he signed two years ago. Yeah, it really has been two years since Damon infuriated Red Sox fans (right before Christmas, even) by signing with the Yankees. The deal has turned out to be a disaster, and there's still a long way to go.

The good news: In the 2009 season, the Yankees should have eight mediocre DH types.

The Go Away Award [The Angry T]
Well, They're Handling This Well [Deadspin]

For those of you who pay attention to such matters, TNA wrestling is having some sort of pay-per-view event this weekend that will feature "Team Pierzynski" vs. "Team Eckstein." That's A.J. Pierzynski and David Eckstein, two people who have never been in our kitchen. In this "promo" clip, Pierzynski does some Springer trash talk before a "surprise" guest shows up and makes his own team.

Sorry: We don't really understand this wrestling business.

Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway.

I don't imagine that the opposing centerfielder was all that happy about it, though.

Yes Network Reporter Knowingly Refers To Johnny Damon's DNA, Hand [Media Bistro]

What Damon did is just the ultimate betrayal in baseball. I don't see how it could not be considered that.

And Damon's response to all of this? It was something along the lines of: "What? A baby? Hey, it's not mine! I was nowhere near New Bedford!"

Damon Sucks Bibs [eBay]
Wahhhh! Damon Sues Over Baby Clothes [MSNBC]

Official Deadspin correspondent Liam Moy, the "Hustler of Culture," was at Fenway Park last night for Johnny Damon's return as a New York Yankee. We're not gonna spend half our show on this game today, but we did want to allow Liam — the "H of C," yo — to file his report, if just to encourage everyone else that filing video reports from games you go to is fun and educational. Plus, you'll get a cool nickname.

Highlight of his report: "For the first time ever (and I've been going to Sox games for 10 years now), I smelled pot at Fenway. Everyone around me started laughing and the guy in front of me summed it up by saying, 'I guess this isn't the family section.'" This probably explains why everyone got real excited about a backup catcher.

(UPDATE: An old ESPN Page 2 story makes it clear this is hardly the first weed sighting at Fenway Park).

At least one Red Sox site, however, is pleading for calm. Over at Boston Dirt Dawgs, there are several posts showing Damon in happer times, such as him clutching the World Series trophy in 2004 and being loaded into an ambulance with his fist raised. "Give it up for a guy who gave his all ... all the time," advises the site. "World Series Champions, period. Boston never forgets."

Um, that's what we're afraid of.

By the way, as near as we can tell, the Photoshop above was created by the folks at Da Bronx Bombers.

Johnny On The Spot [SI.com]
Boo Who? Cheer Up [Boston Dirt Dawgs]

• 2. Baseball Comes Out Swinging. Wasn't this new steroids scrutiny supposed to be an early advange to pitchers? Not so far. Major League teams are hitting .270 so far this season, the highest opening week since 1961. Home runs (216) are up 10.6 percent and average runs scored per game at 12.40, the highest in the latter category since 2001. (All of this according to the Elias Sports Bureau). Doing his part has been Jim Thome, who hit his fourth homer of the season in the White Sox's 5-3 victory over the Tigers, ruining Detroit's home opener. Thome hit only seven homers all of last season with the Phillies, who then dealt him to the White Sox, and are now maybe kicking themselves; that is, when other teams aren't doing it. Freddy Garcia went six innings for his 100th win.

• 3. Well, This Looks Familiar. The Dodgers pummeled Pittsburgh in the Pirates' home opener, 8-3, and this time manager Jim Tracy got to see it from a different angle; the Pirates' dugout. The former Dodgers' manager is 1-7 so far with the Pirates, thanks in part to Jason Repko, who homered and tripled to drive in four runs for L.A. It's Pittsburgh's worst start since 1974, when they were also 1-7 ... but they did go on to win the division title that season, so step back from the ledge, Bucs Faithful.

• 4. Biggio, 40, Glad No One Timed Him On That Sac Fly. Craig Biggio motored home on a sacrifice fly in the 12th inning to give the Astros a 5-4 win over the Nationals at Minute Maid Park, in a game noticable for its absence of Washington manager Frank Robinson. The former MLB Director of Discipline was serving a one-game suspension stemming from his actions during Thursday's game with the New York Mets. Robinson was ejected for arguing after Jose Guillen was beaned by Pedro Martinez. On Monday, Nationals starter John Patterson hit two batters, by the way.

• 5. Now Hitting For Alex Rodriguez, Rupert Gee. Should Yankees fans be worried that David Letterman struck out Johnny Damon last night? As part of his guest appearance on The Late Show on Monday, Damon went to the street outside the Ed Sullivan Theater in Manhattan and took some cuts with Letterman pitching ... and struck out. If, that is, if you count the first and third pitches as called strikes, which they were. Letterman then pitched to Billy Crystal, and Yankees manager Joe Torre stepped out of the crowd to pitch to Damon, with better results for the former Red Sox star. Damon's only intelligible answer to a question all night, by the way, was his wish that no one throw anything at him when the Yankees visit Fenway Park May 1-2.

As always, it's amazing what you can find on YouTube.

Today's pick: Concert footage from October 2004, featuring "rock" "band" Alter Bridge bringing current New York Yankee Johnny Damon — that still doesn't feel right, typing that — and Cincinnati Red Bronson Arroyo somehow looking uncomfortable trying to rock along with a Christian "rock" band. For a brief second, watching this, we thought it was possible that Scott Stapp could actually kick all these people's asses. And then we just realized everyone would just run away from each other.

Ah, 2004. We always have a feeling Bostonians will ultimately end up slightly more embarrassed of that team than they'd like to admit.

Alter Bridge With Red Sox [YouTube]

"As the conversation shifts to after-hours pursuits, Damon adds nonchalantly, "My wife wants us to put a swing in our New York place." [Jaret] Wright's eyes go wide. An oblivious Yogi wanders by with seconds from the mess table. Damon gives a naughty, kidlike shrug. "We're married; you have to keep it interesting."

Damon also, ominously, refers to his wife in the piece as a "five-tool player." Upon hearing this, we imagine Wright letting out a little "yeep!" and scampering back into the clubhouse, where he hid under a bench and shivered for a while.

And An Idiot Shall Lead Them [New York Magazine] (via The Big Lead)

This isn't that surprising, of course — though if we were a collectibles dork, we might buy that at that price; we can see that number inching up as people only ultimately just remember Damon as a Red Sox — but the rest of "Hector"'s report raised our eyebrows.

"The shop owner said he'd taken a bath on this and on a bunch of signed baseballs that he ended up giving to his kid for batting practice," Hector writes. "The life size cardboard Johnny Damon cutouts, though? Those sold fast — to a local rifle club for target practice."

Massachusetts-area citizens physically shooting at cardboard cutouts of Johnny Damon? We repeat: We are so freaking excited baseball is almost back.

Merry Christmas, Boston!

Damon Gets New 'Do [Fox Sports]

My Sensible Reaction to Johnny Damon Signing with the Yanks [The Sound Of Rane] (via BostonDirtDogs.com)

Nothing from Bill Simmons so far, probably because he's hosting a radio show all week and hasn't learned the Stephen A. Smith trick of writing columns on a blackberry while doing voice exercises. But we think our commenters had the best takes on this story yesterday, particularly "kranepool," who nails our thoughts: "Sources out of Boston say it was Hideki Matsui agreeing to share his extensive porn collection with Damon that sealed the deal with him signing with the Highlanders." This has to totally be true.

Red Sox Nation Reaction [Was Watching] (via Baseball Musings]
Our Favorite One: Godzilla Vs. Mothra [Deadspin]
Johnny Damon, It's Shearing Time [Deadspin]

As reported first by our boy Jon Heyman at Newsday last night, Damon is about to sign a four-year, $52 million deal with the Yankees. (We're not giving all this credit to Heyman just because he's the only one who originally gave us Matt Lawton credit — though that didn't hurt.)

We haven't quite adjusted our eyes yet to Damon playing for the Yankees: We won't believe it until we see it. Imagine, say, John Kruk or Darren Daulton actually winning that World Series in '93 and leaving the Phillies two days later to play for the Mets. And triple that. We just hope he doesn't start hanging out with A-Rod; we do imagine a violent Damon-Matsui collision at some point, though. We can already see it in our mind.

Heeeeeeeere's Johnny [Newsday]