How do I know that her latest is destined to be a classic? Because the word "rainbow" is mentioned no less than seven times; a record. Also there are five angels, and even Jesus himself makes an appearance. So sit back and cuddle a loved one or your favorite alcoholic beverage, and enjoy "Music In Rainbows."

"Music In Rainbows"

From God's Loving Heart
The Most Beautiful Rainbow Barbaro
His Wings Of Love
Eight Belles Glowing Angel
The Heart Of The Rainbow
Barbaro's So, So So Beautiful Angels Here
Musical Notes In The Sky
In Halos
Churchill Sounds Singing
Barbaro's Halo Is Glowing So, So Beautifully So
All The Colors Of The Rainbow
The Circle Of Love
In Hearts
In Roses
In Halos
The Circle Of Angels
Angel Mothers
Caring Hearts
Reaching Another
Inspiring
The Rainbow Of Music
So, So Beautiful Songs
The Words That Mean A Lot
Joy.........

Posted by: Dee Mirich at May 10, 2008 7:37 PM

Alex Brown Horseracing Message Board
There's Something About Mirich [Deadspin]

It's the booze sandwich. It's better than paying 10 bucks for mint juleps.

Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Pick up your favorite alcohol (or in this case, a cheap alternative). The only logical selection for the Kentucky Derby was a fine bourbon. Evan Williams of course. Then select a hearty sized artisan bread. Large enough to hold a 16 oz. bottle. Then proceed by cutting the bread in half and removing most of the bread, leaving just the crust shell. Fill your 16 oz. bottle with your booze of choice and place inside the bread. Make sure the cap is tightly secured. You could stop there with booze bread, but why not make it more authentic and add a few slices of your favorite deli meat, a little lettuce, and some cheese. The mayo can be omitted because nobody wants a slippery bottle of booze. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich.

Sounds good to us! Who says America's youth don't have the go-get-'em-ness and up-by-the-bootstraps ingenuity of the previous generation?

The Best Way To Sneak Booze Into The Kentucky Derby [CadaverBlender]

PETA's demands:

"We are calling for cruelty to animal charges to be pressed regarding Eight Belles against the jockey and the owners of the horse," Rajt said. "It is actually a Kentucky state cruelty to animal charge. We also say the steward's board at Churchill Downs needs to immediately file a complaint against jockey Gabriel Saez for whipping Eight Belles as she came down the final stretch to the wire. We need standards in place to bar horse owners who allow this kind of cruelty."

I take no side in this debate, except to say that one of the counter-protester's signs on Tuesday, "Horses Are Born To Run," is very misleading. I believe that the photo below proves that horses would all rather be doing something else if given the choice.

PETA Demonstration At KHRA Expected To Continue In Baltimore [Thoroughbred Times]

Horse superfan Mirich has yet to be heard from on this, but Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has written an angry letter to Clinton. A portion:

"Horse racing is as indefensible as dog fighting, and Sen. Clinton must step up immediately and condemn it as animal abuse," Newkirk said. "Eight Belles and countless other horses abused in the racing industry suffer horrendously and die just so that people can bet on them as though they were poker hands."

Clinton had made this statement prior to the race:

"I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me," Sen. Clinton told supporters in Jeffersonville, Ind., ABC News reports. "I won't be able to be there this year — my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles."

Meanwhile, Ms. Mirich is furiously scribbling her latest poem. An excerpt:

Hillary's Presidential ambitions, at the Rainbow Bridge. Mystical. All, All Beautiful Glowing Rainbows Sending To Angel Hillary. I Love You So A Lot So. Superdelegates with Barbaro and Eight Belles now In The Sea Of Tranquility. God brings Calming Waters, gas tax holiday and a Second spot on the Obama ticket. Halos ..... Breaking ties in the Senate. Affirmed. Posted by: Dee Mirich at May 5, 2008 6:17 PM.

PETA Writes To Clinton About Eight Belles [ABC News]
Clinton Backs Girl Horse In Kentucky Derby [ABC News]
There's Something About Mirich [Deadspin]

Such an ugly turn of events. As Unsilent Majority wrote on Saturday, it was rather disarming to watch all the smiling faces in the winner's circle celebration while a few yards away, a horse lay dying. NBC defended itself by saying that it didn't want to upset viewers by showing the dying horse on camera; but the loud gunshot during the Gabriel Saez interview was a dead giveaway.

Meanwhile, horse fans over at the Alex Brown Racing message board are furious.

I want to throw up still. Thank God I have all of you in my living room via the net. That innocent smokey gray creature with her adorable striped tube socks on her legs lying on the track still wanting to run is stuck in my head and I can't go to sleep. This is what nightmares are made of. Afterwards, these lady horses are forced to have sex with different men horses they don't know that well so they can become pregnant only for their baby to be taken away is sad. I will never see the Kentucky Derby as a festive wonderful event. We need to respect these creatures. Judgement day will come for us. — From: csantovena 2:07 am

So racing fans are not happy. PETA is on the warpath. And the Washington Post is asking the musical question, is horse racing on its way out? (I blame the blogs!).

But thoroughbred racing is in a moral crisis, and everyone now knows it. Twice since 2006, magnificent animals have suffered catastrophic injuries on live television in Triple Crown races, and there is no explaining that away. Horses are being over-bred and over-raced, until their bodies cannot support their own ambitions, or those of the humans who race them.

But at the end of the day, I think we're all left with one fundamental question. All of this animal suffering, and yet Wizard Cat does nothing?

Is Horse Racing Breeding Itself To Death? [Washington Post]
Death Looms Over Churchill Downs [Deadspin]
PETA Wants Eight Belles Jockey Suspended After Horse's Death [SF Gate]
Alex Brown Racing Message Board

"You name it, we've tried it," Tsunoda confided the other day to the Reuters news service. "We had him on Viagra - that didn't work. It's very odd. He's not impotent. He's just very choosy about his women. He's more human than animal. Basically, he's a bit of a weirdo."

War Emblem was sold to a Japanese breeder in 2004 for $17.7 million, but has sired only 39 foals since; his owners losing an estimated $55 million in stud fees. This of course has led Outsports to speculate that he's gay. I disagree with that. Those Robert Goulet photos in his stall mean nothing!

No Horse Play [CBS Sportsline]
A Stud, Candlelight, And Barry White [The News Tribune]
Popular Stud Says Nay To Mares [Outsports]

Horse racing embraces two vices that Americans love and sports hate: drugs and gambling. Without them, the sport would be unrecognizable and cease to exist. (This is also true of the NFL; wisely, they're a tad more covert about it.)

The drug vice is less interesting than it should be, as the drugs in question are used to make horses run faster, and generally double as diuretics. It's a lot less sexy to envision that the horses are being fed rocket fuel when in reality, they just pee more often. Granted, there are rogue trainers who take steps beyond the norm and legal, by taking measures such as giving their horses Viagra, injecting their legs with cobra venom (so they don't feel fatigue), and rubbing cayenne pepper on horses' genitals. But by and large, drug use is permitted, health consequences to the animals be damned.

So let's instead focus on racing's fulcrum: gambling. Without betting, there's no purse money for horses, and no lore of Seabiscuit, Secretariat and Barbaro. And because the Kentucky Derby is quintessential Americana, you're not only allowed to bet and win on the Derby, it's desired that you do so. Which is a win-win: you can make money while watching television, and Kentucky can continue to have a functioning economy.

If you're looking for a quash-scientific breakdown of the 20 Derby entrants and how to bet, check out our analysis on our site. But I suspect you're looking for a quicker way to watch and bet the Run for the Roses. Not a problem. Here are 6 well-accepted methods of picking your steed while sipping a mint julep in seersucker:

1. Bet the fastest horse. Generally foolproof in the world of racing, this leads you probable favorite Big Brown. While he's the most talented horse in the race, he's bucking 93 years of history by trying to win in his 4th lifetime race. On the plus side, his trainer has been suspended more than once for injecting his horses with illegal substances, so there's a chance he'll have an extra boost on Saturday. Expected odds: 3-1.

2. Bet the horse with the coolest name. Take a good look at the late-running Pyro during the post parade, because you won't see him again till the last 15 seconds of the race. He's the best closer in the field, but has to watch out for traffic trouble while trying to rally from last to first. Expected odds: 8-1.

3. Bet on Barbaro's memory. No, there aren't any horses with Barbaro's lineage in this race. However his trainer, Michael Matz, is back with his second Derby starter in Visionaire, who's a not-impossible longshot. The problem is that betting him means you're endorsing the five-plus minutes of violin-laden Barbaro montages during the pre-race telecast. Expected odds: 30-1

4. Bet the chic horse. Yes, the word "chic" and horse racing go together about as well as youth and John McCain. Still, every year there's a horse that the racing cognoscenti descend upon like vultures and pound his odds to half of what they should be, and the horse promptly runs 8th. This year's edition? It's Court Vision, who's owned by IEAH Stables, who intend to use him and Big Brown to start a racing hedge fund. Seriously. Expected odds

5. Bet on the girl. On the heels of filly Rags to Riches winning last year's Belmont Stakes, this year we've got a female Derby entrant in Eight Belles. In a wide-open year, she's got a fighter's chance as she's improving rapidly and seems to be coming into her own at just the right time. However, she'd be only the 4th filly to win the race ever and has never taken on male horses; suffice to say that she's a large underdog. Expected odds: 12-1.

Yep, some dope has named his horse Steve Spurrier, and it's our bad luck that it's actually a pretty fast horse.

Trainer Todd Pletcher, who won the 2007 Belmont with Rags to Riches, has been working his magic. "Every time we put him against another horse in training, he is right there," Pletcher said. Spurrier's big test is expected to come April 5 in either the Wood Memorial or the Illinois Derby.

"He has grown mentally as well as physically," Fort says. "If he improves as much in the next two months as he has in the past two, he will be right there [in the Kentucky Derby]."

If this horse wins the Kentucky Derby, and then breaks his leg heroically at the Preakness ... well, at least we'll finally have someone to answer all the emails. And we know which horse will have no problem mercilessly increasing a substantial lead.

Is Spurrier Headed To The Kentucky Derby? [The Wizard Of Odds]

On the day of the Kentucky Derby, a Rochester, NY, man walked into an OTB and asked how much it would cost to buy every possible trifecta combination. The man was told the answer and came back to place the wagers. It cost him a total of $13,680 for his $2 trifectas and he wound up winning... wait for it... wait for it... $440.

Yeah, you see, that's safely classified as a "bad decision." We wonder if his next move will be to put $1,000 each on the four remaining teams in the Stanley Cup. Whatever happens, he wins!

How Not To Bet The Kentucky Derby [SportsColumn]

But, the good news is that we have been getting sporadic reports from Zach, live at Churchill Downs. Here's some of what he's sent us so far:

So far the only cool thing I've seen is cleavage. Lots and lots of cleavage.

I'm in the grandstand. This place is a Republican's dream—all the white people are in suits and all the black people are employees. As for me, I'm in a khaki suit with cufflinks, double fisting a Bud and a mint julip.

Apparently telling people "I'm going to puke" does not get one to the front of the line for the men's room.

If you stare at seersucker long enough, you'll see a dolphin jumping at you in 3D.

Local news coverage started at 6 a.m. At around 9 a.m. they interviewed folks in the infield who smuggled in a zip lock bag full of grain alcohol. They followed that up with an interview of security guards.

Oh. And OJ is near section 118.

Anyway, right now I am in the University of Louisville's parking lot, in line for the Anytime Portable. Which is overflowing.

The Louisville folks are taking a lot of pride in their Orange Bowl victory. Banners abound. I want to remind them that it was against Wake Forest, but am afraid I'l get locked in the port-a-potty.

The only celeb I saw was Michael MacDonald. But that's probably because Tom Brady was busy nailing The Queen..

Here's to hoping that Street Sense gets through the Preakness without getting into a fatal crash, like that great horse, Dale Earnhardt.

OJ, you say? So there is a chance that a horse will die this afternoon. That's great news.

Anyway, I'm about done with the Derby for the day. I just can't watch this for another hour ... in all the excitement of the year of Barbaro, I had forgotten how boring, inhumane, and silly this whole thing is. If we get more updates from Zach, though, they'll be right here.

For our horse racing analysis here on Deadspin, we turn to New York Rangers forward Jaromir Jagr. From Steve Zipay at Newsday.com:

I'll give you my picks for Saturday's Kentucky Derby tomorrow, but decided to ask Jagr at practice if he even knew the name of any horse in the running.

"Barbaro" he said.

When reporters told him that Barbaro was dead, he asked: "Does that mean he can't win?"

"Not unless he's got a great jockey," I said.

Then the Rangers' captain replied: "There's only one horse: It's me."

So that's who I'm going with ... Jaromir Jagr. He might as well win it. Honestly, I think the best thing that could happen here is for another horse to die, hopefully a photogenic once. Pretty soon, people are going to get over Barbaro, and they'll need another cause.

And for more Derby stuff, I encourage you to browse through the links below, including Unsilent Majority's breakdown at Name of the Year.

HNOTY: Barbaro, Schmarbaro [Name of the Year]
Ahmad Rashad with Barbaro: The lost interview [The Sports Hernia Blog]
Kentucky Derby Infield [Kentucky Derby]
Paul Lo Duca Presents: Kentucky Derby Winners! [Bugs and Cranks]
Horses and courses... [Blue Notes]
Did Merv Griffin's horse get the bute or the boot? [Steroid Nation]

As we approach the biggest horse racing event of the year, the question hangs in the air: Which horse will suffer a fatal injury on the track, inspiring new innovations in interpretive dance? We're going with "Tiago."

All the celebrities are hitting Louisville, even if some people can't figure out what all the fuss is about. As you can probably figure out, we think horse racing is kind of dumb, but we will nevertheless be enjoying the race tomorrow, mint julep in hand. Well, without the "mint" and "julep," which we believe is called "bourbon."

Dead Blondes And The Kentucky Derby [Bad Idea Blue Jeans]
132nd Kentucky Derby: What The F—K Ever [Rumors And Rants]
Heard Around The Barn [Pulling Hair And Betting Horses]

The outstanding gentlemen at We Are The Postmen attended the Kentucky Derby last weekend, hanging out on the infield and meeting all kinds of fascinating characters. They produced this excellent video about the experience. Our favorites are the Cardinals fan who understands the connection between his team and hard liquor, the lady with the blow-up doll on the Slip n' Slide (really) and, uh, the man lying on the ground in a moment of, oh, we'll call it weakness.

Fantastic work, Postmen. We love this stuff.

Kentucky Derby 2006 [We Are The Postmen]

• Before the race started, I think I heard someone say something about horses "retiring with dignity."
• Bell rings; horses run fast.
• Horses continue to run fast. Man, look at those horses go.
• For some reason, I'm really craving Chinese food.
• Horses all make NASCAR-esque left turn.
• Horses appear to be picking up speed. These are some fast freakin' horses.
• You know, none of these horses are talking. Therefore, none of these horses have a damn thing on Mr. Ed.
• Some horses running faster than others.
• Man, the little guys in silk are whipping the horses awfully hard. That looks like it hurts.
• Hey, if I had a horse, you know what I'd name him? Steve. Everyone else's horse would be named something weird like "The Firm Calves On Betsy Sue," or, "Anti-Microbial Goat Shampoo," and my horse would just be named Steve. And he would make fun of the other horses for their dumb names.
• Some horse finished first. And rich white people rejoice.

Barbaro was your winner. I hope your exactas and trifectas all hit. And that'll wrap it up for the Kentucky Derby. I don't think anyone can provide any analysis more in-depth than what I've just given you, but they're probably trying over at The Derby Blog. Really, you should go there if you're sincerely interested in the horseys. But you've probably gathered that by now.

NBC's broadcast of the event starts at 5:00, and post time is set for 6:04, unless a horsey wigs out before entering the gate as one did before yesterday's Kentucky Oaks. But ESPN has you covered for the five hours preceding that, with their own all-day horsey coverage. That's right, there will be five hours of pre-game on ESPN, and one hour more on NBC... for a race that lasts two minutes. I don't even know how this is possible. Does Hank Goldberg give all the horses complete physical exams live on ESPN?

Anyway, I'm just going to politely steer you in another direction for your horsey racing needs. The Derby Blog is all about it, with insight from NBC Derby commentator Donna Brothers, and Jim from over at The Realests.

And if you need any last minute gambling tips, I suggest getting in touch with Anna Nicole Smith.

Donna has the dirt on Churchill Downs [The Derby Blog]
Anna Nicole Smith: Derby Prognosticator? [The Realests]

OJ. is picking winners (Lawyer Ron; "Man, I love lawyers, so I'm gonna bet Lawyer Ron. If his name was Lawyer Johnnie I'd bet my house on him.") and comparing the parties in Kentucky to those in Miami.

"You got better parties here than you do in Miami at the MTV Awards," he said. "It's the No. 1 event of the year. The hip-hop/movie/horse culture is all here."

We're going to try to avoid any "search for the real killers" joke here, except to say that race officials should tighten security if a horse breaks a leg and is forced to be put down, lest O.J. show up, drooling, eager to "help out in any way I can."

O.J. Simpson Loose In Kentucky [DonChavez.com]