It was an honest mistake, one you can chalk up to Durkin, like most Americans watching, dismissing Mine That Bird once he lumbered out of the gate, was dead last for the first leg, and disappeared up until the last frenzied moments. For those who think that jockeys have no part in how a horse performs, on this version of the race, with a shadow-iso on Mine That Bird, you can see how expertly Calvin Borrel navigated the horse in and out of the pack to get to the rail.

Unfortunately, this also isolates how Durkin botched the final leg. I'm sure who's ever calling the Preakness will keep a closer eye on him.

This video was put together by Gawker video guru/genius/Godsend Mike Byhoff.

Tough Day For Durkin (second graf) [NYT]

There was a suspicious-looking metal object hanging from what I imagined to be a low-slung underarm holster beneath Woolley's jacket during his post-race victory interview. I'm sure that's not what it was, but I'm not sure that wasn't what it was, if you know what I'm saying. Woolley does seem like the kind of guy who would be packing heat at a Kentucky horse race—but he also seems like the kind of guy who would wear his cellphone on his belt, so I'll stop with the unsupported innuendo now.

However, if he had been carrying a gun at Churchill Downs that would just make him horse racing's all-time renegade bad ass, which would officially vault Mine The Bird into mythical "let's make a sequel to Seabiscuit" territory. Woolley already stood out like a sore thumb in Louisville with his black cowboy hat and blue jeans. His 21-hour horse trailer convoy from New Mexico still has the media salivating and will keep his status as the sport's outlaw secure until Pimlico. He even teased us all for a few hours this morning with his "We don't need no stinkin' Preakness" attitude. This guy MAKES HIS OWN RULES, people!

Of course, he does need the Preakness and no one in their right mind would skip it with a healthy horse. And getting snotty with the post-race interviewer just because he wants to talk about your pickup truck doesn't help. (Your horse was a miracle 50-1 shot, so maybe show a little bit of joy. The announcer calling the race was so confused when Mine That Bird took the lead that he couldn't figure out his name.) Still, there is some potential in a brash Wild West character who thumbs his nose at that those stinking bluebloods, but the window of opportunity is small. If he doesn't show the world something in two weeks, everyone will stop caring real quick. He should bring a gun next time, or better yet ... an authentic Native American with a bow and arrow. That will really show those snobs that he's got some serious balls.

Unlike his poor horse.

Woolley Soaking Up First Derby Experience [BloodHorse]
On to Preakness for Derby winner Mine That Bird [AP]
Mine That Bird won't have much shot at Pimlico [NY Daily News]
Meet America's perfect sports event [Detroit Free Press]

Looks like a whole hell of a lot of fun if you ask me, which you didn't. Of course, a trip to the Kentucky Derby infield wouldn't be complete without porta-potty racing. We've discussed the phenomenon before, but check out yesterday's action, complete with racing girls and flying chairs.

Also be sure to check out Spencer Hall's superb Derby wrap-up over at The Sporting Blog; it's Orson's world, we're just lucky to live in it.

Photo Credits:
Spencer Hall/The Sporting Blog
Cameron Smith/SPORTSbyBROOKS
AP/Charlie Riedel
Busted Coverage
Yes But No But Yes
Jack Fleming

Borel, who was also victorious yesterday in the Kentucky Oaks, was understandably excited after coming off the rail to torch the field by over 6 lengths. From a layman's perspective it certainly looked like a masterful job by Borel, who weaved through traffic seemingly at will en route to the lead. Pioneerof The Nile placed while Musket Man finished third. Last place belonged to Flying Private, who will now be forced to box Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Reuters image via Yahoo!

Yes, the 135th running of the Kentucky Derby is almost here and for today at least, I will be one of those experts. You see, I like to play the ponies once in awhile, but I simply don't have time to "research" and "learn" the intricacies of thoroughbred racing and/or parimutuel betting. So I've developed a system based on analysis of historical trends, thin-slicing of available information and whichever horse's name I like the best. Oh, and pure raw guesswork. That seems to be what works best for me.

So let's examine the field and see if we can pick a winner. Odds are current as of Friday afternoon.

50-1: Mine That Bird, Join In The Dance, Atomic Rain, Summer Bird, Nowhere To Hide, Flying Private

It's easiest to break down them down by group and eliminate the sure losers first. For example, don't take a horse named after a bird. If you're going to bet a long shot, take Atomic Rain, because Atomic Rain sounds like the name of a crappy metal band that thinks it's hardcore, but prefers to play Motley Crue covers. Plus, rain that is atomic would be like ... awesome.

30-1: West Side Bernie, Mr. Hot Stuff, Advice, Regal Ransom

I'm sorry, if you work at Churchill Downs and someone comes to you and says I would like to enter my horse in the Derby and you ask what the horse's name is and he says "Mr. Hot Stuff" ... you should slap that person in the face with a leather glove and then give them a wedgie. This is the fuckin' Derby, not playtime for Barbie's friend Skipper. Avoid all these horses like the plague.

20-1: Musket Man, Papa Clem, Chocolate Candy, General Quarters

These are what as known as value bets, because bets that never get paid off create great value for the house. General Quarters is the sentimental favorite and lots of bettors will be loading up on him tomorrow, because the odds are long enough to fool people into thinking they can make a big score, but not so long that they look like a total moron who is just throwing money away. (But they are throwing their money way.) If you feel you must take a chance on one of these, take Musket Man to Show because he drinks Guinness.

15-1: Hold Me Back, Desert Party

You might be tempted to pick Kent Desormeaux because you have heard his name before, but don't do that. The jockey is irrelevant. They can't make the horse run faster than he's able to and the best they can do is just not screw it up and ride him into a lake or something. Sure, experts will tell you about a jockey's ability to navigate tough alleys and control the pace, but we all know they are pretty much just along for the ride at this point. Don't let a famous name confuse your well-honed instincts about a sport you don't understand.

Now the favorites:

5-1: Friesan Fire
4-1: Dunkirk
4-1: Pioneer Of The Nile
3-1: I Want Revenge

Pioneer of the Nile is just too fancy and complicated a name to ever belong to a champion. Dunkirk sounds regal, but is actually the name of the world's most famous retreat, so that hardly inspires confidence. People seem to like I Want Revenge, but everytime I hear the name I always think of that mediocre indie band "She Wants Revenge" and I just couldn't bring myself to root for that. You go with your gut on these things—that's where all the great gamblers earn their keep!—and my gut is telling me that I would like a soft pretzel without too much salt. Friesan Fire is short, punchy, and doesn't make much sense. At a reasonable 5-1, that sounds like a Derby Winner to me.

My Superfecta:

Win: Friesan Fire
Place: Desert Party
Show: Dunkirk
Fourth: I Want Revenge

Bonus bet: Don't drink Mint Juleps tomorrow. They're terrible.

Several horses were on the track for morning workouts—including some hopefuls for Saturday's Kentucky Derby—when three-year-old colt Doctor Rap threw his jockey and bolted blindly down the track. He ran full speed into the back of Raspberry Miss, sending both horses sprawling to the ground. (Neither jockey was seriously hurt.) The filly suffered multiple fractures and was to be put down, but veterinarians say she actually died of shock before they could even give her the injection.

Two other colts died in a similar collision at Finger Lakes racetrack in New York last month and 21 polo ponies were poisoned at a tournament in Florida last week. It is not a good time to be a horse.

So who else is fired up for the Derby?! Huh?

Video: Deadly Collision at Pre-Derby Workout [NBC Chicago]
Filly dies following collision at Churchill Downs [AP]

There's no doubt that the antics of Frank Casatelli during last year's Preakness Stakes have captivated the nation. I claimed that Frank's attempt to leap from one portable john to the next was the first such attempt in horse racing history, but a reader then contacted us to try and set the record straight.

Rick,

apropos of nothing, port-a-john jumping first began at the 2007 Kentucky Derby (and probably long before that, who knows). Regardless, these three pictures confirm that my friend Dave's attempt at the port-a-john marathon pre-dates the Preakness stints. One John towards the end collapsed, and a Southern gentleman inside was not entirely pleased about it.

Anyways, after Dave did it in 07, lots of other kids at the Derby joined in. Our friends then tried to carry it on at the Preakness, where I'm told it became a full-fledged phenomenon. But it started (again, to my knowledge) at the 2007 Kentucky Derby when I helped Dave up onto a port-a-john and he cautiously leapt his was to infamy.

Oh, and notice via one pic that he did it barefoot. What a human.

I think I'm going to go ahead and just have this one sentence bronzed:

One John towards the end collapsed, and a Southern gentleman inside was not entirely pleased about it.

Run Dave, you magnificant port-a-john jumping bastard! Run!

How do I know that her latest is destined to be a classic? Because the word "rainbow" is mentioned no less than seven times; a record. Also there are five angels, and even Jesus himself makes an appearance. So sit back and cuddle a loved one or your favorite alcoholic beverage, and enjoy "Music In Rainbows."

"Music In Rainbows"

From God's Loving Heart
The Most Beautiful Rainbow Barbaro
His Wings Of Love
Eight Belles Glowing Angel
The Heart Of The Rainbow
Barbaro's So, So So Beautiful Angels Here
Musical Notes In The Sky
In Halos
Churchill Sounds Singing
Barbaro's Halo Is Glowing So, So Beautifully So
All The Colors Of The Rainbow
The Circle Of Love
In Hearts
In Roses
In Halos
The Circle Of Angels
Angel Mothers
Caring Hearts
Reaching Another
Inspiring
The Rainbow Of Music
So, So Beautiful Songs
The Words That Mean A Lot
Joy.........

8.......Halos......Two Hearts......Connected In
Love......Divine Love.......

Affirmed Rainbows........
Sacred Prayers........

Affirmed Prayers.......
God And The Angels Are With You.......
Jesus......

Barbaro's Angels
His Rainbow Of Love.......

Affirmed

Posted by: Dee Mirich at May 10, 2008 7:37 PM

Alex Brown Horseracing Message Board
There's Something About Mirich [Deadspin]

It's the booze sandwich. It's better than paying 10 bucks for mint juleps.

Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Pick up your favorite alcohol (or in this case, a cheap alternative). The only logical selection for the Kentucky Derby was a fine bourbon. Evan Williams of course. Then select a hearty sized artisan bread. Large enough to hold a 16 oz. bottle. Then proceed by cutting the bread in half and removing most of the bread, leaving just the crust shell. Fill your 16 oz. bottle with your booze of choice and place inside the bread. Make sure the cap is tightly secured. You could stop there with booze bread, but why not make it more authentic and add a few slices of your favorite deli meat, a little lettuce, and some cheese. The mayo can be omitted because nobody wants a slippery bottle of booze. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich.

Sounds good to us! Who says America's youth don't have the go-get-'em-ness and up-by-the-bootstraps ingenuity of the previous generation?

The Best Way To Sneak Booze Into The Kentucky Derby [CadaverBlender]

PETA's demands:

"We are calling for cruelty to animal charges to be pressed regarding Eight Belles against the jockey and the owners of the horse," Rajt said. "It is actually a Kentucky state cruelty to animal charge. We also say the steward's board at Churchill Downs needs to immediately file a complaint against jockey Gabriel Saez for whipping Eight Belles as she came down the final stretch to the wire. We need standards in place to bar horse owners who allow this kind of cruelty."

I take no side in this debate, except to say that one of the counter-protester's signs on Tuesday, "Horses Are Born To Run," is very misleading. I believe that the photo below proves that horses would all rather be doing something else if given the choice.

PETA Demonstration At KHRA Expected To Continue In Baltimore [Thoroughbred Times]

Horse superfan Mirich has yet to be heard from on this, but Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, has written an angry letter to Clinton. A portion:

"Horse racing is as indefensible as dog fighting, and Sen. Clinton must step up immediately and condemn it as animal abuse," Newkirk said. "Eight Belles and countless other horses abused in the racing industry suffer horrendously and die just so that people can bet on them as though they were poker hands."

Clinton had made this statement prior to the race:

"I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me," Sen. Clinton told supporters in Jeffersonville, Ind., ABC News reports. "I won't be able to be there this year — my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles."

Meanwhile, Ms. Mirich is furiously scribbling her latest poem. An excerpt:

Hillary's Presidential ambitions, at the Rainbow Bridge. Mystical. All, All Beautiful Glowing Rainbows Sending To Angel Hillary. I Love You So A Lot So. Superdelegates with Barbaro and Eight Belles now In The Sea Of Tranquility. God brings Calming Waters, gas tax holiday and a Second spot on the Obama ticket. Halos ..... Breaking ties in the Senate. Affirmed. Posted by: Dee Mirich at May 5, 2008 6:17 PM.

PETA Writes To Clinton About Eight Belles [ABC News]
Clinton Backs Girl Horse In Kentucky Derby [ABC News]
There's Something About Mirich [Deadspin]

Such an ugly turn of events. As Unsilent Majority wrote on Saturday, it was rather disarming to watch all the smiling faces in the winner's circle celebration while a few yards away, a horse lay dying. NBC defended itself by saying that it didn't want to upset viewers by showing the dying horse on camera; but the loud gunshot during the Gabriel Saez interview was a dead giveaway.

Meanwhile, horse fans over at the Alex Brown Racing message board are furious.

I want to throw up still. Thank God I have all of you in my living room via the net. That innocent smokey gray creature with her adorable striped tube socks on her legs lying on the track still wanting to run is stuck in my head and I can't go to sleep. This is what nightmares are made of. Afterwards, these lady horses are forced to have sex with different men horses they don't know that well so they can become pregnant only for their baby to be taken away is sad. I will never see the Kentucky Derby as a festive wonderful event. We need to respect these creatures. Judgement day will come for us. — From: csantovena 2:07 am

So racing fans are not happy. PETA is on the warpath. And the Washington Post is asking the musical question, is horse racing on its way out? (I blame the blogs!).

But thoroughbred racing is in a moral crisis, and everyone now knows it. Twice since 2006, magnificent animals have suffered catastrophic injuries on live television in Triple Crown races, and there is no explaining that away. Horses are being over-bred and over-raced, until their bodies cannot support their own ambitions, or those of the humans who race them.

But at the end of the day, I think we're all left with one fundamental question. All of this animal suffering, and yet Wizard Cat does nothing?

Is Horse Racing Breeding Itself To Death? [Washington Post]
Death Looms Over Churchill Downs [Deadspin]
PETA Wants Eight Belles Jockey Suspended After Horse's Death [SF Gate]
Alex Brown Racing Message Board

"You name it, we've tried it," Tsunoda confided the other day to the Reuters news service. "We had him on Viagra - that didn't work. It's very odd. He's not impotent. He's just very choosy about his women. He's more human than animal. Basically, he's a bit of a weirdo."

War Emblem was sold to a Japanese breeder in 2004 for $17.7 million, but has sired only 39 foals since; his owners losing an estimated $55 million in stud fees. This of course has led Outsports to speculate that he's gay. I disagree with that. Those Robert Goulet photos in his stall mean nothing!

No Horse Play [CBS Sportsline]
A Stud, Candlelight, And Barry White [The News Tribune]
Popular Stud Says Nay To Mares [Outsports]

Horse racing embraces two vices that Americans love and sports hate: drugs and gambling. Without them, the sport would be unrecognizable and cease to exist. (This is also true of the NFL; wisely, they're a tad more covert about it.)

The drug vice is less interesting than it should be, as the drugs in question are used to make horses run faster, and generally double as diuretics. It's a lot less sexy to envision that the horses are being fed rocket fuel when in reality, they just pee more often. Granted, there are rogue trainers who take steps beyond the norm and legal, by taking measures such as giving their horses Viagra, injecting their legs with cobra venom (so they don't feel fatigue), and rubbing cayenne pepper on horses' genitals. But by and large, drug use is permitted, health consequences to the animals be damned.

So let's instead focus on racing's fulcrum: gambling. Without betting, there's no purse money for horses, and no lore of Seabiscuit, Secretariat and Barbaro. And because the Kentucky Derby is quintessential Americana, you're not only allowed to bet and win on the Derby, it's desired that you do so. Which is a win-win: you can make money while watching television, and Kentucky can continue to have a functioning economy.

If you're looking for a quash-scientific breakdown of the 20 Derby entrants and how to bet, check out our analysis on our site. But I suspect you're looking for a quicker way to watch and bet the Run for the Roses. Not a problem. Here are 6 well-accepted methods of picking your steed while sipping a mint julep in seersucker:

1. Bet the fastest horse. Generally foolproof in the world of racing, this leads you probable favorite Big Brown. While he's the most talented horse in the race, he's bucking 93 years of history by trying to win in his 4th lifetime race. On the plus side, his trainer has been suspended more than once for injecting his horses with illegal substances, so there's a chance he'll have an extra boost on Saturday. Expected odds: 3-1.

2. Bet the horse with the coolest name. Take a good look at the late-running Pyro during the post parade, because you won't see him again till the last 15 seconds of the race. He's the best closer in the field, but has to watch out for traffic trouble while trying to rally from last to first. Expected odds: 8-1.

3. Bet on Barbaro's memory. No, there aren't any horses with Barbaro's lineage in this race. However his trainer, Michael Matz, is back with his second Derby starter in Visionaire, who's a not-impossible longshot. The problem is that betting him means you're endorsing the five-plus minutes of violin-laden Barbaro montages during the pre-race telecast. Expected odds: 30-1

4. Bet the chic horse. Yes, the word "chic" and horse racing go together about as well as youth and John McCain. Still, every year there's a horse that the racing cognoscenti descend upon like vultures and pound his odds to half of what they should be, and the horse promptly runs 8th. This year's edition? It's Court Vision, who's owned by IEAH Stables, who intend to use him and Big Brown to start a racing hedge fund. Seriously. Expected odds

5. Bet on the girl. On the heels of filly Rags to Riches winning last year's Belmont Stakes, this year we've got a female Derby entrant in Eight Belles. In a wide-open year, she's got a fighter's chance as she's improving rapidly and seems to be coming into her own at just the right time. However, she'd be only the 4th filly to win the race ever and has never taken on male horses; suffice to say that she's a large underdog. Expected odds: 12-1.

6. Bet the horse that fits the historical criteria. In a year where there doesn't appear to be a standout, there's exactly one horse that fits the traditional Derby profile, be it the number of races, breeding, results, speed, earnings and connections. To top it off he's getting no hype and will be an honest price. Ladies and gents, I give you your 2008 Kentucky Derby winner: Z Fortune. Expected odds: 18-1.

Yep, some dope has named his horse Steve Spurrier, and it's our bad luck that it's actually a pretty fast horse.

Trainer Todd Pletcher, who won the 2007 Belmont with Rags to Riches, has been working his magic. "Every time we put him against another horse in training, he is right there," Pletcher said. Spurrier's big test is expected to come April 5 in either the Wood Memorial or the Illinois Derby.

"He has grown mentally as well as physically," Fort says. "If he improves as much in the next two months as he has in the past two, he will be right there [in the Kentucky Derby]."

If this horse wins the Kentucky Derby, and then breaks his leg heroically at the Preakness ... well, at least we'll finally have someone to answer all the emails. And we know which horse will have no problem mercilessly increasing a substantial lead.

Is Spurrier Headed To The Kentucky Derby? [The Wizard Of Odds]

On the day of the Kentucky Derby, a Rochester, NY, man walked into an OTB and asked how much it would cost to buy every possible trifecta combination. The man was told the answer and came back to place the wagers. It cost him a total of $13,680 for his $2 trifectas and he wound up winning... wait for it... wait for it... $440.

Yeah, you see, that's safely classified as a "bad decision." We wonder if his next move will be to put $1,000 each on the four remaining teams in the Stanley Cup. Whatever happens, he wins!

How Not To Bet The Kentucky Derby [SportsColumn]

But, the good news is that we have been getting sporadic reports from Zach, live at Churchill Downs. Here's some of what he's sent us so far:

So far the only cool thing I've seen is cleavage. Lots and lots of cleavage.

I'm in the grandstand. This place is a Republican's dream—all the white people are in suits and all the black people are employees. As for me, I'm in a khaki suit with cufflinks, double fisting a Bud and a mint julip.

Apparently telling people "I'm going to puke" does not get one to the front of the line for the men's room.

If you stare at seersucker long enough, you'll see a dolphin jumping at you in 3D.

Local news coverage started at 6 a.m. At around 9 a.m. they interviewed folks in the infield who smuggled in a zip lock bag full of grain alcohol. They followed that up with an interview of security guards.

Oh. And OJ is near section 118.

Anyway, right now I am in the University of Louisville's parking lot, in line for the Anytime Portable. Which is overflowing.

The Louisville folks are taking a lot of pride in their Orange Bowl victory. Banners abound. I want to remind them that it was against Wake Forest, but am afraid I'l get locked in the port-a-potty.

The only celeb I saw was Michael MacDonald. But that's probably because Tom Brady was busy nailing The Queen..

Here's to hoping that Street Sense gets through the Preakness without getting into a fatal crash, like that great horse, Dale Earnhardt.

OJ, you say? So there is a chance that a horse will die this afternoon. That's great news.

Anyway, I'm about done with the Derby for the day. I just can't watch this for another hour ... in all the excitement of the year of Barbaro, I had forgotten how boring, inhumane, and silly this whole thing is. If we get more updates from Zach, though, they'll be right here.