Deadspin: Kurt Warner

Kurt Warner's Little Ball Friends

Leitch — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:20:22 EST

You might think of Kurt Warner as the slightly washed-up Buzzsaw quarterback with small hands and the crazy wife. But in the Christian community, Warner is an example of all that's right with the world. And now he's branching out into acting.

Actually, that video is from a few years ago, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining. We like his little friends; maybe one of them can play wide receiver this weekend.

Kurt Warner Loves Christian Cartoons [Jen's Free Throws]

In case you were wondering, we are not inherently ...

Leitch — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:50:39 EDT

In case you were wondering, we are not inherently broken up about Kurt Warner being the new Buzzsaw starting quarterback. In fact, we're downright excited. Someday, Matt, honest. [Arizona Republic]

If You're Not Drafted Saturday, Friends, Don't Worry!

Leitch — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:45:53 EDT

Before anyone gets too excited about the draft this Saturday, the Hall Of Fame Magazine cautions you to remember some of the great NFLers who were never even drafted. They include:

• Adam Vinatieri. This is due, in part, to Vinatieri being from freaking South Dakota.
• Kurt Warner. Before he became unable to walk down the street without falling over, Kurt Warner was once quite a good quarterback.
• Warren Moon. Also, one of the most accomplished wife beaters never to be drafted, along with Ike Turner.
• Dick "Night Train" Lane. This is Mark Madsen's nickname too, by the way.

So, you know, there's hope for you yet, Lucious!

Top 10 Undrafted Players In NFL History [Hall Of Fame Magazine]

Jeff Suppan Will Win For You, But He Will Not Let You Clone Him

Leitch — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 11:45:35 EDT

So since we've been in the Midwest this week, we've appreciated the primal pleasure of a good political attack ad. Most of the races in New York aren't close, so everyone's all nicey-nice in their ads. Not so in Missouri, where there's not only a brutal Senate battle between Jim Talent and Claire McCaskill, but also an Amendment about stem cell research on the ballot. We're not going to get into details, because politics gives us a headache, but the point is, Michael J. Fox, rather deep into his Parkinson's now, filmed an ad for McCaskill that has proven damaging, so Talent has enlisted, in response to Fox's ad ... some athletes to have his back.

We love when athletes get involved in politics, because it never seems like they quite understand what's going on, but this ad has the virtue of timing on its side: Its main speakers are Jesus Christ (well, Jim Caviezel, anyway) and Game 4 World Series starter Jeff Suppan. Of course, Mike Sweeney and Kurt Warner are in there too, and that can't help the cause much.

Anyway, see if you guess which are the athletes, and which are the actors.

As Pink Taco Leaves, Leinart Arrives

Leitch — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 16:15:18 EDT

As many of you know by know, the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals, ignoring pleas from the unwashed masses, have sold the naming rights to their new stadium. And, as would be expected, it's the most idiotic name possible: The University Of Phoenix Stadium. The name is confusing — so they're in Glendale now, but they were in Tempe, but they were called Phoenix, and now they play in Phoenix Stadium ... argh! — and it's even more bewildering that the Buzzsaw actually approached the "University," rather than the other way around. And what's the acronym going to be? Will they go to the UPS the way they went to the BOB?

This news segues nicely with the apparent decision to start Matt Leinart next week — which hasn't been confirmed by Dennis Green — after Kurt Warner's impersonation of a baking sheet last week. The real question for Leinart now is: Does the University of Phoenix offer courses in ballroom dancing?

Report: Leinart Will Get Start [East Valley Tribune]
Cards Sell Naming Rights To New Stadium [Arizona Republic]

(UPDATE: Well, looks like Butterbrain is back now.)

Kurt Warner Secures Another Super Bowl! Yeah!

Leitch — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 15:30:34 EST

We couldn't let this piece of news slip by: Our beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals re-signed quarterback Kurt Warner to a three-year deal yesterday that could end up being worth $15 million.

We do not want to overstate this, but this is the move that guarantees a Super Bowl for the Buzzsaw — and we mean next year.*

And look: Other Buzzsaw bloggers agree. Eleven-win season? Please. We're going 16-0!

Kurt Warner Signed [Arizona Cardinals]

* Your esteemed author has been predicting his beloved Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals to reach the Super Bowl every season since he was five. Part of his contract with Gawker Media calls for one "Buzzsaw Heading To The Super Bowl!" post a month. And this is it.

NFL Roundup: Bengal Breakthrough

Leitch — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 08:45:32 EST

• As Arizona Cardinals fans, we always wonder what the day will be like when, after years of torture, our team finally breaks through and shows they're serious about this whole winning business. It must have been that exciting for Bengals fans yesterday. Realize: A baby born the last time the Bengals made the playoffs probably had sex over the weekend.
• Ah, but only if Chad Johnson could have scored. Probably for the best, though; he should save the truly great material for the playoffs anyway.
• Honestly, the Vikings are going to make the playoffs. This is a truly astounding development. We mean, we're surprised Mike Tice is still alive at this point, let along leading a team into the playoffs. And we don't mean we're surprised Tice still has a job; we mean we're surprised he's alive.
• Hey, these games are starting to count for playoff stuffs; Cincinnati not only went up on Pittsburgh, but they're now tied with Denver. That would be a goofy development.
• Speaking of the Steelers, we were sent this over the weekend. Enjoy.
• Don't know if anyone was watching the 11:00 p.m. SportsCenter last night, but they went to Chris Berman's Top 10. No. 10 was Cincy and Pittsburgh, and Berman starts, "Da da da da da, here's Carson! To TJ Houshmanzada ... (brief silence)... Four turnovers on the day ... (silence) ... You know what, let me do it again, let me do it again, I, I..." Then the screen went black for three seconds, and then their pre-commercial tease thing came on. You mean, he's just doing schtick?
• Kurt Warner is making it extremely unlikely that the Buzzsaw's going to be able to draft his replacement next season. Thanks, jerk.
• We find Eli Manning more likable than Peyton. We're not sure why, we just do.

NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town

Leitch — Mon, 21 Nov 2005 09:45:03 EST

• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie."
• We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the Colts to an undefeated season. We did enjoy, however, in the postgame press conference, when Carson Palmer changed out of his uniform, dressed up but left on his eyeblack. Those cameras can get pretty bright.
• Why did they put the Texans on national television last night again? Just to be mean? Someday we expect David Carr to take the field with foam bumpers on both sides of him, like they do when real little kids go to bowling alleys.
• Doesn't this seem like the strangest time for an "exclusive, hard-hitting" Randy Moss interview? The guy hasn't done much all season, his team is strangely bland and, somehow, his team became more interesting once he left. We find it difficult to get too worked up by a Moss-Norv Turner feud.
• Yeah. Philadelphia. So.
• Nobody gets overly excited like Jon Gruden. The playoffs will be a better place with the Buccaneers in it.
• This is a yearly dilemma for Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals fans (both of us!), usually around this time of year: Do you root for the Cardinals to lose or to win? The season is lost by this point, so, hypothetically, one should be simply hoping for better draft position. But it is counterintuitive for a fan to ever root against his team, and besides, if you starting rooting against the Buzzsaw as soon as it became clear they wouldn't make the playoffs, well, jeez, you'd never be rooting for them. So yeah: Go Kurt Warner.

NFL Roundup: It's Possible That Plummer Just Isn't That Good

Leitch — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 10:09:57 EDT

Other Thoughts On The First Weekend Of The NFL:
• As the only guy who ever brought the Buzzsaw to the playoffs, we will always have a soft spot for Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer. But, what, with the out of control hair (facial and otherwise), angry anti-war screeds and the tendency to throw the ball to the other team, it's only a matter of time until he goes into some tirade in front the Broncos fans and talks about "how better it was in Arizona." We sometimes thinks coach Mike Shanahan is starting at him like he's going to eat him, by the way.
• Former CBS Sportsline reporter Jay Glazer, now a sideline guy covering the Vikings game, can't be any taller than 5-foot-2. Minnesota coach Mike Tice is tall, but he's not that tall.
• We were disappointed the NFL did not allow 49ers coach Mike Nolan to wear a tie, like he had requested.
• We think people were booing Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson while they were singing "America the Beautiful" before the Redskins game. Sorry. We're pretty sure, actually.
• A New York City sports bar was a bad place for someone to bearing an Arizona Cardinals hat and Kurt Warner jersey for the second half of that Giants-Buzzsaw Cardinals game yesterday. Trust us.

Blogdome: Those Racist Sooners

Leitch — Fri, 09 Sep 2005 16:15:57 EDT

• Did Oklahoma demote their quarterback because he was black? Or, with all the helmets and pads and everything, can anyone even tell? [BlackAthlete.net]
• Arizona Republic columnist gets all swoony on Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner. Hey, what's wrong with that? We've got his poster on our ceiling. [SportsFrog]
• Please make the Patriots stop playing that scary song, because it's freaking us out. [MSN Sports Filter] (not to be confused with SportsFilter)
• Cardinals blogger does his best Peter King impression, minus the terrifying evaporation of body mass. [Cardnilly]
• So, wait ... was Kanye West booed last night, or wasn't he? Bostonians can't seem to agree. [Off Wing Opinion]

Buzzsaw Savior Finally Gets MVP Trophy

Leitch — Tue, 23 Aug 2005 11:25:38 EDT

We feel like we should let you know this: We are a part of the vast pro-Arizona Cardinals media conspiracy. We're not some Johnny Come Latelys either; we have loved The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals since they were in St. Louis. We know there is an excess of Arizona Cardinals coverage, so we apologize for contributing to it. But we're little eight-year-old fans when it comes to The Buzzsaw; forgive us.

Anyway, current Buzzsaw quarterback Kurt Warner — otherwise known as The Savior — still hasn't received his 1999 MVP trophy. It somehow got lost in all the confusion, though apparently the Associated Press is making him a new one. Which is nice. Though not as nice as this year's Super Bowl XL MVP trophy will be. Which he's totally getting. Sorry: Buzzsaw Bias again. We're as bad as Mariotti.

Missing Trophy A Reminder For Warner [Arizona Republic]