Jason Chighizola, a 34-year-old coach of the Slidell (Louisiana) Bantam league "Yankees," was convicted this week of slugging the coach of the "Red Sox" after refusing to shake his hand during the post-game lineup. The Red Sox had just beaten the Yankees in the final game of the season to claim first place, so Chighizola was understandably upset. So upset that after being pulled off of the other coach, he ran to the dugout to get a bat and started swinging that like a mad man. (The game took place last year, but the trial was held Thursday.)

Naturally this particular rivalry extended back well before the game. The Red Sox coach with the bloodied face, Robert Johnson, may have taunted Chighizola a bit, since Johnson has lost his coveted spot as coach of the league all-star team to Chighizola earlier that year. Both men had been fighting for control of the league's board of directors, because the hand that controls the Slidell Bantam Baseball Association board is the hand that rules the world. The kids, of course, just want ice cream after the game and could not care less.

So now both men are banned from all league events and can't even watch their own kids play baseball, which is fine because people this ridiculous should not actually be parents.

Brawling Slidell youth baseball coach is found guilty of battery [New Orleans Times-Picayune]

Snohomish County sheriff's deputies were called to one of the players' homes after the boy told his stepfather that his coach had taken him along to break into a shop in Arlington, Okoloko wrote.

The stepfather was angry that an adult would use the boys to commit a crime, and, even worse, "that the adult was his son's baseball coach," Okoloko wrote.

The boy told investigators that [George] Spady's son crawled through a vent on the back side of the shop and unlocked the door for his father. Spady, his son and Spady's nephew then went inside and came out with light fixtures and some other items, according to court documents.

The boy told investigators that Spady yelled at him to go inside and grab more from the shop, and told him to hurry up because he saw a truck drive by, Okoloko wrote.

The boys will not be charged because they have a game next week—and they might actually have a chance to win now that this dope isn't coaching them anymore.

HeraldNet: Arlington coach put Little League boys up to burglary, police say [Daily Herald]
The Great Little League Caper of ‘09! [Steady Burn]

On Tuesday Mackenzie Brown became the first girl to throw a perfect game in Bayonne Little League history. Her reward? Today she gets to pitch for the New York Mets. She'll throw out the first pitch before the Mets take on the Washington Nationals at CitiField — finally Jerry Manuel has a reliable starter — as part of a whirlwind publicity tour that has included newspaper and TV interviews and a mention on SportsCenter.

From the Star Ledger of New Jersey:

Norman Brown expressed countless thanks to a mysterious voice on the other end of his cell phone. He then snapped it shut and turned to his 12-year-old daughter, Mackenzie.

"Yo dawg," he said, thrusting his arms in her direction, "you're throwing out the first pitch at the Mets game on Saturday!"

Brown retired all 18 batters she faced on Tuesday, striking out 12; including the last six of the game in succession. This season is her baseball swan song, however.

When her Little League career ends at the conclusion of this season, she will make the switch to softball. She has enjoyed her heyday playing ball with the boys but has aspirations of a chance to play college sports — either in softball or basketball, in which she's a highly touted point guard.

The Nationals, of course, are also thankful that she's only throwing one pitch today.

Bayonne Girl's Perfect Game Gains National Recognition [Star-Ledger]
12-Year Old Girl Pitches Perfect Game Against Boys, Opposing Players Blame Cooties [Sportress]

Some kids in the Providence area were approached by Jack Ranallo, a professional (if not exceptionally skilled) con man who told them he was putting together the Rhode Island Orioles, a traveling all-star team just for them. He wasn't.

The team would be partially funded by the Baltimore Orioles since he knew people there from his minor league playing days. (The Orioles organization has no record of him playing minor league ball with them and, in fact, have never heard of him.) They would become a touring team, attending various tournaments in the area and even traveling to Cooperstown for an exhibition.

There were practices in a warehouse in Cumberland but promises of a Field of Dreams Academy under construction. There were scrimmages but no games. In a nod to one of the great fictional cons ever set to music, there were even uniforms. However, the kids had to return the uniforms after each game.

We don't see why the returning of the uniforms would arouse much suspicion; don't the Marlins have to do that?

Children's Baseball Dreams Crushed By Con Man [Sports By Brooks]

Every year there are a bunch of articles on the subject — USA Today has a good one which ran yesterday — and finally, Little League Baseball Inc. seems to be doing something about it. Many leagues will be going to a pitch count next year, so, instead of the current maximum innings limit, there will be an actual maximum number of pitches a kid can throw in any given week. (Who gets to count, we wonder? Some job). It's a good start. But this whole All-Star concept just continues to confuse us (when we think of it at all, which is almost never). Why must children be televised playing baseball in late August again? Do we really need to know that Jason's favorite food is Pepperoni Hot Pockets?

We are still waiting for that one kid who's way too big and angry looking listing his favorite player as "Brett Myers."

How Much Is Too Much For Young Arms? [USA Today]

Imbecile In The Outfield [The Black Table]