You don't get more than a quick glance at the girls, but there appears to be one blonde (who definitely looks like the Christina Rivas pictured in the Boston Herald), one brunette and one very angry boyfriend. He goes toe-to-toe with an Angels fan before security finally arrives to escort them all away. You don't see the moments before the fight started, but we're going to assume that there was heckling involved and it probably involved fat derrieres. So everyone loses.

And as a final side note: Is the stadium usher wearing a Panama hat? What lawless thug is going to respect that?

Angels Fight - Angels vs. Red Sox, Game 1 ALDS 2009 [YouTube]

The Boston Herald has the harrowing tale of two female Red Sox fans—who are also sisters (wink, wink!)—who took a terrifying journey to Angel Stadium, where they were set upon by a swarthy mob of L.A. fans who hurled "sexually explicit" insults at them, like "Hey, sit your fat (derriere) down!" And she's not even a plus-size model!

The night took a more upsetting turn for the ladies when one of their boyfriends lunged at one of the boorish "hooligans" (who is probably an illegal immigrant, btw) and security took him down with a taser. Fortunately, the completely irrelevant suitor was "hit with a weapon that only delivers a fraction of the shock of a full stun-gun blast," which made the incident slightly less traumatic for the girls, Christina Rivas, 24, and her sister, Kerrianne, 20.

Not that they will ever feel safe enough to attend a baseball game again. What if the boyfriend challenges another cop to a fight? Why must their adorable shoulders bear the weight of all mankind?

Hellish game for Sox sisters [Boston Herald]

UPDATE: Now with (possible) video of the fight!

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim California Angels won the AL West last night and then celebrated in the customary manner of wasting perfectly good alcoholic beverages by pouring them on each other. Included in the champagne and beer bath was the jersey of Nick Adenhart, the Angels pitcher who was killed back in April. By a drunk driver.

I'm not sure I would call this tribute "fitting," but at least their fallen teammate was part of the celebration. At least they have something to celebrate this year. Now how about actually beating the Red Sox this time?

[Image via ESPN/Angels]

* * * * *

It's Tuesday. Try to cheer up, will you?

It turns out that the shooter was an off-duty LAPD officer. He was at the game with his family and no one knows yet what prompted the head smashing, but there were many witness, as the parking lot was crowded with fans heading home after the Angels-Rockies game.

The officer called a dispatcher at his department and asked for help, saying two men had choked him and asked him to get away from his car, Sgt. Rick Martinez said.

One of the men was shot in the head and is in critical condition, the other is in serious but stable condition. It's the second violent incident at Angel Stadium this season, after a man died in a fight on Opening Day.

Off-duty officer shoots 2 in lot after Angels game [AP]
Off-duty officer shoots 2 men at Angels Stadium [Los Angeles Times]

It will be the first time the brothers have faced each other in a major game.

"We've talked about it for a long time," Jeff said. "Baseball works in weird ways. To be in a relief/starting role, and for it to line up in this particular fashion, it seems like it's kind of meant to be. So we're going to have fun with it, see what happens, and hopefully we'll both come out of there feeling good about what we've done."

That's all good until they find out that they both promised their dad a win for Father's Day. Someone's going to have to wake-up early tomorrow to go tie shopping.

*****

Thanks for hanging out today and Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there. I hope tomorrow brings you good beer, grilled food, and sexual favors. [Ed. note: I was sitting at the bar thinking about that last sentence and I realized that it might be taken the wrong way. I am in no way implying that you should get sexual favors from your kids for Father's Day.]

Here's a look at some of the goings on around baseball:

• Phil Hughes did his part in helping the Yankees suck by making it through just over one inning and giving up 8 runs to the Orioles before being replaced by New York's spectacular bullpen. Miraculously, the Yanks only lost 12-5.

• The amazing Zack Greinke was handed his first loss of the season by the Angels in a 1-0 LA win. Despite the loss, Greinke still pitched a four hit, one run complete game. Way to underachieve, kid.

• Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau hit back-to-back homeruns two nights in a row, a fact that does not please Mauer.
""I hit a home run, it doesn't happen a whole lot," Mauer said. "Then he's got to go back and show everybody that he can do it too." To which Morneau replied "Na na na na naa naa" and stuck his tongue out.

It's all about the moms today, so expect a lot of emotional ceremonies and junk. Today's Mother of the Year award sponsored by Joba Chamberlain.

• Screw Baseball. Screw It Right In The Ass. As of 4 p.m. today, the Yankees have spent $423 million on free agents this offseason. New York now has a record number of homeless families. Six months ago, the Yankees asked the city of New York for an additional $480 million to fund that new piece of crap stadium. They bulldozed parks that used to be playgrounds for the children of the South Bronx. There were plenty of shady backroom deals involving the market value of Yankee Stadum. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, NYC taxpayers. Get angry, because you should be. How much is too much? Personally, I'm done with baseball, until they implement a salary cap. [Babes Love Baseball]

• Christmas At The Teixeiras'. Mark — Ah, it’s good to be back in Maryland. All the stress of the last few weeks has really made me miss home. There’s no place like home for Christmas, right mom? Mark’s mom — Boooooo! Booooooo! [Bugs And Cranks]

• Yankees Land Mark Teixeira! I had wanted them to trade for Mark back when he was on Texas two seasons ago because they could have acquired him for a couple of their super hyped minor leaguers and he was young enough to warrant giving up premium talent, but they passed back then. Not today. I still think they are another bat short. Will Cashman dip in the well of free agency one more time to acquire you know who? [Pinstripe Alley]

• Teixocker! Teix Says No To Nats! In the end, Steinbrenner money is greener than Lerner money: 8 years, $180 Million greener. Don't worry, Nats fans, Jimbo has Adam Dunn on speed dial. And like a lump of coal in your stocking: Corey Patterson! (and don't forget Daniel Cabrera)! [The Nationals Enquirer]

• A Nightmare Before Christmas: Teixeira Signs With Yankees. Most fans in the Baltimore area were hoping Teixeira would defy the odds and sign with the O’s, lending the team instant credibility. Signing Teixeira would have legitimized the once proud franchise, if not in the standings (where he couldn’t win games alone) but in terms of perception. Had they signed Tex, Baltimore would have looked like a legit landing place for free agents. Now, they look like the perennial also-rans that they have been for some time. [Orioles Examiner]

• Teixeira Signs: Winners And Losers. The Losers: Manny Ramirez: Now that the Yankees have signed Teixeira they’re extremely unlikely to sign Manny. Who is going to give Ramirez the longterm contract he wants? Probably nobody (unless Ned Coletti goes on a bender). [UmpBump]

• The Recession Certainly Isn't Bothering The Evil Empire. Good lord. I honestly though that the Yankees were out of the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes, but apparently I was wrong. Not only have the Yanks signed three players in the offseason totaling $423,500,000, but they now have four of the MLB's highest paid players on their roster. And while everyone in and around Baseball is rolling their eyes, there is one man who thinks this is a great idea. Stephen A. Smith! [Awful Announcing]

From the LA Times:

And starting at first base for your 2009 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim ... Kendry Morales? Get used to it, Angels fans. Mark Teixeira is not coming back.

The Angels withdrew their eight-year offer — believed to be for $160 million — to Teixeira on Sunday afternoon, and team spokesman Tim Mead said the Angels will no longer pursue the free-agent first baseman. When pressed on whether this was a negotiating ploy, whether the Angels were playing hardball with agent Scott Boras, Mead, the team's vice president of communications, said, "We're out."

On Friday, the Red Sox had said they were out of the Teixeira market. Boston had offered an eight-year deal for about $170 million. According to the Times, the Nationals offered eight years and $160 million, and the Orioles seven years and about $150 million. And the Yankees? No offers, so far. One thing seems clear: No one's going to find Teixeira in their stocking before Christmas.

Angels Withdraw Offer To Slugger Mark Teixeira [Los Angeles Times]

Poor Rally Monkey. Still, the tiny spokesimian fared better than Craig Sager's orange clownsuit. Unfortunately for New Englanders though, he stiill has about two dozen more in his closet.

And so the Angels and the Cubs, winners of 197 games between them, will be idle after baseball's first playoff round. This is not exactly how Mike Scioscia envisioned it. Is there anyone left who thinks that fate or Bud Selig has not decreed a Manny Ramirez-Boston reunion in the World Series? That would kind of rule, actually. Phillies-Rays on the other hand would confuse foreign viewers and be a domestic ratings disaster.

How could it not be fate? Lowrie was hitting hit .213 in September, and was 2-for-10 in the series, before his game-winner. Bay, who had doubled two batters earlier, beat Willits' throw from right, sliding head first across the plate.

In the top of the ninth, pinch-hitter Kendry Morales doubled, and pinch-runner Willits took third on Jason Kendrick's sacrifice. Erick Aybar then missed completely on a 2-0 bunt suicide squeeze bunt attempt. Willits was tagged out tring to return to third. When the ball squirted out of Varitek's glove after he hit the ground, Angels manager Mike Scioscia argued unsuccessfully to umpire Tim Welke that Willits was safe.

Red Sox Knock Out Angels With Ninth-Inning Dramatics [USA Today]

Aggregate score in those 10 games: 73-28.

Twenty-two years ago, the Angels held a 3-1 series lead and were ahead 5-4 with two out in the top of the ninth of Game 5 at the Big A. Closer Moore was summoned to pitch to Henderson, who hit a two-run homer to left, with Boston going on to win the game in extra innings. The series returned to Boston and the Sox won both to advance to the World Series.

Moore, inconsolable following the game, subsequently committed suicide in 1989, although the reasons for that have less to do with baseball than many people imagine. Still, a curse is a curse (see: Cubs, Chicago), and this one seems to be flourishing.

Bay's two-out, two-run homer off John Lackey in the sixth was the big blow; Bay's first post-season homer, which really didn't have to be said seeing that he previously played for the Pirates. That super terrific happy catch pictured above is by Jacoby Ellsbury, who snared Mark Teixeira’s sinking fly to center in the eighth. Wizard Cat gives this play: Five wands.

Of course, no sooner had Bay hit the go-ahead homer than Chip Caray, the TBS lead announcer, said "Manny who?" Seriously, Chip?

The Red Sox tied a major league record for consecutive postseason wins over the same opponent, a mark Oakland set against the Red Sox from 1988-03.

The fun continues Friday night in Game 2, with Ervin Santana going for Los Angeles against Boston’s Daisuke Matsuzaka.

Red Sox Beat Angels In Game 1 [Los Angeles Times]

"I have to give credit to my teammates," Rodriguez said. "I'd be really, really selfish if I said I set it by myself. But that's what I get paid for. That's my job right there."

Mike Scioscia, that old softy, got downright misty over Rodriguez's accomplishment.

"When you're sitting on a seven-run lead, really the furthest thing from your mind is, when do you get your closer up?'' Scioscia said.

More significantly, however, the Angels now have 89 wins; giving them a one-game lead over Tampa Bay in the race for best record in the American League, and the home field advantage therein. Although with the kind of crowds the Rays draw, home field advantage isn't going to do them much good anyway.

Freeway World Series, he were come?

Angels' Francisco Rodriguez Ties Record For Saves [Los Angeles Times]

If La Russa shared Edmonds' memory loss before the game, you can be sure he remembers him now. The Cubs maintain an easy lead in the National League as the Cardinals sit seven games behind in the NL Central. The series continues this afternoon with Wellemeyer and Zambrano facing off on the mound. If anyone needs Will, he'll be at the bar drunk on wine coolers and crying in the fetal position.

• CC Sabathia pitched another complete game, his fourth since being traded to Milwaukee. Sabathia, who is unbeaten in seven starts with his new team, tossed a shutout in the Brewers 5-0 trouncing of the Nationals. Prince Fielder extended his hitting streak to eleven games with a single in the first inning and both Mike Cameron and J.J. Hardy went long for a combined three runs. The Brewers are chasing the Cubs in the NL Central while the Nationals are chasing their tails.

• Toriiiii Hunter and the Angels handed the Yankees a pounding in their 10-5 victory over New York. Hunter went 4 for 5, with a double and a home run in a big "Welcome Back" for the Yanks pitcher Ian Kennedy. Kennedy, who made it to the third inning before getting pulled from the mound, rejoined the team after Joba Chamberlain's trip to the DL. The Angels remain the best team in baseball while the Yankees remain screwed.

Anderson had a grand slam, a three-run homer and a pair of doubles — Jesus-like production — as the Angels kept pace two games ahead of the Mariners in the AL West. He's the 12th player in Major League history to get 10 or more RBI in a game; Alex Rodriguez also had 10 against the Angels on April 26, 2005. And speaking of him, he homered twice on Tuesday (41, 42). As you know, the sheer weight of A-Rod's homers in a losing cause is infinite, and if dropped would fall straight through the earth's crust, and beyond. The Major League record of 12 RBI is shared by the Cardinals' Jim Bottomley (1924) and Mark Whiten (1993), but you knew that. The AL record of 11 was set by Tony Lazzeri of the Yankees on May 24, 1936. Sorry to mention it, but Yankees are now six games behind Red Sox in the East. Mike Scioscia, by the way, has a 38-22 record against the Yankees as manager.

• An Important Part Of This Complete Breakfast. Coco Crisp and Julio Lugo each had two-run doubles as Boston beat Devil Rays 8-6. And David Ortiz, obviously excited about selling his car on the Internets, had a triple. Hmm, there's nothing in that last sentence that makes a bit of sense.

• Chicago Hope. Cliff Floyd, who had missed nine days due to the death of his father, had a go-ahead two-run single in the ninth as the Cubs beat the Giants 5-1; Chicago remaining tied with Milwaukee for first in the Central. The Brewers and Cubs meet for three at Wrigley beginning Aug. 28, which should be fun.

• Luis, Luis, Oh No. Luis Castillo singled home the winning run off of Trevor Hoffman in the ninth, the Mets beating the Padres 7-6. Carlos Beltran, five RBI.

• The Tilde Cannot Be Contained. Your AP lead of the day: DETROIT (AP) - Comerica Park is a long way from Curacao. Wait, I'm writing that down. Jair Jurrjens, who hails from the Dutch Caribbean islands, allowed only one hit through six innings, and Magglio "The Tilde" Ordonez and Carlos Guillen each homered to lead Detroit over Cleveland 2-1. Curacao is still alive in the Little League World Series, by the way.

* = Idiot.

It was Budde's first RBI and first extra-base hit in the majors. Should we now play taps for the Yankees, who are five games behind the front-running Red Sox in the East? The Angels, meanwhile, are two games head of second-place Seattle in the West. Alex Rodriguez hit his 40th home run, so there's that, Yankees fans.

• This Record Is Jenksed. It's not known whether Jim Barr was in attendance on Monday as Chicago's Bobby Jenks attempted to break the record for consecutive batters retired. No matter, the White Sox reliever entered the game in the ninth and gave up a single to Kansas City's Joey Gathright, as Jenks had to settle for sharing the record of 41 straight outs with the former Giants pitcher. He then went on to save Chicago's 4-3 win.

• The Great Race. Rick Ankiel delivers again in a big way as St. Louis beats Chicago 6-4 to draw within three games of first ... the Cubs and Brewers are tied at the top. Ankiel threw out Ryan Theriot from left field trying for a triple in the first, and also hit his fourth home run. (Ed. Note: That throw was amazing ... and kind of made us a little sad. We'll get over it.)

• Atlanta Agrees with Him. Mark Teixeira hit a pair of homers for the second consecutive game, leading the Braves over the Reds 14-4. Tim Hudson (15-5) kept his two-month unbeaten streak going.

• The Attack Of Rally Monkey. Hey, look at this: An actual sports rivalry in Los Angeles. It seems to us that the Dodgers have always owned this town, treating Angels fans like members of The Hat Squad treated mobsters in the '40s. But the Angels are becoming relevant these days, and they're beginning to actually fight back. Look at this blog throw-down from over the weekend: From Halos Heaven ... "Our team has 6 players who have been on the roster since 2002. Our team has won a playoff series in recent memory. Our team has a ring from a year that Duran Duran was not at the forefront of Pop Culture. Our team has 51 more runs scored than their's after an offseason of being scolded by the Dodger, er, Los Angeles Times that we needed a big bat. (The Dodgers) are blue, they are bitter, they are bastards. What part of this is so difficult to comprehend that we would express shock and/or dismay at their hissing from a cornered-squirrel position. To go into their house and leave with anything less than a black eye, a fat lip and a well-pitched victory would cheapen how far they have sunk, how high we have risen and how terrible the house that Garvey seeded remains." And from LAist ... "I'm a Dodger die-hard. It's in my blood. So I can't like the Angels. But do you know who I hate even more? That jackass who was sitting behind me at the game today. He and his Angel ass-kissing buddy did not stop speaking throughout the entire game. They seriously thought they were placed on this earth to be the walking and talking media guides and for three and a half hours they didn't shut up once. They loudly spewed stats and facts at each other which seemed rather pointless since obviously the other one was painfully aware of GA's batting average this year given that they are both big Angels fans, but also because the damn batting average is posted on the DodgerVision screen for everyone in the stadium to see so the fact that they could quote it meant nothing at all. Morons." Ha. Baseball in LA is fun, maybe for the first time ever.

• Oh Yeah, There Was A Game. Howie Kendrick and Orlando Cabrera each had three hits leading Los Angeles of Anaheim (we think that's right) over the Dodgers 10-4. The Angels dropped the opening game, then won the final two of the interleague series, giving them a 5-1 record against the Dodgers this season. The Angels have 44 wins, tied with the Red Sox for the most in baseball.

• We Blame Bloomberg. We Don't Know Why. Like two ships passing in the night, the Yankees and Mets are going in opposite directions (and the Mets would be the Titanic). Alex Rodriguez hit his major league-leading 27th homer, Chien-Ming Wang came within one out of a complete game and the Yankees won the second Subway Series of the season with an 8-2 victory over the Mets. Johnny Damon and Jorge Posada also homered, as the Yankees won their 11th in their past 12 games. The Mets have lost 11 of 13.

• Look Out, Mr. Peabody! What's this you say? Kevin Millwood in the win column? Marlon Byrd, a home run? Rangers 11, Reds 4, and yep, both of those things happened: Millwood's first win since April 13, and Byrd's first homer since July 4, 2006.

• Well That Was Quick. Justin Verlander lost his no-hitter in the second inning, the Tigers going on to take a 7-4 win over the Phillies.

• E! Hollywood True Story: The Rise And Fall Of Rally Monkey. A fat and underworked Rally Monkey was observed trying to purchase illegal drugs in the city of Los Angeles' notorious Skid Row district on Monday, sparking a brief police chase after which he was captured without incident. The out-of-shape simian primate has been lacking work recently as the Angels, no longer in need of his services, tear through the AL West (5 1/2 game lead, including a 23-8 home record). On Monday, Gary Matthews Jr. had four hits, including his third career grand slam, and Orlando Cabrera also had four hits to lead Los Angeles over Minesota 16-3. The Angels had 23 hits overall, and at 37-22 are off to the best start in franchise history. Jered Weaver (5-3) won his fourth straight decision. So, the Ducks, the Angels and Disneyland? Gotta love the suburbs. Your Boof Bonser update: Allowed six runs and 12 hits over 5 1/3 innings, after having won his past four starts.

• Could Have Been Worse. Could Have Been Tony Danza. With Roger Clemens still not ready to take his place in the rotation, the Yankees on Monday turned to actor Danny DeVito to give them a quality start, with disastrous results. DeVito, whose resume consisted of only one ceremonial pitch ... sorry. The truth is nearly as frightful, however. New York called up Matt DeSalvo to take what was supposed to be Clemens' first start, with the White Sox going on to take a 6-4 win on Monday. DeSalvo didn't last past a three-run second inning, while Chicago's Jon Garland (4-3) pitched into the ninth. Jim Thome hit a two-run homer in the fourth.

• Get Ready, The Alan Trammell Era Has Begun. The Chicago Cubs on Tuesday rejected Major League Baseball's four-game suspension of manager Lou Piniella, opting instead to ban him from the dugout permanantly after the team's second straight win without him. Alfonso Soriano had five hits, including a three-run homer, to lead Chicago past the Brewers 7-2. Your Carlos Marmol update: Is now 1-0 after retiring two in the sixth inning in relief of starter Jason Marquis.

• Arrrrrr. Derek Lowe had a no-hitter through six, gagged up a five-run lead, then came out the winner as the Dodgers beat the Pirates 6-5. Russell Martin's fourth homer in five starts won it.

• Visulaize It, And It Will Happen. Ichiro Suzuki's go-ahead double led the Mariners over the Orioles 7-4.

• 1. The Swingin' A's. It doesn't have quite the gravity of the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry; there's not as much history, and the weather is too nice most of the time to get cranky. But you've got to hand it to the Angels and Athletics: At least they're trying. Any time benches clear and the players actually fight, you're going to get our attention. Ironically, Tuesday's big brawl started when a player wasn't hit by a pitch. Jason Kendall charged the mound in the sixth after Angels starter John Lackey yelled at Kendall about his willingness to get hit by pitches. Kendall shouted back, then charged the mound. And because this is baseball, we have statistics on the fight: It was the A's first full-scale brawl since August 1993 at Milwaukee, and Kendall has six career ejections, including two for charging the mound. Oh, and Lackey, who was ejected, says he will appeal any suspension, "until I die." Did we mention the A's won, 10-3?

• 2. Bonds Homers, Giants Lose, Life Goes On. Meanwhile, Barry Bonds hit home run No. 712 in the Giants' 5-3 loss to San Diego, leaving him two short of Babe Ruth. It came in the eighth inning, with the Padres ahead by three and nobody on. It all seems very sad, somehow; like Bonds is taking handouts. If and when he hits No. 715, it will end up a bit of an anti-climax. Does anyone care at this point? Even Barry?

• 3. Zach Duke Loves Wrigley Field, This Much Is Clear. The Pirates' Duke has four career starts against the Cubs and is 4-0, three of those at Wrigley. The latest came on Tuesday, as Duke, in just his 20th Major League start, got his first career shutout, 8-0. In 32 career innings against the Cubs, he has an 0.56 ERA — 0.36 at Wrigley. Former Cub Jeromy Burnitz had a two-run homer for the Pirates.

• 4. Miguel Tejada Will Crush You All. Has anyone noticed that Baltimore's Miguel Tejada leads the majors in hitting? We signed on with the Miguel Tejada Experience back in Week Two, when he started crushing the ball and showed no signs of stopping. He's hitting .423, including 3-for-4 with a homer and three RBI in the Orioles' 9-2 win over the Blue Jays Tuesday. Then there's his consecutive games streak, which stands at 945, despite the fact that he has a hyper-extended knee (he's DHing).

• 5. Royals Reach New Heights Of Suckiness. A sortrait of two organizations hurtling in opposite directions. The Tigers are 5-0 on their current homestand after a 4-1 win over the Royals. In those five wins, Detroit has outscored the opposition 40-4 (the opposition in this case being the Royals and Twins. Yeah, we know). Kansas City has lost five straight and is 0-11 on the road. The major league record for road losses to start a season is 13, held by the 1969 Astros and 1988 Orioles.

• 2. Be Barry, Barry Quiet. So the unfolding strategy seems to be: Don't give Barry anything remotely close to the strike zone. San Francisco's 6-5 win over Atlanta featured Bonds walking twice, grounding out and striking out looking in four at-bats. He remains stalled at 708 home runs in his quest to have an asterisk placed by his career total. On Friday a San Francisco talk host (Damon Bruce of KNBR-Sportsfone 68) said that he wondred why pitchers weren't throwing at Bonds. "If a guy was taking steroids and jacking balls out of the park on me, I'd throw at him." Hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

• 3. It's Willis And Pray For Four Days Of Rain. You gotta feel for Dontrelle Willis. And Marlins fans. The only marquee player Florida has remaining — and its only real chance to win any game these days — lost a battle with the Mets' Tom Glavine, 3-2. (OK, fine, Miguel Cabrera too.) David Wright's triple in the seventh and sacrifice fly in the ninth drove in all of New York's runs, giving the Mets a 4-1 start, after beginning 0-5 last season. Get ready, by the way, to hear the term "pitching duel" a lot in connection with Willis this season.

• 4. The Amazing Adventures Of Michael Barrett.Quite a weekend for Michael Barrett, whose grand slam off Jason Isringhausen in the eighth led the Cubs over the Cardinals 8-4 Sunday night to complete a three-game sweep, causing us, as Keith Olberman once famously said, to "Drool the drool of regret into the pillow of remorse." (We're over it now). In Friday's opener, Barrett caught Greg Maddux's 319th win, and on Saturday hit a game-tying pinch-hit home run. Off the field, however, his living room was crushed by a tree during a tornado in his hometown. His parents didn't tell him about it until after the series.

• 5. Hit This If You Can. We love knuckleball pitchers. They're baseball's throwbacks, the last of a dying tribe, getting by with guile and deception in a world of power and bravado. Tim Wakefield used his Wiffle Ball-like talents to baffle the Baltimore Orioles on Sunday, not such a hard thing to do, granted, but he earned a 4-1win nonetheless. Wakefield pitched six perilous innings without allowing an earned run, Adam Stern drove in two runs for the Red Sox, whose 5-1 start is their best since 1999. Somewhere Jimmy Fallon is thinking sequel.