•Halfway through a wholly unexciting opening night, Troy Polamalu sprained his MCL and could miss 3-to-6 weeks. Steeler fans' humility, however, is listed as doubtful and is expected to report to your office this morning to brag about the game.

•The lawyer for Ben Roethlisberger's accuser says he could ask for a list of all of Big Ben's sexual partners. If just one native Pittsburgh girl is on that list, I'll lose all respect for him.

•Would it shock you to learn that Manny Ramirez has no recollection of ever playing with Jim Thome, his teammate of eight seasons? Well, prepare to be not shocked.

•The Daily News passes along the rumor that Cablevision will offer LeBron James his own TV channel if he joins the Knicks. I know I've used the buddy-cop-show joke before, but I would pay good money to see him fight crime with Darko.

•Two missed practices, and Richard Seymour is nowhere in sight. Still, this is Oakland, so maybe he was just carjacked.

•A judge has raised the possibility that neither Jim Balsillie nor the league will be allowed to purchase the Coyotes. A suggestion: disgraced Predators owner Boots Del Biaggio, in lieu of jail time, be sentenced to buy the Coyotes.

•Maya Angelou gives her predictions for the NFL season, in poem! Obviously it's not really her. But it's a sight better than Gregg Easterbrook's horrible haikus.

•Finally, though my feelings on poker can be summed up as "not a sport," this is the most amazing read you'll ever see:

It's obvious that the Boston Globe has been sitting on this story a while, waiting to connect it to something larger, but they're going with it now while the BoSox steroid iron is hot. It's the type of investigative journalism that's too common these days: it's clear the paper worked long and hard on this, and the page one placement and length make it seem like it should be really important, but in the end it leaves you feeling a little cold, and confused.

The facts are that two members of Red Sox security were investigated by MLB for steroid use, and subsequently let go by the team. That's all. But the juiciest stuff is in the implications, which remain only implications. It's likely the Globe was following those bread crumbs when the Times scooped them this week.

Alex Cyr was busted with a vial of steroids last July, which started everything unraveling. Cyr was more than security, he was a part-time assistant to Manny Ramirez, often running errands for the slugger. Implication number one.

Cyr told investigators he bought his steroids from co-worker Jared Remy (son of NESN broadcaster Jerry). Remy, for his part, was very close to Felix Leopoldo Marquez, and claims he and Marquez openly discussed and used steroids together. Marquez was a salaried personal assistant to David Ortiz. Implication number two.

But, again, the good stuff — the stuff the Globe wishes it could report, and the stuff fans want to read — just isn't here. But, fortuitously for this story's chance at having legs, that's not going to stop anyone from inferring that steroids were everywhere in Fenway and everyone knew about them. The lesson here: in the middle of a witch hunt, implications are all you need.

Sox Fired Two In Steroids Case [Boston Globe]

For starters, David Ortiz being on the juice makes it harder for Schilling to raise his kids. This is a teachable moment, of course, but the important thing to remember is that you should not be a phony. But is Curt Schilling shocked by the revelations about his former teammates? Can anything shock him?

I mean come on. Our stinking President had sex with a woman half his age in the oval office and looked straight into the camera in his best Rafael Palmeiro impersonation and said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." No, his comments don't make it more surprising.

Tough, but fair. (Although technically, Raffy was impersonating him.) But what about the rest of list?

If this is going to continue, MLB and the game would be far better served by just rolling them all out, right now. It wasn't fair when Alex was outed on his own, and neither is this. It's a field day for sports journalists with no talent, because their story is written for them.

As a sports journalist with no talent, I am forced to agree with that. If, for example, a heroic baseball pitcher were suddenly outed as a cheater that post would write itself and I would become rich. Plus, at my elementary school Field Days every one got a ribbon just for participating, and I really appreciated that.

Oh, I almost forgot. Hey Curt, what about that whole breaking the curse and winning two titles with tainted players?

This makes me laugh. I have already seen the bandwagon fans start the *04 and *07 threads and remarks, people with teams who are far deeper into this than most other teams - as if this makes it all OK. Every team going back 10-15 years needs an * if you want to consider giving it to anyone. The hard part is that it's turning into a situation where we are seeing every single GREAT player in the past 10 years caught, and they're dragging what we thought were the majority, and are now turning into the minority, down with them.

So no regrets then?

Questions and answers on the David Ortiz news [38 Pitches]

Poor Pedro Gomez drew the short stick and got on the phone today with the Juice Prophet, who continues to prove that you can be totally in the right about something and still sound like an utter boob:

"If you were in the game in the last 20 years, there's a 95 percent chance you were knowingly using something,'' Canseco said. "I said 80 percent back then because that was the number of players that I knew were on. But that number was greater.''

This translates roughly to, "That number I pulled out of my ass a few years back is smaller than the number I'm pulling out of my ass right now."

Canseco says MLB facing bigger issue [ESPN]

As everyone will gladly point out, 2003 was Ortiz's first season in Boston. It was also the season he saw a significant improvement in his stats. He set then career highs in HR and RBI and saw his .OPS jump about 130 points. This is also the first time Manny has been connected to the 2003 tests, even though he was suspended 50 games this year for the same offense. They join Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Jason Grimsley and David Segui as the players who have been outed from the infamous list of 104 violators.

Ortiz offered no comment when asked about it today, but in February he was quoted saying that those who violate baseball's drug policy should be suspended for a full year. And yes, the lawyers who gave this info to the Times, have quite possibly broken a law.

Ortiz and Ramirez Said to Be on 2003 Doping List [NY Times]

UPDATE: From the Boston Globe: "One of the worst fears of Red Sox fans has apparently come true this afternoon."

Report: Ortiz, Ramirez said to be on 2003 doping list [Boston Globe]

Bill Plaschke is like the nerd who can't understand why the head cheerleader prefers to date the quarterback and not him. He's no good for you! He's just a musclehead! I'm the one who really cares about you! Grandpa Grumpypants seems constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown and his lament to Dodger fans today is that you shouldn't love someone who doesn't love you back.

After blowing off honesty, accountability and one-third of the season, Manny Ramirez did something more egregious in his return to Dodger Stadium on Thursday.

He blew off Mannywood.

In the first inning of his first appearance in a left-field corner adorned with the "Mannywood 99" banner and filled with hundreds of loving fans who paid a premium for their proximity, Ramirez acted as if none of it existed.

Interesting. Or ...

Maybe I'm crazy, but doesn't it kind of look like he's acknowledging them there? Plaschke complains that Manny didn't throw the Mannywood fans—who pay extra to sit in that section—a warmup ball, but that he "threw it in the left-field stands instead." Again, I'm not a expert, but isn't Mannywood in the left-field stands? Isn't the gesture the same no what which set of seats the ball happens to land in?

Plaschke again goes into the crowd, desperate to find someone (anyone!) who will boo Manny. He owes you! Why can't you people see that? Only one lone soul half-heartedly yells "cheater" and then gives up, because he's a Manny fan too. Even worse, Manny interrupted a Joe Torre press conference, something Bill Plaschke has NEVER SEEN IN ALL HIS YEARS. The disrespect to Torre is mind-boggling!

"Nobody says its OK to violate rules, but he took his punishment and fans came here to be entertained," Torre said.

Entertained? That's just silly.

(Oh, and he also thinks Dodger Stadium should be razed but that's another column.)

Manny Ramirez shows little gratitude to his fans [LA Times]
Boo-birds extinct in Mannywood [Yahoo]

This whole situation is putting such a strain on Bill that there's concern he may be starting to crack. Four of his last five columns in the L.A. Times have been Manny-centric—the fifth was his predictable harrumphing about the Ron Artest signing—with the overarching theme being that Manny has not been punished enough for his crimes against baseball's humanity. Of course, all of these missives came after his brave Twitter stance that he was not going to be a party to this comeback charade.

I didn't go to albuquerque, and I won't go anywhere else he "rehabs.". He shouldn't be allowed to touch a bat for 50 games period

His very next Tweet?

Just got to lake elsinore for second stop in manny rehab tour. Its about 200 degrees. Poor manny. A teammate probably assigned to fan him

So I guess by "won't go" he really meant to say "will definitely be at." An honest mistake. His column from Lake Elsinore was about an epic quest to find even one Dodger fan who would buy ticket to a Class A game in 100+ degree heat simply to boo a dreadlocked cheater. To his eternal frustration, Plaschke's roll came up snake eyes.

Surely, somebody will hold him accountable for a 50-game suspension for violating baseball's drug policy?

Surely somebody would let him know that, because he has yet to offer any true remorse or explanation since his May 7 suspension, somebody was going to publicly wonder why?

He had appeared in two games at triple-A Albuquerque, where he was showered with love, but folks down there rarely see a celebrity that didn't come out of a UFO, so they can be excused.

Dodgers fans are tougher, right?

Ramirez was going to be, um, needled, right?

This was my hope as I walked over to a dozen blue-jersey-wearing fans lining a white fence that led from the parking lot to the visitors' clubhouse....

OK, fine, I gave the people a pass because they had waited in subhuman heat to see their hero, maybe their heads were as mottled as Ramirez's testosterone levels ....

The mistake here is all mine, thinking that one of these thousands of Dodgers fans among the crowd of 8,099 would act a little, I don't know, angry?

No such luck for Plaschke, however. Manny's fans still like him. He signed autographs. He hit a home run! Yet, they refuse to boo. Manny cheated Bill Plaschke out of ... something. Why won't they make him pay for it? At least, Manny's next stop (an actual MLB game in San Diego) did provide Bill with a small moment of solace:

David eckstein, toiling in obscurity in sd, is my favorite world series mvp ever

Of course.

SoCal really lets Manny have it . . . with love [LA Times]
Bill Plaschke @ LAT (BillPlaschke) [Twitter]

Well, that was a quick 50 games. Manny Ramirez returned from his summer vacation last night, going 0 for 3 with a walk in a 6-3 L.A. win over San Diego. None of his MLB-leading Dodger teammates could be reached for comment, however, as they were all too busy cramming fertility drugs in his celebratory champagne.

******

Good morning, and Happy July 4th. We've got Wimbledon! We've got Tiger! And...um...hopefully some late-breaking athlete-related fireworks mishaps!

Wake up, boys and girls in America.

The 'Topes pulled in a record 54,763 fans for the series, and I'm guessing more were interested in seeing Manny than the Nashville Sounds. Ill-gotten gains, you say? So does Albuquerque President Ken Young, who donated $10,000 to the Taylor Hooton Foundation, an anti-steroid charity. "I'm not going to say they're not connected," he said (or didn't say).

Manny's stay wasn't without drama. A standing room only crowd was disappointed when he left the stadium 40 minutes into a 54-minute rain delay. But no worries: refunds for everyone!

Said Manny:

You know me. Occasionally, I'll be quirky...'I'll be quirky.' Albuquerque! I'll be right back!

No, actually that was minor league baseball enthusiast and former major league mascot Homer Simpson.

Joe Torre said they were leaning toward the Class A affiliate in San Bernardino last week, but I guess Joe Torre says a lot of things. Instead the Los Angeles slugger—you know, I heard there was a murder in Los Angeles once and they never found the guy who did it—will join the AAA Isotopes tonight, the only team to get its nickname from a prime-time cartoon. The 'Topes average nearly 7,000 fans per game, but a team official said yesterday that Johnny Lunchpails and Suzy Housecoats had already yoinked up 11,000 extra tickets in two days. They are also out of Bort license plates.

Translation: No one cares how much nerve tonic the guy drinks, fans love their eccentric, dreadlocked sluggers. (Although, he could stand to be Rastafied another 10%.) If you miss this, you better be dead or in an Albuquerque jail and if you're in jail, tie an onion on your belt or something.

Manny Ramirez's fission statement in Albuquerque [Los Angeles Times]

Manny Ramirez is eligible to re-join the Dodgers on July 3, but because being suspended 50-games for PED use is exactly like pulling a hamstring, Manny will go on a minor league "rehab" assignment first. The Dodgers indicated that his first game could be for the Inland Empire 66ers next Thursday. What the heck is an Inland Empire 66er? Glad you asked!

Where/what is Inland Empire? Inland Empire is the colloquial term for the eastern part of Southern California that does not touch the Pacific Ocean (i.e., the dry, dusty, annoying part.) The team plays its home games at Arrowhead Credit Union Park in scenic San Bernardino. Come for the freeways, stay for the brush fires! Their full official name is actually the Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernardino, which makes the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim seem quaint.

What's a 66er? Route 66, dummy. Yes, they are named after a road that symbolized independence and adventure for a entire generation of annoying beatniks. Ask your dad.

Why would anyone play baseball in San Bernandino? The team actually relocated from Salinas after relocating from Fresno, two other hot beds of hardball. They've also been known as the Spirit and the Stampede, which are just as non-threatening as a two-lane highway.

Dear God, what is that thing? That's Bernie, the San Bernandino ... guy? According to his bio, Bernie was originally the mascot of the Utah Grizzlies, even though he does not appear to have any bear-like qualities. Looks like a damn dirty hippie to me.

Are these guys any good? No! The 66ers are currently 3rd in the California League South Division, 13 games back.

Is Manny the best player that will ever wear their uniform? Almost. Ken Griffey Jr. played 58 games in San Bernardino, but that was actually a different organization that relocated to Rancho Cucamonga and sold their nickname to the current S.B. team. Other notable alumni—of the town, if not the exact team—include Felix Hernandez, Adrian Beltre, Mac Suzuki, Paul Konerko and Mike Hampton, who may or may not be there on a rehab assignment right now.

So that's all you need to know, really. Starting next Thursday they play three at Lake Elisnore followed by a homestand against the rival(?) Rancho Cucamonga Quakes, all within driving distance of Manny's Pasadena home. So get your kicks with Inland Empire. Unless the Dodgers change their mind and I've just wasted all of our time.

Inland Empire 66ers [ie66ers.com]
Joe Torre: Manny Ramirez could start at Class A next week [ESPN]

Ramirez's suspension restricts him from addressing reporters, but to be fair, what Ramirez said could hardly be called that. He doesn't want to be a distraction, he apologized to the people he needed to apologize to, he wants to move on, he's ready to leave it all out on the field and let his game speak for him, he wants to give 120 percent, he's looking forward to having fun with his teammates, he's beginning to lactate, etc. etc.

Is he sorry for what he did? "That's what I said," he answered. Must have missed that.

And Manny wouldn't Be Manny if he didn't drop some perspective on everyone before leaving:

"I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it..."

Give the guy a break already.

Manny Ramirez visits with teammates [ESPN]
Ramirez speaks but says little about suspension [LA Times]

Consider Jason Rosenberg, the 39-year-old founder of the Vote For Manny b-log, a social rebel. After reading that the suspended Dodgers star — yes, the real one — was fourth in All-Star voting, Rosenberg took to the interwebs and made a site to urge fellow purists to vote for Ramirez and bring attention to the absurdity of Major League Baseball's PED policy. But people misinterpreted the site as a nest for Manny fanboys, which forced Rosenberg to clarify his position. A vote for Manny, you see, is a vote for hope and change. And who doesn't love that?

The perfect storm is on the horizon: Manny being elected a starter in the ASG. A vote for Manny is merely a statement to MLB that the rules need to be changed. It's not a vote for Manny, the player. Sure, the LA fans might actually want to see Manny, but that only highlights the point earlier; fans root for the laundry.

Then Rosenberg used his 15 minutes on the bully pulpit to inform his new readers how he would change the All-Star Game, so I surfed over to Buster Olney's blog, where he pointed out the futility of the grassroots movement's inspiration.

All of this (plus Ramirez's performance on the field in the last two months of last season) will make Manny a very formidable candidate in the weeks ahead. If you are waiting to see if the commissioner is going to step in and say, with some fair logic, that all players suspended for the use of banned substances or performance-enhancing drugs are ineligible for baseball's midsummer classic, well, that almost certainly is not going to happen. Such a policy would have to be collectively bargained between the owners and the union.

Either way, both Rosenberg and Olney point out, Ramirez isn't likely to play in the All-Star Game. His teeth will probably hurt, or something like that.

Fan starts "Vote For Manny" Web site [AP]
The Manny candidacy gains stream [Buster Olney]
A bit more on "Vote For Manny" [It's About The Money, Stupid]