Deadspin: maps

South Carolina Needs A Spokesperson!

rickchand — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:35:44 EDT

Just over at the South Carolina Tourisim official site, and do you know what? They don't have a spokesperson. This should be remedied, and of course there are only two candidates who could handle it. Miss Teen South Carolina; and Blowie, the mascot for the Coastal Plain League Columbia, S.C. Blowfish.

The resumes:

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina:

• Recently finished third in the Miss Teen USA Pageant, hosted by Mario Lopez.
• Has her own Myspace page.
• Believes that all U.S. Americans should have maps, such as.
• Will attend Appalachian State to study graphic design. South Africa.

Blowie:

• Kids love Blowie.
• The only minor league baseball mascot who is potentially lethal when not cooked properly.
• Blowie is available for bachelor parties and bar mitzvahs.
• Requires detailed directions (Blowie cannot read maps).

There you have it; a bit of whimsy for you and me on a Friday, but something that is deadly serious to South Carolinians, let me assure you. With luck, one of our two candidates will be in place in time for the state's Presidential primary. It's just too bad that Strom Thurmond is unavailable to make this a three-way race, due to being dead.

Minor Enterprise: Hey Kids, It's Blowie! [Deadspin]
I Can Haz Maps Of The Iraq, And Such As? [Deadspin]

I Can Haz Maps Of The Iraq, And Such As ... ?

rickchand — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 12:35:44 EDT

We've had some fun at the expense of our friend Lauren Caitlin Upton, the Miss Teen South Carolina who mangled a beauty pageant question so completely on Friday that the entire world is talking about it. Such as. But now it seems some real good has come of all this. A new web site has launched, Mapsforus.org, dedicated to bringing our children the maps they so desperately need.

From the site:

The children of the US America are in deep trouble. Because some people out there don't have maps. Such as South Africa. Therefore, you must email us maps to make it better. EMAIL: maps AT mapsforus.org. Our views of Attack of the Show's webpage will encourage our children to believe that there is a future outside of Asia. A future with maps. And such. South Africa.

My favorite map on there so far is the Mt. St. Helens Park/Road Access map, one which I have actually used. And the comments section is fun as well.

Meanwhile, Ms. Upton appeared on The Today Show on Tuesday to face the super-heated journalistic tribunal which is a Matt Lauer interview. And she did quite well (ding!). For our children.

Maps For Us.org
Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts [Deadspin]
Miss Teen South Carolina On The Today Show [YouTube]

Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts

rickchand — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:40:21 EDT

She captivated the nation with her controversial stances on maps, and "the Iraq, everywhere such as." Yesterday we showed you the video of her performance at the Miss Teen USA Pageant, and like the rest of "U.S. Americans," you instantly fell in love. Now, here's more of Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upland, including photos, and her dreams for the future.

Plus, we give you a handy, informative Miss Teen South Carolina tube map found over at The Morning Toast. Enjoy.

The baseball team pictured above, by the way, is the Anderson Joes (Independent South Coast League), named for Shoeless Joe Jackson and based in Anderson, South Carolina. Now I'm going to go watch the video again; really, it never gets old.

And of all the great comments so far, one of the best is "Does the bell mean nothing??"

South Carolina School System, We Salute You [Deadspin]
I'm Sorry I Missed The Miss Teen USA Pageant [The Morning Toast]