I'm not good at estimating crowds, but there must be at least 200 people down there on the intersection of Franklin and Columbia. (Give or take 30,000.) Street signs were destroyed, things were set ablaze, and high-voltage infrastructure was heroically scaled. What is it about mobs that makes them lose all sense of judgment and good taste? ("See that light pole there? I should be on top of it!")

And can someone please explain fire jumping to me? Where is the rush there?

Anyway, I'm glad that we've just accepted that this is par for the course in any town, following any major sports victory. It can't be explained or justified in any way, but as long as these celebrations stay one level short of ritualistic murder, it's all good.

And despite the "relative calm" up north, Spartan revelers still managed more arrests and more fires this weekend. Face! (No tear gas, though, sadly.) Say what you want about the East Lansing police force—they are persistent.

Fans celebrate in Chapel Hill; 10 taken to hospital [Charlotte Observer]
Franklin Street: The Celebration [Daily Tar Heel]
Cheers, no tears [State News]
10 Heels Taken to Hospital; 21 Spartans Arrested [The Jock Itch]

The frustrating Michigan State team returned—the team that beats itself with bad decisions and worse shooting. They didn't lose a lot this season, but when they did lose, they lost bad and tonight was no exception. I guess the Spartans did better than they did in the December matchup, but not much. They were out of this game four minutes into it and I guess they didn't give up, but they certainly never had a chance. Sigh.

Make no mistake, though—North Carolina is awesome. With everyone on board, they were one of the most complete teams you will ever see. They made winning look effortless. Even if Michigan State cuts their turnovers in half and makes a few more threes, they probably still lose by 10. Obviously, we all would have preferred a more competitive final, but this outcome was inevitable from the first practice way back in October.

So the best team won, Michigan will go back to being a depressed and lonely place, and I just hope that somewhere in the student ghetto of Cedar Village, thousands of drunkards will refrain from embarrassing the Michigan State name one more time. Try to keep the fires under control, kids ... it's a school night.

SN on streets of East Lansing: "Everyone appears to be in good spirits." [The State News on Twitter]

Second Half

12:09 — [wipes tear from eye] There's just something about One Shining Moment that draws all the remaining cynicism from my lower intestine and converts it into dreams and rainbows for babies with AIDS. Despite the horrible game, I am at peace. No worries, though. I will continue to seek out petty annoyances, build them up internally, and let them flush out in the form of Deadspin's next live blog. Until then, comrades, please tell Sandy I said "WHEEEEEEEEEE!"

12:05 — Awkwardest music transition in sports broadcasting history: peppy basketball band music to Masters coverage piano melody. And now ... SHINE ON.

12:00 — IT'S MIDNIGHT AND I DON'T HAVE A SHINY SHINY MONTAGE YET.

11:58 — I'll give North Carolina this. With all those walrus-vomit-colored championship t-shirts that have come out over the years, it was nice of them to simplify with a blue "1" and an NC shield-looking thing.

11:51 — Oh, you think I'm done, bitches? We still have a fuckin' tear-jerking montage to sit through!

11:50 — Gleh. The important thing is that unemployment has ABSOLUTELY NO CORRELATION to basketball. (Exception: Billy Gillispie)

11:48 — I think I just saw Hansbrough's Elated Face. I will now be flaccid for the next 72 hours.

11:46 — GO CRAZY, SANDY! GO CRAZY!

72 89

11:45 — UNC calls a timeout to sub in the "fan favorites" for the "actual fan favorites, you know, the ones that scored all the points this season."

11:43 — I don't know what I did to deserve the presence of Idong Ibok on the court, but there he is.

11:37 — No, Jim Nantz, this was not their chance to revitalize the Michiganian economy. Have you seen Raymar Morgan's plan to create new jobs? "Just have everyone put on a mask like mine?" How is that a viable solution?

11:35 — The camera pans to the UNC bench. Look at them. Ha! Know what they all have in common? That's right, they're all ... immune to sickle cell anemia.

11:33 — It's not that people are outraged over spending 50 cents without getting a bun. It's that, without bread, people can actually taste how terrible a hot dog really is.

11:31 — I think Mr. Kellogg said something about Michigan State having to cut the lead to 10 points by this time. It's now 15 with the Heelies possessing the ball. Goodnight, Mid-Michigan!

65 80

11:28 — I will say this. MSU has not relented in drawing contact and shooting free throws. That's what's kept this game from being, well, over. If it was over, I'd be asleep by now. This is the cross Big Ten basketball has to bear.

11:24 — Stay tuned for an all new NCIS in which, just like this game, they nail the criminal 10 minutes in and then you get to watch 50 minutes of lawyers doing paperwork.

11:21 — And Gutsbrough moves up the all-time NCAA tournament career scoring list. Not sure where they keep that list. Probably in a safe place.

11:21 — Suton's elbows. Baby pandas eating your babies. DO NOT PROSECUTE THEM.

11:19 — With seven-and-a-half minutes left, I see no better time to start automatically fouling. That way foulouts will force Idong into the game.

11:16 — Look, a Vince Carter sighting! Wave to him, Canada!

11:13 — Oh, the quietly developing battle, beyond American Cars v. Foreign Cars and Apple vs. PC is Every Freaking Investing Company vs. Every Other One. Too bad TD Ameritrade got first pick in the playground draft. Sam Waterston just sweats integrity. He makes me want to talk to Chuck, but only to say "Up yours, carpetbagger!"

53 72

11:11 — "Maybe if they can make a couple of threes..." A gaudy qualifier, Clark Kellogg.

11:10 — It's free throws the rest of the way for MSU. That is the other bright spot. Just like the sunroof in the new Ford Focus. Ford: They're Cars™.

11:08 — Boy, the Spartan faithful sure remain vibrant in this game. Though, in all fairness, there is nowhere else to go that doesn't end in a good ol' shivving.

11:05 — Goran Suton's elbows are apparently considered federally protected baby pandas.

11:00 — As we go to break, perhaps Sparty can hem the shorts of all the UNC players in the huddle, resulting in 12 technical fouls and 24 free throws.

46 65

11:00 — Oh, never mind.

10:59 — THEY'VE CUT IT TO 16! HELEN WOULD LIKE A RASPBERRY DAIQUIRI!

10:56 — Eyelids. That's the problem. Tyler Hansbrough lacks eyelids! Will any lovelorn and/or goth girls donate theirs for a transplant?

10:53 — This seems like as good a time as any to put in Idong Ibok. I have some jokes in my Bindle of Wit ripe and ready for it.

10:51 — If you're just joining us, it's a VERY CLOSE GAME AND YOU SHOULD STAY PUT. Any scores you see on the TV and/or Internet are merely typographical errors and will be fixed at the end of the game.

41 61

10:50 — Oh, c'mon. Lawson bogarts his eighth pass in wild, unpredictable fashion. Well, nine, if you count Sandy's heart.

10:46 — So here's a fun* experiment. Try and guess at what point in time UNC will have scored as many points as State will the entire game. I'm saying "12:14" and "66" points.

* - Okay, YOU think of something better to do. Wait, no, DON'T LEAVE ME.

10:45 — And we're back to game action, however that's defined today.

10:41 — Wouldn't hurt just to have Bird and Magic play one-on-one for 20 minutes. Wait, who am I kidding? I'll just play Magic Johnson's Fast Break.

What To Look For In The Second Half

Will Sandy find true love? Will Helen get her feet rubbed? And featuring special guest star, Dr. Joyce Brothers.

Halftime

Now's the time to potty, smoke, stretch, scratch, and measure the distance between East Lansing and your place of residence, so as to calculate how long you have until the blaze reaches you and everything you live. Then enjoy our halftime edu-tainment.

First Half

34 55

10:21 — A quick game of NCAA Indoor Tennis breaks out, and ... that's the half. As much as I love the company ... holy shit, save yourselves. I'll letcha know if this bastard becomes interesting. I mean ... KEEP WATCHING HIT F5

10:20 — It's a three on zero! And ... oh, nobody picks up Ellsworth. SANDY NEEDS A LOZENGE!

10:16 — The State defense forces a timeout as Ty Lawson falls victim to the "Moe Howard" stance.

10:14 — The Mentalist is on Tuesday night, it seems. See, if you read Deadspin comments, this is new information for you.

10:14 — Well, look at this. A coupla stops in a row, and the lead's down to 18.

10:12 — Y'know, maybe Michigan State needs their own loud cheering lady. Perhaps that's what'll spur a comeback. We'll give them "Helen." You can't hear her, but just pretend.

10:09 — And with that timeout, here's to seeing if we can get the font right this time.

25 48

10:07 — SANDY CANNOT CONTAIN HERSELF! (Seriously. It's like they don't know she's there.)

10:05 — A pass slips through MSU's fingers. So much for the Canola Oil timeout gambit.

10:04 — Re: big font. Look, occasionally I'm just trying to cater to Deadspin often-overlooked nonagenarian demographic.

10:02 — Oh, sure, the ONE TIME Sandy is mum.

10:00 — Just the kind of news Lansing needed! Raymar Morgan, the one with the mask, goes down for the count. Clap hard, Lansing! Clap as hard as you can to bring him back to life!

18 38

9:56 — I can't help but think that all these offensive rebounds are the difference in this game. As opposed to all those offensive rebounds my college girlfriend slept with.

9:54 — A goaltending call on Heartsbrough, keeping the lead at a svelte 20 points, pushes the momentum in the Spartans favor, the way that Wile E. Coyote's umbrella pushed away those boulders.

9:53 — Gak. 23-point lead. 29 minutes left. How about I switch over to the A's-Angels game at halftime?

9:49 — Sure was nice of Radford to fill in for those first 10 minutes while Michigan State ran out and satisfied their Qdoba jones. Now, how about a good game here? Sandy's seat is becoming moister by the minute.

9:47 — [Fixes font. You saw nothing.]

11 24

9:42 — Phew. After all that flotsamming and jetsomming, the Heels still retain a double-digit lead over the Honda lawnmower.

9:40 — Chris Allen will now try those "free throws" all the kids are doing. His major: Computer Engineering. NERD! He makes 1 of 2. score++; //never forget the semicolon

9:39 — Danny Green picked up back-to-back fouls, which is the silver lining in Michigan State's game. Just like the new silver trim on the sporty new Chevy Silverado. American Cars for American-Looking Folks™.

9:38 — The lead is already 15 points. Probably wasn't a wise move to start Zach Miner for this game.

9:36 — This is unreal. After a UNC basket, Ty Lawson rapes and/or pillages the inbounds pass, and eventually the possession leads to more points. Sandy approves.

9:34 — That screaming lady catching the telecast microphone? For simplicity's sake, I'm going to call her Sandy.

9:32 — Meanwhile, GM takes the lead with the "rally cap" hat commercial. Remember, wear your hats inside out and not backwards, because that's what Detroit gangs are prone to do.

7 17

9:31 — State's rushing their shots, but the Heels are rushing them better, it seems. It's getting uglier than a Hansbrough O-face.

9:29 — It wouldn't hurt CBS at all if they lowered the volume of everything else but the announcers and that screaming woman in the 14th row.

9:28 — Fouling Tyler Hansbrough carries a $25 fine in Chapel Hill. UNC's props their lead up to five points.

9:26 — 3-point tradesies. "Dibs," "not it" and "back cuts" are still up for grabs. 5-3 Heels.

9:25 — And the Heels break the scoreboard cherry 14 seconds in. Not sure if that's legal in Michigan.

9:24 — And there's the tip ... oh, jump ball. Still tied, then.

Telecast

9:18 — OH NO TWITTER IS DOWN WHO DO MY FAVORITE CELEBRITIES HAVE WINNING THIS GAME?

9:14 — Please don't mention "destiny" as a factor in the game. Makes it sound so ... final. Why even try boxing out?

Pre-Game Babble

They just had to schedule this the same night as Opening Day, didn't they? Judging by the Tigers-Jays score, maybe that was a wise move.

Anyways, let's get right down to the action. Here's the analysis you won't get anywhere else. Everyone thinks Chevrolet is going to walk away with the victory tonight, but I don't know. Those Ford guys are really scrappy. Especially their used cars. Yes, everyone is going to point to the rout last December in car sales, but it's a very different ballgame today. It will be closer than this double-digit profit margin everyone's talking about, but I still think Chevrolet, with the combination of Howie Long and that terribly irritating little red-headed girl, will pull out the victory tonight.

I'm live blogging a two-hour car commercial, right? I mean, I assumed that's why it's in Detroit. And for what it's worth, I had my bracket all wrong. I had Chrysler, Honda, Saturn, and Rickshaw, Inc. as my Cinderella team.

By the way, in my haphazard Mateen Cleaves research, I discovered that he's still trying, God bless him. Tell Khalid El-Amin he still has my Vertical Horizon poster.

Ballard was walking back to his hotel after Saturday night's semi-final games at Ford Field when he stopped to assist a man who appeared to be suffering a seizure on a sidewalk. When the mayor stopped, two or three other men surrounded him and stole his cell phone from his pockets, the mayor's office said.

I suppose that's one way for tourists to contribute to the economy of Southeast Michigan. Not that anything like that would ever happen in Indy, where the Final Four will be next year.

Michigan State Police had issued a law enforcement warning in advance of the event that a nationally known group of professional pickpockets was expected to arrive for the event.

A nationally known group of professional pickpockets? Why does this sound like the pitch of a Nicholas Cage movie?

Indy mayor says he was victim of pickpockets at Final Four [Detroit News]
Detroit pickpockets grab Ballard's phoneIndianapolis Star [Indy Star]

You know I'm usually not one for trash talking, especially after the fact, but ... screw the Big East. The "greatest conference of all time" had three number one seeds this year and the ugly, brutish Big Ten beat two of them. Easily. And they scored 80 points doing it. (Sorry, Digger Phelps!) They don't play that way because they can't play any other way—or because Leitch and I enjoy it so much—they play that way because it works.

Now that I got that "no one believed in us" crap out of my system, I can just sit back and enjoy Monday night. I don't know if Michigan State can beat North Carolina, and I don't really care. The Tar Heels are finally starting to look like the team that dismantled the Spartans back in December; I just hope it will be closer than 35 points this time. But everyone knew they were the best team then and everyone knows they are the best team now and if UNC wins the title, so be it.

Because I do believe they are going to play the second-best team in the country and I'm just glad that State was able to prove it. I didn't get to Detroit this weekend or get alcohol poisoning on Cedar Street, but I think my downstairs neighbors know what's what. Plus, the Spartans sent a message and the State of Michigan got at least one nice victory—and three million new jobs, right?—and that's enough for me this year. Big bad UConn got pushed around last night and the looks on the players' faces as that realization slowly came over them was all I needed to see.

Police disperse Cedar Village crowd; few incidents reported [The State News]

Of course, you probably didn't need the picture and headline to guess that the hulking figure in question was Tyler Hansbrough. Psycho T. The Great White Pope. (That's not a typo.) The man, the myth ... the Claymation legend.

I don't know who put together this delicious Play-Doh tribute to North Carolina's greatest champion or how many man hours it took to create it, but I'm just glad there's an internet on which to share it. You should tell your grandkids about this someday.

Ty Hanosaurus Rex [YouTube]

In Sunday's Albany Times Union, one Ohio man lets the paper know that the rowdy Saints fans upset the delicate sensibilities of many people present at UD Arena during the first two rounds of the tournament.

Thank God Siena fans have left Dayton, Ohio! Your local fans were anything but saints when they were in Dayton for the NCAA Tournament. The students were drunk, rude and profane. Worst yet, the adults, alumni and parents were just as bad. Thank the UD Arena security officer's restraint for not throwing all of them out on Sunday. Fans cursed out security officers and other fans. The yelling of the "F" word in front of elderly and young children was unbelievable. Is it like this at home or is this just a gift to those they visit? Louisville spared Indy. Don't come back!

Gene Jarman
West Carrollton, Ohio

So it's not only the students that were drunk and rude — it was the parents and alumni as well? Yelling the despicable "F" word in front of the children! And the elderly! What kind of people are they building in Loudonville, NY? Definitely not the type of people that write strongly-worded letters to out-of-state newspapers to complain, that's for sure.

Siena fans no Saints in Ohio [ATU]

Yes, I checked into the emergency room on Friday night (for, let's say ... "exhaustion") about a half-hour before the tip of the Michigan State-Kansas game. Still have no idea what happened there. On Saturday afternoon, after 20 hours of staring at the ceiling, I figured the Regional Final games would help me pass the time, but apparently, the closest CBS affiliate broadcasting the game was in Guam. It was fine as long as none of the players moved.

Even better, when they finally did discharge me ... it was in the middle of the first half of the Louisville game on Sunday. So I had to rush to the pharmacy to get prescriptions, then rush home in time to catch the second half, and somehow ... it wasn't even that close. Not that I'm complaining. I don't think my fragile system could have handled a Villanova-like nail biter.

So my alma mater is in the Final Four again and I missed almost all of it, but I finally spent last night in my own bed, dreaming of reasonably-priced ticket packages. Of which, naturally, there were will be none. I'm sure that even in a depressed economy you will be able to find 75,000 Michigan residents able to pony up the home team premium for seats. But that's okay. I'll probably just end up stabbing myself in the thigh on Friday night and heading back to the E.R. Hey, you don't mess with a streak.

Oh, and one more thing about all the "the State of Michigan really needs this" stories that will nauseate you this week. I don't want to get into a whole Detroit/Ann Arbor/East Lansing "who loves who more" thing, but to all our Michigan-based readers out there, I just want to say this. If you catch any out-of-work Wolverine fans trying to latch on to this everybody-feel-good moment and saying things like "I was pulling for State all along" and (heaven forbid) "I hope WE can pull it out" ... just go ahead and punch them right in the mouth.

Lansing March Mania [Lansing State Journal]
Destined 4 Detroit [The State News]
A fairy tale for Tom Izzo, Magic and all Spartans [Detroit Free Press]

2) Special Ed Because of injuries and suspensions, bench production has been a bit thin. The exception is skinny Ed Davis, a defensive presence and rebounding machine. Against LSU he had more minutes, points, rebounds, and blocks than starter Deon Thompson.

3) The guards smell blood In each of UNC's losses, the opposing backcourt went off and carried the team to victory. That drooling sound you hear? Guards dreaming of shooting down Hansbrough's last shot at a title and becoming the next great Carolina villain. — SPS

GONAZGA BULLDOGS

1) Rock Chalk, Ex-Jayhawk Gonzaga has been using 6' 9" wing/guard Micah Downs in the starting lineup lately, bringing former starter Steven Gray off the bench—this gives the Zags 3 starters (Downs, Daye, Heytvelt) over 6' 8"— opponents don't usually counter with that kind of size in the lineup, and it presents matchup problems, especially when Downs spots up behind the arc. Downs last played for Kansas under—small world—current Carolina coach Roy Williams.

2) It's like an entire team of Euros Gonzaga lives and dies by the three point shot—and seven guys on the team are legitimate long-range threats, including Daye and Heytvelt, the bigs. All five starters plus Gray have more than 20 3pt makes on the season; Bouldin leads the team in this category with 55 (through the regular season), and Heytvelt, Bouldin and Daye all shoot 40% or better from 3pt range. The guards are all >35% 3pt shooters, and each have over 120 3pt attempts. In the tournament, Pargo and Bouldin each made 3 triples against Western Kentucky. Tight perimeter defense tends to free up Daye and Heytvelt inside—witness their 60+ percent shooting against Akron.

3) Playing while maimed Gonzaga has been down at the half in each of its tournament games, by 3 to Akron, and by 2 to Western Kentucky. In each case, Gonzaga rallied in the second half to hold off their opponents, while coping with rectal tearing and straining from the half-time speech. Coach Mark Few lost his eyebrows at halftime against Akron, prompting a collection to be taken up in Spokane for restorative surgery. — Johninho

2) Case closed Michigan State is 5-0 all-time in NCAA Tournament games in Indianapolis and 7-0 as a No. 2 seed. It's like they don't even need to play the game. (Seriously, if Kansas wants to forfeit, that's cool with me.)

3) Half Right Like they did against Kansas in January, the Spartans have a habit of shutting down opposing offenses for long stretches of time. It's a trait that is reminiscent of the 2000 championship team, which was one of the best defensive and rebounding teams ever seen. However, State also has a less attractive habit of forgetting to score their own points during those stretches. For example: in their second-round game against USC, the Trojans tied the score at 67 with 4:36 left, yet scored no more field goals the rest of the game. Over the same period, Michigan State scored two and the game was still in doubt with under a minute to go. Yes, defense wins championships, but it helps to throw a few points in there too.

KANSAS JAYHAWKS

1) The Beast From Bloomington With 13 points, 20 rebounds, and 10 blocks, Cole Aldrich recorded the first official triple-double in Kansas Jayhawks history last Sunday against against the Dayton Flyers. Why the official disclaimer? The NCAA didn't record blocks or steals until 1986. I have no idea how the hell that's even possible, but when it comes to the NCAA there's nothing they can't screw up, even stats. If we ignore the official caveat, one must go back to 1957 for the last Kansas triple-double, which of course was posted by Wilt Chamberlain during Christmas Break '57 when he "acquainted himself with" 14 redheads, 12 blondes, and 11 brunettes in the course of a single Saturday night. Back then, of course, "acquainting oneself with" a young woman was a euphemism for anal sex.

2) This time it's personal It's only been a little over two months since KU met Michigan State in the regular season (the results of which shan't be discussed here), but it's been slightly longer since the two basketball powerhouses have met in the NCAA Tournament. In 1986, the Jayhawks met the Spartans in a Southeast Regional semifinal matchup at Kansas City's godforsaken Kemper Arena. Some shot clock irregularities gave the Jayhawks an extra 10-15 seconds of game time, which they used to complete their comeback from a second-half deficit and send the game into overtime, which they then of course won. Michigan State fans were livid about the supposed home cooking, and it's one of those minor footnotes in history that fans on the internet still get all CAPS LOCK-y about still today while conveniently ignoring the fact that Michigan State blew a few chances in the waning moments of the second half to seal a victory.

3) Your seats, show them to me. The greatest KU basketball story ever told isn't one you'll find in the pages of Inside Sports or the Twitter feed of Rick Rielly. No, the greatest KU basketball story ever told is the one that popped up last year on an anonymous, now-dormant blog. Both Kansas fans and opposing fans have latched onto it with glee, and retell it with relish. Is it true? Who knows? Who cares? Ladies and gentlemen, the AIN'T NO SEATS story:

Someone from my dorm last year had a class with Sherron Collins and a few other basketball players (Darrell Arthur, Brady Morningstar, maybe someone else) and they always sit next to each other and cheat on tests and such. Sherron enters class on a test day and immediately goes and sits right next to the other players, and of course you're supposed to have a seat between you and the closest person. The teacher tells Sherron to sit in the front of the class, where there are five or six completely empty rows. Sherron doesn't even look up and just yells 'AIN'T NO SEATS' and proceeds to continue in his studious ways and miraculously gets an A on the test while sitting next to the basketball players.

Remember — "Most of us are going pro in something other than sports."

2) Syracuse has just offered a scholarship to Randy Couture Blake Griffin's first two box scores of the tourney are getting a lot of talk, as well as Ameer Ali's judo-flip of him in round one. But neither thing is really anything new for Griffin this season. That's (at least) the fourth cheap shot Griffin has been hit by this year (crotch shot, leg sweep, punch in the back of the head, about 200 bloody noses) and he's had 13 games where he's put up at least 20 points and 15 boards. Right now he's averaging 30.5 ppg and 15 rpg during the tournament. And Syracuse has had trouble with quality big men this year (Cole Aldrich had 15 and 16 against them and DeJuan Blair 20 and 12). Kristof Ongenaet better start working on his Stone Cold Stunner.

3) Going downtown, like the Petula Clark song Coming in to the tournament, the Sooners had been in a bit of a slump and a lot of the reason for that was poor outside shooting. Teams were packing the paint to handle Griffin and the OU guards weren't hitting from three. But against Michigan, some of that sweet outside shooting that helped bump the Sooners to the top five for most of the year returned. Austin Johnson went 3-4 from downtown and Willie Warren went 3-6 as the team hit six moneyballs total. In OU's previous two losses, the Sooners hit a total of seven threes with Johnson going 2-9 from three and Warren 3-12. And as we all know, three-point shooting and guard play is going to kind of be a key for OU against Syracuse. No sign from Tony Crocker though who is 0-6 from three so far in the tournament. — Royce Young (Daily Thunder)

SYRACUSE ORANGE

1) Devolutionary War When he's not busy creating new strains of cancer and enslaving small African nations, Eric Devendrof plays basketball for Syracuse University. Okay, maybe he doesn't actually do those things but you'd never know it from the vitriolic reaction his name inspires. From The Big Lead to Slate to Sports Illustrated, Devendorf has been named the most hated player in college basketball. Aside from the alleged punching incident earlier this year (which, for what's it worth, he was cleared of actually doing), it's his trash-talking, cockiness and post-shot celebrations that usually set people off. Unfortunately for them, since he continues to hit big shots when it matters most, they're only going to get angrier.

2) Big 12 Champs The last time Syracuse played Oklahoma in the NCAA Tournament was 2003 when the Orange defeated the Sooners 63-47 in the Elite 8, en route to their first and only National Title. Oklahoma was just one of four Big 12 teams that Syracuse played in the tournament that year, including Oklahoma State in the 2nd round, Texas in the Final Four and Kansas in the Championship game. The Orange have yet to receive their 2003 Big 12 Champions banner.

3) Walking In Memphis...Again It might come as a surprise to some to know that the Orange actually left the state of New York in November and December this season. The big knock against SU is always their soft OOC schedule and that's what many pointed to the last couple years when the Orange were on the wrong side of the bubble. This year the Orange logged some decent frequent flyer miles before conference play, beating Florida and Kansas in "neutral" Kansas City. They also traveled to Memphis to take on, and beat, the Tigers. At the time the win meant a lot to the Orange's RPI. Little did they know the experience of playing in the FedEx Forum would come in handy as well. — Sean (Troy Nunes Is An Absolute Magician)

2) Defense Win Championships An overused cliche, but a perfect fit for Rick Pitino's team. Obviously making shots are a necessity in basketball, but when the Cards are hitting it allows them to throw on the most vicious, in-your-grill press in college hoops. Guards Andre McGee, Jerry Smith and Preston Knowles make life living hell for opposing guards causing frequent turnovers. They are like wild dogs—the kind Mike Vick would lay the heavy bread on. Pitino says getting 35 deflections on defense will get you the win 9/10 times. The turnovers caused by the ferocious press get the Cards easy buckets and harm the opposition's morale. The Cards have been known to go on 15-0 or 23-2 runs based solely off their press which completely cripple their opponents. If the Cards' shots are falling and the patented Pitino press is engaged the Cards will be extremely tough to beat.

The Mystery of Earl Clark Earl "E5" Clark might be the most talented player to come through Louisville in the last 25 years. How he uses that talent is a different story. Recently Clark has had a monster games and is a double-double machine. However, Earl has been known to make horrendous decisions at the most inopportune times (ie: walking, lazy passes). This is something that has to concern Pitino moving forward. Clark turned it up for the tourney last year by eating Blake Griffin's breakfast lunch and dinner then taking his girlfriend out for a steak dinner and never calling her back in the second round. That is the E5 that needs to show up for Louisville. When Clark is ready to play that way, he gets this Bruce Banner-like look in his eye and just starts grabbing board after board and dunking on people's heads. Yet you really never know when that's going to happen. His draft stock is at stake and so are the title hopes of the Fightin' Cardinals, so for the Cards' sake let's hope the good E5 shows up. — Rob Jones (The L Yes! Report)

[Ed: We didn't get a new capsule for Louisville and I'm too tired to write one. Sorry.]

ARIZONA WILDCATS

1) Defense? Defense! Arizona exclusively plays a 1-1-3 zone. If you like shooting wide open threes, this defense should not scare you. Entering the tournament, Arizona's opponents shot 35.5% from behind the arc, resulting in the 244th best 3-pt defense in the country. But in their two tourney wins, opponents Utah and Cleveland State shot just a combined 11-55 from three-land. If a team is patient against the Cats, they'll always be able to get an open look (especially on the baseline).

2) The Little Engine That Could Point guard Nic Wise is a microcosm of Arizona's season ... both amazing and frustrating, often at the same time. Wise has an uncanny knack for getting the ball to the rim. But he also plays with reckless abandon, knowing there isn't anyone on the bench to replace him. Plus, this is his seventh coach in the last seven seasons. Wise had a different coach every year in high school and three new ones in college. Next year in Tucson will make it eight for eight.

3) Coach Like Every Game Is Your Last This is particularly true for Russ Pennell. Even a Steve Fisher-esque run to the Final Four won't earn him the full-time job next season. But just being in the tournament made it a successful season for the Wildcats, and probably opened the door for a head coaching job at a smaller school for Pennell. For ‘Zona fans, being able to watch at least one more game helps kill the time until they find out who's really taking over for Midnight Lute. — Brad Burnes

2) Backyard Brawl, Sort of In addition to Zoubek, Duke has a few other players from the general Philadelphia area, giving this weekend's game an extra emotional dimension. As is typical with most Blue Devils, they have overcome hardscrabble backgrounds to succeed. Gerald Henderson, for example, fought his way up from the mean streets of Merion, Pennsylvania, while up the Jersey Turnpike Lance Thomas beat the odds in Scotch Plains. And don't even get me started about David McClure and Ridgefield, Connecticut. So let's hear it for these gritty, gutty underdogs.

3) You're Not Helping And it's not as if Duke will have the Boston crowd on its side. Granted, more than a few Duke families will clip more than a few coupons to buy tickets on Stubhub so their precious, precious children can attend the game, but everyone else will be rooting for Nova. Duke's status as the most hated team in college basketball is unlikely to change at this point, and this year's crop of tournament-oriented commercials is not making it any easier to be a Duke fan. Okay, at least Dick Vitale doesn't work for CBS and, okay, at least American Express isn't running those awful Coach K spots this year, but the Vitamin Water commercial with Christian Laettner and Rick Pitino… did we really need that? — Charles Dainoff

VILLANOVA WILDCATS

1) Flip of a Coin It's difficult to determine which Wildcat team will show up on Thursday vs Duke in Boston. The first round game against American highlighted some problems the Wildcats occasionally experience. American was able to exploit Villanova's weak perimeter defense and consistently force the Wildcats to scramble in transition. Villanova's lack of a true center forces their defense to over-compensate and stay close to the paint; teams with strong 3-point shooting are able to take advantage of this. However, as the UCLA game illustrated, Villanova is capable of running a fluid and fast-pace offense that is difficult to defend against. Nova's strong guard play from Scottie Reynolds and Corey Fisher overwhelmed UCLA. Villanova, as with many Big East teams, is very physical and Duke will be forced to keep up with Nova's style.

2) Balancing Act Villanova is one of the more balanced teams in the tournament. In the UCLA game, 6 players scored in double digits and 6 had at least 3 rebounds. It's difficult to completely shut down the Wildcats offense due to their ability to move the ball around and score from all areas of the floor. Corey Fisher, a sophomore guard and Big East 6th Man of the Year, has been a huge part of Villanova's recent success. His ability to bring the ball up the court and create plays on his own has allowed the Nova offense to spread out.

3) If You Aren't Already Convinced... Thursday's game will provide what many NCAA basketball fans have been waiting for: a major matchup between a Big East and an ACC team. Although the Big East has made quite the showing with 3 number 1's and 5 teams heading to the Sweet 16, the debate continues as to which conference is the toughest. Thursday's game pits two strong programs, both with styles representative of their conferences, against each other. Villanova will look to control the pace of the game while setting the tone with strong physical play. Duke will attempt to unravel the Wildcat defense with strong perimeter shooting. The game has the potential to be one of the more exciting games so far in the tournament. — CRyan (3:10 To Joba)

2) More than just flash Even though most fans associate the Tigers brand of basketball with a wide-open playground style, they actually play some defense. In fact, according to the statistical wizards over at KenPom.com, Memphis has the most efficient defensive team in the nation allowing just 81.2 points per 100 opponent possessions.

3) Stepping up under the bright lights Not only was Robert Sallie's 35 points against Cal State-Northridge a career-high (previous high: 13 points), it was also more points than he has scored in the previous month (33 points in 8 games). — Rush the Court

MISSOURI TIGERS

1) Don't call it a comeback Ok, do. If and when Missouri goes into the locker room at halftime trailing by double digits, most Missouri fans won't necessarily be worried—the Tigers are used to falling behind. Any lead of less than 15 points is not safe against Missouri's pressing defense and tendency to score in bunches. Missouri has come back to win from deficits of 14 vs. Kansas, 12 vs. Southern Cal, and 11 at Texas. In two close-but-no-cigar games, the Tigers whittled deficits of 26 down to 7 at Texas A&M and 18 down to 1 at Nebraska. During the A&M game, one commentator said that a lead of 25 against Missouri is like a lead of 15 against any other team. This is not true, as numbers carry the same value in Missouri as they do in other states, but MU certainly has the ability to climb back out of deep holes. On the flipside, the Tigers have squandered their share of big leads throughout the season. Coach Mike Anderson's teams tend to play the same frenetic style in a tie game as they do with a 20-point lead which means lots of trapping, lots of fouling, lots of broken full-court presses, lots of easy buckets for opposing teams and lots of business for cardiologists and shrinks throughout Missouri. In lucky-to-be-winning efforts, the Tigers fumbled away leads of 19 vs. Oklahoma State and 16 vs. Marquette. Murray State cut a 16-point second-half deficit to 4. A 5-point lead against Xavier with 3:00 left resulted in a loss. Regardless of which Tiger team jumps out in front the game should be close by the final buzzer.

2) Assist-to-Turnover Purists Bow to Missouri This ultimately means that no one bows to Missouri, but basketball stat geeks will notice that the Tigers have been among the leaders in a few not-so-obscure statistical categories for most of the season. Among the remaining 16 tournament teams, Missouri ranks #2 in scoring offense, #5 in margin of victory, #5 in 3-point FG defense, #1 in assists/game, #1 in assist-to-turnover ratio, #1 in steals/game, #1 in turnovers/game (in the good way) and #1 in turnover margin. The Tigers are the best passing team in the tournament and a testament to their team play is the fact that no player is averaging over 3.6 assists/game. When Missouri is moving on offense and crisply passing the ball they're hard to stop. If Missouri depends on 1-on-1 play look for Memphis to win big.

3) Leo Lyons and Matt Lawrence did not see this coming Both players were recruited by former Missouri coach Quin Snyder and their introduction to Missouri basketball was probably less enjoyable than they had expected. Their freshman season entailed the firing of Snyder and a 12-16 finish—good for Missouri's lowest win total since 1973. If the end of Snyder's reign at Missouri was the dark ages, Lyons and Lawrence joined the team at right around the time of the plague. Enter Mike Anderson. Over the course of Lyons and Lawrence's sophomore and junior seasons the Tigers compiled a mediocre record of 34-28, enjoying brief flashes of on-the-court success and suffering through more off-the-court embarrassment. Some players transferred, some players quit, some players were arrested, some players were shot, some players were kicked off the team, but Lyons and Lawrence rode out the turbulence. As freshmen they played on one of the worst teams in the history of modern Missouri basketball. As seniors they play on one of the best. — Tyler Wells

2) Forest Whitaker lied to you Or at least stretched the truth. For reasons that escape me, Forest Whitaker was featured this year in a Big East commercial which ran during every single commercial break during every single Big East regional game. The Fast Times star rambles through about 40 different facts explaining how impressive the Big East looks this year and has been throughout the history of the conference. While I don't dispute that opinion, I do dispute the fact that at one point, the Bloodsport actor makes the claim that 15 teams in the conference have reached the Final Four, including Pitt. Yeah, and Battlefield Earth was a great movie. The truth is, Pitt did reach a semi-final of a tournament in 1941. Problem is, there were only 8 teams in the whole bracket. Does winning one game in a tournament that featured Creighton really count as making the Final Four? Forest, does that mean simply getting into the tournament means Pitt has been to an Elite 8? No, sadly, it doesn't. A win on Thursday takes Pitt to uncharted territory. Following that, in the event of a win over either 'Nova or Duke on Saturday and I'd like to retract this section of this article. I'd also like my $8 back from Vantage Point.

3) Senioritis Hopefully it's not kicking in yet for any of the 3 graduating seniors from the starting 5 of this year's team. But while some local journalistic dolts claim that Levance Fields, Sam Young and Tyrell Biggs' departure, coupled with a possible early exit to the NBA by DeJuan Blair, spells doom for Jamie Dixon and the Panthers next year, others are looking to a brighter future. Highly acclaimed forward Dante Taylor joins the Panthers next year, the first to sport the title of McDonald's All-American for Pitt in 20 years. Some other key players to next years team are also helping to fuel their current run in this years tournament. Gilbert Brown might be the most athletic player on the court at any given time, freshman Ashton Gibbs led the conference for a while in 3 point % and Brad Wanamaker is a solid 2 guard. Match them with current starting guard Jermaine Dixon, and you have a very solid starting 5. Because of Jamie Dixon's willingness to go deep into his bench, the Panthers have been able to bring along the future of their program, while remaining a....I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. I'm only writing this section as a way to soften the blow of another possible let down. If this team can't get the job done, I don't think we'll ever see a Pitt team in the Final Four. — WhoWantsaWanstacheRide (The Mosh Pitt)

XAVIER MUSKETEERS

1) Coaching audition? Inevitably, the story line that will get beaten into the ground leading up to Thursday night will be Head Coach Sean Miller squaring off against his alma mater. Miller was a Pitt guard from 1987-1992, was the Big East Freshman of the year in '88, and hit Jerome Lane in transition en route to that famed backboard breaking jam, which of course sent Bill Raftery into hysterics. If for some reason Jamie Dixon ever bolts for another gig, Miller will immediately be the number one candidate to fill the vacancy.

2) Better with age As a freshman in 2005, B.J. Raymond did little to suggest he was ever going to have a substantial impact on the program. He played only 12 minutes a game and shot a lackluster 30.6 percent from deep. But fast forward to 2009 and Raymond is the face of Xavier's second consecutive trip to the Sweet 16. He leads the team in points (14.1), minutes (30.1) and free throw percentage (80). He's also improved his range tremendously, finishing fourth in the Atlantic 10 in three pointers made. You might remember him as the player who made this frightening face after delivering the knockout three pointer against West Virginia in last year's regional semi-final.

3) They should have an "X" factor, right? With roles clearly defined and exciting aberration performances from bench players few and far between, this year's team has been fairly predictable to watch. In March though it usually takes a role player to incite an upset, so take heed of the name Jamel McLean. Derrick Brown aside, he's the team's most athletic player and was second in blocks despite averaging only 17 minutes of floor time. He's listed at 6'8", but that is very, very generous. He also likes to dunk! Something often absent in an XU game. — Searching For Billy Edelin

2) Coach Feels Lousy? Good! UConn head coach Jim Calhoun fell mysteriously ill just before the Huskies' first-round win over the Chattanooga Mocs, leaving former Holy Cross head man George Blaney to run the team. You'd think this kind of thing would be a distraction for the team, but not so much. Turns out Calhoun had similar bouts of the 24-hour whoopsies in 1999 and 2004, both years in which UConn won championships. Looks like ol' Jim is leaving nothing to chance this season.

3) Wide Margins We can be forgiven for wondering if anyone plans to show up and take the floor against UConn in Glendale. Lord knows, the first two Husky opponents of the tournament were barely there. The Chattanooga Mocs fell 103-47 (a 56-point margin) and more robust opponent Texas A&M was able to keep the margin of crushing defeat to a respectable 26 points. Add a stiff shot of defense to your next Boilermaker—you're going to need it. — Eric Angevine (Storming The Floor)

PURDUE BOILERMAKERS

1) Big Shot Rob Robbie Hummel was pre-season Big Ten Player of the Year...and as he got healthy late in the regular season (hey, if you haven't heard, he has a stress fracture in his back and wears a plastic brace—CBS even has pictures to prove it!), it became obvious just how valuable he is for Matty Painter's squad. He was the Big Ten Tourney MVP because of his ability to always be near the ball and to make things happen on offense...but he's a dead-eye shooter and that's why he gets so much respect.  He even earned a spot on SI's regional cover prior to the Purdue v. UNI game (the same SI that, in their bracket, referred to "Keady-like defense" when talking about a team Keady hasn't coached in five years)...but Robbie's first two rounds were as quiet as IU's Memorial Stadium on a fall afternoon. (Hey-yo!) So we think he's long overdue. He's averaging 8 points and 9 boards per game in the tournament—he's usually a 12.4/7.

2) Miles to go before they sleep. Purdue's team decided to forego returning to West Lafayette for two days following their win over Washington in Portland, Oregon, and instead decided to go directly to Arizona to prepare for the round of 16 in Glendale. UConn, conversely, slept in their own beds until Tuesday when they headed west. We'll see if the time change/environmental change has any effect on the favored Huskies. The dry air in Arizona takes some getting used to. If UConn struggles with cramps while the Boilers don't on Thursday, Matty will look like even more of an evil genius...Hopefully this tactic doesn't prompt the Boilers to spend too many nights in Detroit if they should move on to the Final Four.

3) For our next trick, we'll make our offense disappear. If you've watched any Purdue basketball this year, you know a few things. First, Matty Painter is a handsome devil. Second, Purdue's offense has the Copperfield-like ability to disappear, without any warning, at any time. And finally, defense makes this team go. It's been said that a 10-point lead for Purdue is like a 20-point lead for many other teams. We saw just how important the defense was versus Washington as Purdue's JaJuan Johnson altered an estimated seven Huskies shots in the final three minutes and had two outright blocks in the closing seconds of Purdue's win last round. On an unrelated note, JaJuan doesn't like it when dogs stick their tongues out at him. — Boiled Sports

According to these anonymous posted fliers—always a reliable source of information—Colin Matta, the son of Ohio State's head coach, was badmouthing Siena College and pretty much all of upstate New York in the lead up to Friday's 8-9 game between the Saints and Buckeyes. The fliers gave out "Colin's" phone number and instructed all lovers of steamed hams to call the young man and give him a piece of their vulgar minds. The only flaw in this otherwise brilliant plan is that the coach doesn't have a son named Colin, or any son at all for that matter.

The official Ohio State bio on Matta, who is 41, states that he has two daughters. The oldest one is ten years old, so I'm going to guess we're not talking about a son-in-law. Matta himself graduated from Butler in 1990, which would also make it highly unlikely (though still possible I suppose) that he would have fathered a illegitimate child who would graduate from Northeastern University 16 years later. So this whole thing raises several questions that would no doubt lead to disturbing answers you can never unknow.

Does this Colin Matta even exist? If so, has he been telling all his college buddies that the Ohio State coach is his father? If he doesn't exist, then who does the phone number belong too? Just an extremely unlucky Buckeye fan? Is it a prank? A hoax? A fevered dream? The plot of an upcoming Nicholas Cage movie? Where is Carl Monday when you really need him?

Update: Yep, just some good old fashioned ball-busting. (Probably.)

Thad Matta Biography [Ohio State Buckeyes]
You Have No One To Blame But Yourself, Young Man [Deadspin]

Pitt now moves on to the Sweet Sixteen for the fifth time in eight years. They're not winning big, but they're winning. And in the end, isn't that what it's all about? (Roll "The More You Know" star swipe).

Elsewhere, twelfth-seeded Arizona is proving that maybe they did belong in the tournament after all, advancing to a familiar spot in the round of sixteen after beating thirteenth-seeded Cleveland State. Kansas and Xavier had less trouble in their victories over Dayton and Wisconsin, respectively. Sadly, the One Man Gang and Randy Savage both died of heart attacks in the middle of the ring.

The win was career victory 799 for Orange coach Jim Boeheim (not to be confused with orange coach Bobby Knight), who will try for number 800 against Oklahoma next Friday in the Sweet Sixteen. What else is going on, your television-less self asks? Well, Pittsburgh is in very tough against Oklahoma State (but Oklahoma State's Byron Eaton just left the court in a heap o' pain), Kansas is up six against Dayton at the half, Arizona is pushing around Cleveland State, and Xavier is down two to Wisconsin at the half.

To the fridge, everyone!