Vandenberg, a redshirt freshman from Keokuk, Iowa, threw for 233 yards, two touchdowns and three picks in Iowa's 27-24 loss to Ohio State on Saturday. It was his first collegiate start, and he somehow managed not to piddle on the 50-yard line, and that was all anyone needed to bestow upon Vandenberg's competence a favorite bit of light praise.

Headline, Quad-City Times:

... has poise

Headline, ESPN.com:

... showing poise early

Maureen Fulton, Toledo Blade:

... showed poise

Nathan Rush, Athlon Sports:

... showed poise

Kirk Ferentz, Iowa coach, via the Cleveland Plain Dealer:

... showed good poise out there

Kirk Ferentz, Iowa coach, via the Cedar Rapids Gazette:

... showed good poise and leadership traits and mental and physical toughness

Adam Rittenberg, ESPN.com:

... showed tremendous poise

Max Dible, Examiner.com:

... showed poise beyond his years

Charles Allen, Bleacher Report:

... played with poise and determination far exceeding his level of experience

Des Moines Register:

... poise and preparedness

Mike Hlas, Cedar Rapids Gazette:

... eye-opening poise

And what of Mark Sanchez? He seems to have drifted dangerously close to "poise"'s polar opposite, "erratic." One more five-interception game, and he'll be Rex Grossman with a GQ spread. But Sanchez isn't ready to surrender his "poise" crown just yet. From Sunday:

Joe Lapointe and William C. Rhoden, The New York Times:

Sanchez, despite two interceptions, seemed to be gaining poise ...

h/t reader Benjamin J.

The Jets' loss was so demoralizing that today's Daily News referred to it variously as a "slap in the face," a "kick in the gut" and a "kick in the pants," an anatomically improbable combination of blows generally not seen outside of Street Fighter II. Sanchez called his performance "embarrassing." He completed 10 of 29 passes and finished with a quarterback rating of 8.3, and now, for the season, he has 10 interceptions against five touchdowns. The Bills buried Mark Sanchez's poise on a cold and gusty day at the Meadowlands as if it were the corpse of a corrupt trade unionist.

Rich Cimini, New York Daily News:

The Jets have become an undisciplined team, losing their poise at all the wrong times.

What's more, I counted a single "poise" in the run-up to the game, this one in the Canadian press, courtesy of Jets coach Rex Ryan. And even he sounded sick of the word:

David Naylor, The Globe and Mail, quoting Ryan:

We knew he had the poise and all that stuff ...

Is this the end, then? Is the poise gone? Was it even there to begin with? These are deeply unsettling questions, and surely Ryan asked himself some variation on them yesterday when he turned to the bench and briefly considered replacing Captain Poise with his backup, Kellen Clemens. He didn't, but that doesn't mean he won't at some point this season. And who is this Kellen Clemens, you ask? Just to remind you, here is how one newspaper characterized Clemens' NFL debut in 2007:

New York Post headline:

QB SHOWS POISE IN FIRST START

The Dolphins took down the Jets last night, 31-27, in a contest that was less about the result than it was about which fresh-faced quarterback, Chad Henne or Mark Sanchez, could be heaped with more meaningless compliments both before and after the game. This one, too, went down to the wire.

On Henne's side of the ledger:

Chris Joseph, Miami New Times:

Henne's poise will be key.

PhinPhanatic:

... poise in the pocket

Tom D'Angelo, Palm Beach Post:

... showed he has some pocket poise

Ray McNulty, Palm Beach Post:

... kept his poise in the pocket

Chris Burke, FanHouse, quoting Braylon Edwards:

Chad took it to a new level with his poise.

For Sanchez:

Vinnie Iyer, Sporting News:

... displayed great poise

Chet Gresham, SB Nation:

... has guts and poise and all the intangibles

Daniel Rathman, NESN:

... exhibited ... poise in the face of adversity

Edgar Thompson, Palm Beach Post:

... the poise of a veteran

And, now, on both sides of the ledger:

J.P. Pelzman and Jeff Darlington, Sporting News:

... which quarterback — Sanchez or Henne — can keep his poise about him.

Chris Joseph, Miami New Times:

And while all the pre-game talk was about how much poise Mark Sanchez had to go along with that pretty face of his, in the end, it was Henne who not only displayed poise, but also a laser-rocket arm to go with that poise.

Ray McNulty, Palm Beach Post:

"That was a heck of an education for the guy tonight," Dolphins coach Tony Sparano said of Henne. "He had a couple of opportunities at the end to bring this team back, and he handled it with poise."

Both quarterbacks did.

Rex Ryan, Jets coach, on Henne:

He seems to have poise just like our quarterback does

I count 11 "poise"s or implied "poise"s for Henne to just eight for Sanchez, who could've used some help this week from the usual "poise" junkies, Steve Serby and Greg Bishop, both of whose prose was noticeably "poise"-free. This "poise" rivalry between Sanchez and Henne certainly bears watching. They are the NFL's two great ambassadors of "poise," Poise Marino and Poise Montana, and maybe somewhere in the NFL there's another young, relatively unformed quarterback, perhaps running the taxi squad now, but who will one day play efficiently in a winning effort and thereby complete the triad. Where are you, Poise Elway?

CBS 2 (HD!) reporter Hazel Sanchez—that's not her real name, she just writes it all over her notebooks—went out on the street to get the female perspective on the dreamy QB. The verdict: women love him, men want to be him, and though he may not be the newest ride at the park, he's got the longest line.

"His body, his hair, his face …" one woman swooned to CBS 2 HD before nearly needing to be resuscitated.

"That No. 6 … he is so sexy. Oh my God!" added Nagee Bowe.

"He's pretty hot. I think I'd watch football, basketball, hockey, ice skating, if he was in it," said Amber Chapman of Washington Heights.

"Oh that butt. I can't miss it," one woman said.

"He looks like JFK Jr. I think he's good looking," Jill Schneider said.

"He's like stunning!" another woman said.

Sure, if you're into "conventional" good looks. But does Sanchez love them back?

When asked if he feels there's the potential for distraction, Sanchez quipped, "Maybe in the city but I'm in Jersey."

Ouch. Sorry, Jersey Girls. I guess you're stuck with these guys. But it's like Henry Kissinger said, "Poise is the ultimate aphrodisiac."

No Denying Big Apple Buzz Surrounds 'The Sanchise' [CBS]
MARK SANCHEZ OBJECTIFIED BY FEMALE JOURNALIST [BigLeagueScrew]

In due time, of course. Before the game, however, things were as normal:

Jeff Duncan, Times-Picayune:

... the poise of rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez.

Mike Triplett, Times-Picayune:

... impressive poise in the pocket and in the spotlight.

Dan Parr, Pro Football Weekly:

... showing ... poise, intelligence and adaptability.

Rich Cimini, New York Daily News, quoting Jets owner Woody Johnson:

... the young man's poise.

Photo caption, ESPN.com:

... has played with poise.

Deke Bellavia, WWL-AM/FM, quoting Saints coach Sean Payton:

... has poise.

Richard Marsh, Bleacher Report:

... poise under pressure.

Dave Hutchinson, Newark Star-Ledger, quoting Jets coach Rex Ryan:

... clearly has that kind of poise ...

Jason Brown, Fort Worth Star-Telegram:

... legendary poise ...

Steve Serby, New York Post, after last week's victory over the Titans:

... never lost his poise ...

Before today, Serby's journalism had accounted for eight "poised"s, including this two-fer back in mid-August: "You name it — poise, swagger, moxie, accuracy, leadership — Sanchez brought it all to the table. ... Sanchez looked poised and decisive." He has out"poised" the New York Times' "poise" junkie, Greg Bishop. Serby is to "poise" what Reilly is to teeth. He deploys "poise" the way Hemingway used "and." And now? What have you to say for Mark Sanchpoise today, Steve Serby?

Steve Serby, New York Post:

... saved his poise and deadly accuracy for the postgame press conference.

Photo via GQ

In today's paper, Bishop, whom we've met before, writes of the Jets:

The two constants have been the poise of their rookie quarterback and the defense.

To which we can now add a third: a beat writer who doesn't seem to have access to a thesaurus. Bishop's stories have accounted for six "poise"s since Aug. 6.

Sept. 25: "... Sanchez's poise, pocket presence and decision-making" (this appeared online under the headline, "Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has already shown the poise of a more experienced player")

Sept. 15: "... the poise exhibited by Sanchez ..."

Sept. 13: "... displayed poise rarely seen from rookie quarterbacks ..."

Aug. 6, quoting coach Rex Ryan: '' ... wanted to see poise ..."

This has now officially gotten out of hand. Sanchez had a nice broken-play touchdown run yesterday and a largely unremarkable day throwing the ball. The English language fairly bulges with hollow compliments for a performance like that. Sanchez was self-possessed. He was serene. Assured. Phlegmatic. He played with confidence and aplomb and equanimity. Any of those, and a thousand more, would serviceably evoke the notion of a quarterback who looks like a quarterback and doesn't constantly throw the ball to the other team's safety, which is all "poise" really means in this context anyway. Deadlines are a bitch, and all writers have their crutches, but for a reporter at our country's paper of record to turn time and again to the same lame cliché shows a distinct lack of — oh, what's the word? — sangfroid.

Photo via GQ

It's Sloppy, but Jets Are 3-0, and That's No Mistake [New York Times]

Clifton Brown, Sporting News:

Sanchez's poise. ...

USA Today headline:

... Sanchez's poise creates excitement for N.Y. Jets

Peter King, Sports Illustrated:

What made his performance more surprising was his poise.

Tom Pedulla, USA Today:

Extremely poised performer.

Boston Globe headline:

... showed poise

Shalise Manza Young, Providence Journal:

... continues to show poise.

Manish Mehta, Newark Star-Ledger:

... showing poise under fire.

RealScouts, Sporting News:

... showed a great deal of poise ...

Rich Cimini, New York Daily News:

... showed remarkable poise.

Patriots Insider:

... displayed a lot of poise ...

Aaron Wilson, National Football Post:

... displayed poise and touch ...

Greg Bishop, The New York Times:

... displayed poise rarely seen from rookie quarterbacks ...

Dave Hutchinson, Newark Star-Ledger:

Displaying the poise of a veteran ...

Barbara Barker, Newsday:

... displayed the poise of a veteran ...

Marcia C. Smith, Orange County Register, quoting wide receiver Chansi Stuckey:

... has poise, humility and can handle the pressure like a veteran.

Wallace Matthews, Newsday, quoting Joe Namath:

... has poise, but he's been playing football for a little while. He's supposed to have poise.

Mike Vaccaro, New York Post:

... precocious poise under pressure ...

Matt Bowen, National Football Post:

... looked poised and mature ...

Rich Cimini, New York Daily News, quoting Rex Ryan:

... clearly has that kind of poise and that awareness ...

Dave Hutchinson, Newark Star-Ledger:

... poise and a plan.

Michael Lombardi, National Football Post:

His poise, his command and most of all his leadership skills ...

Gary Myers, New York Daily News:

... has the arm, poise and charisma.

Jennifer Toland, Worcester Telegram:

... certainly has charisma and looks, and ... poise, presence and talent, too.

The Jets talked a lot of smack last week and for the first time in 40 years they backed it up. (OMG, MARK SANCHEZ IS JOE NAMATH! Only not as "handsy.") They owe it all to a robocall from Ryan to Jets season ticket holders, reminding them that when you are at a sporting event it is acceptable—nay, even encouraged!—to voice your support for your favorite team through a series of "yells" and "cheers." No one had ever tried that before against Tom Brady and the Patriots and, shockingly, it worked! Genius! Enjoy your game ball, Faceless Horde!

Seriously though, Ryan said he wasn't going to kiss Bill Belichick's rings and now Bill Belichick can kiss his ass. At least until November when they meet again in New England. But you're the man for at least a few days, Rex. Even if your team might be stupidly messing around in that whole 49ers/Michael Crabtree debacle. Hey, what's football without a little tampering?.

Ryan praises role of loud crowd in Jets' victory [Newsday]
Rex Ryan's Jets back up all the talk, beat Tom Brady and Patriots, 16-9 [NYDN]
Jets' bombast bordering on the ridiculous [Dan Shaughnessy]
Patriot Pratfall: The View From New England [NY Times]
[Photo via Daily News]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Lane Kiffin: Tennessee did not get embarrassed by Tebow and The Swine Flu this weekend. So that's like a victory, right? Florida is a terrible Best Team Ever! [Orlando Sentinel/USA Today/SI]

Ray Lewis: HEY, DREW DEEP BALLS! WOULD A GLORY HOUND RUN THROUGH A PUNCTURE-WOUND SIZED HOLE IN THE SAN DIEGO FRONT AND WIN THE GAME BY HIMSELF? (But also win it for the team! But also for himself!) NOW YOU SHALL WATCH ME DO MY DANCE! [Baltimore Sun]

Frank Gore: Barry Sanders was the last guy to have two 79-plus-yard runs in the same game. That was the season he ran for 2,000 yards. The Lions later got bounced from the playoffs and Sanders retired a year later. What I'm trying to say is that Matt Millen should be the GM of the 49ers. [SF Chronicle]

Milton Bradley: America's surliest baseball player finally got his wish—he doesn't have to play for the Cubs anymore. [Chicago Tribune]

Charlie Weis: As long as Mark Dantonio has a job, Charlie Weis is going to be okay. [Lansing State Journal]

Quite the opposite, in fact. Sanchez gets hyped with sensitive acoustic ballads like James Taylor's Fire & Rain. "He likes soft rock before games - James Taylor, Elton John, Billy Joel," his brother tells the New York Daily News.

Hey, as long as he keeps converting third downs at this ridiculous clip, he can rock out to Mellisa Etheridge for all I care.

Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez uses James Taylor tune to get pumped before taking the field [NY Daily News]

Let's call this a Deleted-Deleted Scenes, but it is Saturday afternoon and there is no better time to spread ridiculous rumors than the present, so we'll get right to it. The first e-mail from a Los Angeles denizen, who is concerned about the New York Jets' character assessment of Mr. Sanchez.

Wow, Mark Sanchez is so handsome, well spoken, and just seems to impress everyone he meets, even pessimistic New Yorkers! He even looks like The Hoff and Jim Plunkett's love child. He's so perfect!

Errr.....{record scratch}

Breaking news:

This just in...Mark Sanchez has a tattoo of "Sanchez" on the inside of his lower lip. That's right, the inside of his lower lip. JEBUS! Either this demonstrates his "Hunkett" man-god toughness or how stupid he actually is. I'll side with the latter. NFL QBs are supposed to be good decision-makers right?

How do I know? First of all, I live in LA. You know we all know celebs. Secondly, the story of how I came about this knowledge is sort of personal (especially for Dirty Sanchez) . If you need additional details feel free to contact me and I will provide them.

And how on Gang Green earth could I pass up such a delightful invitation for lascivious accusations pertaining to the young man? My job is to wade through the horseshit and hearsay of these pressing matters that tenuously hold together the fabric of our fan-dom!

Unfortunately, the emailer ask that I keep the specifics of the details very hazy and off-record due to the nature of his friendship with an individual who was allegedly doggy-styled in the shower by Mr. Sanchez a couple of years ago. (Yes, it was a girl. Hooray.) It was some time during the vigorous copulation that she managed to inspect the inside of his lower lip, revealing the offensive "SANCHEZ" tattoo. Now, we all know a secret that's been safely guarded for years by Sanchez's dental hygienist and also the many ladies who've been lucky enough to be back-hammered by the former USC quarterback during his college days. Sports fans, consider yourselves wizened.

PHOTO: ObsessedWithSports

And the Jets home crowd is joyous with joy. With Brett Favre out of the pictures, leaving a quarterback void consisting of Kellen Clemens and a third century trebuchet, they are now fully equipped with a new QB, a new coach, and a new found sense of happiness. The end.

(If everybody hates this format, I'm more than willing to go bingo-free live blog style.)

USC Coach Pete Carroll seems downright despondent over his starting quarterback heading to the NFL.

The LA Times's, "All Things Trojan" blog has the video of the press conference, in which Carroll, usually brimming with positivity, struggles to hide his disappointment with Matt Sanchez's decision to go pro. The only upside to Sanchez coming out early seems to be that the other marquee underclassmen quarterbacks — Tebow, Bradford, McCoy— decided to wait another year. Even the USC faithful feel that Sanchez could use a little more seasoning.

Pete Carroll peeved about Mark Sanchez leaving [LA Times]