"Thanks, Jamaal. Glad to be here. Pretty happy to be out of Oakland and in a spry metropolis like Indianapolis."

"We're glad to have you. Listen, now that you're here, you have to go through Pacer initiation."

"Pacer initiation?"

"Yeah. Everybody's gotta go through it. Fred Hoiberg started the practice, and he is The Mayor, after all."

"All right, sounds great. What's the plan?"

"Well, we're gonna head to the 8 Seconds Saloon after we lose to your old team, and we're gonna beat the shit out of the bar manager."

"Really? That's the Hoiberg initiation?"

"Yeah. Originally, Fred liked to bash beer bottles over people's head, but the Pacers have a recycling resolution, and we don't want any trouble with upper management."

"Totally understood."

"All right, you ready? Hey, bring your cousin."

"Should I bring my gun?"

"Naw, man, Stephen don't play here anymore. Your flying fists of fury should be fine."

"Sweet. I love Indiana!"

Three Pacers Deny Attacking Bar Manager [Indianapolis Star]
The Pacers Have Had A Busier Morning Than You [Deadspin]

Well, Dallas Mavericks guard Marquis Daniels is mentioned in the story, and he has our favorite anecdote.

Marquis Daniels, of the Dallas Mavericks basketball team, thought he was getting his initials in Chinese. But what his arm actually says is 'healthy woman roof."

Best part about this? "Healthy woman roof" sounds exactly like something Dirk Nowitzki would say after draining a jumpshot in someone's face. "Healthy woman roof, bitch!"

Body Art With Botched Messages [New York Times]