The Bengals have spent years trying to shed the perception that they are nothing but violent, drug-addled thugs who have little interest in playing proper football—-and now that they've done that, they are actually a good team again. I hate to sound like Gregg Easterbrook here, but ... why would you tempt fate like this? Coach Marvin Lewis says that if the team does sign Johnson, he would be nothing more than a fourth-string back up. Why fill such an inconsequential spot with a potential problem child? Because fourth RBs are so hard to come by?

Let's be clear, Larry Johnson wasn't fired from the Chiefs because he called someone a "faggot" on Twitter. He was dumped because he was an aging, unlikeable, not-very-good running back who had become an annoying thorn in his coach's side. The fact that he threw around anti-gay slurs in public was just a convenient excuse for K.C. to wash their hands of him. He was a distraction that an 0-and-whatever team did not need. So why does a first-place team need it?

I don't believe in football gods, but I do believe that guys who wear hats like this should probably stay unemployed.

Source: Larry Johnson expects to sign with Cincinnati Bengals [ESPN]

Football is a tough sport. You're going to get injured. You're going to have aches and pains. You're probably never going to be playing at 100% of your health. But there is such a pervasive attitude that anyone who does sit out with any injury short of a broken bone is some kind of wimp, it makes any pronouncements about the NFL "looking out for" its players seem laughable.

It's all very subtle and non-threatening, but it's everywhere you look. The snide comments from assistant coaches. ("I don't talk to hurt guys.") Head coaches lecturing players about muscle strains. Trainers giving bucket hats to players receiving treatment, so that they're easily singled out for mockery. Everyone will say, we're just breaking balls. It's just good-natured ribbing, part of the camaraderie of training camp. But that stuff adds up and if you don't think it affects a player's mental state you're kidding yourself.

Later in the episode, there was a moment when the same coach who was teasing rookie Rey Maualuga about his bad shoulder, implores him to "don't be a jackass" and speak up if the injury is bothering him. But which of his coach's remarks do you think has the bigger impact? The constant shots at his manhood, how he's letting down his team, the direct implication that he needs to be on the field to secure his starting spot? Or the brief concern shown just seconds before he goes into a drill? He's long ago received the message.

Granted, a documentary doesn't show everything, but anyone who has been around a locker room (or even read our Softball Failures) knows what that culture of toughness is about. No matter what safety measures the league takes or the vast amount of medical training that goes into care for the walking wounded, it will never outweigh that subtle psychological game that tells athletes that injuries are for pussies.

Hard Knocks [HBO]

Instead of calling about 2,500 honor roll students with invitations to the shindig, Lewis' pre-recorded message went out to about 20,000 elementary school students regardless of their ability to spell, write cursive, do long division and suck up to their impressionable teachers. The "Academic Achievement Party" was completely foiled, because now, Lewis and the four Bengals were going to look down on the goody two-shoes while teaching the finer points of partying to the spitball-blowing class clowns.

So Lewis did the only thing he could do: He recorded another apologetic message and rescinded the invite to the non-honor roll students. Lose-lose situation. Students were, naturally, distraught, learning at a young age what it's like to be a Bengals fan.

The Bengals weren't happy, either. They thought they were in for a good time.

CPS kids get bad call from Bengals coach [Cincy.com]

This has already made it around a bit, but because we're feeling festive and full of the holiday spirit this morning, so we thought we'd share this special video, put together to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer" — not typically one of our holiday favorites — and concerning Marvin Lewis and his sleigh of felonious Cincinnati Bengals. Good for an early morning chuckle, if you've had some nog.

(Big ups to With Leather on this one. Yes, you scooped our ass ... by like half an hour!)

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell called Bengals president Mike Brown on Monday to offer his help. Eight Bengals players have been arrested this year — three since the commissioner visited with the team Sept. 20. "Obviously, when you have incidents that don't reflect well on the National Football League, you have to deal with that aggressively," Goodell said Tuesday. "Our players and coaches are seen at a higher level by the public."

And it seems like Lewis is finally getting the message. (We wonder what practice is like sometimes over there. The first season of Deadwood is a distinct possibility).

"Unfortunately, I can't hold their hands 24/7, but it is embarrassing," Lewis said on Tuesday. "It's an embarrassment to our organization, to our city and to our fans. These things socially are not right." Aside from our idea of bringing in Jerry Tarkanian as a consultant, we're not sure how to help. Shame you guys ran Huggins out of town; he could offered some input.

Bengals Draw League's Attention [Cincinnati Enquirer]
Eight Is Enough [SI.com]

Why ... it's that blasted Internet! NFL rumor site Pro Football Talk — the site is in there somewhere, under the 40 layers of banner ads (none of which are Lane Bryant, by the way) — reported a fight yesterday.

[As the] last few minutes of intermission were ticking away, when the players were startled by the sight and sound of a helmet slamming against the glass pane of the training room door. Inside, receiver Chad Johnson and receivers coach Hue Jackson were engaged in an altercation. At one point, Johnson was seen holding Jackson in a headlock. Coach Marvin Lewis entered the training room to intervene, and Johnson (per the source) took a swing at him.

We simply refuse to believe this is true, unless of course this was part of a complicated touchdown dance that the world just wasn't ready for. Perhaps it involved a deer.

Chad Took Swing At Marvin [Pro Football Talk]
Chad: There Was No Fight [