I wouldn't normally single out an individual opinion piece for criticism (because if anyone did that to me, I'd be ruined), but ... come on. Why would anyone defend Matt Millen? How could anyone defend Matt Millen? The thesis revolves around the fact that Millen has been hired to do color commentary for the NFL Network, which will keep him steadily employed by football despite that fact that he appears to know nothing about football. He is unquestionably the worst GM of all time. However, Banks is actually happy to seem him back in the booth and thinks his star will rise again, somehow rendering my previous sentence irrelevant.

His model for Millen's redemption? Richard Milhous Nixon.

I know it all sounds a bit preposterous right now, predicting a comeback before he's even done his penance. But when I think of Millen, I just get the feeling he's got a shot to become something of the Richard Nixon of the NFL, picking up the pieces of a colossal failure and re-emerging to prominence at some point in the future. Dare we say it, perhaps even an eventual return to power in some team's personnel department?

First of all, he has not served any penance. He was unemployed for two months and then his friends gave him a job. That's part of the problem. Second, let's clear up the matter of whether Matt Millen was a good broadcaster. May I quote the esteemed Dr. Magary?

The whole reason Matt Millen was laughed at when he started out in Detroit was because EVERYONE FUCKING HATED HIM AS A BROADCASTER. He took John Madden's broadcasting style and somehow managed to make even more inane, spawning a legion of similar broadcasters in the process. Wanna know where fucking Bill Maas came from? MILLEN. Mark fucking Schlereth? MILLEN. Any shithead analyst that has nothing to say outside of, "I tell you one thing, Eli Manning is a COMPETITOR"? MILLEN.

That's all Matt Millen's doing. Why the FUCK would anyone bring him back to TV, especially in light of what he did to the Lions? The man has all the credibility of fucking InventHelp. And anyone who tells you, "Hey, Millen was actually an okay broadcaster!" is fucking wrong.

Every word of that quote is true. (Especially the ones in all caps.) Millen led the revolution of Madden clones that infect our sports world today. Rising to the top of the Fox Sports chain is proof of mediocrity, not greatness. The most hated color men in baseball are Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan, Fox and ESPN's No. 1 guys respectfully. Millen was terrible. The end.

But back to Nixon. He was the vice-president in 1960, lost the presidential election to John Kennedy, lost a governor's race in 1962 and everyone assumed his political career was dead and buried. Then all of the sudden, it's 1969 and he's the President of the United States. An amazing turnaround, right?

Then he became the most corrupt and hated man to ever hold that office and was forced to resign in shame. Maybe Banks didn't read all the way to the end of the history book, but Nixon's second act was actually worse than the first one! If everyone had remembered in 1968 how awful the guy was in 1960, the world would be a better place right now.

When I said that Banks was comparing Millen to Nixon, didn't you assume he meant post-Watergate Nixon, since that historic debacle is the only thing that could possibly compare to the failure of the Detroit Lions? Nope. Banks is saying that Millen has even bigger failures ahead of him. Oh joy.

In the end, I quess I actually agree with Banks. I can see Millen resurrecting his career the way Nixon did ... and then he will perpetrate one of the worst crimes imaginable on the citizenry of this country. The ARE exactly alike. Millen proved it in his phone interview with Banks:

"You're not going to believe this,'' said Millen, laughing heartily. "But one of my favorite shirts I have — in fact, I have it on right now — has a picture of Dick Nixon on it,

The man is wearing a Richard Nixon shirt RIGHT NOW! It's his FAVORITE!! He's a Nixon BUFF!! GRAAHAHA CAPS LOCK!!! STOP DEFENDING THIS MAN!!!!

I hate you all so much right now.

Matt Millen tries to remake image after Detroit Lions debacle [Don Banks - SI]

According to one source, Millen will take the spot once occupied by the comically incompetent Smith, adding color and pregame/halftime/post-game analysis with Stu Scott and plastic cup assault victim Steve Young.
Remember that regardless of Millen's disastrous overseeing of the Lions, many in the broadcasting industry think he's one of the best in the business at x-ing/o-ing/colorizing. NBC brought on Millen last year as a special correspondent for their Super Bowl coverage and it seemed imminent that he would join them full-time this season. But Norby (!) swooped in with the big dollars and now Millen's in Bristol.

Thankfully there is no Monday night game in Detroit this year, or else Millen would probably get hit in the face with an object that would most likely cause more disfigurement than a souvenir cup.

Other shake-ups that will happen: Yes, Adam Schefter from NFL Network is in, longtime football reporter Len Pasquarelli is out. ESPN says Len is staying put.

ESPN is putting together some sort of comment for me, but I have to go meet some people so I don't feel like waiting around all day. If/when they do, I'll fix anything wrong with this report via one of those cute little "UPDATE" things.

As you were. Oh, and hi guys. Happy Saturday.

UPDATE: Espn "Respectfully declines comment." Later!

It didn't help that their parent company snatched up the unemployed wide-receiver lover and then stuck him smack dab in the middle of the most watched football game of the year, as a not-so-subtle reminder to Lions fans that another generation of their progeny shall never taste the sweet bliss of championship glory. But Channel 4 Detroit does not take such slights willingly, instead choosing to run the following message along the bottom of screen anytime Millen's mug appeared on it:

Matt Millen was president of the Lions for the worst eight-year run in the history of the NFL. Knowing his history with the team, is there a credibility issue as he now serves as an analyst for NBC Sports?"

All right then. That's quite an eff you to the boys back at corporate, but it also generated about 36 pages of comments on their website. It could also just be a way of telling the people of Detroit, "This was not our idea. Please don't fire bomb the station."

Instant Feedback: Matt Millen As NBC Sports Analyst [WDIV Detroit]
Warning! Matt Millen's on [Freep, via Fan IQ]

The fans at Ford Field—the ones that show up—have gotten notably nastier as Lions head toward their 0-16 season. Or maybe they're just noticeable because the rest of the stands are so quiet that players on the field say they can hear individual taunts. Apparently, Raiola had enough on Sunday and gave a few hecklers a piece of his flexible middle finger.

"I don't take one thing back," Raiola said Monday. "I'll say the same thing to a fan that I see in the street. I wish I could give my address out to some fans. I'll do that.

"But, you know, I can't. Nobody plays with fists. Everybody wants to play with metal. So I can't.

"I'm so frustrated. I'm tired of being a doormat for people to just talk to us how they want to talk to us. I'm just not going to put up with it anymore."

I would personally like to seem him hand out business cards to fans after the game, printed with the time and place where he will kick their ass. Of course, that wouldn't make the Lions any better or solve the mystery of why Millen's removal seems to have only made the team worse. He was fired ten games ago and Detroit is more pathetic than they've ever been. That must explain the rumor from NFL "sources" that Millen is still secretly pulling the strings in Motown.

Two different National Football League sources - one of them close to the Fords - insist that the Millen firing earlier this season was just a ploy to appease angry fans of the 0-13 Lions and that Millen is still calling the shots and on the club’s payroll as a consultant. One NFL scout acknowledged that this rumour is making the rounds through the league and that while he couldn’t absolutely confirm it, it wouldn’t be shocking news to many in the football world. "It wouldn’t surprise me at all," he said. Added another NFL personnel type: "Whoever is calling the shots, they’re doing a terrible job at it."

I don't think I buy it (although Millen and William Clay Ford Sr. are clearly BFFL), but the mere fact that it's completely plausible says something about the club. Maybe it doesn't say as much as the fact that Ford's actual business is even closer to folding than the Lions are, but it definitely says something.

Raiola: No apologies for response to heckling fans [Free Press]
Is Millen still calling the shots for the Lions? [Windsor Star]
MILLEN STILL RUNNING THE SHOW IN DETROIT? [World Of Isaac]
How Not To Build a Team: The Detroit Lions Draft History [Bleacher Report]

Carter — who's an ESPN analyst now — seems to be suffering from amnesia; either that, or he just doesn't listen to himself. On ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown, Carter had a couple of interesting takes on two Matt Millen draft choices. Unfortunately he completely contradicts himself with both. On the air while waiting for game time on Sunday, Carter criticized Millen — who was fired last week — for drafting receiver disappointments like Charles Rodgers and Mike Williams.

From Yahoo Sports:

Carter helped both Williams and Rogers train before their respective drafts. And this is what he said about that on Sunday: “Matt Millen – do a little undercover work. (Mike) Williams and Charlie Rogers both worked out with me before the draft. I could have told him, don’t draft neither one of them. (He) never asked me.”

That’s interesting because here is what you said about both players just before they were drafted. Carter’s comments about Rogers, to the Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel just before the 2003 draft: “He’s very similar – and I don’t like to make a lot of comparisons – to Randy (Moss) in a sense, a big basketball player playing wide receiver. He’s the only receiver that’s come out since Randy that you can make an honest comparison to. He has a yearning to learn.” So much for consistency.

I'm sure this is just the crack analysis ESPN was looking for when they fired Sean Salisbury.

Winners And Losers; Favre Sends A Message [Yahoo Sports]

The Detroit Free Press has a surprisingly mesmerizing photo retrospective titled "The Matt Millen Era" which is where I snagged the photo featured above. That one just seems to be an appropriate visual metaphor for Millen's reign as Lion's president.

Of course Lions fans are deeply saddened by the news, holding candle light vigils and vehemently protesting Ford's rash decision.

But this move will probably benefit both the team and Millen in the long run. The Lions faithful will finally have someone else to blame for their sustained lousiness or they can actually get a person in there to fix it. And Millen will...well. At least he will have more time to cut the grass.

*************

Tonight: It's time to curl up and watch the Phillies' game and see what explodes first — their season or their fanbase by way of hot dog terrorists.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin during this wintry economic climate. Free Skeets.

But it did happen, and the beatdown of the "Fire Millen" guy served as the movement's Boston Massacre. It didn't take long for idea to gain traction, and before long "Fire Millen" was, seemingly, the official slogan of the state of Michigan. It turned up on banners, on Tee-shirts, and appeared at Pistons games and on college campuses. On Dec. 11, 2005, the crowd chanted "Fire Millen!" at a Lakers-Pistons game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. A "Fire Millen" sign was shown in the background of a February 3, 2007 broadcast of ESPN College Gameday at the University of Kansas. A web site sprang up. There were marches and other organized protests. "Fire Millen" became the new millennium's "John 3:16."

Millen, so successful as a player (four Super Bowl rings with three teams), wasn't much as a general manager. Just look at the draft picks. Mike Williams. Charles Rodgers. Kevin Jones. Boss Bailey. The entire 2003 class. But somehow, he kept his job, seemingly holding no less a spell over Lions management than Rasputin held over the Romanovs.

I must admit that I feel a tinge of pride that my 49ers delivered the final, devastating blow: a 31-13 trouncing of the Lions at Candlestick Point. The fact that it was San Francisco offensive coordinator Mike Martz and quarterback J.T. O'Sullivan who administered the beating — the same two men whom the Lions had given up on the year before — was too much for even Clay Ford Sr. to bear, it appears. Lions fans stormed the Bastille, and Ford had not the energy to resist. He closed his eyes and waved his hand, and Millen was finally gone.

Wow. Who would have thought that Lane Kiffin would have outlasted Matt Millen?

Ironically, word out of Detroit as late as Tuesday had Millen's job totally secure. But a vote of no-confidence by Clay Ford Jr. seems to have been the deciding blow.

But the questions is, now what? Details of the firing are yet to be forthcoming. Will Millen's replacement begin the team back on the path to greatness, or are the Lions doomed to wander 40 years in the wilderness? Lions fans have expended so much energy trying to rid themselves of Matt Millen, they may not have enough left to embrace what comes next.

Ford Sr. Turns Deaf Era To Dissent Opinions, Even His Son's [Detroit Free Press]

Millen was informed of the move last night during a late-night high-level meeting. This morning several people within the building confirmed that he had large packing boxes in his office and he made his way around to different employees telling them of the move.

It's unclear at this point as to whether Millen was fired or resigned, but it does seem odd that this decision was made so quickly after the Ford Jr. comments. More details to follow.

But wow. How is it possible that this is one of the least surprising firings in sports, yet I still feel a little shocked by it?

Millen Out As Lions GM, President [Fox Sports]
Millen Is Out! [PFT]

Ultimately, this type of public flogging will probably not result in any immediate dismissal for Millen and only result in Ford Jr. issuing an apology for insubordination. Millen signed a five-year contract extension back in 2005 where the elder Ford backed Millen. Here's that infamous quote: “I think Matt has built a great foundation for us to move forward. I cannot think of anyone better to see it through than Matt.”

His son probably has a few suggestions.

Ford Jr.: Millen Should Resign [Detroit News]

Even though some people think they still won't make the playoffs, the Lions turned a few skulls this weekend with their trashing of the Broncos. We're not quite sure it means Matt Millen is a sudden genius, but clearly, Jon Kitna is receiving messages from God, and they're telling him to make fun of his assistant coaches.

As some of you might know, we're longtime friends with Michael David Smith of The Fanhouse, and ever since college, his Lions and our Buzzsaw have seemingly played each other every year. (This is because they're usually both so awful.) We bet every year on the game, and this year, we're betting a post on it. So when the Lions crush the Buzzsaw this Sunday, look for that. Maybe he can explain what the hell's going on.

(Getty Images Photo)

Charles Rogers, Millen's most famous draft mistake (though he's hardly the only one who thought Rogers would be great), appears CFL-bound. Perhaps it's because he has gotten a bit, oh, slower.

The Kansas City Chiefs worked out Charles Rogers Friday. The same #1 draft pick Charles Rogers, who at the 2003 combine or pro day, allegedly ran a 4.28....According to reports, Charles clocked in at 4.83 in the 40, and the Chiefs terminated the workout. See, cuz three of the Chiefs D-linemen can run a sub 4.8.

Rogers is said to be considering a spot with the Saskatchewan Rough Riders. Is weed legal in Canada yet?

Charles Rogers To Learn A New, Cheesier Anthem [Sports Review Magazine[

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of Matt Millen's mind.

You're a savvy sports fan, so you know that Millen drafted wide receivers in the first rounds of three of the last four drafts. Thanks to his commitment to a top receiving corps, the Lions' starting receivers last year were Roy Williams (the best of the picks) and Mike Furrey (a former Rams receiver turned safety). For variety, they sometimes used Josh McCown, a former Cardinals quarterback, as a slot receiver.

According to an NFL Network report, Lions offensive coordinator Mike Martz convinced Millen to select Johnson by explaining how he would use the receiver in his offense. "I plan to have Jon Kitna throw footballs to him," Martz explained. "Gosh, I never would have thought of that," Millen replied. "Now back to my Spider-Man coloring book. Staying between the lines is ever so hard."

For the record, Millen probably plans to trade Johnson, perhaps in the next few hours, perhaps to Tampa for some additional picks. Way to go, Matt. You're the smartest guy in the room. With your track record, there's no way this burst of creativity and chutzpah will explode in your face.

Granted, Johnson probably won't go bust the way Mike Williams and Charles Rogers did. The kid's got the talent of Terrell Owens, the morals of Saint Augustine (post conversion), and the work ethic of Spongebob. He was tough to evaluate at times, because his quarterback at Georgia Tech's arm was about as accurate as a Sylvia Browne horoscope, but Johnson has Pro Bowl ability. He'll be great, and if the Lions keep him, the Williams-Johnson-Furrey combo will be hard to stop. It's just that the Lions need defensive players. And a quarterback, and an upgrade on the line. Et cetera.

If Millen doesn't get a good deal done (there had better be a second round pick involved), every football blog on the net is going to pillory this pick. I'm not a fish-in-the-barrel kind of guy. I'm also not a Lions fan. Thank heavens. Millen's incompetent, the Lions stink, let's move on.

The press conference will introduce four of the key fighters for the event: MMA legend Royce Gracie, former WWE wrestler and NCAA national champion amateur wrestler Brock Lesnar, 7-foot-2-inch K-1 fighter Hong-Man Choi, and former NFL player Johnnie Morton.

I'm surprised Jeff George never went that route in retirement.

I don't know if they have an opponent figured out for him, but... well, Matt Millen did once call Morton a "faggot." And Jay Leno's out there, too. Leno made fun of Morton's 0-12 Lions once upon a time, prompting Morton to tell Leno to kiss his ass. Two-on-one handicap match, Johnnie Morton vs. Matt Millen and Jay Leno? There would be no downside.

Gracie & Lesnar at L.A. Coliseum Official [MMA Weekly]

Lions Exec Uses Slur Against Player [Outsports]

In an interview yesterday about the upcoming NFL Draft, the indestructible Lions general manager thought it would be funny to mock the hopes and dreams of Detroit fans, dreams he has personally eradicated.

"I am a wide receiver expert," joked Millen, who spoke to a small group of reporters in the lobby of the Westin Hotel in downtown Indianapolis on the eve of today's NFL combine.

Millen was then asked if the Lions would avoid taking Johnson because they had picked receivers Charles Rogers (Michigan State), Roy Williams and Mike Williams with their first pick for three straight years. "I don't know if you've noticed this, but we haven't really looked at what people have said we should do too often," he said.

Ha. Ha. Ha ha ha. [Commence bashing face into brick wall covered by old Barry Sanders poster.]

Part of me hopes that the Lions have some crazy can't-lose offensive sets that they've been saving for just such an event. I'd like for them to be down 21 points when the walkout starts, and then make a stunning comeback victory in front of 11 fans. I can't get behind the movement to Fire Millen... he provides too much material. And I can't wait until they draft Calvin Johnson in the next draft.

There are a lot of teams that have had bad seasons in '06... the Bucs, Raiders, Texans, Browns, Cardinals, etc. They know they don't have a lot to be happy about. But at least it hasn't come to this.

Lions not too concerned about possible fan protest [mlive.com]

And then there's the Fire Millen movement. Lions fans have been trying to rid themselves of the ineffectual general manager for, jeez, five years now? And it has done nothing, made no difference, done nothing but make him stronger. At this point, it seems clear that Matt Millen's never going to leave Detroit, and he could care less. This weekend is yet another "Fire Millen" protest in Detroit, almost exactly a year since the last one. But Matt Millen will outlast us all; we not only think he'll survive in Detroit, we expect him to be running two or three other franchises by the end of the decade.

From The Office Of Matt Millen [Clubber Lang's Basement]
Fire Millen [Deadspin]

• He was selected in the first round of the NFL draft by the Green Bay Packers in '97.
• Was a Christian missionary when he first came into the league
• Missed all of 2003 with a torn bicep
• Started all of the 2004 season with the Browns
• Paid the Browns $465,000 to release him, and then did not play in 2005
• Had some rape allegations thrown his way
• Was spotted in Vegas partying with Paris Hilton, Tara Reid, and... Bob Sura.
• Won a half-million dollars in Vegas, then spent most of it on a pool party.
• According to Len Pasquarelli, most people felt he'd never play in the NFL again

So, of course, the next logical step there is for some NFL GM to give him $4 million to play this year, and a contract worth up to $20 million total. And there is one GM who was willing to to just that, and I bet you don't need any help in guessing who. That's right... our old pal Matt Millen.

$4 million this year, for a guy who did not play last year and was assumed to be out of football. As you read his column, you can almost hear Len Pasquarelli trying to refrain from chuckling. And hey, if it doesn't work out, maybe they could trade him to the Knicks for Jerome James.

Verba's contract with Lions worth up to $20 million [ESPN.com]
Paris Hilton And Ross Verba: Our Lucy And Ricky [Deadspin]

Well, we love Gil Thorp — it's our favorite daily dose of the inexplicable. And a reader directs us to a panel we missed from February 20.

Note the sign that the fan in the background is carrying.

Yes! Fire Millen!

Gil Thorp Online [ChicagoSports]