mattoon Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Inbounding From Half-Court, 0.7 Seconds Left: No Problem.
Mattoon (Ill.) High School, which counts editor emeritus Will Leitch as a notable alumnus, won its game against Rantoul yesterday off a last-second inbounds pass in a tie game. The Jared Pilson pass was so on-the-mark, Ryan Hutchinson's placement so perfect, that the Green Wave bench started to er...
HEAVENS TO BETSY: LEBRON TO MATTOON, SAYS...STONED LOCAL
"@DEADSPIN Librarian sez WE'RE GONNA NEED SOME MORE ROLLOUT BLEACHERS!" [@williamfleitch]...
More News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls ride the mechanical bull while topless....
News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon (UPDATE)
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls start powder puff football brawls that spill over into the crowd....
Triumph Of Will
So many of you sent in photos capturing Leitch's brief cameo on YES (photos sent via computer of a TV screen on which a writer is staring at a computer screen) that we decided to make a pretty gallery. Enjoy!...
Jim Edmonds Would Like To Invite You To His Stripper Battle Royal
Here's something fun for Midwesterners looking for a bazoonga-infested activity on a lonely Friday night in St. Louis: It's a "Queen Of The Pole" party, with your very special guest, former Cardinal Jim Edmonds....
Topless Midget Wrestling Controversy Rocks Sleepy Illinois Community
When we allow the government to take away our right to watch tiny ladies wrestle topless, what's next? Will they take away our right to vote? To breathe? It happened in Canton, Illinois: as police were shocked to discover that a recent "midget wrestling event" took place at the Outskirts Bar & Grill...
MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
Hey, Why Is Kenny Chesney Suddenly Calling Me?
In our original neck of the woods in Mattoon, Ill., NFL loyalties are rather split. Some people root for the Chicago Bears (four hours away), some root for the Indianapolis Colts (90 minutes away) and some odd souls hopped on the Rams bandwagon (two hours away). (Some insane people stuck with the fo...
Why Your Team Isn't Named "The Cute Cuddly Animals"
Where we grew up, in the humble burg of Mattoon, Illinois, there was a small town nearby called Fisher. The town was tiny, but large enough to have a piddly little high school. The nickname for the school's sports teams: The Fisher Bunnies. It was difficult to be too intimidated....