Memphis was supposedly decimated when John Calipari took everything but The Door with him on his way out of town, but the 32-year-old head coach took his rag tag bunch of SAT fakers into St. Louis and nearly knocked off the No. 1 team in his second game. Their conference (and the rest of their schedule, really) is still very winnable so expect a lot more "boy genius" stories before this year is out. Maybe someone will take a picture of him at an actual game before the year is out too. (Seriously, this is all the AP has on him.)

Honorable Mention: Matt Bradley. He had to leave the Rangers-Capitals game last night after getting beat up in the first period and got six stitches over his right eye. Then he scored the game-winning goal with five minutes to go in the third. That's a so-so night. [Wash. Post]

Isiah Thomas: He won a game! He won a game! I don't believe what I just saw! [Sun-Sentinel]

* * * * *

As mentioned earlier, we're trying something new this week. Since Barry's last post is actually the first thing that most of you see when you get up in the morning, that's the new "Wake Up, Deadspin!" So keep sending your "Morning Crap" photos and they'll generally end up there. Then I'll be making this spot the new daily version of the "Weekend Winner," as way to highlight one key story from last night's sports action. Is this a good idea? Who the hell knows? We're holding this thing together with paper clips.

If this upsets your rigid, Rain Man-like morning schedule, I apologize. There's still ten minutes to Wapner.

It's sounding like a done deal that the NCAA will announce the ruling tomorrow, and they're not buying the results of Memphis' internal investigation, which — surprise, surprise — found no evidence of wrongdoing.

But apparently those not on the school's payroll were able to find some evidence that the real Derrick Rose had very little to do with Derrick Rose's SAT, and that his brother received $2,260 in free travel. These are both major no-nos.

The current team, under new coach Josh Pastner, won't be punished. But the damage is done - that record '08 season? Gone. And setting an ignominious record is John Calipari, the first man to vacate Final Four appearances at two different schools. So if Kentucky makes it to Indy next April, I wouldn't rush out and buy the t-shirt.

Source: Memphis Tigers to Forfeit Record 2007-'08 Basketball Season [Memphis Commercial Appeal]

Charles Robinson and Jason Cole: Yahoo! Sports has learned tonight—on the eve of the national championship game between the Memphis Tigers and the Kansas Jayhawks—that star freshman guard Derrick Rose has been declared ineligible for allegedly cheating on his college entrance exam.

Jim Nantz: Hello, friends. I regret to report that March Madness has come to a sad end. Every rose has its thorn—and Derrick Rose's shocking suspension has forced the Memphis Tigers to concede tonight's title game to Kansas. Rock, chalk, championship by forfeit!

Billy Packer: CBS will never be able to force me out now. What college basketball needs to get through this horrible crisis is my patented brand of old-man finger wagging.

Mario Chalmers: I'm coming back to Kansas for my senior year. I might've left school early if I had made one of the greatest shots in NCAA Tournament history, but that didn't happen.

John Calipari: Considering all of these accusations, I believe it's for the best that I step down as the basketball coach at the University of Memphis.

The Door: (Creaks open, then closes. Forever.)

Erin Calipari's Facebook status: This is all Pat Forde's fault.

Chad Ford: We're hearing that Derrick Rose is plummeting out of the lottery. GM after GM has told us that Rose is untouchable because of perceived "character issues." With Pavel Podkolzin having pulled his name out of the draft, the Bulls are now strongly tied to Italian teenager Danilo Gallinari.

David Stern: With the first pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls select … Derrick Rose from the University of Memphis.

Jeff Zeleny, New York Times: Vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin claimed today that Democrat Barack Obama "palled around" with the Chicago operatives who allegedly rigged star hoopster Derrick Rose's SAT test.

Dan Balz, Washington Post: In a historic election year, Barack Obama became the first African-American to secure his party's nomination for the presidency. Tonight, he became the first African-American to lose to John McCain. "My opponent ran a brilliant campaign," Obama said. "Those ads where they superimposed Derrick Rose's face over Willie Horton really worked."

John McCain: There is no place for a playoff in college football. The bowl system has worked just fine for a century and I don't see any reason to change it. Back when I was a boy in 1902, I remember going to the first Rose Bowl …

Jim Nantz: Rock, chalk, another championship. Mario Chalmers and Kansas have done it again!

Billy Packer: I don't care what the final score says, Jim. I'm giving the trophy to Tyler Hansbrough and the North Carolina Tar Heels. What a tough, scrappy, hard-working, effort-giving champion.

Pete Garcia, Florida International athletic director: We have conducted a comprehensive search to find the finest disgraced basketball mind in all the land. Today, we are proud to announce that John Calipari is our new head coach.

John Calipari: It is an honor and a privilege to be here. Now I'll let the newest FIU Golden Panthers, John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins, say a few words.

Isiah Thomas: It is an honor and a privilege to be in my living room, still unemployed.

Pat Riley: It is an honor and a privilege to become the coach at my alma mater, the University of Kentucky. I have the ingredient UK needs to get back to the promised land: slicked-back hair.

Myles Brand: After an exhaustive investigation, we have discovered no irregularities in Derrick Rose's SAT scores. Please carry on.

Report: NCAA accuses Memphis men's basketball of major violations [ESPN]
Memphis Tigers find no proof Derrick Rose cheated on SAT [ESPN]

CBS Sports is reporting that Robert Dozier—who graduated from Memphis as the winningest player in college basketball history—originally tried to enroll at Georgia, but the school would not take him because his SAT score was "fishy." He took the SAT a second time, but the school was still not convinced his score was legitimate. So instead he went to Memphis and joined the most successful class in NCAA hoops history.

The problem with this accusation—and the similar accusation against Derrick Rose—is that it's nearly impossible to prove unless they were caught in the act, which they weren't. It's just a suspicion that something was amiss and as Memphis rightly pointed out in the Rose instance, he was cleared to play by the NCAA. So the sports cops can't exactly come back a year later and blame the school. Plus, if the cheating happened in high school is that Memphis' fault? Or are they ultimately to blame for admitting a kid who cheated on his SAT, even if they were duped too?

Conspiracy hounds would say that of course Memphis knew what was up, because these kids can't have a sandwich without a recruiter knowing about it. Even if they didn't know, does that fact they would ignore the warning signs when another school was so suspicious saying something about the Tigers ethics? But without proof (and with Rose and Dozier long gone) it won't make much difference one way or the other. Memphis (and John Calipari) won't be punished and those who think they're both dirty will never be convinced otherwise. And that's why we all love college sports!

Dozier went to Memphis, not Georgia, because of SAT flap [CBS Sports]
Memphis: We didn't cheat [AP]
Memphis Responds… and Guess What, Everything Was a Big Misunderstanding! [Rush The Court]
[Photo via Memphis Commerical-Appeal]

The Sun-Times is now reporting that four student-athletes at Simeon High School in Chicago, including Rose, had grades changed on their high school transcripts after graduation. The grades were changed for a brief period before the transcripts were mailed to prospective colleges, and then changed back once they were sent. No one knows who changed the grade or why, and it would not have affected their high school eligibility, although Rose and two of the other athletes that were allegedly involved starred on Simeon's back-to-back state championship teams.

The idea that a guy who spent one year in college before jumping to the NBA might have needed (and received) a whole lot of under-the-table help to get into college must surely be shocking and appalling to you, but Rose is already in the NBA so your righteous anger will need to be funneled somewhere else. How about the spelling bee?

Derrick Rose's high school grade altered [Chicago Sun-Times]

So that's what he was hiding behind The Door. The allegations include "knowing fraudulence" (that's really a word! I looked it up.) or "misconduct" on an SAT exam by a player on the 2007-2008 team, and that they also provided over $2,000 in free travel to an "associate" of that same player. The player's name is redacted in the letter sent by the NCAA to Memphis and obtained by the Memphis Commercial Appeal, but he only participated in that one season—which included 38 wins and a national championship appearance—so that pretty much narrows it down to one-and-done Tiger hero Derrick Rose.

There are many people out there who are of the opinion that Calipari is a slimy no-good swindler and this just makes his convenient shuffle on down to Kentucky (more on them later) that more more slippery. Those people will be happy to know that Calipari was not named in the letter and will face no repercussions. Neither will current coach Josh Pastner or anyone one else on present or future Tiger teams. Rose is long gone, so they can't touch him. So what, you might be asking, is the point? Well, if the Tigers are found guilty it's possible that they will be forced to "vacate" their record 38 wins from that year, taking away the four-year win record that belonged to this year's senior class, give up a Conference USA championship, I suppose, and also take down any Final Four banners that they may or may not have. In other words, nothing.

As I've noted before, vacated wins and records are a common NCAA punishment that actually punishes no one. Remember, this is a "major" violation, but both Calipari and the Memphis athletic department were adamant that no one currently in college basketball will be scarred by this. So if the allegation is true, it means that Memphis helped a player who had no intention of ever graduating cheat so he could enroll in school for one year, then he helped the school to its greatest season ever and skipped town with no repercussions to anyone except the stat guy who has to buy more erasers. The Memphis golf team (which is also part of the investigation) will probably suffer more.

Seriously, great job all around.

Report: NCAA accuses Memphis Tigers of violations [Memphis Commercial Appeal]
Geoff Calkins: Allegations like this come with the Calipari territory [Memphis Commercial Appeal]
Report: NCAA accuses Memphis men's basketball of major violations [ESPN]

DeMarcus Cousins, one of the coach's prize commitments when he was still working for the Tigers, has changed that commitment and now says he will attend Kentucky. Well, ain't that a kick a pants. Their other top recruit, Xavier Henry, has also "reopened" his recruiting even though—unlike Cousins—he had already signed a letter of intent to play at Memphis. Kids are so crafty these days. He may not follow Calipari to Lexington, but rumor has it that the only way Memphis holds on to him is if new coach Josh Pastner gives Henry's dad a job in the basketball program, which believe it or not, is totally allowed under NCAA rules. I believe the word you're looking for is "integrity."

If Henry bolts to Kansas or Kentucky, his older brother C.J. (a walk-on at Memphis) will probably leave too. He's not on scholarship because he's actually under contract to the New York Yankees, who are paying for his schooling even though he apparently gave up on baseball last year. He didn't play a single minute this season, but it doesn't matter because he was only there to lure Xavier anyway.

Add in the loss of freshman Tyreke Evans to the NBA (who probably would have left anyway), the winningest senior class ever, and Facebook princess Megan Calipari and the school will be seriously lacking in talent next year. And all because Billy Gillispie can't handle halftime interviews. What a world.

UK lands Cousins [The Courier-Journal]
DeMarcus Cousins to Kentucky [Rush The Court]
Memphis not hiring recruit's father [Lawrence Journal-World]
Memphis grants recruit Xavier Henry release [Sporting News]
Wall weighs hefty decision [News Observer]

This thing is reaching mythic proportions. The Door and everyone associated it with are bona fide internet celebrities. Who knew that the simple steel hatchway of a Conference USA athletic department could enthrall an entire nation; nay ... an entire planet. (It's even more popular than The Gate at the coach's house.) Who gives a crap where John Calipari ends up? The Door should be the one getting a $4 million deal.

Personally, I can't wait for "The Door: The Movie." Starring Morgan Freeman as the grizzled veteran reporter about to stumble on the scoop of a lifetime, Reese Witherspoon as the plucky Lois Lane-type who is about to learn a lesson they didn't teach her at journalism school, and Hugh Jackman as ... The Door. It will make Ironman 2 look like Leonard Part 6.

The latest word now is that the University of Kentucky has dispatched a private charter plane to Memphis in order to pick up ... THE DOOR!! What a Cinderella story!

THE DOOR!! [Facebook]
Door Watch + Gate Watch [MyFox Memphis]
Calipari Watch, Day 2: Pretty Blonde Reporter Is Latest Victim Of The Madness [Deadspin]
Calipari Headed To Kentucky, Door Likely To Follow As Assistant [Sporting Blog]

UPDATE: Calipari has accepted, of course. The Door abides.

* * * * *

Well, that's it for today, I guess. Remember, every time God closes one door, he opens up a window somewhere else ... and then throws 35 million dollars out of it. Thank you for your continued support of entrances and exits everywhere.

Because when you have a un-moderated chatroom filled with bored trolls trying to out-jackass each other, introducing an attractive young woman to the proceedings is probably not the best way to soothe tensions. Naturally, discussion turned to disgusting acts involving her eyes, most of them a felony in Tennessee, that certain chat members would like to perform on said reporter—or any live female who might actually acknowledge their existence.

That poor woman.

Of course, it just devolved from there. Some other choice comments from the evening, can be seen below:

Brilliant stuff. Anyway, the web cam is back on the door today and it seems to have rained last night. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!! Can't Les Smith (a.k.a., Anonymous Black Guy Reporter) bring some sanity to this mess. He's only been sitting in a parking lot for two days trying to decipher thousands of internet rumors and disinformation. Just moments ago, he reported that Calipari is saying goodbye to his staff right now! Memphis students are marching in protest! The wheels are in motion!

THIS JUST IN:

The latest contract rumor from ESPN is that the Kentucky offer is just about $4 million per for eight years, but the Memphis boosters are currently holding a bake sale to try and raise enough cash to please John Calipari's mighty urges. Kentucky will not be denied, Tiger fans. It's time to let it go. You don't hear the video crew forced to sit outdoors for 48 hours complaining, do you?

Actually, maybe you can. The mic is still on.

Source: John Calipari contemplates taking Kentucky Wildcats job [ESPN]
Live Stream 1 and Instant Chat [MyFox Memphis]

2) More than just flash Even though most fans associate the Tigers brand of basketball with a wide-open playground style, they actually play some defense. In fact, according to the statistical wizards over at KenPom.com, Memphis has the most efficient defensive team in the nation allowing just 81.2 points per 100 opponent possessions.

3) Stepping up under the bright lights Not only was Robert Sallie's 35 points against Cal State-Northridge a career-high (previous high: 13 points), it was also more points than he has scored in the previous month (33 points in 8 games). — Rush the Court

MISSOURI TIGERS

1) Don't call it a comeback Ok, do. If and when Missouri goes into the locker room at halftime trailing by double digits, most Missouri fans won't necessarily be worried—the Tigers are used to falling behind. Any lead of less than 15 points is not safe against Missouri's pressing defense and tendency to score in bunches. Missouri has come back to win from deficits of 14 vs. Kansas, 12 vs. Southern Cal, and 11 at Texas. In two close-but-no-cigar games, the Tigers whittled deficits of 26 down to 7 at Texas A&M and 18 down to 1 at Nebraska. During the A&M game, one commentator said that a lead of 25 against Missouri is like a lead of 15 against any other team. This is not true, as numbers carry the same value in Missouri as they do in other states, but MU certainly has the ability to climb back out of deep holes. On the flipside, the Tigers have squandered their share of big leads throughout the season. Coach Mike Anderson's teams tend to play the same frenetic style in a tie game as they do with a 20-point lead which means lots of trapping, lots of fouling, lots of broken full-court presses, lots of easy buckets for opposing teams and lots of business for cardiologists and shrinks throughout Missouri. In lucky-to-be-winning efforts, the Tigers fumbled away leads of 19 vs. Oklahoma State and 16 vs. Marquette. Murray State cut a 16-point second-half deficit to 4. A 5-point lead against Xavier with 3:00 left resulted in a loss. Regardless of which Tiger team jumps out in front the game should be close by the final buzzer.

2) Assist-to-Turnover Purists Bow to Missouri This ultimately means that no one bows to Missouri, but basketball stat geeks will notice that the Tigers have been among the leaders in a few not-so-obscure statistical categories for most of the season. Among the remaining 16 tournament teams, Missouri ranks #2 in scoring offense, #5 in margin of victory, #5 in 3-point FG defense, #1 in assists/game, #1 in assist-to-turnover ratio, #1 in steals/game, #1 in turnovers/game (in the good way) and #1 in turnover margin. The Tigers are the best passing team in the tournament and a testament to their team play is the fact that no player is averaging over 3.6 assists/game. When Missouri is moving on offense and crisply passing the ball they're hard to stop. If Missouri depends on 1-on-1 play look for Memphis to win big.

3) Leo Lyons and Matt Lawrence did not see this coming Both players were recruited by former Missouri coach Quin Snyder and their introduction to Missouri basketball was probably less enjoyable than they had expected. Their freshman season entailed the firing of Snyder and a 12-16 finish—good for Missouri's lowest win total since 1973. If the end of Snyder's reign at Missouri was the dark ages, Lyons and Lawrence joined the team at right around the time of the plague. Enter Mike Anderson. Over the course of Lyons and Lawrence's sophomore and junior seasons the Tigers compiled a mediocre record of 34-28, enjoying brief flashes of on-the-court success and suffering through more off-the-court embarrassment. Some players transferred, some players quit, some players were arrested, some players were shot, some players were kicked off the team, but Lyons and Lawrence rode out the turbulence. As freshmen they played on one of the worst teams in the history of modern Missouri basketball. As seniors they play on one of the best. — Tyler Wells

First up at 3:20, we've got a surprising Maryland squad going up against Memphis in Kansas City. As you may remember, Maryland beat Cal in the first round to win the opportunity to run into John Calipari's well-oiled hair team. Considering no one thought Maryland would a) make the tournament and b) win their first round matchup, making a bold prediction seems like a silly proposition here. Memphis had a tough time with their first round opponent Cal State-Northridge, but let's be honest — they were probably all half asleep.

At 3:35, Connecticut takes on Texas A&M in Philadelphia. This one could be more painful than one of those Texas A&M pretend soldiers squeezing his nuts at a football game. Jim Calhoun's back on the sidelines for UConn and Mark Turgeon is still on the sidelines for Texas A&M. I feel bad for people who actually spent money on tickets for today's session in Philly.

Enjoy the games. I'm having some internet hiccups so bear with the light posting.

*A man can dream, folks. A man can dream.

*****

Hello friends. (I believe Jim Nantz made it federal law to start all NCAA tournament discussions with those words.) For reasons they are sure to regret, Daulerio and Sussman have opened the gates, allowing people like me to type words that appear on their holy site. I assure you, as I did them, that my credentials for providing this "distraction" in the guise of a "live blog" are best summed up by George Costanza: "Maybe I could be like, an announcer. Like a color man. You know how I always make those interesting comments during the game."'

Anyway, your game: #2 Memphis vs. #15 Cal State Northridge. Already I don't like typing it, so be prepared to see a lot of "CSN" and try not to immediately think of Crosby, Stills, and Nash. Memphis is 31-3, 16-0 in their conference, and last year's runner-up. Here's what I know about the 17-13 CSN Matadors: 1) They play in the Big West. 2) ESPN.com has their "Notable Results" as: UCLA (L by 18), @San Diego St. (L by 16), @New Mexico (L by 11). 3) Their leading scorer, Deon Tresvant, got suspended for allegedly stealing electronics equipment. And their starting point guard, got injured in a car accident. Adds Whitlock, for good measure, "For my money, Northridge is the worst team in the tournament." So, um, this should be a doozy of a game. 19.5 is the spread, and I have half a mind to bet that for the first half. Billy Packer would like to advise you to turn off your TV right after tip-off.

Your announcers: Tim Brando and Mike Gminski.

Your live-blogger: I'm Ben, also known around these parts as Student of The Game. My biggest contribution to Deadspin before today was making this happen. Nice to meet you all.

Enjoy the game, have fun in the comments, and remember, as always: nobody gives a shit about your bracket.

12:20 - I should also mention I'm in New York and CBS is airing, thus I am watching this game online at MMOD. If I make any mistakes, blame the internet stream.

12:28 - 5-2 Cal State! Do you believe in miracles?

12:30 - Let's look at the scenery. Game is in Kansas City, in the world-famous Sprint Center. Looks about 30% full. And CBS informs us that notable CSN alumni include Richard Dreyfuss and Helen Hunt. Not sure what that says about their chances today.

12:33 Memphis is doing the thing where a high seed comes out playing sloppy, not really caring much, and will probably do the thing where they wake up midway through the first half and take over.

12:36 - First TV timeout, 11-6 CSN. And as MrRedDevil points out, they do have a wicked font on their jerseys.

12:38 - I was going to say "Robert Salley ties the game with a 3", but apparently his name is Roburt Sallie. Well played, young Tiger.

12:41 - My friend Etan points out that this is the way crowds show up for these first games. "It's like a concert; iit fills up about a third for the opener, then the rest of the fans show up for the real act." Except in this case the next game is Maryland-Cal, so... insert proper music metaphor here.

12:44 - Memphis forgets to box out after a free throw, giving CSN a free two points and a 17-16 lead with 11:48 to go. They don't think it's a damn show, they think it's a damn fight! In other action... screw it, if you're reading this you know how to check a scoreboard yourself.

12:48 - Did you know? This year's Memphis team set a record for wins in a 4-year span, passing the 133 wins by Duke from 1998-2001. Related: Did you know? Duke didn't have SMU and Rice in their conference.

12:52 - Turnovers, turnovers, and turnovers. 9 so far, and we're only 25% through this game. Points aren't coming easy, but Sallie just buried another 3. 21-17 Memphis

12:56 Sallie is on fire (14 of Memphis's 26 points), but Kenny Daniels just had a sweet fast-break dunk (off a turnover, of course) to keep CSN within four. Third TV timeout, and we still have a game.

1:01 - Sallie needs a better nickname than "Long Tall Sallie." Other than that, he seems to be quite skilled at shooting from long distance. My quick research tells me he was 41.9% from 3 this year. Not bad. 29-22 Memphis

1:07 - Pressing questions: If CSN are the matadors, shouldn't their primary jersey color be red? CBS's MMOD setup is awesome, but is it too much to ask for to have scores of other live games somewhere on the page? Fred Thompson is the best notable Memphis alum they could come with (other than Penny Hardaway)?

1:10 - Memphis continues its grand tradition of missing free throws (as flashes of last year's tournament appear in Calipari's eyes), wasting an opportunity to go up 9. A Tremaine Townsend slam, and it's a 5 point game, 3:12 to go. 32-27, Memphis

1:14 - I haven't been listening too closely to Brando and Gminski; they're not good enough to pay attention to, not bad enough to mock relentlessly. But I think Brando just referred to the Memphis players getting "lathered up" before the game. Hey, CBS here switched off their game and onto mine. Now I can watch on sweet 20-inch, non-HD goodness.

1:21 - A combination of bad execution and good CSN defense has left Memphis without a field goal in some time. CSN misses an opportunity to cut the deficit at the end of the half, but can't be too upset going into the locker room down 3. Possible upset in the making, or this could go the route of 2007, when 15th seed Texas A&M-Corpus Christi led Wisconsin by 8 in the half, only to lose by 13. Either way, Jim Nantz is worried that he won't get to use the championship-moment line "They're walking in Memphis tonight!" that he was ready to use last year before Mario Chalmers ended that dream. (He just texted Brando to tell him if CSN wins to say something about Matadors taming Tigers.) Halftime: Memphis Sallies 34, California State University, Northridge 31

1:26 - BREAKING NEWS: Jim Calhoun will not coach UCONN's game against Chattanooga, due to health issues. I'd make a joke about being intimidated by the mighty Mocs (seriously, they're the Mocs), but the man has had to deal with prostate cancer and, more recently, squamous cell carcinoma. Get well soon.

1:30 - I should point out I'm feeling a little uneasy, as I have Memphis going all the way in my bracket. I made that pick after a lot of analysis and research that can best be described as "guessing." Oh what's that? I broke my own rule? Not at all. Nobody cares about yourbracket. This is about mine.

1:37 - Halftime is boring, so here's a John Calipari fun fact to keep you busy. During his playing career at UNC-Wilmington, John Calipari indulged in 27 of the 64 fetishes in this tournament.

1:45 - Memphis still sloppy, and it's a one point game as the second half gets underway. Here's the CBS graphic you should be prepared to see in about 20 minutes, should the game be close: #15 seeds to defeat #2: 1991-Richmond def. Syracuse; 1993 - Santa Clara def. Arizona; 1997 - Coppin State def. South Carolina; 2001-Hampton def. Iowa State

1:51 - And we're tied at 40. I'm thinking Memphis fans are missing Derrick Rose and Chris-Douglas Roberts right about.... now.

1:53 - And a CSN Mark Hill 3 gives them the lead! It's 44-43! And it's time for some Tim Brando packaged lines! "Jumping up and down all along the 405." I assume this is some highway near California or State or Northridge. Also the Matadors are "climbing the hill" in Kansas City, a city I'm pretty sure is in the middle of the Great Plains.

1:57 - Calipari is a veteran coach, he's taken two teams to the Final Four, yet this team looks completely stressed out. Out of the timeout they seemed panicky, took a bad shot, and at the other end Cal State has another open shot underneath the basket. 46-43, CSN.

2:02 - All of a sudden it's a scoring frenzy. Robert Dozier remembers he's supposed to score and gets his first points, then Townsend buries one from just inside 3-point range, followed by 3's from Sallie, Hill, and... I just can't keep track at this rate. It's 55-55, which produces a lame Brando pun which makes no sense and I cannot remember.

2:04 - Granted, I don't have an official college team I support so I might not be the expert on this subject, but that rivals-as-friends ad puzzles me. UNC/Duke? OK. USC/UCLA? Understood. Ohio St./Michigan? Of course. But are Georgetown and Syracuse huge rivals? Does a classic Hoya/Orange game immediately come to mind when you think about those teams?

2:06 - Everybody on CSN is getting in on the party. A three from Rodrigue Mills and a Vincent Cordell layup and it's 62-56, 15 leading 2, midway through the half. It's as if Northridge came into this tournament with the sole purpose of proving Jason Whitlock wrong.

2:09 - A ferocious Antonio Anderson dunk is quickly overshadowed by a sweet "whirling dervish" move by Hill. More back and forth and it's 64-63 CSN, 7:40 to go. I think they're gonna cover the 19.5.

2:11 - Fact: The later the game has gotten, the more annoying Tim Brando has gotten. Let's hope we don't have 6 overtimes.

2:13 - I haven't mentioned it yet, and this has to be pointed out: Roburt Sallie averaged 4.5 points per game this season. With 7:40 left in regulation he has 29. Know what else? He's long. And tall.

2:16 - Memphis starting to put some offense together. 6-0 run to go up 67-64, 6:02 left.

2:18 - We now turn it over to a guest blogger, the one and only Rick Reilly! "Ben Muschel picked Memphis to win it all in every one of his brackets. Yet there he was on Thursday afternoon, loudly cheering for the underdog Matadors of Cal State Northridge. Madness? Well, that's March."

2:21 - Memphis slowly making their shots, taking the momentum, and starting to move away. 72-66, 2:40 left.

2:23 - It looks like CSN is gonna fall short. Sallie hits another 3, then another (35 points!), and Memphis has a 10 point lead. 78-68, 1 minute left.

2:25 - And it looks like the Matadors will be eaten, though not torn to shreds, by the Tigers. Roburt Sallie joins the long list of iconic Sallies: Field, Mustang, and Jessy Raphael.

2:28 - Memphis making free throws, and gamblers across the country begin to sweat. 13 point game, 41.2 seconds left.

2:31 - And that'll do it. Valiant effort by Cal State Northridge, but Memphis and your precious brackets are safe. Final score: Memphis 81, Cal State Northridge 70.

2:33 - So Memphis moves on to play either Cal or Maryland, and I feel like they're gonna take that one a little more seriously in the first half. That's it for me; enjoy the other 13 live blogs today and 16 more tomorrow. Thanks to A.J. and Suss for all their help. Roburt Sallie, enjoy your 1,000 new Facebook friends.

2) The artist formerly known as When the school reached its first final four back in 1985, it was known as Memphis State. Then they ran into some uh ... issues, eventually changed their name to the University of Memphis (I'm sure there were no other non-basketball reasons for that), settled into that snazzy new, yet somehow already defunct Pyramid thingy and got on with their lives. But that was not the school's first name change. In the 1950s, they were known as Memphis State College and before that, West Tennessee State, and before that West Tennessee State Normal School. You know ... a school for normals.

3) Senior citizens A lot of people probably figured Memphis would not be back here again after losing three NBA draft picks in Derrick Rose, Chris Douglas-Roberts, and Joey Dorsey. Oh, sure they would be back here in the tournament, since they're clearly the class of Conference USA, but not here as in running the table for their fourth consecutive 30-win season—an NCAA record. Seniors Robert Dozier, Antonio Anderson and Chance McGrady have won more games than any class in the history of the sport and all three will graduate on time, which is also probably some kind of college basketball record. — Dashiell

CAL STATE NORTHRIDGE MATADORS

1) But how was the play Mrs. Lincoln? There's never a good time of year to steal $6,600 worth of merchandise from a Best Buy. But there are certainly bad times, such as the middle of the basketball season! Apparently, no one thought to alert three Cal State Northridge players, who allegedly attempted to make off with the merchandise without paying on New Year's Day, and are facing stiff legal penalties that could include prison time. Among the future Rhodes Scholars: a Northridge reserve, the team's leading scorer, and the son of head coach Bobby Braswell. None of the players have suited up since the incident and Braswell refused to post bail for his son while he spent four days in jail. The Matadors seemed to pull closer together through it all and turned around a ship that began the season 1-6, until they were derailed again when starting point guard Josh Jenkins was a passenger in a February car accident that killed the driver. Jenkins suffered critical internal injuries, and the conference leader in assists has not played since. Still, the Matadors pulled together and finished the season on an 11-3 run.

2) A local boy, eh? Northridge was a perennial bottom-feeder until the arrival of Braswell—a CSUN alum who graduated in 1985—already the school's all-time winningest coach after thirteen seasons at the helm. He earned his first coaching stripes at local Cleveland High, where he guided an unheralded prospect named Lucious Harris, who would eventually play twelve seasons in the NBA. Braswell followed his star to an assistant job at Long Beach State, eventually serving five years as an assistant at Oregon before captaining his alma mater. So Braswell knows the area, which you may remember as the center-point of the 1994 earthquake that crippled greater Los Angeles. The university finally completed renovations to the school only two years ago.

3) Who hasn't "shocked" UCLA? The Matadors' last tournament appearance was in 2001, when a scrappy young team shocked the UCLA Bruins early in the season, and went on to win the (now extinct) Big Sky Conference. This year, Northridge fell to UCLA by 18 and went on to win the (ever-worsening) Big West, which never gets more than one bid and hasn't won a Tourney game since 2005. Despite the off-court difficulties listed above, the Matadors ranked among the conference's best in hustle categories like steals (first), rebounding margin (first), and blocks (second), winning both the Big West regular season and tournament championships—though they'd prefer you ignore their conference-worst 15.9 turnovers per game. Guard Rodrigue Mels emerged in the vacancy at guard to score 25.5 points per game in the Big West Tournament and earn MVP honors, while 6'9" forward Tremaine Townsend is the conference's best defender. Unfortunately, none of this will matter against Memphis. — Ryan ZumMallen (Long Beach Post Sports)

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The Tigers cleaned up in the Conference USA end of season awards this week, with John Calipari winning Coach of the Year, Tyreke Evans getting Freshman of the Year, and Antonio Anderson nailing down Defensive Player of the Year. But a more curious choice went to Wesley Witherspoon, who won Sixth Man of the Year despite missing six games due to knee surgery and averaging a whopping four points and 2.2 rebounds in the games he actually played in.

Witherspoon himself seemed unimpressed, reportedly telling Fox News:

"Yeah, it was a huge surprise. To be honest, I don't even deserve it. But I'll take it."

Maybe Witherspoon didn't deserve the accolade, but it turns out that he was the only player nominated. Apparently, no other team in the conference has a single reserve player worthy of sticking into a game for some quality minutes.

But seriously, the played some very tough games.

Memphis Tigers Dominate C-USA Awards [Fox Memphis]
Herd's Pitts earns frosh honor; Calipari worried? [The Charleston Gazette]
Memphis in league of its own as C-USA tourney begins [Houston Chronicle]

“Before the game, y’all were talking about how big they are, but we made the plays,” said the 6-foot-1 [Chris] Wright, who gave up 5 inches to [Tyreke] Evans, “so it just goes to show that size isn’t the most important thing in the game.”

DaJuan Summers led the way with 21 points and 7 rebounds with Austin Freeman contributing 18.

• The Vols are can't handle Christmas. Temple pulled off one of the day's two big upsets on the strength of 35 points from Dionte Christmas. The Owls ran away for an 88-72 victory.

• That came out of nowhere. As for the other upset, a pretty crappy UMass team stunned Kansas 61-60 in Lawrence Kansas City. The Jayhawks could never find their shot, and the Minutemen were able to hold out for the win.

• The Buckeyes survive the Bulldogs. Gordon Hayward scored nearly half of Butler's 51 points, but it wasn't enough to get past Ohio State in Columbus. the Buckeyes won it 54-51