This is a fine piece of handiwork perpetrated by these spell check averse internet demons. Even the 49ers have reportedly issued a statement about this mess, denying both the trade and, just for good measure, the death of Jeff Goldblum.

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Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry will be here in a little bit to vaporize you.

I'm not sure if it's a new toy, but it sure does seem fun to have a life-sized iPhone at one's disposal. They don't give me one because they suspect I would probably blow it on tracking all the treasures in Skies of Arcadia, and they are right to think that.

So instead of flicking the screen, or whatever the hell the kids call it these days, here's how to enhance the NFL Draft experience in the realm of sportsbloggery:

• Start an "NFL Draft Pool," like The Rookies (now in Blu-Ray!) did. You pick 35 players you think will be drafted the quickest, and whoever's entire set of picks are off the table, wins. I am unclear on what they win. A special edition Blu-Ray of The Rookies?

• Do what The Sports Hernia advises: "Cover your entire body with Nachos. Every time someone says "ability", "capability" or "explosiveness", do a sailor dive into a giant pit of salsa." Draft Pick-O-The-Guy-O?

• Watch an off-Broadway production of Mel Kiper Jr. in his college days scouting college "talent." (Not available in Blu-Ray.)

• Speaking of Kiper's hometown (at least I think I was), you could read B'More Sun's breakdown the draft in the most intelligent fashion possible, provided the draft consisted of anyone, real or CGI. If that were the case, I suspect the Raiders would still have taken Sebastian Janikowski.

• Play Skies of Arcadia. The Gamecube version. (Had to get in a video game recommendation in somehow. LIVE WITH IT.)

Not to talk crazy here, but it might be because he actually reports and has info. We enjoyed this segment from an interview with The Starting Five.

I had my own apartment at eighteen and played [Tecmo Bowl] on my Rent-A-Center TV all night long. Damn, that was way back! Randall Cunningham was the truth! I would fill up the stat sheet with nothing but Randall and Bo Jackson. I had both rushing for 2000+ and Randall throwing for way over 4000. He was sick on that game. Being a Philly fan, I made sure he was well represented…trust.

Somehow, we don't imagine Mariotti ever playing Tecmo Bowl.

So: Do you like the Michael Smith? Do you not like the Michael Smith? Let's go.

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