Oh, come on now. Is this really necessary? Dave Dombrowski built the team, he knows what he did wrong. You don't need rub it in like that.

Geez, can't a guy suffer in peace?

[Pic submitted by MG]

* * * * *

Wednesday morning. Just look away....

•Despite MLB.com's merchandise on offer (thanks to reader Nathan for the screencap), the Twins won the right to get swept by the Yankees. If you want more details, I think Dash is still liveblogging the game.

•Shaq and LeBron looked good together in their first game, but call me after Shaq has 80 games on that odometer. And it's not a preseason game. Against the Bobcats.

•At least Miguel Cabrera's drinking led to a humorous police report in addition to what you've already read. In August, Cabrera "taunted an overweight 15-year-old boy" and had to be escorted out.

•A vendor died of a heart attack while servicing the coffeemaker in the Dodger Stadium press box yesterday, which can't bode well for the team. Or at least the media members who want coffee.

•It's Brett Favre news, but don't stop reading. The gunslinger was named the league's most overrated player in an unscientific poll of his peers.

•The Brooklyn Fishing Derby is being held this month, and it's a real thing. So that means the most likely catch, an empty can of StarKist, will not count.

•Courtesy of reader Jeffrey, we have a camerawoman getting a little too caught up in the excitement of the Twins' victory:

Early Saturday morning, police were called to the Cabrera home in the Detroit suburb of Birmingham on a "family trouble" incident. Cabrera's wife was upset because her husband apparently came home late, drunk, and loud and woke up their sleeping daughter. Obviously, that did not go over well. When police arrived, Miguel had scratches on his face and a broken necklace and his wife had a fat lip, but neither would say what happened. The cops took Miguel to the police station, gave him a blood alcohol test—which he failed miserably—and released to him to the custody of the Tigers.

Investigators determined that both husband and wife were "aggressors" so there's a good chance no charges will be filed. However, Tiger fans who might be willing to look the other way on the domestic abuse will probably have a harder time forgiving Cabrera's baseball transgression. The reason he came home so late was because he was out partying with members of the Chicago White Sox.

It's bad enough he was getting hammered in the middle of the most important series of the year and staying out until 6:00 a.m. the night before a must-win, season-on-the-line game, but to get sloshed alongside the team that's standing in your way? Yuking it up with a "hated" rival just hours after they put your playoff hopes in jeopardy? I'm beginning to suspect his commitment to laid off auto workers is not as strong as we've been led to believe.

By they way, Cabrera went 0-11 this weekend. That doesn't help either.

Police: Cabrera was drunk during fight with wife [Detroit Free Press]
Police called to Cabrera's home [Detroit News]

At first glance, it appears to make the Tigers' lineup terrifying, and for a year or so, that would seem to be the case. But the Marlins have an excellent track record in this business; it wouldn't surprise us in the least to see that collection of Florida cheap youngsters do one of their patented annoying wild-card runs to the World Series in a couple of years.

More to the point: Jeez, when did the Tigers become the Yankees? It's yet another day that Alan Trammell spends in his basement, staring at the wall, flicking his lamp on ... and off ... and on ... and off ...

Crashburn Crapshoot [Crashburn Alley]

Notes from a day in baseball ...

• 1. Where Have You Gone Kelly Leak, A Nation Turns It's Lonely Eyes To You. Well, it's Friday, the day we ask the musical question: Can't the Orioles do anything right? For the record, we know that they can; it just wasn't evident against the Marlins. We take you now to the 10th inning, as Baltimore's Todd Williams tries to issue an intentional walk to Miguel Cabrera. Nothing unusual about that; Cabrera had been put on intentionally 14 times this season, second only to Barry Bonds. But in a scene we haven't witnessed since Little League (specific team: Chico's Bail Bonds), Cabrera reached out on one of the looping softball offerings and slapped it up the middle for a single, breaking a 5-5 tie, as Florida ended up winning 8-5. (Video via SportTech)

• 2. Make Way For Dr. K. We knew that Scott Kazmir rookie card was a wise investment. The Devils Rays' rookie, 22, became the youngst June nine-game winner since 1989 (Tom Gordon and John Smoltz), taking a two-hitter into the eighth in Tampa Bay's 4-1 win over the Diamondbacks.

• 3. We Hear He Also Wears The Mr. Met Costume Between Innings. If you are not year ready for "National League champion New York Mets," then how about "NL MVP David Wright."? Pedro Martinez won for the second time since April 28, and Wright (.338) had two homers and four RBI to lead New York past Cincinnati 6-2.

• 4. Somewhere, Bobby Knight Just Threw Up A Little. To illustrate the contrasting managerial styles of Ozzie Guillen and Grady Little, we give you this: Derek Lowe had just finished pitching the eighth inning for the Dodgers, and Little told him he was coming out. Lowe didn't want to. So Little shrugged and left him in, and Lowe completed a 4-2 win over the Mariners, his fifth straight winning decision.

• 5. This Is Baseball On A Whole Different Level. Some day they'll write poems about the '06 Royals and Pirates. Kansas City's 15-7 win over Pittsburgh on Friday featured 13 walks, two wild pitches, four errors, three hit batsmen and an 8-4-5 double play (don't ask).

• "Cabrera is embroiled in an incident ..."
• "Accused of lambasting a patron after an argument ..."
• "Cabrera is accused of becoming physical when Carlos Agreda disembarked his car ..."
• "'I understand that of all the people there I was probably the most recognizable, and maybe that's why I'm being included without having any responsibility whatsoever in said incident.'" (Actual quote from Cabrera.)
• "Agreda said Cabrera ultimately turned his verbal ire toward him."

We've read this story four times, and we still have no idea what happened. How can someone accuse you of lambasting them?

Cabrera Cited In Scuffle [Ft. Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel]