Breen seems to have something of a following out there, and the only possible explanation is that he appeals to the kind of glowering basketball fan who secretly hates basketball. As usual, Free Darko has the definitive take:

Mike Breen sounds as though he'd prefer to file a book report about lacing sneakers and holding the ball high rather than to actually think about the fluid, emotional, athletic, personality-driven sport of basketball. ... [C]onservative, judgmental, preachy, sufficient, and bland. That is Mike Breen, an unimaginative man who peers out at the basketball world through a colorless lens that precludes the sort of expansive, emotional, romantic vision that best and properly captures the NBA.

Nuggets-Lakers, Game 4 — Dahntay Jones shakes loose and finds himself on an easy breakaway and, instead of a layup or a simple dunk, opts for a big, bright, dunk-contest, fuck-you of a windmill. You can watch it here. It was a wonderful, prideful moment in a very big game. It would've been a wonderful, prideful moment had he clanged the ball off the back of the rim and into the loge seats. It was the sort of thing that briefly made the Nuggets the best, most unconstipated thing about the playoffs. Breen's response: "It still counts as two."

This is already shaping up to be a mostly colorless finals, unless you're the sort of person captivated by storylines involving the Van Gundy brothers and candy. And now here comes Mike Breen, with his "Bang!"s and his "Blocked!"s, who will primly usher the whole damn show into ratings oblivion. I fear for these finals. People seem to be on the verge of turning them into a morality play about sportsmanship and teamwork, and Breen (who is a sure bet to share his thoughts about LeBron's Psych Heard 'Round The World) will be right at home here.

The NBA: where moralizing happens.

Toothpicks Do Not Add up to Salvation [Free Darko]

Marv Albert had to have his troubles, and then contract issues with the MSG network, so Breen came in. Then Al Michaels — who really wasn't much of an NBA guy anyway — left for NBC, and Breen stepped in. Now he, Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson make up the low-key, but mostly effective team. ESPN/ABC has done a rather solid job all around with the NBA team, actually, now that Wilbon's in the "studio" instead of Stephen A. Even Stuart Scott tones himself down when they're on ABC in primetime.

But yeah, look, it's Mike Breen.

Do you like the Mike Breen? Do you not like the Mike Breen? Off we go.

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