Still, it was strange to hear Jim Nantz on ESPN; imagine Stephen A. Smith on CBS, and you get a feel for the disconnect. (See, now there's an announcing team we'd enjoy!) But yes: When you watched Mike Tirico stare into the camera and wax rhapsodic about the glories of Augusta, it was plainly obvious why Berman wasn't asked to hang around for the first couple of days.

Anyway, there's more coverage this afternoon, though the tournament started, like, three hours ago. A bunch of people we don't know are teeing off. We must wait six more hours for the dulcet tones of Mike Tirico; if only ESPN had some sort of way to alert me how long it was until their coverage starts.

(Photo via Jason Sobel's blog.)

Whatever your thoughts on Tirico, it sure does seem like he's gone from 0 to 60 over the last decade. The guy is now the lead NBA announcer AND the "Monday Night Football" announcer, in addition to his radio show. In the future, every event will be broadcast by Joe Buck, Al Michaels or Mike Tirico.

But you tell us: Do you like the Mike Tirico? Do you not like the Mike Tirico?

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That's right: The charming Mike Tirico is taking over two hours of Patrick's show, with the last hour filled in by SOME GUY WHOSE NAME WE CAN'T REMEMBER. We've never heard Tirico much on the radio, but we expect the same bland, competent work he always gives us. (Along with, you know, love talk.) We still feel bad for Van Pelt; we suspect he would have been good, as long as nobody talked about Maryland.

Mike Him Up [ESPN]
Here Are Those Tirico Stories We Hinted At Last Week [Deadspin]

Yes, the addition of Ron Jaworski to the booth has already dramatically altered the whole dynamic in there. (We're not the only skeptic turning around on this.) Jaworski looses up Tony Kornheiser — he, lo, laughs at his jokes! What a concept! — and lets Mike Tirico work as a sort of moderator (which is what he does best), but what he brings most to the contest is ... well, he actually knows what he's talking about. He breaks down plays in a smart, accessible way, without sounding like a snot about it. He's likable and informative. See? It's really not that hard.

The jury is still out — it was just one preseason game, after all — but yeah: We might have to get used to not despising the entire "Monday Night Football" crew, people.

Official "MNF" Review: Game One [Awful Announcing]

Tony loves Ron, Ron loves Tony, everybody loves Mike and Tony hates himself. Should be quite the show.

"More than anything else, I hope it's fun, and Jaws' personality seems to lend itself to fun. As neurotic as I am, as pessimistic as I am, as cynical and subversive as I am, I have fun doing those [games]. Jaws and I can have fun together.

"There is no chance [Jaworski will make Kornheiser more optimistic]. I'm going to be like Darth Vader and welcome him to the dark side. I'm going to be, 'Come and see the music of the night. I am the Phantom of the Opera.'"

We're gonna go ahead and ask somebody out there to do a Kornheiser Phantom of the Opera photoshop now.

We think this year's crew can't help but improve with Theismann's absence, particularly with the likable and smart Jaworski in there, but we still love that supreme leader John Skipper watched the whole practice session. He seems optimistic, as long as Kornheiser puts the correct cover sheet on his expense reports.

New Monday Night Football Crew Will Have Some Fun [Newsday]

• 2. "While we value audience participation at the Jungle Cruise, the use of any firearms-real and fake-is reserved exclusively for Disney cast members," said Disney spokesperson Lindsay Green.

• 17. Tim Hardaway summarizes "Peter Pan's Magic Flight" as "thrilling, insouciant fun. Just fabulous, really. Like something out of my beloved favorites, the Busby Berkeley glamoramas of the 1930s. Just, like, wow."

• 21. While riding "Snow White's Adventure," Shelley Smith bursts into tears and deletes Matt Leinart's number from her phone.

• 27. Jim Rome denied entrance to Space Mountain after failing minimum height requirement.

• 31. Mike Tirico's "Touch Tunnel of Tomorrow, sponsored by Cingular" sees its first civil complaint at 10:13 a.m.

But we're not done. Over at Fire Mark May, we've got Trev Albert's Guide Through Epcot, including:

• 7. Crossing the futuristic world of whatsits to head over to the constantly under-construction aquarium, I came across Harold Reynolds inappropriately touching most of the cast from "Finding Nemo."

• 12. Yao Ming! Yao Ming Yao Ming Yao Ming.......He towers over all, giving non-obese children free piggyback rides according to need. I attempt to join in on the fun after a few Tsingtaos, but I am quickly escorted away. Damn Red Chinese....

ESPN: The Weekend, Schedule And Map [Every Day Should Be Saturday]
ESPN: The Weeknd Pt. 2: Trev's guide Through Epcot [Fire Mark May]
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be The Least Popular During ESPN: The Weekend? [Deadspin]
ESPN: The Weekend

Here's your little blast for the past today: As difficult as it is to believe that Hootie and the Blowfish were ever considered cool — we're not sure that actually ever happened — it's, these days, just as difficult to comprehend ESPN being, you know, down with the kids. These two unique cultural curiosities intersected in this famous music video, which we suspect you haven't seen in a long, long time.

Many of us gathered our first glimpse of the crew working together during "SportsCenter" this morning, in which we learned that everyone on set has bizarre hair and that Kornheiser is not opposed to the occasional dramatic pause to put on his glasses.

Kornheiser's schtick of late has been to note that he doesn't know anything about football, that'll he'll be terrible, that he never stays awake for games, so on, what forth. But we remain optimistic that he'll be fun, at least for a while; in a pinch, he can always just fall back on a fun touchdown call.

Monday Night Hair [Choke Artist]
CBS Does Something Smart, World Stops [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Tony Kornheiser Is Into Leather [Deadspin]

So, allow us to change that. The book — which was released in trade paperback by relatively small publishing company Taylor Trade Publishing — is in front of us, and we're summarize some fun passages for you. It's worth noting, by the way, that Tirico, ultimately, comes across positively in the book, as a family man who had a problem and did what he could to help himself get "well." And it still doesn't take down the classic "Gary Miller shaving his ass at a party" story, which is probably unbeatable.

But that doesn't make it any less salacious. After the jump, the book's top Tirico passages.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

The first Tirico story involves him hitting on a woman and stalking her after a house party in fall 1992. The woman was a production assistant and "considered an up-and-coming talent," and Tirico went up to her at the party and said "you're the most beautiful woman in here." She walked away, but he kept following her around the party until she finally snapped, "Why don't you fuck off? Get away from me." As she and friends hopped in their car and pulled out of the party, Tirico stepped in front of the car and made the woman stop. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I think I'm in love with you," Tirico said. She tried to roll up her window and take off, but Tirico stuck his hand in and tried to wedge it between her thighs. She got away, and the next morning, when they saw each other in the ESPN parking lot, he walked up to her, and she expected him to apologize. Instead, he said, "all I did all day was think about you."

In another story, one female producer — who had been to dinner with Tirico and his fiancee — was startled to receive an email from him saying that he wanted to sleep with her. Later, when the staff went to a bar after a late night covering the NCAA tournament, Tirico approached her and said, "I wish I was single. If I were, I'd throw you on the table right here and fuck your brains out." After she tried to excuse him as drunk, he persisted: "I know you want to screw me. So let's leave." Later, he followed her on the highway and tried to get her to pull over, unsuccessfully.

Tirico was ultimately suspended for three months and is interviewed in the book, where he, like Reynolds, calls the incidents "misunderstandings." He is now doing "Monday Night Football" and is still married.

We mean that not as a plea, or even a desire. We also mean it not as an excuse for his actions; anyone who has ever worked in a sports department anywhere can tell you how easily the environment can turn toxic for female reporters and editors in the vicinity. (We're reminded of the great quote from Pam of "The Office:" "Usually the day we talk about sexual harassment is the day everyone harasses me as a joke.") Reynolds clearly seems to be was more of a problem than he was a solution. We simply ask it as a matter of practice. Anyone who has read Mike Freeman's seminal book "ESPN: The Uncensored History" knows that several staffers, most notably Mike Tirico, have committed far more egregious offenses and slipped away with suspensions rather than firings.

Reynolds has to know this. He even implies as much in his statement to the New York Post, saying it was a "misunderstanding" and his goal was "to sit down and get back." That doesn't sound like someone tucking his tail between his legs and slinking off quietly. That sounds like he wants his job back.

A source close to the situation postulates: "I can guarantee you that Harold knows exactly what ESPN let Tirico and others get away with and figures that if he plays nice, agrees to go along with 'Baseball Tonight"s creative direction, a nice 'internal investigation' will determine it was a 'misunderstanding' and Harold will be back in the ESPN fold."

That is to say: The real question might not be whether or not ESPN can continue to stay quiet about this — they can — but whether or not Reynolds will continue to be.

Reynolds Confirms Firing For Sexual Harassment [Deadspin]
ESPN: The Uncensored History [Amazon]

(UPDATE: We've heard from several people who say this notion is nuts; Reynolds won't be back. So you know.)