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  • mlb

    All You Can Eat, With A Side Order Of Cardiac Disease

    One $34 ticket to a Twins game gets you a bleacher seat and free food — everything but beer and ice cream sundaes —so fans are loading up for their sleep-induced hibernation until Brett Favre arrives. [AP]
    07/08/09
    6,248
    34

    By Ben Cohen

    Comment by FozzieBear: Cheese Cup: $1. So do they make you pay for cheese to go with the Nachos? Or have they gotten so... 3 Responses | Other threads

  • umpires

    Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night

    Umpire Todd Tichenor made history (maybe? probably not) when he ejected four people in one inning of the Red Sox-Twins game last night. Hey, when you're a temporarily fill-in just called up from the minors, you've got to take your shots when you can get them. More »
    05/29/09
    10,060
    60

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Hit Bull Win Steak: Ther havent been that many men tossed in Minnesota since Prince left. 4 Responses | Other threads

  • mlb

    The Minnesota Twins Had A Rough Weekend

    Ron Gardenhire's crew arrived in the Bronx just in time for the movers who finally brought over the magical Yankees Magic Machine from the other stadium. Oooooh ... ghosts! More »
    05/18/09
    6,465
    56

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by shea_guevara: at least the Twins didn't have Miller, Morgan, and Phillips calling their game on Sunday. that would've just been piling... 7 Responses | Other threads

  • mlb

    Yeah, Bert Blyleven Ate Those Worms

    Gee, I wonder why this guy isn't in the Hall Of Fame yet? (It was all for charity, folks.) And where is angry press release from PETA? [Sportress of Blogitude]
    05/11/09
    2,755
    36

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by supermike5alive: insects ain't animals. i'm sure PETA supports sustainable insect farming-for-food to cut down on mammels-for-food and help with the problem of... 5 Responses | Other threads

  • mlb

    Real Men Swing Pink Bats

    MLB is breaking out pink bats again in honor of Mother's Day and to support breast cancer awareness. To promote early screening, doctors will be giving a lifetime of free mammograms to Arod and Manny. More »
    05/10/09
    3,960
    17

    By Sarah Schorno

    Comment by RoxanneEndymion: How did A-Rod get that out of Madonnas top drawer? 3 Responses | Other threads

  • mlb

    Bert Blyleven In "How To Eat Fried Worms"

    MEDIA ALERT: Bert Blyleven will eat a live nightcrawler in front of Metrodome fans before the Twins-Mariners game on Saturday. Plan your weekend accordingly. [Two Big Boobs]
    05/05/09
    3,067
    35

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by UkraineNotWeak: Is that photo from the album cover of Blyleven's Christian theme baseball novelty album? 4 Responses | Other threads

  • mlb

    Boof Bonser Bounced

    Exploratory surgery on the Twins reliever revealed a torn rotator cuff, which means six to eight months of not being able to shout "BOOF!" at inappropriate moments. [MLB.com]
    02/26/09
    1,692
    22

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: It took nearly 8 months, but we finally got to him... 3 Responses | Other threads

  • chicago white sox

    Black To The Future

    This is the year of the coin flip. Just as Two-Face decided if you'd live or die by the flip of his lucky dollar in The Dark Knight, so did Major League Baseball in deciding where the AL Central play-in game would be held. U.S. Celluar, where the Twins were 2-7 this season? Or the Metrodome, where the White Sox were 1-8? As fate would have it, Minnesota lost; both the flip and the game, 1-0. A sellout crowd of 40,354 all dressed as Johnny Cash ushered the Black Sox into the ALDS, where they will venture into the friendly confines of Tropicana Field for the opener against the Rays on Thursday at 2:30 ET [TBS]. More »
    10/01/08
    4,997
    67

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by ghostsoftheSCupcountry: The Twins got gypped. They won the season series with the Sox and still lost home-field to a quarter. But,... 5 Responses | Other threads

  • live blogs

    AL Central Tie-Breaker: Twins vs. White Sox

    The funny thing about tonight's game is that if either one of these teams had mustered up the intestinal fortitude to win just one more game against the Indians or freakin' Royals, we wouldn't be here tonight. (Sure, your middle infielders are real tough against the Tigers, but what about some real competition?) Still here we are, all of us lonely, longing for shelter from a winter without baseball. Close your eyes and think of playoff bonus checks after the jump. More »
    09/30/08
    12,374
    236

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Agamemnon Busmalis: Watching on MLBTV. The upside: No Frank TV crap. Can easily listen to song suggestions, although I'm fresh out of Whitesnake. The... 12 Responses | Other threads

  • minnesota twins

    Twins Fans Somewhat More Rabid Than Previously Thought

    Earlier today I wondered aloud if there were any Twins fans out there in the Deadspinosphere, because let's face it, they've been kind of quiet lately. I was beginning to wonder if everyone in the Land 'o Lakes was busy with their stamp collections. But yeah, turns out Twins Nation is well represented here; as will it be in Chicago tonight, apparently. Here comes the 612. The gauntlet has been thrown. You betcha. More »
    09/30/08
    4,380
    70

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by Matt Sussman: So, 11 Twins fans. Yeah, that seems right. 6 Responses | Other threads

  • chicago white sox

    White Sox. Twins. Tonight. For The Playoffs. Be There.

    Introducing the only player in the majors whom we're sure isn't on steroids. Powered by Alexei Ramirez's sixth-inning grand slam and the encouraging signage of a large hunk of 1970s shag carpeting, the White Sox extended the American League regular season one more day with a 8-2 win over the Tigers. (Remember the Tigers, and how back in March we all thought they were going to win 120 games? Good times). It all sets up a play-in showdown with the Twins tonight to determine baseball's final playoff berth, opposite baseball's traditional juggernaut, Tampa Bay. Tickets for tonight's affair at The Cell sold out in about 10 minutes, and are now going for a very reasonable $100 each to sit in the outfield. Oh, and also it's a blackout! So wear your Oakland Raiders clothing. More »
    09/30/08
    3,557
    48

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by blogsarefun: As soon as I saw Hawk waving the black t-shirt and imploring the fans to 'wear all black' for tonight's... 8 Responses | Other threads

  • MLB

    Ozzie Guillen Lives to Curse Another Day

    The White Sox picked a pretty good time to end their five game losing streak as they beat the Indians with a solid effort from starter Mark Buehrle. The win leaves the White Sox a half game behind the Twins who won themselves a ballgame in K.C. This gives the Sox a game tomorrow with the Detroit Tigers to get things all even. In my opinion, it provides Ozzie another chance to say some crazy shit. More »
    09/28/08
    3,118
    5

    By Enrico Campitelli Jr.

    Comment by Raskolnikov: If the White Sox had eaten their lima beans, they wouldn't be in this mess. 3 Responses | Other threads

  • AL Roundup

    AL Roundup: Let's Play "Pounce on the Punto"

    • Twins 7, White Sox, 6. : Coming into this series, the Minnesota Twins were 2.5 games back of the Chicago White Sox, but now sit atop the AL Central with a half game lead after storming back from a 6-1 deficit to defeat the spiraling White Sox 7-6 in a dramatic 10th inning. The Twins sturdy closer Joe Nathan summed it up this way: "This was probably the best game that I've been a part of in my career." Alexi Casilla singled home Nick Punto in the 10th inning to give the Twins the ridiculous sweep. Meanwhile, Chicago White Sox general manager Ken Williams needs therapy: "Williams wondered how many days the Sox had spent in first place since 2002. He said he couldn't believe they had been there so often and won only the one title, in 2005. He almost looked like he wanted to cry." More »
    09/26/08
    2,145
    24

    By DAULERIO

    Comment by Texy: Who doesn't love a good Pounce On The Punto? 3 Responses | Other threads

  • detroit tigers

    Detroit Tigers' Season Cruelly Refuses To End

    Despite what the calendar says, the Detroit Tigers called off their season weeks ago. They've won 5 games this month. They've lost 12 of their last 13, given six in a row to the Indians and Royals, their closer has already retired, Gary Sheffield is sharpening knives in his basement, and despite legitimately dreaming of a return to the World Series in April, they have slowly sunk down to last place. All anyone on this team wants to do now is go home, crawl under the covers, and not come out until January. Except they can't—because they might have to go overtime to decide the AL Central. More »
    09/25/08
    4,847
    22

    By Dashiell Bennett

    Comment by Cognitive Friction: Leyland has Billy Chapel scheduled to pitch on Sunday...should be a barn burner! 2 Responses | Other threads

  • minnesota twins

    Twins Make Final, Headlong Dash Toward AL Central Title

    With the Twins' most crucial three-game series of the season looming on Monday night, the Minneapolis Pioneer Press ran a column with the following headline: It's Not Likely That The Twins Can Sweep Their Final Two Series. That's the spirit, Twin Cities! But despite themselves, Minnesota fans find themselves one step closer to the AL Central title after a 9-3 win over Chicago on Tuesday pulled them to with 1 1/2 games of the White Sox in the American League's most compelling race. Two games remain between the Sox and Twins at the Metrodome, and then each team has three more to close out the regular season. It was all too much for this footwear-challenged fan to withstand on Tuesday. Oh my, you'll catch yer death of cold, dontcha know. More »
    09/24/08
    4,012
    40

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by Babcocksure: I guess somebody has to get spanked by the Angels 4 Responses | Other threads

  • boston red sox

    Red Sox Clinch Playoffs, Celebrate Accordingly

    Question for the day: Is the pictured celebration by the Red Sox on Tuesday really warranted, considering that all they clinched was a wild-card playoff berth? Sure, it's the playoffs, and that's cause for happiness, I suppose. But you didn't even win your division (although technically they still could). To me this is celebration stuff has become boring and troublesome, like the obligatory birthday gathering in the office for Gina at the front desk. No one really wants to do it, but it's expected. More »
    09/24/08
    5,202
    63

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by UkraineNotWeak: More importantly, did they get Heidi Watney all wet during the celebration? (Read that anyway you want) 4 Responses | Other threads

  • tampa bay rays

    Longoria Studly, But Rays' Division Push Still Needs More Cowbell

    It's getting more and more annoying to attend a game at Tropicana Field. The guy sitting to your right is wearing a mohawk. And the guy to your left is banging a cowbell. What happened to simply wearing a cap and keeping a scorecard? Evan Longoria walloped three homers on Thursday but it wasn't enough for the Rays in an 11-8 loss to the Twins. Playoff implications abound. More »
    09/19/08
    2,794
    45

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by Arriaga_II: George Clinton is not amused. 1 Responses | Other threads

  • purple prose

    The Beery Nine Over The Siamese From The West

    Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of the vaunted sportswriters of yesteryear. This week: The Brewers' win over the Twins on Saturday. More »
    06/18/08
    2,404
    59

    By robert weintraub

    Comment by 1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes: @Secret Identity: +10 @BigJimSlade: Yeah, but he called Paul Pierce Kobe's "opposite number". I don't know if the metric system has... more » | Other threads

  • mlb closer

    The (Bleep) Pot Is Boiling Over In Kansas City. (Bleep)

    Speaking just for myself, I think it's refreshing that we have a profanity-laced, post-game tirade by someone named Guillen whose first name is not Ozzie. Meet José Guillen, the Royals outfielder who lit into teammates on Wednesday following their 9-8, 10-inning loss to the Twins, which ran Kansas City's losing streak to 10 games. Hey, in his defense, someone must have told him it was a roast. More »
    05/29/08
    7,410
    56

    By Rick Chandler

    Comment by NYSportscene: Jose Guillen has been a clubhouse cancer since the day he figured out how to sign checks. Why any team... more » | Other threads

  • purple prose

    Learn The Lesson Of Henri Cochet

    Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of the vaunted sportswriters of yesteryear. This week: The Twins' comeback win over the Tigers. More »
    05/07/08
    3,403
    88

    By robert weintraub

    Comment by Viva_Delmon: @new_commentator: Seriously. I actually hadn't read deadspin in like a month, and I come back and this is... more » | Other threads

  • mlb closer

    Guys And Dolls: Floyd, White Sox Back On Top

    The inflatable sex doll community was shocked on Tuesday night when Chicago's Gavin Floyd once again lost a no-hitter in the late going; giving up a double to the Twins' Joe Mauer with one out in the ninth. (Inset: "Nooooo!"). Bobby Jenks came on to get the final two outs in the White Sox's 7-1 victory, which ended their six-game losing streak. More »
    05/07/08
    4,314
    44

    By rickchand

    Comment by PaulByrdsDentist: @the-Bored: They're still two below .500, she's still conservatively dressed. more » | Other threads

  • j'accuse

    Bill James's Steroid Accusations Have Higher Range Factor Than Canseco's

    By now even most casual baseball fans know the story of Bill James. Baseball thought of stats one way, he thought of them another, using complex equations using the quadratic formula and integrals and grep. Easy enough. But perhaps Mr. James has another e=mc² up his sleeve when it comes to the way we think of steroid accusers. Big muscles and home runs? No, how about baldness and acne? More »
    04/05/08
    6,560
    17

    By sussman

    Comment by IchiroSuzukiSamurai: James was Pete Rose's last defender and takes the same position on climate change (i.e., it must be proven beyond... more » | Other threads

  • 2008 division previews

    Your AL Central "Preview"

    All right, well, the season has supposedly started, though rain on Opening Day has to be some sort of cruel trick from God. So let's wrap up the last division. More »
    03/31/08
    3,511
    18

    By Leitch

    Comment by ArmandTamzarian: And while we're on the subject of the AL Central, does anyone else think that Curtis Granderson needs a nickname?... more » | Other threads

  • baseball season preview

    Baseball Season Preview: Minnesota Twins

    For the third consecutive season, we are proud to introduce the Deadspin Baseball Season Previews. Yes, baseball is awfully close now; it's spring training, after all. More »
    03/10/08
    5,987
    37

    By Leitch

    Comment by Impalamino mkIV: Let's go Twins. Thanks for the report. more » | Other threads

  • johan santana

    Santana Headed To Flushing, Finally

    It's official (kind of): The Twins have traded Johan Santana to the Mets. More »
    01/29/08
    9,379
    186

    By Leitch

    Comment by Glenn Beck's Taint: [www.soxaholix.com] more » | Other threads

  • awesome thought processes

    A Trade That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!

    The baseball winter meetings start next week, and that means countless unsubstantiated guesswork and fantasy trade scenarios. That's the fun of it, really; it will distract you from the horror that comes when your team gives $12 million for four years to Kyle Lohse. More »
    11/28/07
    9,995
    51

    By Leitch

    Comment by Canadian Impostor: The Red Sox should throw in Josh Beckett and Kevin Youkilis to make that trade fair. more » | Other threads

  • theater

    Kirby Puckett, Off-Off-Broadway

    When Kirby Puckett died last year, he left behind a most complicated legacy. More »
    10/10/07
    7,007
    43

    By Leitch

    Comment by A Robot For The People: DARRYL: Darryl Strawberry's One-Man Show [www.ucbtheatre.com] It was a hit! more » | Other threads

  • minnesota twins

    That'll be all for Terry Ryan in Minnesota. [Randball]

    09/13/07
    391
    8
  • daily closer

    Johan Santana Is Mr. August

    This will be your one and only Bert Blyleven update for this season, so pay attention. Blyleven, to my knowledge the only Minnesota Twins starting pitcher to have been born in Zeist, Netherlands, struck out 15 Oakland Athletics on Aug. 1, 1986; a Twins record. Or it was, until Johan Santana struck out 17 over eight innings in a 1-0 win over the Rangers on Sunday. More »
    08/20/07
    3,355
    50

    By rickchand

    Comment by Cecil Cooper: Just throwing this out there... is Smoltz a HOFer? I'm a pushover on the matter. Don't get me started on... more » | Other threads

  • bridge collapse

    Twins Play On After Bridge Collapse

    As we wish the best to anyone affected by the bizarre bridge collapse in Minnesota yesterday, we note that the bridge that collapsed — which, somewhat pathetically, was named "the Interstate 35W Bridge" — was right by the Metrodome and was likely carrying people on their way to the Twins-Royals game. More »
    08/02/07
    7,009
    119

    By Leitch

    Comment by greenfield-comma-tim: I live south of the river too, but I am in California. Hearing about the news was just terrifying considering... more » | Other threads

  • daily closer

    It's A Football Score! Get It?

    Guys, We Were Closer When We Gave Up 20 Runs. Go ahead. Make the joke. "It's a football score!" Haw haw haw! Because, see, 20-14 is the kind of final score you might see in an NFL game. But you never hear the joke "Wow, maybe they were playing lacrosse!" Or, "Golly, looks like he should have hit on 14, because the house dealt itself 20!" But actually, this was a baseball score. The Minnesota Twins scored 20 runs on the White Sox in the first game, and followed that act up in the second game of the doubleheader with a 12-0 victory. Without looking, I bet that several Twins had multiple RBI and home runs. Combining both scores, the Twins outscored the Sox 32-14. Wait, 32? That's a weird football score. More »
    07/07/07
    2,093
    14

    By sussman

    Comment by sooze: ...the Canadian Crusher's 3 bombs... wouldn't want to make him sound any more awesome than he already is. more » | Other threads

  • great the other japanese red sox pitcher won

    Bad Day For Neshek

    Despite our our (and many others') attempts to get out the vote, Twins reliever Pat Neshek finished third in the final All-Star voting. We wonder if perhaps he might have won if he'd had an extra few days in there, Rory Fitzpatrick style, but, alas. More »
    07/06/07
    2,308
    37

    By Leitch

    Comment by Kid Canada: @MoBot: The story's ludicrous. more » | Other threads

  • blatant pandering, on both sides

    Vote Neshek, Everybody!

    Twins reliever Pat Neshek is having a rather outstanding year, with an ERA at 1.37 and pitching in that submarine way we always find charming. He's actually one of the five finalists for the last American League All-Star spot, voted on by fans on MLB.com. And he's unleashing his secret weapon to bring out the vote: His entertaining blog. More »
    07/03/07
    5,513
    79

    By Leitch

    Comment by Trackback: Update: Joey Chesnut wins Nathan's Hot Dog Championship! In what was arguably the greatest moment in competitive-eating history, Chesnut out-dueled... more » | Other threads

  • look! butt!

    What Happens When You Stay Inside Too Long

    We don't mean to imply that these men should perhaps reevaluate their life matters a bit, get their affairs in order ... but they freeze framed their televisions so they could see the ass of a Major League Baseball player ... and filmed it!
    06/27/07
    2,465
    68

    By Leitch

    Comment by Trackback: Filed under: Minnesota, Twins, AL Central, MLB Gossip, MLB VideoWarning: There's a bit of male nudity below -- probably harmless... more » | Other threads

  • goodbye batgirl

    The End Of An Online Sports Legend

    Back before we started this site, when we were just thinking about it, we scoured the Internets to see which sports sites, we thought, were doing it right, sites we'd want to pattern ourselves after. One of the first ones we loved was Batgirl, author Anne Ursu's playful, cute and hilarious ode to all matters Minnesota Twins. We actually started seeing real life games as played by Legos. It was a little dose of joy, every day. More »
    05/24/07
    2,286
    37

    By Leitch

    Comment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @metschick: Seriously, I hope Dash is a dog, or other labour-intensive housepet. 'Cause people who name their kid "Dash" are... more » | Other threads

  • baseball

    The Royals Can't Even Accept Charity Anymore

    Is Torii Hunter about to be banned by Major League Baseball for the next three years? Well, probably not, but he certainly could be. More »
    04/24/07
    1,570
    33

    By Leitch

    Comment by IP: Also-- I thought the Cheater's Guide to Baseball was my little secret!! You and about eleventy billion USSM readers. more » | Other threads

  • baseball

    Look Where The Twins Are Gonna Be Playing

    Randball and the folks at The Minneapolis Star-Tribune has posted sketches of the new Minnesota Twins stadium that supposed to open in 2010. As you may have read, a retractable roof would add an extra $100 million to the $522 million stadium cost, so they're not doing one. Which, if you look at this sketch ... seems like it will make matters a bit, uh, cold. More »
    04/12/07
    4,204
    72

    By Leitch

    Comment by TheGoldfishCowboy: any word on Hefty's response to the naming rights auction? more » | Other threads

  • baseball

    Your AL Central "Preview"

    Everyone says it's the toughest division in baseball, but we think it's just the mostly hotly contested: You could pretty much interchange any of those top four teams and not sounds like a fool. But those Royals ... More »
    03/29/07
    3,469
    123

    By Leitch

    Comment by Doctor Lingerie: 1. Jaime Navarro 2. Juan Gonzalez 3. Juan Gonzalez 4. Tony Batista 5. Juan Gonzalez more » | Other threads

  • baseball

    Baseball Season Preview: Minnesota Twins

    You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team. More »
    03/13/07
    5,337
    38

    By Leitch

    Comment by Victorious Secret: YAAAAAAAY TWINS!!! #### the White Sox. more » | Other threads

  • baseball

    Luis Castillo Is Protective Of His Anus

    Last week, Twins second baseman Luis Castillo was scheduled to receive his yearly physical from team doctors. But he kept wanting to delay it, much to the confusion of team officials. Twins manager Ron Gardenhire helpfully explained. More »
    02/27/07
    3,744
    74

    By Leitch

    Comment by drjayphd: @TheStarterWife: I personally kneel before our Dave Attellian overlords. Especially Skanks For the Memories. more » | Other threads

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New York, 1:35 PM
Fri Jul 10
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