Minnesota Vikings
”Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face. More »
bryant mckinnie
Bryant McKinnie, Back In The News, Thankfully
We will always hold a special place in our hearts for the four most prominent participants in the Vikings' sex boat scandal from a few years ago: Daunte Culpepper, Fred Smoot, Moe Williams and, today's featured star, Bryant McKinnie. Those guys have us so much enjoyment that we remain honored to have them enshrined in our Hall Of Fame. More »
monday night football
Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season? More »
monday night football
It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine! More »
weed!
Vikings' Dwight Smith In Trouble Again
The Minnesota Vikings have a significant game against the Chicago Bears this Monday night, so it should come as no surprise that one of their players was arrested. That's just what they do. And I, for one, appreciate the consistency. More »
smootalicious
Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness
Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar! More »Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket
You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week. More »
your grandma sucks
Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings
When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope: They just flat refused to pay him. More »The Detmer-Favre Rivalry Continues
The Vikings just signed Koy Detmer, and he very well might play this weekend against the Packers. I Dislike Your Favorite Team brings back this video of the last time Detmer and Brett Favre faced off. More »
oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah
Oh, No, You Didn't Forget About Jeff, Did You?
If it's almost November, that can only mean one thing: Time for Jeff George's annual desperate plea to come back to the NFL! More »
nfl just-past-6 o'clock updates
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exactly how you cure fatigue. Don't squirt the water in the mouth. Just aim for the nape. More »
nfl division previews
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC
Locate Your Local Viking
From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go.
nfl season preview
NFL Season Preview: Minnesota Vikings
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start today. So there you have it.
Last year, we asked some of our favorite writers to opine why Their Favorite Team Was Better Than Yours. Ultimately, we found this constrictive, and it also might have killed James Frey. So this time, we've just asked them to just run free, talk about their team, their experience as a fan, their hopes, their dreams, their desires for oral sex. We've got a few teams left unassigned, so if you've got a jones to write about your team, email us to let us know why you're perfect to write about, say, the Browns, better than Frey did.
So, we kick off today.
Your author is Big Daddy Drew, one of the mad geniuses behind Kissing Suzy Kolber. His words are after the jump.
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minnesota vikings
The Vikings Take Adrian Peterson, And On Time, Too!
With the 7th pick of the NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it. More »
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