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Posts Tagged “

Minnesota Vikings

This guy sure has a lot of Vikings jerseys. [You Been Blinded]

adventures in child rearing

Well, That's One Way To Inspire A Child

So, somewhat recently cut Minnesota Vikings defensive lineman Darrion Scott is a charming fellow, full of love, hope and child-rearing tactics that you might not find in the Oprah magazine. Let's take a look into Scott's fortitude-building attempt at putting a plastic bag over his son's head. More »

what seems to be the problem officer

Carl Eller Doesn't Know How Fast He Was Driving

Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face. More »

bryant mckinnie

Bryant McKinnie, Back In The News, Thankfully

We will always hold a special place in our hearts for the four most prominent participants in the Vikings' sex boat scandal from a few years ago: Daunte Culpepper, Fred Smoot, Moe Williams and, today's featured star, Bryant McKinnie. Those guys have us so much enjoyment that we remain honored to have them enshrined in our Hall Of Fame. More »

monday night football

Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies

Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season? More »

monday night football

It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard

Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine! More »

weed!

Vikings' Dwight Smith In Trouble Again

The Minnesota Vikings have a significant game against the Chicago Bears this Monday night, so it should come as no surprise that one of their players was arrested. That's just what they do. And I, for one, appreciate the consistency. More »

smootalicious

Mmmm, It's A Boatload Of Goodness

Who can make the sun rise? Sprinkle it with dew? Fred Smoot can, that's who! How could an energy bar endorsed by the former Vikings sex boat participant — and produced by a company named 3Way Enterprises — not be a major success? Introducing the Smack Energy Bar! More »

brett favre

Packers Bong Guy Keeps Putting Lotion In The Basket


You may remember the not-at-all-creepy fellow who celebrated Brett Favre's 420th touchdown in the only appropriate fashion. Well, he has a new hit video, in honor of the Packers' shellacking of the Vikings last week. More »

your grandma sucks

Mourning Your Grandmother Is Fineable Offense For Vikings

When we first heard that Minnesota Vikings wide receiver was being docked a game's pay for missing a game for his grandmother's funeral, we figured there had to be a catch. He had a history of skipping practice. He was generally an attitude problem. His grandmother was a Fascist. Something. But nope: They just flat refused to pay him. More »

koy detmer mania

The Detmer-Favre Rivalry Continues


The Vikings just signed Koy Detmer, and he very well might play this weekend against the Packers. I Dislike Your Favorite Team brings back this video of the last time Detmer and Brett Favre faced off. More »

oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah

Oh, No, You Didn't Forget About Jeff, Did You?

If it's almost November, that can only mean one thing: Time for Jeff George's annual desperate plea to come back to the NFL! More »

nfl just-past-6 o'clock updates

Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?

• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exactly how you cure fatigue. Don't squirt the water in the mouth. Just aim for the nape. More »

nfl division previews

It's The NFC North Pants Party


OK, now it's time for the NFC Central North. We haven't seen anybody pick anybody other than the Bears yet. We suspect it won't be much different here. More »

whimsy

Locate Your Local Viking


From Chiefs Coalition comes this photo from ... well, we're not sure where it's from. But we're having a really difficult time figuring out where that Vikings' hands and feet go.

nfl season preview

NFL Season Preview: Minnesota Vikings

Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, running one every weekday, we have to start today. So there you have it.

Last year, we asked some of our favorite writers to opine why Their Favorite Team Was Better Than Yours. Ultimately, we found this constrictive, and it also might have killed James Frey. So this time, we've just asked them to just run free, talk about their team, their experience as a fan, their hopes, their dreams, their desires for oral sex. We've got a few teams left unassigned, so if you've got a jones to write about your team, email us to let us know why you're perfect to write about, say, the Browns, better than Frey did.

So, we kick off today.

Your author is Big Daddy Drew, one of the mad geniuses behind Kissing Suzy Kolber. His words are after the jump.

More »

minnesota vikings

The Vikings Take Adrian Peterson, And On Time, Too!

With the 7th pick of the NFL Draft, the Minnesota Vikings select Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it. More »

nfl

Keeping The Streets Safe Of Vikings

You know, in this day and age, athletes are just out of control, getting arrested, causing all kinds of trouble ... you just can't take them anywhere and not expect a ruckus to ensue. Take Vikings cornerback Cedric Griffin, for example ... he's out there getting arrested for making the world a more dangerous place. More »