Deadspin: mnf

Jeff Garcia Awaits Your Scrutiny In The Comments

DAULERIO — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:45:47 EST

I've been a fan of Jeff Garcia since his little 2006 playoff run with the Eagles and will continue to be one until he finally, mercifully retires. He's not the flashiest guy, wasn't blessed with a big arm, and is particularly unimposing when he's photographed in black and white with freckle-splashed pectorals. But he's resilient. Every year it seems like the guy has to fight for a contract and convince teams that, yes, he's still a viable option and can help you win games, but nobody believes him. Do you?

Yet, here he is, once again, shirtless and scowling, trying to keep the Bucs atop the NFC Winter Vacation division. But to do so, he'll have to get past the Carolina Panthers and their frisky defense and suddenly unstoppable DeAngelo Williams. This will be one of the better MNF games of the year, as you have two first place teams, division rivals, all sorts of playoff implications and, of course, Jeff Garcia's wily quarterbacking skills.

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TONIGHT: Bucs/Panthers on Monday Night Football.

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Faltering Bills Encouraged By Female Makeout Session

Rick Chandler — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:30:58 EST

First it was the man and woman getting it on in one of the restrooms, and now this ... as a couple of apparently hot chicks celebrate a Bills touchdown on Monday Night in their own special way. Who would have thought that Ralph Wilson Stadium would be the NFL's hot, sensual love palace? Just what else is going on under those parkas, Buffalo??

I hereby dub 2008 as the Year of the Lesbianic Sports Kiss. This truly is a Golden Age, is it not? More photos, including the windup and the pitch, right here.

Wonder if these girls later adjourned to the 300 level women's restroom?

Happy Hour, Last Call [Sparty And Friends]

Jay Cutler Out to Prove his Arm is Bigger Than His Mouth

DAULERIO — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:45:24 EDT

Tonight, the Denver Broncos and mouthy quarterback Jay Cutler swagger into Foxboro and will attempt to frustrate the completely neutralized New England Patriots on their home field. Even though the Pats do not remotely resemble anything close to the juggernaut they were last year, they're still favored by three points. Somebody in Vegas must think that Matt Cassel is destined for a career defining game even though he's coming off a week of putridity. Cutler, on the other hand, is one of the league leaders in passing this season and, of course, disrespecting Phillip Rivers and John Elway. One could only imagine what kind of thoughts he has about poor Cassel.

So here is the spot where you can yell about this game.

Enjoy your night tonight, thank you for your continued support of Deadspin, come back tomorrow for more of your finest SKEETS and cheeses.

Stuart Scott is Desperate to Avoid Any Photographic Evidence of Him Chatting Up Cheerleaders

DAULERIO — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:15:50 EDT

Many ESPN personalities and other sports-reporter level famous individuals are paranoid about humiliating photos of them popping up on the internet. Thankfully, most of the recognizable faces at the WWL have made peace with the notion that, yes, if they are photographed gawking at Kendra Wilkinson or leaving bumbling voice mail messages to girls in Dewey Beach, it's newsworthy to Sports Blog America. Then there's Stu Scott, who's been justifiably furious over certain rumors regarding his late night text-message habits and pretty much sworn off the credibility of blogs forever because of said rumor. Fair enough. The story that Jonathan Bachman, a photographer for the Gambit Daily, told me about Scott's behavior during last night's Monday Night Football game, he has made it abundantly clear he's not going to let the internet sully his reputation ever again.

Bachman was working the sidelines during the Monday Night Football game in New Orleans and at one point was taking photographs of the stadium crowd from the Vikings sideline which was near the MNF Countdown set. Bachman was standing directly behind Scott, who just so happened to be speaking with a Saints cheerleader at the time. Bachman wasn't photographing him, but given that his lens was pointed in their general direction, it caught Scott's attention. Scott said to Bachman something to the effect of "With the internet now man? Why? All I'm asking is why?" Bachman, startled by the question, tried to tell Scott that he wasn't taking pictures of him, but it initially didn't convince Stu. Bachman said that Stu wasn't testy with him and was quite polite — Stu didn't grab his camera or even demand he stop taking photos — but he was just a little taken aback that Scott would question why he was doing his job to begin with. Bachman said he showed Scott that he was deleting the shot of Stu and the cheerleader (which didn't exist, mind you — Bachman just pushed a button and deleted another photograph to spite him) and Stu said "Cool, cool" and walked away.

Scott, via ESPN media relations, had "no comment" on the incident. Just for some background via other ESPN sources close to the situation: Scott's reaction was in direct response to the "Lemme know" goofiness that caused him such distress. (And Scott was standing there, chatting with his colleague Emmitt Smith at the time. Scott was supposedly just asking the cheerleader something completely innocuous based on their conversation.) Given that supposedly harmless scenario, Scott still chose to somewhat politely guilt-trip an accredited photographer who was just doing his job on the sidelines at a Monday Night Football game. Would a candid shot of Stu chatting up a cheerleader on the sidelines during the middle of a MNF game be newsworthy? Possibly. I guess. But Bachman didn't even think of that and was unaware of the significance of the interaction. And remember what the setting is: this is a Monday Night Football game. This is not some private party where these types of concessions could (alright, should) be made. Scott's a popular sports personality at a public event and a working photographer there to get shots for a story pretty much has every right to snap things he thinks might be newsworthy. Jonathan Bachman didn't think Stu Scott talking to a cheerleader was newsworthy — however, Stu Scott did.

Look, I can completely understand that Stu's doing his best to avoid getting attached to anymore tawdry rumors but, honestly, if the interaction was as innocent and inconsequential as he claims it was, why would he say anything to Bachman to begin with?

Besides, he is getting divorced. He's allowed to make new friends.

Reggie Bush Will Surely Bring Out His Slippery Backdoor Moves Against the Vikings This Evening

DAULERIO — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:00:31 EDT

Even though tonight's game isn't the marquee match-up the MNF schedulers had hoped for in the beginning of the season, seeing Adrian Peterson do his Purple Jesus thing against a shoddy Saints defense could be entertaining. The Saints are giving three points, mostly because they're home and the Vikings offense hasn't proved it can score any points so far this season. Plus, what happened to that vaunted Vikings defense that was so spectacular? They're not so spectacular so far against the pass, which doesn't bode well for purple people considering that Drew Brees is having his second career resurgence and throwing with unconscious accuracy. He's like Robert Deniro with that tennis ball in "Awakenings." Even the Vikings defense praises Brees for both his tenacity and his ability to avoid forced sodomy:
"He won't take any sacks," Williams said. "You got to give him all the credit. He's like Brett Favre and Peyton Manning. He's not going to let you just pound his (butt)."

Speaking of butt-pounders (of the Aremnian female variety that is), Reggie Bush might have a little trouble sashaying into the end zone this evening, but never underestimate the man's ability to do big things on Monday night. If I were the type to wager for recreational purposes, I see no reason why any person wouldn't bet a foot massage with an agreeable party that the Saints will win by two touchdowns.

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Tonight: Talk here about football if you'd like. Remember, Sussman's upstairs live blogging Red Sox/Angels if you'd like to watch him use his hands in ways that most human beings can't for your general amusement. Tip him accordingly with your love and admiration.

Alright, I'm gonna go change my pants. See you tomorrow, thanks for your continued support of this internet establishment which shall no longer be using page views as an incentive come January 2009.