Deadspin: mustaches

Pitcher Known For Mustache Wins Mustache Award

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:45:00 EST

In what other award ceremony will you hear the winning entry referred to as a "menacing mouth garden?"

D-Backs reliever Clay Zavada won the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year award from the American Mustache Institute, and eagerly traveled to St. Louis to accept his crown and plaque.

Thanks to Quicken and the American Mustache Institute as this is an honor, especially to beat out some great people like Captain Sully Sullenberger, who is an absolute hero," said a modest yet good looking Zavada, who in 51 innings for the Diamondbacks in 2009 struck out 52 batters with a 3.35 ERA. "I am humbled that so many people in America care about mustaches and have been amazed at all of the support I've gotten, especially from my grandma who was really fired up about me winning."

Meh, let's celebrate Clay Zavada and his Rollie Fingers-lite, because it's the only hardware any of the Diamondback are bringing home this season.

Diamondbacks' Zavada Wins "Mustached American of the Year" [AMI]
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Thanks for joining us for another Sunday. I don't know if you've heard, but there's a baseball game of moderate importance tonight.

Colt McCoy Sheds His Third Eyebrow

Ben Cohen — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:30:00 EDT

The grizzly folks at the AMI are none too tickled about the Texas quarterback's fumble, comparing it to a Greek tragedy. Imagine if Tim Tebow, in his corn-fed handsomeness, shaved a mustache. I have. It's called the apocalypse. [AMI]

Finding Mustachioed Men In St. Louis Will Win You All-Star Game Tickets

Ben Cohen — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:45:00 EDT

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.The All-Star Game is rife with "bare-faced mortals," so the American Mustache Institute — bless their whiskers — is sponsoring a so-called Stache Dash. Find playing cards of mustachioed legends, win bleacher seats. No facial hair necessary. [AMI]

The American Mustache Institute — yes,...

Leitch — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 10:30:26 EDT

The American Mustache Institute — yes, it exists — is hosting voting for the Best Sports Mustache Of All Time. Oh, come on, it's too obvious to vote for Rollie. [American Mustache Institute]

If Only Mike Cooper Called New York City Home...

mjdeadspin — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 14:01:12 EDT

It's a sad commentary on the state of the summer sports scene that one of the most important things happening today (other than the Arena Football playoffs, of course) is this Mustache Madness tournament going on at Keyboard Quarterbacks.

Unfortunately, the contestants are limited to those who have had something to do with sports in New York City. And that's fine, NYC is a good place to start if you're looking for the best in hairy upper lips, but representatives from Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and much of the midwest would like to take on the winner. Rollie Fingers is just waiting to kick anybody's ass.

We're down to the Sweet 16 today, with 1 seeds Goose Gossage, Keith Hernandez, Bobby Nystrom, and Walt Frazier (my pick) still alive. Darkhorse candidate John Starks and his penciled-on mustache, I'm sorry to say, didn't survive the first round.

Mustache Madness: Sweet Sixteen [Keyboard Quarterbacks]

The Orioles Get Their Mike Cooper And Carl Monday On

Leitch — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 17:30:12 EDT

So the Orioles — yes, the Orioles — are off to a blistering start in the American League East, and the explanation can not be found in Leo Mazzone or Erik Bedard. It's in the mustache!

Though careful not to violate the club's facial hair policy, the Orioles' relievers have decided to grow mustaches as another symbol of team unity. They're definitely not going for fashion. "You like it? It looks kind of trashy," John Parrish said.

Our favorite part is the description of the team's facial hair policy.

The facial hair policy doesn't allow for mustaches to extend beyond the corners of the mouth.

Now, is there a beleaguered clubhouse employee charged with enforcing this policy? Because that doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant job to us. But now we know why the Orioles hired Hirshey as their emergency catcher.

Stache Holds Mysterious Powers [WBRS Sports Blog]
Hairy Situation [Baltimore Sun]

Price For Mustache Rides Drops Dramatically

Leitch — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 10:48:51 EDT

We can't help but notice something: It has been a bad few days for the mustache. Pittsburgh coach Dave Wannstedt is 0-2 as coach of his alma mater. Orioles steroid pariah Rafael Palmeiro is gonna hide for the rest of the season, probably for the rest of his career. And the patron saint of this, Tom Selleck, hasn't been in a non-TV movie this decade. We are expecting Keith Hernandez to get nailed in some sort of sex scandal — nothing involving cocaine, though, of course not — any minute now.

Another Sorry Chapter In Pitt Era [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
A Chapter Closed, But More To Palmeiro Story [KC Star]