The whole Binghamton "zoo" motif began last week when five more players were tossed off the team for various offenses, prompting exasperated BU athletic director Joel Thirer to say, "Truthfully, if I'm the president? Who's running the zoo? "

Because Binghamton's basketball team is comprised of many African-Americans, Thirer's zoo imagery dances dangerously close to casual racism, but Amanda Padwa, the business manager for the actual Binghamton Zoo, cranks the insensitivity amp to 11, just for good measure. Padwa sent a pithy letter to the Binghamton Press where she calmly explains how comparisons between the team and the zoo are completely unfair to, you know, the zookeepers and caged wild animals under their care.

I am tired of hearing that blight on Binghamton University, the men's basketball team, being referred to as a "zoo." The Binghamton Zoo at Ross Park has just received re-accreditation by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the industry's governing authority. We achieved this status by being in the top 10 percent of all the zoos in the country.

Our animal care, safety, employees and educational and service standards are set high and met accordingly. Not one of our tigers has been arrested with cocaine. No otter knocks over old ladies to shoplift condoms. Our bear doesn't have temper tantrums and storm off his exhibit. You won't find any of our lemurs busted for smoking pot. So, please, stop insulting zoos by comparing those criminals to us.

Amanda J. Padwa

Business Manager

Binghamton Zoo

To be fair, you won't find any of Binghamton's players cruelly plucked from their natural habitat and forced to spend their lives in a small enclosed space behind bars for the rest of their lives. Oh wait.

Please Stop Insulting The Zoo [The Quad]
At Binghamton, Division I Brings More Recognition And Regret [NYT]

The money's not just for admission to their showcase tournaments, either. College coaches are often forced to shell out extra for packets of information that sometimes don't even include the recruits' jersey numbers, writes The New York Times' Pete Thamel. It's a surcharge of, oh, $300. Just an average day at the local gymnasium.

Some coaches — Vanderbilt's Kevin Stallings and Yale's James Jones, notably — went on the record to decry the shady entrepreneurs. The ones with clout — Mike Krzyzewski, Ben Howland, Thad Matta and Tom Izzo, among them — declined to comment. Which is a shame, because while they lobby behind closed doors, they could also take a more public stand. It's not like the NCAA will. After all, this is a bureaucracy that requires four years to potentially paint a 24-inch arc on a basketball court.

"That's exactly what's wrong with our business," Stallings said. "There's a mentality where coaches want to cover themselves and not get out there and say what's right and call out the people that are wrong.

"That's precisely why things are the way they are. That's why we have culture issues in our game. It's a darn shame. The people who could have influence and do have a voice, they choose not to use it because it doesn't help them. They don't want anything unsettling their smooth little boat ride."

Good thing they're surrounded by water. There's plenty of slime to wash off.

Who's That On The Court? [New York Times]
Yet another way AAU types scam coaches [The Dagger]
Another Prerequisite For Referees [Deadspin]

Remember how the NBA solved this problem? It painted an arc around the basket. You know how any logical organization would solve this problem? It would paint an arc around the basket.

Not good enough for the NCAA. Instead, college referees will be forced to eyeball the arc, decide whether the helper defender was inside that radius and then, if necessary, figure out whether his feet were set in the first place. All in about a half a second. Which will cure nothing, because, as Robbi Pickeral points out, the "theater" of flopping will continue, as players simply will dare referees to make two correct calls instead of just one.

Why won't there be an arc? The referees wanted it — of course they did — but they were pigeonholed by pointless bureaucracy.

Dick Hack, chair of the NCAA Basketball Playing Rules Committee, said that because of NCAA rules, it would have taken four years for the arc to go through all the proper channels and committees, before it could be permanently painted on all the floors.

"We were thinking, 'How can we add something that will be beneficial right away?'" Hack said.

Here's an idea: Figure out a way for it not to take four years to paint a 24-inch arc.

NCAA tries to take charge under the rim [Raleigh N&O]

Just like the rest of Kentucky's fan base and her father — who called out "this Pat Ford guy" in a tweet last month — Erin Calipari has taken umbrage with Forde's reporting on Kentucky's basketball program. The Kentucky resident has rained on the Calipari-to-Kentucky parade since the opening press conference, presciently warning of past transgressions and shady alliances, but his criticisms have been consistently dismissed by the Wildcat commentariat because he co-wrote a book with Rick Pitino and, consequently, must just hate the Widcats.

So in the last two days, Erin Calipari has been on the offensive, dissing Forde through Facebook for more than 3,000 of her closest friends. A collection of status updates (Photoshopped for consolidation), sent in from astute readers:

Perhaps she should heed the advice her father gave her other sister after she scooped the news that Josh Pastner would be Memphis' new head coach: "I told them that they have to get off Facebook. This stuff is crazy."

John Calipari takes on ESPN, or vice versa [The Dagger]
Facebook's Megan Calipari has learned... [Gary Parrish]
It's 'see no evil, hear no evil' in Kentucky [ESPN]
The Calipari Daughters Should Probably Get Off Facebook Immediately [Deadspin]

For as image-conscious as the NCAA is, and as much as they freak out about sports betting, it's a wonder that they haven't prohibited their chattel from engaging in gambling, or gamboling for that matter. It's even more of a wonder that ol' gosh-dang Huckleberry Hound Roy Williams doesn't seem to have a problem with it. In college, a football-playing friend of mine was scared shitless of being seen in a casino during trip to Las Vegas for a University of Kansas away game against UNLV because it would reflect poorly on the school and on him. Ty Lawson, given the DUI and the gambling, evidently has not given such thought to his image.

Photos: Ty Lawson Gambling On Craps In Reno [Busted Coverage]

The reporter in the video is WLEX 18's Alan Cutler, who, for whatever reason, felt that getting the former Kentucky head coach on the record immediately after he was canned was crucial and worthy of stalkerazzi-style reporting techniques. It's hilarious watching Gilliispie do the cellphone-to-the-ear trick ( a known TMZ repellent) in an attempt to ward off the two or three television reporters following him around the campus. When that fails, he goes into a swift jog, trying to shake the dogged Cutler who's cutting him off at every angle. " I can run all day, Billy!," Cutler says at one point. But, alas, he's finally stopped by a secretary as soon as Gillispie reaches the safety of his office.

Cutler's behavior is being criticized,
but nothing can compare to the bashing Gillispie's getting, as most of the reports suggest that it wasn't his coaching record that was the problem, but his wild-eyed hillbillyness that ended his reign at UK. Or, as Athletic Director Mitch Barnhart put it, they had a "a difference in philosophies." :

"There is a clear gap in how the rules and responsibilities overseeing the program are viewed. It is a gap I do not believe can be solved by just winning games."

UK's now looking for a more polished, regal candidate, one that will restore the image of the school's program as one of the country's elite. Names like Izzo, Calipari and, yes, Pitino are being tossed around as potential candidates.(What's with Kentucky's obsession with Italians?) As for Gillispie, he stated he has no hard feelings about Kentucky, but does expect to be paid the $6 million of his contract. UK, on the other hand, says it has no intention of paying the buyout because they basically think Gillispie's the most heinous individual ever to step foot into Lexington.

Stalking Gillispie....[OnlineSportsGuys]

Tomorrow: I'll be dicking around these parts, wishing I were outside.

Sunday: If Dash has stopped vomiting, it'll be him.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Now go where eagles dare...

****

Folks, if I don't get away from this here crappy internet connection soon, the laptop's getting doused in kerosene, set aflame, and tossed through a window. So much for relaxation and recuperation. You've been a great audience as always. If I've been a little NCAA-centric today, never fear - the comedic Canadian stylings of Gourmet Spud will likely balance it all out tomorrow. Be good.

(NCAA buckets. Duh.)

Today has pretty much been a snoozer as far as basketball action is concerned. That may all change tonight during the NCAA's evening sessions.

Purdue vs. Washington, 5:40 PM, Portland. You gotta fight! For the right! To get demolished by UConn next week!

North Carolina vs. LSU, 5:45 PM, Greensboro, NC. The North Carolina schools' annual NCAA tournament tour of North Carolina's arenas continue. Will Hansbrough ever close his mouth and/or get a rebound? Tune in to find out!

Oklahoma vs. Michigan, 5:50 PM, Kansas City. Will Michigan avenge their 1976 Orange Bowl loss to Oklahoma? Tune in to find out!.

Gonzaga vs. Western Kentucky, 8:10 PM, Portland. Chicago sports radio host Dan Bernstein has a theory that every year in the NCAA tournament, one of the Cinderella teams has red jerseys. Is Western Kentucky this year's Crazy Red Team? Tune in to find out!

Duke vs. Texas, 8:15 PM, Greensboro. Tonight, we are all Texans. Hook 'em, Horns!

Possibly because Bill Clinton's personal assistant is not a former Duke basketball star, Clinton didn't get into as much detail as Obama did with his picks. However, he did prove that the political instincts that have gotten him into and out of much trouble over the years are alive and well, despite the fact that Clinton isn't, as far as I know, running for any political office.

Clinton, college basketball fan, and Carville, political strategist, went through the lineup.

"Who have you got in the Final Four?" Carville asked Clinton.

""Louisville, Memphis, Pittsburgh and North Carolina," Clinton said. "Or Louisville [versus] Connecticut. I can't tell. Memphis may have a good enough defense, but they're skinny, so U Conn can probably match up against them and I think they'll get by."

Clinton went on to predict a Louisville-North Carolina final, with the Cardinals emerging from a tight contest as National Champions.

"Louisville was so good to us the last go 'round I kind of think Louisville will win," the former president said. "But North Carolina I still believe, you know, they sort of show up sometimes and sometimes they don't.

Seriously, Prez, you're not in office anymore. It's OK to take a stand one way or another. But then again, President Clinton's been saying wacky things for years.

Former President Clinton Weighs In On The NCAA Tournament [Not Qualified To Comment]

First up at 3:20, we've got a surprising Maryland squad going up against Memphis in Kansas City. As you may remember, Maryland beat Cal in the first round to win the opportunity to run into John Calipari's well-oiled hair team. Considering no one thought Maryland would a) make the tournament and b) win their first round matchup, making a bold prediction seems like a silly proposition here. Memphis had a tough time with their first round opponent Cal State-Northridge, but let's be honest — they were probably all half asleep.

At 3:35, Connecticut takes on Texas A&M in Philadelphia. This one could be more painful than one of those Texas A&M pretend soldiers squeezing his nuts at a football game. Jim Calhoun's back on the sidelines for UConn and Mark Turgeon is still on the sidelines for Texas A&M. I feel bad for people who actually spent money on tickets for today's session in Philly.

Enjoy the games. I'm having some internet hiccups so bear with the light posting.

*A man can dream, folks. A man can dream.

If you're so inclined, here are the tournament previews for the teams involved. I'll be back in a while to set up the other second round matchups.

[Villanova Wildcats]

[UCLA Bruins]

Now, before anyone gets all bent out of shape about the NCAA hating your magical best friend in the sky, I'll remind you that the NCAA prohibits from waving ANY signs at tournament games. It doesn't matter if you're promoting Jesusism, alfalfism, or good old-fashioned heavy metal; the NCAA pooh-poohs it. The First Amendment, that old standby of any healthy uninformed internet argument, doesn't apply here. NCAA Tournament games are private events put on by a private organization. They can ban pretty much anything they want. Unless, of course, you give the NCAA a few million bucks to be a "corporate partner". Then you can plaster your signs anywhere you damn well please.

HT: Adam

Siena's Ronald Moore has to be pretty pleased with himself today, don't you think? He's the guy with the big brass ones that hit a game-winning 3-pointer with 3.5 seconds remaining in the second(!) overtime last night against Ohio State. He's also probably pretty tired, I imagine. Cleveland State over Wake Forest is a bigger upset by the numbers, sure, but there's just something so...satisfying about seeing Ohio State lose an athletic competition. It just feels right.

Mornin', folks. My liver demands that today be a national day of reflection and recuperation, so let's all just pour ourselves a nice glass of bloody mary water and see what happens today in the world of sport. Feel free, as always, to tip your Weekend Daddy at pete@deadspin.com.

Photo Credit: AP/Chris Peterson