-I Live Blog downward, so deal with it.

-I was hoping that Xavier/Purdue would put on a good show, the jury is still out. Purdue leads 18-16, but neither team is shooting particularly well. Fortunately both teams are playing at a competitive pace.

-Wisconsin is on an 8-0 run and the Wildcats don't look particularly good on either side of the court this half. Wisconsin is up ten, meanwhile Xavier has taken a three point lead over Purdue when Josh Duncan hit from deep.

-Good news for Kansas State fans, a third foul has put Landry on the bench. Beasley needs to take over the game in a hurry. Wisconsin is up 16 with the ball.

-Drew Lavender is an amazing playmaker. And he has a delightful scent. Xavier is holding on to a 4 point lead with 6 minutes to play in the half.

-Purdue is coming right back at Xavier. Marcus Green just hit a ridiculous floater to reclaim the lead.

-The refs call a double technical on Butch and Walker which makes 3 personals for each. I say let the elbow go and punish Butch for the retaliation. Elbows rule.

-Another swing back in Xavier's favor. They managed to make the early comeback and now they're going toe-to-toe with Purdue's young legs. Xavier leads by 3, for now.

-Kansas State is trying to pull within single digits of a tough Wisconsin team. Beasley and Walker have combined for 31 and 14, but nobody else has more than a single basket. Hughes is leading the way for the Badgers who have a 13 point lead.

-Walker is smooth, especially around the rim. Unfortunately Beasley hasn't contributed a lot of offense in the first ten minutes of the half.

-Drew Lavender maintained that lead by banking in a 3 to end the half.

-Walker now has 16 points, but they're still down 11. Why can't Huggins coach everybody?

-This would be more fun if the server were moving a bit quicker.

-Stiemsma just picked up his teammate with an offensive rebound and a putback off of a missed free throw.

-Another trip to the line, this time it's Landry...and he misses both! They're still up 11 but they can't keep missing these.

-Walker is right on cue with a big rebound and basket, but Stiemsma came right back down the floor for the and-one. And did in fact make the much needed free throw.

-Some fabric just fell out of the rafters. And now Walker is down with a busted nose. ELBOWS ARE NOT COOL! And falling fabric is a bad omen.

-With Walker in the infirmary it might be about time for Beasley to start scoring again.

-Krabbs finally scored, and now Walker is coming back into the game.

-Kansas State can't get the ball to Beasley in a good spot and they can't keep their feet off of the baseline. Wisconsin ball.

-Oh fuck, number four on Walker and three free throws for the farmboy from Iowa. That double tech was bullshit.

-The Muskies and the BM's are back from the locker room and they're going right back at each other. C.J. Anderson just put Xavier up by six on a tough and-one. He has all 6 of his team's points this half.

-Meanwhile Wisconsin has gone up 19 on Kansas State and I've all but given up. 3:30 or so left to play.

-CBS has also given up on Kansas State, so now I don't have to watch one game on my computer..

-Xavier is holding on to a 48-43 lead with under 14 to play.

-Three minutes later and Brown provides a crushing alley oop off of an inbounds pass to further pad the Xavier lead. That lead is now up to double digits following Duncan's pair of free throws.

-It would be a good time for Purdue to go on a run, and that's just what Chris Kramer does, going end-to-end for 2.

-Burrell answers right back with a seemingly impossible layup.

-And Purdue is back! Hummell finally woke up and hit a big 3 to bring the BM's within a single point. Boiler up indeed.

-Purdue made their run and Xavier has answered with authority. They're determined to hold off Purdue. Muskies by 6 with 3:30 to play until the Sweet 16.

-In other news, Notre Dame and Wazzu are underway in scenic Denver. They're just five minutes in but Harandody already has four rebounds, though he's still scoreless. Wazzu leads 11-7 behind Low's six early points.

-I want to sue these Coke Zero assholes.

-More on the Wazzu/ND game in tonight's live blog coming up later this evening.

-Purdue just got a desperately needed 3 pointer to bring them within 5 with less than 50 seconds to play. It's free throws from here.

-After a delay to sort out the shot clock Purdue gets two key free throws. They're still down 5 with 44 seconds left, but they forced the Muskies to take a timeout before the inbounds pass.

-And Xavier throws it away! Purdue ball with nary a second ticking off of the clock.

-Kansas and UNLV have gotten started as well. I'll get to the evening live blog a little bit later on tonight.

-Purdue can't get a bucket and Xavier is going to the line with 35 seconds left. This shit is taking forever.

-Xavier hits only one of two and after a flurry of tips at the other end Purdue is headed to the line. Hummell hits one of two himself, but a lane violation will give him another shot to bring Purdue within 4 points. 28 seconds remain.

-Hummell takes advantage of his second chance, but Purdue takes a long time to foul Drew Lavender. Lavender, of course, hit both free throws. A steal by Burrell and a foul will put the Muskies right back to the line with a chance to seal the game.

-Another 1-for-2 trip to the line means there's still a faint chance. Purdue gets the quick two, but they're still down five with 10.5 to play. Timeout Xavier.

-Purdue stole the inbounds pass, but their attempted 3-pointer was blocked. Drew Lavender went flying in the process, and the lil' fella with 18 points and 9 assists will go to the line and wrap this up for good. Muskies are on to the Sweet 16.

-I'll be back later.

-

Image via ESPN

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6:08: San Diego steals the pass ... and they win. Wow. Fun game. Goodbye, Connecticut. Good night, everyone.

6:07: That might not have been a better play call, but man, did it work. Vashon Jackson drains a jumper, and San Diego leads. Holy cow.

6:05: Dyson hits both free throws. San Diego calls time out, and we certainly hope they have a better play to call than Belmont did.

6:03: Dyson drives on the injured Brandon Johnson, who fouls him. Nine seconds left. Dyson can tie or take the lead. Does San Diego have anybody left?

6:03: Rob Jones drives on the big man, scores and is fouled. He's a 56.8 percent free throw shooter on the year ... and he misses this one. Here comes UConn.

6:01: UConn takes the lead with .35 seconds left. One point game.

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5:59: With 1:05 left, a terrible, unforced travel on San Diego gives UConn the ball back. The Huskies are back in charge.

5:56: And having the huge 7-foot-3 Thabeet makes a difference. He scores and is fouled by the absolute wrong guy, Gyno Pomare, who has 22 points, 11 boards and, judging from his first name, a tough job.

5:54: Speaking of the Lost motif we mentioned in the last blog, we totally feel like we're just typing random numbers into a computer with no rhyme or reason right now. We do it because we must.

5:53: No points left in the overtime, one minute in. It has been that type of game.

5:49: All the Tim Brando you can take today: Another overtimer.

5:48: After SD's Devin Ginty once again splits free throws, UConn is fouled. Two shots for Jerom Dyson to tie the game ... and he hits them both. 10.4 seconds.

5:43: We hate to keep harping on this, but Tim Brando really is awful. After San Diego splits two free throws, UConn drives and lays one in to bring the game within one. This doesn't stop Brando from saying the game is tied. Doesn't that guy have an earpiece?

5:42: San Diego really needs to be more careful with the ball. One more foul to go.

5:40: Austrie makes an easy layup for UConn, but they aren't even in the penalty, so they need to foul a couple more times here. Gotta hate when that happens.

5:39: Rob Jones for San Diego puts in a layup to take a four-point lead. Brando: "This ain't Carmen Sandiego!" Christ, man, enough.

5:38: White guys can do reversals in midair past seven footers like that? Who knew?

5:35: Tied up with 2:53. No offense to Western Kentucky, but the value on this win would be classified as "high."

5:31: UConn down by 1 with 3:55 left. We'll take a close one to finish the day, sure.

5:29: Connecticut's players have the Superman problem. Superman is so much more powerful than human beings that he has to be careful when he so much as gives someone a hug, lest they crush him. The Huskies are so much larger than the San Diego players that even a touch looks like a slam to the ground. And they're down by 3.

5:27: Two 3-pointers give San Diego a six-point lead. Brando responds by screaming "Hello! Hello!" like Mike Myers. Appropriate.

5:23: A thought about the Western Kentucky game. Isn't it a shame they couldn't have beaten a big school with that last shot? That game had no bad guys; if Drake would have hit that shot, no one would have felt any differently. Contrast that to the Northwestern State game, which had the thrill of the underdog. this is why there shouldn't so many mid-major vs. mid-major games.

5:21: By the way, the other games are all at final. Only this one remains. But you knew that.

5:18/: Predictably, right when Connecticut's about to take the lead ... they turn the ball over.

5:16: A good point from Brando! One that didn't involve a pun! He points out that Connecticut's run started when San Diego started to slow the game down and milk clock. The prevent defense never works, except in Madden. Huskies within one.

5:14: Connecticut is starting to remember, oh yeah, they're better than San Diego, and a run brings the score within three.

5:11: Do you think Geno Auriemma prank calls Jim Calhoun every once in a while? It seems like something he'd do.

5:08: Connecticut has 12 turnovers, and we'd bet every one of them was brutal and stopped a fast break. They play like the group of freshmen and sophomores they are. Calhoun is not blowing us away with his coaching right now.

5:04: Every other game is still a blowout. In case you were wondering why we weren't updating those.

5:01: UConn is playing hard, doing what they can to come back, but shots aren't falling. It's almost distressing to watch.

4:57: A.J. Price is toying with coming back in. This seems like a bad idea. Not that they have much choice right now anyway.

4:52: San Diego doesn't waste any time by dropping a 3-pointer to start the half. Seven point lead. UConn is in serious, serious trouble.

4:30: We come to halftime of the Connecticut game, and San Diego is up by five, and no other game is close. So we're gonna take a break. See you in a bit.

4:23: UMBC is hanging around, down by 10 with 17 minutes left. But Connecticut is the really screwed Big East team. Price is out for the game, and maybe longer, and they're down by five. Western Kentucky-San Diego for the Sweet 16? We like.

4:18: We find ourselves cheering for every player on Georgetown and San Diego to have unpronounceble names that don't remind Tim Brando of anything.

4:14: We would love to see the 7-foot-3 Hibbert hanging out with the 5-foot-8 Green from UMBC. Would make a fun Billy Crystal movie. San Diego up by two. Every other game is pretty much over. We're cynical today.

4:07: We're gonna go ahead and posit: Connecticut's in serious trouble in this game. A.J. Price is out , they're down by three and, most ominous, San Diego isn't hanging around because they're draining threes. They look like an even match. Unlike the other three games going on right now.

4:03: A.J. Price just went to the floor screaming, terrifying everybody in the building. Everybody, that is, except for Tim Brando, who took about 45 seconds to notice. It's silent in the arena. Except for Brando, of course.

3:57: All year, the conventional wisdom is that Gonzaga and St. Mary's were the best two teams in the WCC. If San Diego hadn't won the conference tournament, they'd be in the NIT right now. (Maybe.) But having watched all three teams today, Sa Diego looks like the best one. And they're up by four right now on Connecticut.

3:52: So Butler's a blowout, Texas is a blowout and Georgetown is leaning that way. It's UConn or bust, people.

3:47: Tim Brando almost ruined the Drake-Western Kentucky game with his awful puns. A reader sends in one from the Texas-Austin Peay game: ""And the infectious chants of 'Let's go Peay!' have been flushed away. " Sure they've never heard THAT one before.

3:43: Connecticut game is tipped off. We're just realizing how easy of a draw Connecticut got. Let's see if they blow it. Butler is pulling away from South Alabama already, and right now, the St. Mary's-Georgetown game is the only one with less than a 10-point lead. It's 3-2.

3:40: We don't want to say the 5-8 point guard for UMBC is small, but we think we heard him give off a Monica Seles-esque GRUNT when he hoisted a three. He missed it.

3:38: Thirteen lead changes already in the South Alabama-Butler game. That makes us dizzy.

3:32: Honestly, Roy HIbbert looks like he could have all five UMBC guys hanging on his shoulders, and he wouldn't notice. Butler and South Alabama are tight still.

3:28: It's pretty wild that UMBC is outrebounding Georgetown right now, considering they have no one taller than 4-foot-3. Texas is up 17-3 on Austin Peay. No matter how old we get, as an Illini fan, we never get tired of watching Austin Peay lose.

3:23: We officially love UMBC. They're up 12-9.

3:19: We're always surprised Patrick Ewing Jr. doesn't play differently. We look forward to someday Jeff Jordan breaking his heart, somehow.

3:16: Maryland-Baltimore County has a white point guard who is 5-foot-8. That can't bode well. That said, they scored seven in a row and are tied with Georgetown early.

3:10: Ty Rogers just made most of the lousy games yesterday all worth it. Let's see how this works out. We are less than optimistic about this slate of games, but, you know, fingers crossed.

3:05: Still in overtime. Man does Drake have a lot of white guys.

2:57: The damned Drake-WKU game is in overtime, so bear with us on this one.

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3:08: Holy crap! OK, Western Kentucky's Ty Rogers just hit our first buzzer-beater of the tournament ... and it was absolutely worth waiting for. Western Kenutcky wins, and we're probably rooting for them the rest of the tournament now. Wow.

3:06: We like that this Cox fellow is a former walk-on. For the lead ... he makes the free throw. Drake up 99-98. 5.7 seconds.

3:04: So Drake missed about six shots and finally flailed enough that somebody got fouled. That Cox fellow goes to the line. 5.7 seconds left.

3:02: OK, so Drake's down by one with 21.3 seconds left, and they have the ball. And no Korver!

3:01: The little Korver fouled out. We didn't know Korvers played enough defense to foul out.

2:59: With one minute left, Tyron Brazelton — no relation to Dewon, we presume — ties it for WKU. And the Korver kid misses a three, but Drake has it back ... 40 seconds ... Drake sure does have a lot of shooters .. and a VERY stupid foul by the Hilltoppers.

2:57: We find it unsettling when Young for Drake scores. It just tees up another Brando pun. Stop, Tim: Stop.

2:54: Only the young survive! Another three gives Drake a lead, but WKU comes back to make it within one. They aren't calling many fouls in this game; we just want 2 1/2 minutes without a stoppage in play. That makes it difficult to live blog. Knock it off, guys.

2:48: And crap. Looks like we have overtime. OK, let's see how this works.

2:47: A.J. Slaughter, the guy with the awesome name, is called for a charge, and now it's Drake ball. The mascot is sad.

2:46: Thirty seconds left, and we're tied on a three by a guy named Cox. Lots of white guys in Iowa. Who knew? Pretty amazing comeback by Drake, but Western Kentucky has the ball with 30 seconds left. We ask that this game not go into overtime, because we don't want to do two live blogs at once.

2:43: After a guy named Young brings Drake within one, Tim Brando yells "Only the young survive!" Boo on you, Tim Brando. BOOO. Also: Drake is favored in this game, Mr. Brando; this makes them NOT a Cinderella. 1:12 left.

2:41: Look! It's a Korver! They're so dreamy. Drake down six, two minutes.

2:38: Davidson has finally won one ... Stephen Curry did end up with 40. Miami has beaten St. Mary's, which leaves us only with Drake-Western Kentucky. The HIlltoppers are up by five with three minutes left? Should we keep the live blog going? Oh, why not?

2:34: So Davidson is wrapping this puppy up. Come on come on come on ... show Morrison! Still: We aren't crazy about their chances against Georgetown. Curry's gonna end up with more than 40 points.

2:32: It's looking like a Gonzaga loss; they're down five with 23.4 seconds to go. Oh, and look out: Drake's only down by five all of a sudden. Tennessee ended up winning by 15, by the way. We swear that game was closer.

2:31: How far has Adam Morrison fallen? He's been there the whole game, and the camera JUST NOW showed him, for the first time. Don't cry, Adam!

2:30: Gonzaga misses a three, and our man Lovedale screams and pulls down the rebound. He goes to the line ... he was really screaming, by the way. We heard him from Brooklyn, and not even through the TV. Davidson by five with 37 seconds. Their biggest lead of the game.

2:27: Curry! He hits ANOTHER 3-pointer off a loose ball to give Davidson a 3-point lead with 58.6 to go. Then he pointed at his parents in the stands. Hi, Dell! The original Dell Dude!

2:25: Hey, look Drake's trying to make a comeback: They're only down 10 with 5:18 to go. Meanwhile, Gonzaga-Davidson tied again. Billy Packer keeps raising his voice! It's like seeing Dick Cheney smile.

2:23: The last name "Lovedale" is pretty cool. Davidson by two. Gonzaga looks rattled. So many factors are going in Davidson's favor that we're just sure they're gonna blow it.

2:18: How good is the Gonzaga-Davidson game? Even Billy Packer seems to be enjoying himself. He must think he's watching Wake Forest. (Same general region!) Gonzaga has gone cold at the wrong time, with three-plus minutes without a basket. 3:03 left, Davidson by one.

2:16: Tennessee takes a nine-point lead with 1:51 left. So that dream is over. Your early winers are Miami (probably), Western Kentucky (definitely) and Tennessee (sigh). And we have this massive Gonzaga-Davidson game left, with 4:30 left. Gonzaga by two.

2:11: Davidson is about 85 percent better than they were in the first half ... but another three gives Gonzaga a tie game. Curry misses a three, and with 6:07 left, we are still tied. Tennessee is just about to put away American ... maybe.

2:10: Stephen Curry has 33 points. He has played two NCAA tournament games in his career, and he's gone over 30 in each. And he's a sophomore. 7:01 to go, Davidson up, this game rules.

2:07: Davidson has its first lead of the game. 8:20 to go.

2:05: You know, we thought Drake was supposed to be good? The Bulldogs are toast, down 13. Meanwhile, remember when St. Mary's was hanging with Miami, and even up? They're down by 14. That one's done. Which means we can focus on these two now.

2:02: Another American trey brings it within one ... but then the Vols drain another one. We've got some fun ones happening right now. Meanwhile ... Curry hits another one! Davidson and Gonzaga are tied.

2:01: You can't keep American down: It's back to a four-point game. Sandra Day O'Connor is probably throwing her robe over her had and dancing nude throughout the chambers. We are sure Clarence Thomas will stay for that.

:1:55: After a 10-0 run, Greg Gumbel and Co. lose interest and switch back to Davidson-Gonzaga. Stephen Curry is pretty fun: He has scored 11 straight, and the Wildcats are down four. Davidson, perhaps more than any other school with the nickname "Wildcats," needs to change their nickname to something other than "Wildcats." They would benefit from being know as, like, "the Wooden Shoes" or something.

1:52: Damn Returning-To-Median: Tennessee scores eight straight point, mostly by flexing. Miami is back up on St. Mary's, but Davidson is down by seven and not looking like they're making much of a run. But hey: Hilltoppers!

1:47: NYC CBS switches to Tennessee-American ... and just in time! A 3-pointer by Garrison Carr — his second in 20 seconds — ties it at 40. This is another time we are glad we don't have HD; Pearl wouldn't look too good right now.

1:44: Curry's doing everything he can to keep Davidson hanging around, but Gonzaga clearly looks like they better team: They're up by nine.

1:41: Look out, kids: American is within three of Tennessee. We wonder if Bruce Pearl is sweating. Well, more than he usually does.

1:36: Stephen Curry is 4-for-5 from deep, and Davidson is back down by two. We suspect our friend is leaping around like an idiot now, though he's known for doing that. And another Gonzaga three! Who needs affluent athletic departments?

1:35: During the little break, we drank some Kool-Aid. Steven Gray for Gonzaga has six 3-pointers.

1:30: George Takei has a secret talent? Holy shit! We gotta watch that show!

1:28: Tennessee is only up by four! They are almost compulsively undisciplined, we might add. God do we want American to win.

1:25: As for the Yahoo Scenario Generator, it's still there; it's just hard to find. A reader writes: "Yahoo still has it, it's just not in a place that makes any sense. It's in red on the right side of the bar with Home, Overall, Group, and My Bracket. I'm sure this is one of those design choices that sounded great when you start talking about Bold Colors and Eye Grab and not so great when no one knows where the hell to look for it because it's way off in the corner by itself in a place that's not where anyone would look for it." Indeed!

1:19: A.J. Slaughter, which is just an amazing name, is leading Western Kentucky to a substantial nine-point halftime lead on Drake. It still sucks that all these mid-majors are knocking each other out, though. Still: An exciting morning. Or afternoon. What time is it again?

1:14: Billy Packer is so old-school that he talks about players "getting a blow" when they need rest. Gotta love that. Gonzaga takes a five-point lead at the half, and it's a good morning for the West Coast Conference.

1:11: While we were looking away, Drake fell behind Western Kentucky. Our biology teacher reigns! Why do we have a feeling the second half of that Tennessee game is gonna be like the Washington State-Winthrop game last night? Like, Tennessee is going to score 70 points or something.

1:08: You know, for supposedly how great Davidson is, they sure do resemble every other smaller mid-major undersized slow guys chuck-the-threes team. They're down by five now, though; they can hit their free throws, we'll give them that.

1:05: Honestly, the Guitar Hero commercial where Slash comes out from that guy's stomach freaks us out every time we see it. We think it's the first coming out of the mouth.

1:03: The game that was supposed to be the most evenly matched has the largest margin right now. American still hanging in!

12:59: As if on cue, Davidson takes off on a 7-0 run. Good. We saw enough blowouts yesterday. Poor Sussman, he seems exhausted last night with all the bad games.

12:55: Hey, anybody else wondering why Yahoo doesn't have its Scenario Generator on its fantasy game this year? We loved that thing.

12:54: Make it an 11-point Gonzaga lead. Was Davidson the most popular higher-digit seed in pools? We think they were.

12:53: Davidson has gone extremely cold and is now down by eight. One of our best friends is a Davidson grad, and every year, he watches his team lose in the tournament. Losing to Gonzaga, who became the real mid-major darling in their place, would be brutal. Particularly if it weren't close.

12:50: Just to note ... American is down by two with five minutes left in the first half. This WOULD be better than Duke losing. Tennessee is down in offensive rebounds 11-1. That's not good.

12:48: It seems to make all those WCC fans have two of their teams play at the same time ... at 9:30 in the morning out there. Alas. Gonzaga's up by three.

12:47: We think it's pretty cool that Drake's head coach is the son of Dr. Tom Davis, whom we used to love (really) when he coached for Iowa. We wish son Keno did the sub-five-at-a-time thing that Dr. Tom used to do. We bet, when that Lickliter fellow doesn't fix Iowa, Dr. Tom Jr. ends up there.

12:42: Josh Heytvelt, man, that was an amazing block. Dude. We find it difficult not to root for a basketball player who does/did shrooms. We really do.

12:40: This Davidson-Gonzaga game is going to be amazing, we can just smell it. Davidson just got two free throws from a guy named Max Paulhus Gosselin, who really, REALLY looks like he would work for the Dharma Initiative. And yes: We're FINALLY catching up on Lost. We're halfway through the third season. Please don't tell us what happens. They're tied at 15 right now.

12:37: Honestly, we could look at Western Kentucky's mascot all day. He looks like our junior year biology teacher except, you know, red.

12:34: For the record, American is still up on Tennessee with 13:27 left in the first half. It's 9-7, but whatever. We'll take it.

12:32: We're noticing why perhaps Curry was not heavily recruited by the larger schools; the guy doesn't appear to care about defense. Like, at all. His man has already drained two wide-open 3-pointers. We'd call that "defensive indifference." Neither team has missed a shot yet, but it's 10-6 Gonzaga.

12:29: As you'll note from the picture above, Stephen Curry is not the most handsome man in the world. (Neither was his dad.) But man, his jumper sure is pretty. It's Bo Kimble-esque.

12:25: Sadly, they leave Raftery and the greatness of no defense and head to ... well, Davidson-Gonzaga is OK. Hey, look, it's Billy Packer. He's not gonna like these two non-BCS schools playing. Is there any way they can both lose?

12:22: Bruce Pearl hatred aside, we do love watching Tennessee play. Nobody even tries to play defense. It's like an NBA All-Star Game out there, with less weed.

12:19: We are disappointed that American University Chancellor Sandra Day O'Connor isn't here. We're guessing she just didn't want to listen to Rocky Top for two hours. We know how she feels. Already.

12:17: The first tipoff is Tennessee-American. Considering our long-standing antipathy toward Bruce Pearl, no upset would make us happier today. But we're not holding our breath. The good news: Bill Raftery is here! mantaman!

Pregame: Not sure what the local NYC game is today, but we have a fear that it's not gonna be Davidson-Gonzaga, which is just a shame. Seth Davis is one of those people who have jumped on the Siena bandwagon. We're not sure we understand why everyone's into that, but hey: We picked Oral Roberts, so what do we know?

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12:00 — Ah, the stroke of midnight. With all the non-upsets today, even a Cinderella pun is below me. Wisconsin beat up on Cal-Fullerton 71-56, and the only upset of the day was Kansas State over USC, which again, didn't seem like much of an upset. So that was the the first day, which pretty much blew noxious vapors. Although that 10-minute nap I inadvertently took during the first half of the Arizona-West Virginia game rather energized me. Thanks for playing along, mates.

11:56 — This isn't necessary. We're back to the UCLA-Mississippi Valley game. Show something else. Show Montana high school basketball. Show ballet. Show Ben Howland picking his nose. UCLA won 70 to 29. Highlights of this game are rumors at best.

11:54 — That final minute just game out of nowhere. And it went by just like that, with no timeouts or "hafta fouls." My kinda finish. West Virginia moves on, 75-65.

11:51 — Chase Budinger gets three free throws after getting fouled shooting one of those "long basketball shots." Budinger not only resembles Seth Rogen, he is the Seth Rogen of basketball. Much like a dumb comedy, Budinger can kind of carry this basketball team, but sorta not really.

11:46 — Poignant question, for once. So Enterprise Rent-A-Car is apparently sponsor for the NCAA. So here's a thought. If the NCAA doesn't have an official beer sponsor ... how come rental car companies can get away with it? Some college students can drink at 21. But we all have to wait until 25 to rent a car.

11:43 — It's fair to say that WV's three-point basket there was ... wacky. Even Plinko boards have seen fewer bounces.

11:42 — Well, Arizona's down 60-59 under five minutes. Let's see if the pace of this one continues into something engaging.

11:34 — West Virginia really wants to pull away from Arizona. (As do the rest of us, so we know who wins all four games tonight.) But Arizona just keeps hovering around the five-to-eight point deficit range.

11:31 — WV's backup center's last name is Smalligan. That surname just reeks of scrappiness.

11:25 — The announcer just said that at this point of the game, player fatigue sets in and the quality of play goes down. So these last 10 minutes should be just dreamy.

11:17 — The Hillsfolk are now atop the Deserters by nine points. And 'Sconsin suddenly jumped on Cal-Fullerton by 11 points. No good team wants any fan to watch something competitive tonight.

11:12 — Giving credit where credit is due, in a cyber world rife with cynicism, that Burger King bed-is-jealous-of-man commercial elicited audible laughter.

11:08 — Hey, folks, that Wisconsin-Fullerton games looks like it's the best one of the 9:30 set. This is what it's come to.

11:03 — So that was weird. They showed the five leading scorers for Arizona, and Jawann McClellan was listed as "fifth" with zero points. Was that necessary? Hell, they could've put my name up with zero. They could've put Lute Olsen's marriage at zero. Why Jawann McClellan?

11:01 — Breaking news out of Commercialville, a family of five just burned to death because a firefighter got acid reflux from a Hardee's Jalapeño Thickburger.

10:59 — Ach. Even the commercials are like watching a 1 vs. 16. I haven't seen many of these, so I seriously hope they're saving the big league ads for the Final Four.

10:54 — And I'm saved by Notre Dame-George Mason, who's begun the second half. This isn't the same Mason team we came to know and love back in 2006, so I'm not even going to try and send my heart out for them. ND's pulling away 40-23.

10:47 — We're in the middle of three halftimes right now, and I gotta say ... can first round NCAA basketball get more boring than this? Save for Belmont's near-win, the other seven games have been seven fathoms shy of interesting. And just as I close down the mini-rant, CBS swings us back to UCLA-Mississippi Valley State. That wasn't asked for.

10:42 — Yes, I did just fall asleep for 10 minutes. Who are you going to tell?

10:26.30 — God, this is creepy. "And now we bring you Arizona-West Virginia." There is a Gumbel after all.

10:26 — UCLA increases their lead to 21-6. If I just ... stop ... talking about this game, does that count as a noble silent protest?

10:20: — I believe I just watched 86 consecutive misses and/or turnovers by the Delta Devils. I know I'm exaggerating. It's more like 79.

10:17 — MVSU gets powerfully blocked, and UCLA breaks for another basket. It's a 12-4 game in favor of the Bruins. CHANGEITCHANGEITCHANGEITCHANGEITCHANGEIT.

10:11 — Most famous alum for MVSU: Jerry Rice. Three minutes in, and we're already at the "notable people who went to the school" portion of the game. Yep, cool, they won the SWAC. Let's move it on to another game, shall we?

10:07 — Well, I'm certainly glad they're sending me to UCLA-Mississippi Valley State. That's one of the perks of visiting Wyoming.

10:03 — It's time to go around the tournament for some updates. George Mason trails 23-7. Commonwealth? More like Notre Dame is hogging all the wealth! Heh? Yeah?

And Fullerton and Wisconsin already began. Wisky will do their best to keep this game under 5 total possessions.

9:57 — And we're magically whisked to Arizona-West Virginia. Doo-da-lee-oo. Doo-da-lee-oo. Doo-da-lee-oo. Doo-da-lee-oo.

9:50 — This game couldn't get uglier if Luke Harangody was in the ... oh.

9:45 — Hey, remember George Mason and their NCAA tournament history? 'Cause ya won't forget by the end of this game!

9:35 — A&M will advance, as does Kansas State and Washington State. (Again, that K-State win may be an 11 over a 6, but it had absolutely no underdog sizzle. Not with Michael Beasley on the court.

9:34 — It might be fair to call this one for Texas A&M, being up 67-60 with half a shot clock left.

Pregame Babble

I'm being told to give a deuce about these final four games of the night. Little may top Duke-Belmont, but I think the optic nerves are looking at the Fullerton-Wisconsin game for the next possible upset. Oh, and this BYU-A&M game is still going on, as the Aggies have a three point lead with a minute left in the game.

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9:28 — Oh wait, there's still two minutes left of this Brigham Young-Texas A&M showdown. Eh, I'll continue it in the next live blog.

9:22 — And ... sonofadurham. The halfcourt three comes up a basketball's radius short of sinking, and Duke held on by their pinky to defeat Belmont. Not exactly the best outcome in a game of this magnitude, but I suppose there's always .... THE NINE THIRTY GAMES! LIVE BLOGGED HERE ON DEADSPIN! </selfpromotion>

9:19 — DeMarcus Nelson's first attempt on the one-and-one fell short, and with Belmont's retrieval, a timeout gives them about two seconds left to go down the court and score a bucket.

9:16 — I hope you guys are all Duke fans. After a jump ball (?) that went Belmont's way, the in-bounds was stolen at the end by the Blue Devils, and now they have free throws with 3 seconds left.

9:15 — Gerald Henderson gets the rebound, the drive down court, the layup, the lead, the scientist, the magician, and the other so-called Gods of our legends, with 12 seconds to go.

9:14 — Belmont's ball with 40 seconds left and the lead. Excuse me a sec, I have to stand up now.

9:11.30 — Phew. Timeout.

9:11: — Belmont's runner with the shot clock running down is no good and Duke gets the ball and there they go oh God if I don't stop typing I'm gonna miss the

9:08 — Wicke's free throws are both magically good, with 2:02 to play. Belmont 70-69.

9:07 — That was a mildly important series of events. Belmont's Andy Wicke three from the corner tightened the Duke lead to just one point, followed by a foul on Duke at the other end on the rebound.

9:02 — Duke's lead is 67-64 with three minutes to play. Even though the Bruins have possession coming out of this TV timeout, I'm not feeling the upset. Then again, upsets aren't felt through fuzzy cable TV.

8:59 — Paulus saved the loose ball, but I'm fairly certain his foot was squarely out of bounds when he tipped the ball back. Then again, my TV reception's snowier than Nunavut.

8:58 — Belmont's Alex Renfroe makes a good running jumper, don't get me wrong, but the analyst's label of "a superstar in the making" might be overdoing it. "The transfer from NAIA." See, that's why I don't believe you.

8:57 — Winthrop, by the way, is getting hickory smoked by Washington State. They're down 56-34.

8:55 — Kyle Singler sorta dove and took out Justin Hare's legs. I'd like to see the referee interpret that with hand signals to the official scorekeeper.

8:52 — Oof. Scheyer made the three-point shot and got fouled while doing so. His potential fourth point dinks off the rim.

8:49 — Texas A&M and BYU looks kind of interesting, too. But before I go jinxin' the coverage, let's just stay right here. Duke leads 60-58.

8:47 — Great symbolism on that Avodart commercial with the guy who works in the museum of planets. Shrinking planets, shrinking prostate. You'd think a guy who works with hanging balls would hock a different kind of male prescription pill.

8:42.05: — So, as SOON as that was typed, they moved me to that game. Just in time to catch Belmont's smatterings of offensive rebounds and Duke dropping a defensive snag, only to see it roll out of bounds.

8:42 — About damn time on that update, Gumbel. Belmont's now leading Duke. Now, instead of update, how's about a little switcheroo on this ol' coverage?

8:39 — Taj McCullough finally puts the Eagles on the scoreboard for this half. On a three-on-one fastbreak, his phantom fake absolutely joked the defender out of his shoes and finished the break with a slam dunk. State responds with a ho-hum jumper.

8:37 — Winthrop cannot score this half. The more WSU pulls away, the more I'd like this local affiliate to do the same with this game, and send me on over to Duke-Belmont. I can't watch Bruins-Devils unless I want to watch hockey.

8:32 — [metaphorical Deadspin score update jingle] Duke can't shake Belmont, as they're up by six points, and Kansas State's 10 point lead has been hacked down to four by USC. Is it me, or does this game simply not feel like an upset in the making?

8:31 — Winthrop's moving the ball well, except the one movement where it goes toward the basket. They still trail 36-29 after a missed jumper.

8:27 — Wait, Derrick Low's the ponytail guy? I thought he was the goatee guy. This puts a 5 percent different perspective on the second half.

8:23 — Know what I just noticed about Winthrop's logo? Its hollow body could make it a distant aviary cousin of BGSU's logo. Digging up the genealogy might be worth it. (I didn't say what I noticed was important.)

8:06 — They're showing A&M and BYU now, but the other ones are at halftime as well. Duke has a 7 point lead over the Bel Monte Pineapples, and Kansas State has 10 more of those point thingies than USC does. We'll see if that gives them an advantage in the final point totals. But for now, here's a halftime distraction video:

8:03 — And .. halftime. I'd love to throw up one of my patented linescores, but, well, the redesign completely fucked that ability up. Winthrop and Washington State are tied 29-29.

8:01 — Texas A&M and BYU began a while back. I felt that was worth mentioning.

7:58 — Snazzy little alley-oop from Taylor Rochestie to Derrick Low. It's impressive to see a guy like Derrick Low able to get up and down the court like that, especially given that he's supposed to be in Dodgertown right now.

7:57: — Winthrop and Washington State are trading threes. Which is silly, because they could just keep their own threes and eliminate any odds of an imbalanced trade.

7:51 — "He's one of those guys that defies categorization." But Mr. Analyst, I have to check one of these boxes! Swingman? Spot shooter? Give me something to work with here.

7:49 — Britney Spears will be a guest on How I Met Your Mother. This is a great idea ten years ago. (Yes, it was 1998 when Spears released her first single. She's been around that long.)

7:44 — Winthrop takes its sweet time, and Chris Gaynor throws up a marginally long 3-point shot as the shot clock ran out of juice, to much success. Eagles lead.

7:40 — Belmont is hanging with Duke, down just one single point. Again, that's one of those upsets that would vaginally rape my bracket, but if it were to happen, it'd be worth the loss of face in the office pool.

7:39 — A non-jingle update from Kansas State-USC. There's a detectable tone of disappointment that the game isn't about Beasley vs. Mayo. Evidently they also let eight other guys to suit up and be on the basketball court at the same time. (A last-minute rule change)

7:36 — And Kyle Weaver's jump shot teases the net and lands on the baseline without touching the rim. And now for Winthrop fans to quickly remember which player took that shot, and ridicule him for the rest of the night, provided they got the right guy. (It was No. 25, I think.)

7:33 — Impressive block by Winthrop's ... fine, I'll look it up ... Andy Beuchert. He also hustled back down the field and sank the shortest possible jump shot.

7:25 — A guy for Winthrop in the post fails to keep control of his dribble when he, all of a sudden, falls on his ass.

7:23 — Thank you, teams, for not putting names on the backs of your jerseys. Who cares who's who?

7:21 — Hey, did I say Kansas State/USC? I meant Washington State/Winthrop. "Tony Bennett looks like a young Jean-Claude Van Damme." I'm hoping for just as much contrived action out of this game.

7:20 — One of the new features of this Gawker Media upgrade is that if it's my turn to draft in fantasy baseball, and I have a Deadspin post window open, Firefox will crash. Sheesh, even my real job doesn't monitor my productivity like that. So screw the draft.

7:18 — I'm rather glad that UPS whiteboard guy didn't sell out and get the haircut like his corporate overlords wanted him to.

7:16 — And the score is now ... hold on, let us wait for this quaint local news ticker to finish scrolling.

7:11 — I noticed that Belmont has a 3-0 lead on the Dukesters. That'll happen when you get the opening kickoff and drive at least 50 yards.

7:10 — Look'n like I get Kansas State/USC. So that's what gets discussed. I'd get NCAA's on demand service, but given the amount of buffering, I could do a charcoal painting flipbook faster.

7:07 — Duke/Belmont and Kansas State/USC are the 7:10 games. Beasley! Mayo! Um ... some white guy for Duke! And ... Castlevania.

Pregame Babble

On mutually exclusive weeks I agreed to both live blog some tournament games for Deadspin as well as partake in Kissing Suzy Kolber's fantasy baseball draft. (If they know jack shit about football, imagine how much less they know about baseball!) What I didn't expect to happen was for the days and times to overlap. What's worse, after the games, tonight I have a meeting with a TV executive about my own children's show at the same restaurant as my ex-wife's birthday party. At the same restaurant. Think of the comic misunderstandings that will unfold. THINK OF THEM!

As for the games, I can't remember who I picked, because customarily after I'm done filling out the bracket, I throw away the runes.

And OH MY GOD. The CBS in my hotel room is all ... bendy. Squiggly lines, everywhere. And yet ... the CBS update jingle will come in crystal clear. This is how it's gonna be all night.

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4:44: Let's see. UNLV is up by 21, Pittsburgh by 23 and Purdue by 20. And this game is officially over. So do we wrap up the live blog? We say yes. We'll try again tomorrow. We hope you can see it.

4:42: And no sooner do we get excited ... and then Kentucky turns the ball over, and this game is done.

4:41: Another three for Kentucky after two Marquette free throws makes it a two-point game. FINALLY. Something worth watching today.

4:36: Holy crap: Joe Crawford has the NBA Jam hot flame shit thing going now. He hits a double-clutch 3-pointer to bring Kentucky within three with less than a minute left. That's 33 points for him. Even if Kentucky loses, can we let him keep playing?

4:32: Actually, Joani Crean, Tom's wife, is more attractive than any of the Kentucky cheerleaders. She kind of has an Amanda Peet vibe going.

4:31: Kentucky won't give! Are they still playing the rest of the games? By the way, we would have thought Kentucky's cheerleaders would be hotter.

4:30: As our man Raftery might say ... THE DAGGER. Jerome McNeil hits a fadeaway as the shotclock runs out. Marquette by eight with 2:11 to go. Which is probably gonna do it.

4:28: And just like that Joe Crawford almost gets three the hard way, which gives him 30. Heavens. Wildcats down by six.

4:27: Marquette might be pulling away: They're now up by 8 with three minutes to go. Bilas sounds disappointed. We know how he feels.

4:21: Wildcats within three with five minutes left. Without Mr. Patterson (prominently featured in God Save The Fan, by the way.) Will we — LO! — actually have a close finish today?

4:17: We're just gonna be doing this Kentucky game now, because every other game is 20 points plus. Just to make us crazy, Kentucky doesn't get a shot off in 35 seconds. We are not seeing the most beautiful basketball right now.

4:11: Kentucky is doing everything in their power to keep hanging around: Joe Crawford just hit another three, and now he has 28 points. The rest of the team: 21. They're down by five. Somebody check on Kige!

4:07: Best graphic of this game: Bradley/Crawford: 35 points. Rest of Kentucky Wildcats: 8. And Bradley just picked up his fourth foul. This is not going to end well.

4:04: Kentucky needs to keep this close, or this whole afternoon is going to be a bust. The closest game right now is 18 points.

4:02: You know, everyone in the Gatorade commercial is spraying that shit all over their face. That has to be sticky.

3:58: So wait, the bald guy in the Sonic cinnasnack commercial is supposed to be married to that lady in the car? Right.

3:54: You really have to look at the stats of this Kent State game. They are:

*** 5-of-24 from the field.
*** 0-of-7 from 3-point range.
*** 0-of-2 from the free throw line.
*** in danger of setting the all time tournament record for turnovers. (They have 17 so far.)

UNLV isn't even playing that well — they're shooting 33 percent — and they're up by 21. Crazy.

3:46: This Joe Crawford fellow for Kentucky is awfully fun to watch; he has 19 of Kentucky's 36 points, and that game is tied. Which is good, because it's the only game worth watching right now.

3:43: And here we are again, with a ring of blowouts. Pittsburgh by 21, Purdue by 13, and UNLV up 31-10 at halftime. No underdogs to root for here, unless you're counting Kentucky. And we really can't ever count Kentucky as an underdog, ever.

3:40: Sorry: Drew Neitzel sometimes reminds us of Powder. It's true.

3:38: How bad is the Pitt game getting? The Panthers are on an 18-0 run right now. They're up 15. Purdue is hammering Baylor too. What'd we tell you about the Big Ten?

3:34: Man. This Pitt game is getting out of hand. They're now up by 11. But the UNLV game is beyond brutal. Not a good day for the MAC there.

3:31: Just because Roger Federer, Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods are promoting a razor called "Phenom," you cannot, in fact, call them "phenoms." They're dominant forces in their sports. And "dominant forces" is a better name for a razor anyway.

3:28: Pittsburgh starting to pull away a little bit from Oral Roberts, but we have faith in those evangelists. UNLV is crushign Kent. With 3:45 left in the first half, the Golden Flashes have eight points. (And 14 turnovers.) We're sure that one's a blast to watch.

3:25: We hope everyone is enjoying Big Daddy Drew's column ... if you happen to catch it in one of the rare moments it hasn't disappeared from the site. WHAT A DAY.

3:21: Anybody watching the March Madness On Demand is officially encouraged to check out the halftime show. It's what the CBS halftime show would look like if it were staged by the AV Club from Rushmore.

3:19: UNLV is all over Kent State. Long live the unibrow! Kentucky is hanging around Marquette. We repeat: The Big Ten is going 4-0 in the first round. Baylor, as likable as they are, is down by two early.

3:14: Gus Johnson insults millions of Americans. "He didn't go to junior college because he wasn't smart. He went because no one else wanted him to play." The rest of you morons who went to junior college ... WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

3:12: Lest we forget: KATHIE LEE GIFFORD went to Oral Roberts. No wonder Frank cheated on her.

3:11: What are the odds that Oral Roberts himself has ever met a single one of his players? One assumes constant admonitions of "If you lose this game, the Lord will take you" would prove demoralizing.

3:07: Another cool thing about Oral Roberts? Their leading scorer is Robert Jarvis, who is 5-foot-10 and comes off the bench. Love guys like that.

3:05: The local game in NYC is Pittsburgh-Oral Roberts. Gus Johnson, Oral Roberts. What more could a growing boy ask? (Other than, you know, the freaking site to work on one of the biggest sports days of the year.)

3:03: Of all the 8-9 games, there seemed to be the largest consensus on the UNLV-Kent State game. People loved the Golden Flashes. But they're down 9-2 early. Still: Go Oral Roberts.

2:58: The UNLV game has tipped off, and we are reminded how much we love Lon Kruger's unibrow. We were actually at the Daily Illini when Kruger was hired by Illinois, and he amazed us in his first interview by not knowing that Illinois had a Chief controversy. That was awesome. He was totally prepared.

2:55: We don't know why Jay Bilas doesn't do more regular broadcasting analysis during the year. We really do like him. We bet CBS never lets him do a Duke game, though.

2:53: Hey. Look. The site is updating. It's amazing what modern technology can do for humanity, when prodded. Anyway, Kentucky looks awfully undermatched against Marquette. We're just waiting for the Oral Roberts game anyway.

2:42: The Kentucky game has tipped off. WE ARE SO EXCITED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH THIS INFORMATION THAT YOU CANNOT SEE.

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2:33: So, Georgia lost. Because we're morons, we're gonna go ahead and try to live blog the 2:30 games too. Why? We have no idea. Argh. Argh. Argh.

2:27: OK, well, THAT WAS FUN. Since we left you, Kansas blew out Portland State, Michigan State mostly pulled away from Temple and Georgia is down by three with a minute-plus left. But you know this, because you're not stupid enough to get tournament updates from a site that can't get its servers in gear.

1:18: Honestly, continuing to update this live blog when not a single human being can see it is one of the dumber things we've done in our lifetime. And we've done quite a few dumb things.

1:15: Georgia is up by nine at halftime, Michigan State is up by 12 with two minutes left in the first half and Kansas is killing Portland State. And we are bashing our face against the wall. Thanks, Nibbles: We now have three completely useless computers.

1:08: True Gawker Media Server Down Related Confessions: We once urinated on the bed of a roommate who made us angry. We are not proud.

1:05: Michigan State is making a nice little statement for the Big Ten with a 11-point lead on Temple. The Big Ten got a bum wrap this year, in our opinion. It was top heavy, but those top teams aren't bad at all. We think they'll go 4-0 in the first round.

12:59: Tell us again how Gus Johnson supposedly isn't loved by CBS? They're actually using his Gonzaga SCREEEEEEEEEAM in their house ads.

12:54: More Gawker Server Down Related Confessions: We're a raging heroin addict.

12:50: Fun fact: Barack Obama won the Senate NCAA pool last year. He likes North Carolina this year. Of course he does.

12:46: You can say "dillweed" on commercials? Nice. Oh, and now Motorhead is showing up in AT&T commercial. Oh, Lemmy, man ... Lemmy.

12:45: Georgia is still up on Xavier. Let's not forget how Xavier probably should have beat Ohio State last year. They'd be devastated by a loss here, but nothing can quite compare to losing to an instate rival on some questionable calls. We're surprised they have the stomach to even watch basketball this year, after that.

12:41: Since the site is down, and no one can see this, time for confessions: We once killed a drifter! We cry when we watch Terms Of Endearment! Sometimes we just need to be held!

12:39: We're told the site is down right now. WHICH IS AWESOME.

12:37: From all accounts, the March Madness On Demand thing seems to be working OK, though there are some audio problems. If they don't start charging for that in the next five years, we will be flabbergasted.

12:35: Some credit for Tom Izzo. When he came to Michigan State way back in the day, we thought it would be a stepping stone job until he got to take over Kansas or something. He's now been in East Lansing for 13 years. That said, this year might be his worst coaching job. This Spartans team is as talented as any they've had since the national title team, but they just never put it together. They're down 7-6 right now to the Owls.

12:33: So much for that Kansas update: They're already up 11-3. These Vikings need a sex boat, stat.

12:31: Hello, Gus Johnson! How popular is Gus becoming? The freaking New Republic is writing odes to the guy. What, do they think he's Obama or something? He's got the Temple-Michigan State game, which means he'll have the Oral Roberts upset later. That should be fun.

12:29: The Kansas-Portland State game has tipped off. We've accepted that we're never going to get a 16 seed beat a 1 seed, but if it's gonna happen this year, it'll be this game. At the first TV timeout, by the way, Georgia is up 9-8. Clearly, that game's over.

12:25: We had a question about the three computers. Trust us: These are not quality computers. One of them actually runs on AA batteries, and requires BASIC programming.

12:22: We have a Bolerjack sighting. The man is sultry. Xavier is one of those teams people keep telling us the world is "sleeping on." They're already up 5-0, so clearly this will be a shutout.

12:21: The Georgia-Xavier game is tipping off. There's no way this happens, but if Georgia keeps this ridiculous run going and wins the NCAA tournament, the sports planet will implode. They should make them play all six games in one day.

More pregame: Talking babies will never, ever make us want to buy your product. Ever.

Also, it's nice to see the fiction that one of those guys from the Sonic hamburger ads could possibly have a girl in the car. Television reflects our dreams.

Pregame: We have three computers in the room right now, and then the regular game on our crappy, non-HD television. The early game we're most excited about it Xavier-Georgia, even though we have a feeling the Musketeers are gonna kill them. Will the Bulldogs still fire their coach if that happens?

By the way, Seth Davis is sporting his yearly visible erection. The guy loves his college basketball.

Anyway: MJD's back to bring you the funk and facts. Here are the games slated:

• Notre Dame Vs. Winthrop
• Tennessee Vs. Long Beach State
• Wisconsin Vs. Texas A&M Corpus Christi
• Nevada Vs. Creighton

After the jump, the live blog begins ... if you can handle it.

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5:35: Alright, that's gonna be it for today. Thanks for sticking with me... or trying to, anyway, when the damn site went down. I'll be back tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen. Do some drugs tonight.

5:33: And it does. I kinda feel bad for Creighton... they're an excellent team, and they always seem to get tough draws in the tournament. Dana Altman looks genuinely pissed off right now. I don't know if he's married, but that's the look of a man who's about to punch his wife in the stomach.

5:31: Five-point lead now for Nevada, under 30 seconds to play... Creighton gets the bucket, but it took them seventeen seconds. 11 seconds left, lead is three, Nevada going to the line. If he hits one, I think Marcellus Kemp puts this on on ice for the Wolfpack.

5:29: Ramon Sessions is a wizard. He works the dribble at the top of the key, comes off the screen, gets the matchup he wants against a big, he goes after him, takes it to the room, and forces in an off-balance shot off the glass. Surgical. That was some Steve Nash work right there.

5:28: Wisconsin has a 10-point lead with under 2:00 to go. We're closing the book on that one. I realize that this is irrational, but I'm mad at Wisconsin. I feel like everyone should want the underdog to win, including the team that's playing against them. Selfish fucks, the Badgers.

5:26: Creighton's gone cold. Nate Funk misses from the top of the key, and he appears to be the only one Dana Altman wants to touch the ball. Ramon Sessions answers with a little floater and pushes the lead to six.

5:21: Shotmaking. Marcellus Kemp sticks a three for Nevada, giving them a 4-point lead. Nick Fazekas is called for a foul at the other end... and that'll be the end of the day (and perhaps college career) for Fazekas. Kind of a tough call, but he definitely reached, and he definitely got some hand. Sorry, Zeke. You're done.

5:18: Back to Wisconsin and the Islanders ... the news is not good. It's not a lost cause or anything, but Wisconsin leads by five, and they've dominated the second half. 3:42 to play. I guess that one was too good to be true.

5:15: The prayer misses, and we're heading to overtime.

5:12: And Nevada comes out of the timeout and turns it over. Nate Frunk with the ball for the Jays... he has it stripped, can't get a shot up, and there's a heap of bodies underneath the basket with no call in the lane. Nevada grabs the ball, and they call a timeout with 1.4 on the clock.

5:11: Verne Lundquist: "It's irrelevant to this point in the game, but Dana Altman and Mark Fox both graduated from New Mexico State University." Irrelevant to all points of the game, I believe, Verne, but thanks anyway.

5:07: Nevada, with the game tied, goes inside to Marcellus Kemp... he can't get it to go, but Nevada brings down the rebound. Tense. Fazekas open for three, and another long rebound goes to Nevada. Fortunate break there. 36.3 left, 32 on the shot clock when they take the timeout.

5:03: Creighton/Nevada's been close throughout, and for all I know, was the best game of the entire tournament. Creighton has a 2-point lead with 3:00 to play. I feel like a dick for ignoring this one. I'll get you in the next round, boys.

5:01: CBS keeps going in and out of HD... I'm going to have to visit an optometrist right after this game.

4:59: 8-0 run for Wisconsin, and they're in the lead for the first time today. Scooby Johnson's at the line, though, and he ties it up, but Wisconsin answers with a three... they can't miss right now.

4:55: Back-to-back three balls for Wisconsin, and they're to within three... they haven't been that close in the entire game. And... fuck. The game is now tied. Come on, Islanders, you've got a nation depending on you. Still 10:15 to play.

4:50: John Cougar Mellencamp has the words of the French national anthem tattooed across his abs.

4:49: We're back in HD on CBS, by the way. Momentarily, anyway. Corpus Christi is back to a 7-point lead, and the take possession on a shot clock violation by the Badgers.

4:47: That Chevy commercial, by the way, is advertising a truck called the Chevy Silverado "HD." I didn't know trucks came in high-definition. Is the speedometer a video image of Dick Enberg saying, "Oh my! You're going 71 miles per hour!"?

4:45: John Cougar Mellencamp masturbates while watching professional wrestling.

4:44: Oh, man... mini-run for Wisconsin. Daniels, the big fella for Corpus Christi, is out with foul trouble, and the Badgers are taking advantage. They've cut the lead to four. Come on, Corpus Christi, you've got an entire proud Island to represent, as evidenced by the Hawaiian shirts worn by your band.

4:43: It took until now for CBS's HD coverage to give out. Corpus Christi leads by 9, but they do so with less sharpness and detail.

4:40: Clark Kellogg describes Nate Funk's scoring total as being in "mid double digits." Personally, I'd have just said "sixteen." But I'm not as eloquent as Clark Kellogg.

4:33: Wisconsin's cut the lead to 7 on a three-ball from Bohannon... and then Wisconsin picks up a technical foul because Stiemsma was a big meanie to the official. That's smart. The lead is back to 9 and the Islanders have the ball.

4:29: The next game to end will be Tennessee/Long Beach. It will not end well for Long Beach. Creighton and Nevada are playing a game that's been close throughout, and there are about 16:00 to play in that one. Wisconsin vs. Corpus Christi has just gotten back underway, too ... we've still got a full half of basketball to go here.

4:28: 18.9 seconds remaining, Winthrop leads by 10, and we're done here. Eleven seeds have giant balls, and I wouldn't want to play Winthrop in the next round.

4:26: Missed three for Notre Dame, Winthrop runs, Notre Dame cant get the foul, and it's a dunk. It's a six-point lead... ND misses another three, Winthrop runs again, and this time they foul. They're going to the line, up 6, with 36 seconds to play. We can almost chalk this one up. Ian Eagle's so excited that he's about to cover someone in man jam.

4:22: Three ball for Winthrop and the lead is now 4. A Notre Dame free throw cuts it to three... and Notre Dame gets called for a pretty weak blocking violation. Looked like a charge to me, and the whistle came extremely late.

4:20: 2:30 left to play in the ND/Winthrop game. ND goes to Harangody in the post, and it's a little jumphook off the glass, with the and-one. Notre Dame leads by a point, which would be better news if they could stop giving up uncontested lay-ups for Winthrop. Winthrop back up by 1.

4:15: One point game... Winthrop goes inside, Craig Bradshaw off the glass, AND ONE. That fouls Rob Kurz out, too... that's big. They've had Kurz back as their last line of defense on their press. This game has fantastic energy. It finally feels like some tournament-quality ball is being played.

4:14: Winthrop breaks the ND press and gets a dunk out of it. Ian Eagle: "THAT'S A MAN JAM!" And then Spanarkel goes, "I'll show you some man jam." And Eagle says, "Put that thing away!" Except these last two sentences didn't really happen.

4:10: And Notre Dame is back to within 6 on a Colin Falls floater in the lane. I guess Notre Dame's too good of a team to let this be a complete blowout. Falls again for three... and the lead is 4. I like the way things are shaping up here.

4:08: Booooo. Wisconsin gets a run-out dunk to close the half, and they've sliced the Islander lead to 8. Bo Ryan kind of scares me when he's smiling. What's going to happen in that Wisconsin locker room at halftime could scar those poor kids for life.

4:03: Notre Dame's cut Winthrop's lead to 10 with 8:00 to play in the game. I'm gonna check back in with that one for a little bit. Great ... I love it when CBS switches your game, and then that game goes directly to a commercial. Not annoying at all.

4:01: Alando Tucker gets on the board for the first time today, bringing the Badgers back to within 12. Timeout, Islanders to stem the momentum change... I like the call, coach, you'd hate to see the Badgers go on a run and cut this lead to single digits.

3:54: Creighton/Nevada, meanwhile, is tied at 25 with about 3:00 to play in the first half. I've completely ignored that game, when it was one of the games to which I was really looking forward in the tournament. But I'm sorry, I can't disrespect the Islanders like that.

3:50: Spanarkel says Mike Brey is looking for something to spark his team. I think he should gather them in a huddle and tell them the story about how he was snubbed for an Oscar nomination for Sideways, but then went on to do great things in Cinderella Man. That always gets me fired up.

3:49: Same goes for Winthrop. I don't know that there are too many teams in the country that Winthrop couldn't at least hang with. They lead 54-34.

3:48: This Corpus Christi big man... he is the manliest man on the floor. This doesn't look like some fluke happening that's eventually going to correct itself.

3:45: Rejection. Wisconsin tries to bring that weak tot action against Corpus Christi, and it gets sent back. 23-7, Wisconsin calls timeout, and Bo Ryan looks weirder and more uncomfortable than Bo Ryan usually looks.

3:43: Wisconsin, meanwhile, is on pace to score about 14 points. It's 19-4, Islanders, 9:00 to play in the first half.

3:41: Winthrop isn't just winning, they're beating that Irish ass. They're on a 29-6 run right now, stretching back to the first half. It's 52-34. They can't miss. The coolest thing about it is that every Winthrop player looks like this is exactly what they expected to happen. Bad-asses.

3:35: And the lead is now eleven for Winthrop, and at the same time, Corpus Christi has extended their lead over Wisconsin to 13. Wisconsin has scored, though, eliminating the possibility of the shutout.

3:30: Winthrop and Notre Dame are back from the half, and they open things up with a beautiful cut and dish for the lay-up. Notre Dame is 1-of-12 from behind the three-point line. Winthrop pushes their lead to 8. Yeeee-Ha...

3:25: At the first 4:00 commercial break of the first half, Wisconsin still hasn't scored. I'm calling it, Texas A&M will play Texas A&M Corpus Christi in the championship game, and the Islanders will finally earn the respect they deserve.

3:23: Long Beach closes to within six with some hot shooting and some defensive pressure. 4:10 left in the first half of that one.

3:20: CORPUS CHRISTI IS ON FIRE. The Islanders lead Wisconsin 7-0, another three is in the air... TEN TO NOTHING, ISLANDERS. Holy fuck. The official pep band for the corpse of Christ is decked out in Hawaiian shirts. You gotta love that. Here we go, baby... now it feels like the tournament.

3:17: Long Beach has stabilized a little bit, or at least, they're not getting their asses whooped with quite as much a they were before. They've cut the lead to 10.

3:14: And Winthrop takes the lead on a three... and now they'll hold for the final shot of the half. Another three. 32-28, Winthrop is in the lead, going into the half. Outstanding. I actually wouldn't consider this one a huge upset; Winthrop's a pretty damn good team. But today, I'll take it.

3:11: Mike Brey reminds me a lot of Paul Giamatti. I think if Paul Giamatti was an NCAA head coach, he'd wear a blazer over a muck turtleneck.

3:06: Long Beach and Tennessee, meanwhile, are not tied up. That one's over. It's 31-14. Tennessee is on pace to score about 130.

3:04: Notre Dame leads by 4 after Bradshaw hits a three for Winthrop. And then they cut it to two, on a strong take to the rack on the break. 26-24, Winthrop is rolling.

3:05: And they tie it up on sort of a lucky little turnaround blind chuck at the rim. I think he walked, too. But fuck it, Winthrop and Notre Dame are tied up, and I'm excited about it.

3:00Tennessee scores on a lay-up... then they steal the inbounds pass, and get another lay-up. The subsequent inbounds pass is trapped in the corner, forcing Long Beach to call a timeout. Not a pleasant sequence for Long Beach. Snoop Dogg can't be enjoying himself right now.

2:59: I couldn't for the life of me explain why Hanes decided to dust off these Michael Jordan/Kevin Bacon commercials. Was the general public clamoring for more of the Bacon/Jordan collaboration?

2:47: Hello, college basketball and/or Deadspin liveblog fans. Eventually, we're going to have a decent basketball game here... I think Notre Dame/Winthrop is a pretty solid contender for quality entertainment. Long Beach vs. Tennessee is underway, along with ND/Winthrop. The other two games start at 3:14 and 3:20.

2:51: Tennessee leads 14-8 with 16:46 left to play in the first half, and Notre Dame leads Memphis 15-12 with under 12:00 to play in the first half there. You're all caught up now.

• Virginia Vs. Albany
• UNLV Vs. Georgia Tech
• Memphis Vs. North Texas

You're in for a treat today, because today's live blogger is the absolute best in the business, the great The Mighty MJD. (Seriously: The guy's making it an art form. Though no pressure!) Enjoy the first setup of games here ... and go Great Danes!

After the jump, the live blog begins.

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2:45: Alright, we're closing the book on the first batch of games, and we're labeling it another disappointment. We'll see you in the other thread, momentarily.

2:43: Meanwhile, with 1:50 to play, Memphis is going to the line with an 11-point lead. I think we can safely chalk that one up, too.

2:42: Just to put the exclamation point on their outstandingly poor effort today, Georgia Tech turns it over on the ensuing inbounds pass. UNLV is your winner, 67-63. That game was an eyesore.

2:39: Tech gets a quick two, and they're now in foul-mode. They put an 83% shooter on the line, and he makes both. Crittenton penetrates, shot is blocked, and he loses it out of bounds. 4-point lead, 12.2 seconds, good free throw shooter on the line... I'm chalking it up.

2:37: UNLV leads by four now with 36.6 to play. North Texas, meanwhile, had closed the lead back to within 10, but Memphis pushed it back to 11. 3:32 to play in that one. Notre Dame and Memphis has just tipped, too.

2:33: The free throw is bricked, though, and Georgia Tech does manage to get a rebound ... HOWEVA. Wink Adams on the defense for UNLV forces a 5-second call on Georgia Tech, just by harassing his man all over the court. You don't see that call very often. Georgia Tech has much to be embarrassed about today.

2:32: And now Georiga Tech gives the and-one. Ouch. Kind of a weak call on Aminu there.

2:30: Huuuuge offensive rebound for UNLV... and another one. And another one, with a guy throwing the ball of a Georgia Tech player as he falls out of bounds. Incredible sequence there for the Runnin' Rebs, and pretty embarrassing for Georgia Tech. 59 all, 1:13 to play.

2:27: This game is close, but ... I don't know, it's not that good. It's been ugly, it's been sloppy, and it's not like it's going to be much of an upset if Tech wins. Memphis' lead remains 15, by the way.

2:26: A Georgia Tech guy stands on the perimeter, clapping and demanding the ball. He gets it, and he airballs a three. UNLV takes the lead with a solid drive on the other end, and it's 59-58. 2:19 to play.

2:22: The Mean Green isn't getting any closer, either. It's 55-40 with 8:44 to play. North Texas has a guy in a mask, too, but he's probably not as heroic or as tough (or as PSYCHO!) as Tyler Hansbrough.

2:20: Javaris Crittenton is keeping Georgia Tech alive here... they trail by three, Crittenton leads a break, tosses an over-the-shoulder pass to a teammate, and it's a 1-point game. It's an amazing turnaround from Crittenton, who spent the first half of this game playing like he was on quaaludes. Under 4:00 to play.

2:17: The UVA/Albany game has gone final ... 84-57 was the final count. Thanks for coming, Great Danes.

2:12: Hey, Michael Jordan's in the house for the Georgia Tech/UNLV game. If he's scouting, he's finding a lot of players who would fit in well with the 24-41 Bobcats.

2:09: And at the same time, Memphis has extended their lead to 13 over North Texas. The Mean Green's fought hard and played well, but... Memphis's athleticism is just too much. They can keep pace in stretches, but they can't stop Memphis from going on these runs every so often. Thanks for trying, though, Mean Green. I appreciate it. No one else is interested in entertaining us today.

2:08: It really is a shame that someone has to win this Georgia Tech/UNLV game. UNLV has opened up a 6-point lead with 7:59 to play.

2:02: North Texas continues to hang around... trailing by 6, they get a fast break, and a guy blows a dunk because he tired to tomahawk the shit out of it. Ouch. Costly.

2:01: John Cougar Mellencamp killed Anna Nicole Smith.

1:58: Wink Adams throws an elbow during a tie-up for the ball ... that's what this tournament needs, a giant, fist-swinging, blood-soaked brawl. We're tied at 44.

1:56: A Georgia Tech player (sorry, they don't have names on the back of their jerseys, and I don't watch a lot of Georgia Tech basketball, thank Christ) blows an uncontested lay-up, and someone in the CBS truck was asleep when he yelled "fuck."

1:51: And Georgia Tech's battled back to tie things up at 40. I'm being switched to that game.

1:50: Quick spin move, and a twisting lay-up high off the glass for Memphis... nasty. I'm guessing that no one on the North Texas roster can do that.

1:48: Memphis vs. Mean Green is back from the half. CBS came back with a shot of the pep band, and I thought for a second that today was St. Patrick's Day.

1:45: You know, in all the time I spend watching sports on CBS... NFL regular season, college basketball on the weekends, and now the tournament all day long... I don't think I've ever seen a promo for a CBS sitcom that ever made me laugh. Not once.

1:42: Unbelievable stat: UVA and Albany have the same mount of field goal attempts. Someone should tell Albany they're allowed to shoot with their eyes open.

1:38: I know I'm not seeing Albany's best effort here, and I'm sure they played a lot of fine ball during the regular season, but ... I'm 100% certain that I could find more athletic-looking intramural teams at most universities in the country right now. I'm not kidding. They look more like a really tall Quiz Bowl team than a college basketball team. I'm not quite sure how they weren't a 16-seed.

1:33: Albany's head coach is apparently going to watch most of this game from a squatting position. It's probably a good thing they won't be advancing; he'd have the knees of Jake Taylor before the weekend was out. The poor man looks like he's about to cry. 58-30, Virginia.

1:31: If you had any illusions about a Great Dane comeback, the Virginia Cavaliers would like to destroy those for you. They open up the second half with a 5-0 run.

1:26: And that's how we'll go to the half... 37-28 Memphis. No game is all that close, and the closest one has been Popeye Jones ugly. The highlight of the day so far has been this Masters commercial, reliving the legendarily awkward high-five between Tiger Woods and caddy Steve Williams on the 16th green.

1:24: Two turnovers, a three-ball, some penetration, an alley-oop on the run out, and Memphis leads by 9. And an unforced traveling violation on a North Texas guy committed while no one was touching him. Things are unraveling.

1:22: God dammit, Memphis has opened up a five point lead here. Time out, Mean Green.

1:21: Just to keep you posted, Albany is down 45-25 at the half, and Georgia Tech's gotten it together a little bit, and amazingly, they're going into the half down just seven. That's not good for UNLV. Tech can't possibly be that bad again in the 2nd half.

1:16: Yikes... Memphis is 324th in the NCAA in free-throw shooting? Did I hear that correctly, Verne Lundquist? That's embarrassing, Calipari. 28-all, 4:00 to play in the half.

1:13: And finally, the switch to North Texas/Memphis... and bonus, it's being called by Bill Raftery.

1:11: North Texas leads by three, with 5:25 left to play in the first half. Meanwhile, I'm stuck watching an 14-point game featuring at least one team that is as competent and well-organized as Dunder Mifflin.

1:07: Packer again on Tech: "Every pass is like an experience, and in many cases, negative."

1:05: Billy Packer says Georgia Tech has "no direction offensively." That's being pretty generous ... another way to say it would be that they look like Stanford, only it's not as funny. They've got 12 points, with 5:00 to play in the first half. I don't know that they've taken a good shot yet.

1:02: 22-10, UNLV. Jason Terry's brother plays for UNLV. I was not aware of this. He wears the #31, and the knee socks, just like his big brother. It's very sweet.

12:58: Dick Vitale Hooters commercial... I was discussing this yesterday, when a friend suggested that Dick was paid for this not in cash, but in breast-fondling gift certificates from the Hooters girls. I told him that Vitale got $500,000 for the V Foundation for doing that (which is true), but I suppose that one does not preclude the other.

12:55: Georgia Tech trails by 11, Albany continues to behave like Albany, and right now, it's all about the Mean Green. Many of you apparently feel the same way, as I can't get that game to load on the MMOD. Albany/UVA plays as smooth as silk, though. I pleasured Gregg Doyel for nothing, apparently.

:12:52<%

Here's the schedule:

• Washington State Vs. Oral Roberts
• Texas A&M Vs. Pennsylvania
• Butler Vs. Old Dominion
• Georgetown Vs. Belmont]

So, stick with us, particularly if you're stuck at work and would desperately like to talk to someone about Belmont.

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5:17: And that's it for the early- and late-afternoon games on Day 1 of Round 1 of the NCAA Tournament! Thanks for sticking with me all day. It's been a ton of fun. Don't forget you can always catch me over at www.danshanoff.com. Enjoy the rest of the Tournament, everyone!

5:15: Continued from the entry before: All I know is that I've gone 7-0 to start a day before (as I will today) — and crashed and burned in the night set. If you pick all the favorites, you will NEVER remain perfect.

So today's 7-0 start for the favorites (and no great finishes) simply makes it THAT much more likely that we'll see some upsets or great finishes soon. Hopefully tonight.

(But if I have any hope of staying perfect, it better be VCU over Duke.)

5:10: As this session of the live-blog winds down (be sure to come back tomorrow afternoon, noon-ish, for MJD goodness!), I don't want it to be as dejected and hopeless as that last live-blog entry makes it seem.

The best news is that the Tournament has a way of evening things out: Like flipping a coin "heads" seven times in a row, you know that at some point, you'll get a "tails."

Similarly, you know — either tonight or tomorrow afternoon or tomorrow night or sometime over this first weekend — there WILL be an upset or a thrilling finish. Most likely, more than a few.

When? Where? To whom? Who knows? But that's where the fun is.

5:05: The Aggies seem to have things in hand, and we're facing a very serious reality: Of seven afternoon games — nearly a quarter of the Tournament's first round — not a single upset happened.

More than that, not a single game had a thrilling finish. When neither of those two things happen, it erodes what makes the Tournament special: Either (a) the Unexpected or (b) the Thrilling.

4:57: And Vandy and GW are underway in the 5 p.m. ET Game That No One Ever Sees. (Unless you're on the West Coast or have CSTV or MMOD.) I always pitied the fans whose teams were put in this game. No buzz whatsoever. And considering that GW has ZERO points at the first TV timeout, probably deserved.)

As a Northwestern alum, I have to root for Vandy, because that's as close as Northwestern is ever going to get to the NCAA Tournament. No, Duke doesn't count. And I would have said Stanford, except even fans of Northwestern — WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN TO THE NCAA TOURNAMENT — don't want to be associated with Stanford right now.

4:49: Just when the nation tunes in, fully attentive, Penn is falling apart — and Texas A&M is turning it on (10-0) run. But this should scare the hell out of anyone (cough!) who has the Aggies going deep in this tournament.

(That's a good question, actually: Couldn't a great team have a particularly tough time against a specific first-round/early-round opponent without actually being as vulnerable, long-term, as that result suggests? Without anything quantitative to point to, it seems like every Final Four team inevitably finds some trouble in at least one first-weekend game.)

4:41: After a day of minimally competitive games, no truly fantastic finishes and zero upsets, we finally have some drama, if only for the moment. I'll take it. This is what we've been sitting around all day for.

With the Butler-ODU and Georgetown-Belmont results both foregone conclusions (and no other games on the afternoon schedule until the classic 5 p.m. ET game no one watches), the entire country settles in to focus on this one game. Let's hope Penn keeps it close enough to keep it interesting.

4:38: We've been talking about this all day, but everytime that "Entourage" DirecTV ad comes on, it's another death knell to that show's cachet. (As if it didn't evaporate a season ago...)

I need Gatorade AM sponsoring my blog. Like now. (Uh, please?)

4:35: Penn is back in it. They've dropped the Butler game to jump to the A&M/Penn game. And Gus Johnson is calling the game! It HAS to have a thrilling ending!

(In case you missed the early-afternoon live-blog, I think Johnson is the best play-by-play guy in the NCAA Tournament. I would pay quite a bit of money to have him call my weekly rec-league game. "Shanoff with the baaaaaaaalllllll.... HE'S GOT IT! THE SLIPPER STILL FITS! THE SLIPPER STILL FITS!")

4:31: Interesting that Butler calls a time-out having earned SO much momentum on those 3s.

AD WATCH: Buffalo Wild Wings is apparently attempting to counter Hooters' positioning as "the place for boobs" with positioning as "the place for dudes watching sports."

ODU is falling apart right before our eyes. Scoreless for four minutes heading into the under-8 timeout...

4:26: Wazzu over Oral is a final. Georgetown is a virtual W over Belmont. Who hasn't lost a game yet? (By the way, that can fall apart SO quickly. Like tonight. Or tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow.

Butler has their biggest lead heading into an ODU timeout.

4:23: AJ Graves' family owns a plubming company. And he "drained" that 3. Groan. That wasn't me; that was the paid TV analyst...

4:21: There has been enough game action to pay attention to that I have restrained myself from blatant self-promotion, like telling you to check out www.danshanoff.com as part of your daily blog rotation. OK, the TV time-out on ODU and Butler is over... back to games...

4:16: OK, we're down to one game that matters in this late-afternoon grouping — Butler and Old Dominion, which has sized up as a toss-up since the moment the bracket pairing was revealed. Will we finally get a game that goes down to the final seconds? Hopefully. (But with both teams as mid-majors, it lacks the oomph of a traditional "small" over "big" — or even 12 over 5 — upset. But who am I kidding? I'll take it.)

4:14: I'm ready to call the Wazzu win over Oral. If Wazzu gets to 65 points, it's a done deal. (And the Cougars have looked really impressive against a pretty damn good Oral team.)

4:11 Stop the presses! Exercise...might keep you from getting sick?!?! No shit!! Tell me more, James Brown! Tell me more, Katie Couric! And they wonder why CBS Evening News performs like Stanford...

4:06: Another annual NCAA Tournament phenomenon. When CBS leaves your locally broadcast game with 15 minutes to go, the game has been "called."

4:05: Roy Hibbert playing against the Belmont players is like that kid in 6th grade who was 6-foot-3 and the rest of us were 5-3. In an analogue, I was shaving that early. (My face, thank you... my face.)

4:01: The crushes on Georgetown's Jeff Green are well-earned. That guy is a joy to watch.

3:55: Why can't some master TV programmer at CBS just flick fans around from game to game? They wouldn't even need to SAY they were doing it — give fans credit that we'd know that we're watching a new game. If I could have one one-day-a-year job (besides live-blogging the Tournament here), I would want to be given free rein over the "live look-in" power.

3:53: Hmm: I ate lunch in front of the TV and three laptops, each open to MMOD... Go figure. (Oh, stop: I kid 'cause I love.)

3:45: And, yes, ODU and Butler combined for less points than Louisville scored in the first half against Stanford. More fodder for the argument that Stanford was the biggest waste of an at-large bid ever.

3:43: I appreciate all of the emails supporting the notion that the "Entourage" guys completely suck for doing that DirecTV ad. Completely. It's over for them.

3:36: Wazzu and Oral are back in play for the second half, a few minutes in. Wazzu has pulled out in front by 7. Meanwhile, ODU and Butler are racing to see if they can combine to score as many points in one half as Louisville had against Stanford.

3:34: We've got Georgetown-Belmont on the local CBS broadcast here. The Hoyas size advantage is tremendous.

3:30: Remember a few years ago, when you couldn't escape that "I'm a Leader, not a Coach" ad for AmEx featuring Coach K? The front-runner for most annoying (and over-played) Coach K ad is that State Farm ad. I asked this in the early-afternoon live-blog, but really: Do I have to pay extra at that K-camp for the sanctimony?

3:24: 14-12 in the Butler-ODU game at the under-8 TV timeout? Yeesh. Makes Wazzu-Oral look run-n-gun.

3:22: OK, so I take it back that me and four guys from a local playground could do better than Belmont. Even though I'm in Brooklyn, it's the wuss, "gruppy" part.

3:18: Oral and Wazzu in a close one at the half. Worth tuning in for, say, the final four minutes. (Or, perhaps, the final two seconds... if they're anything like the end of the first half.)

3:15: And, thanks to that earlier post, Belmont has now decided to shit the bed. I could find four guys at the playground down the street and have better luck on offense.

3:08: Mark it down. March 15, 2007 was the day that "Entourage" officially turned the corner from cool to scholck. Thank you, DirecTV ad.

(Frankly, the show was always overrated — certainly good, but not nearly as good as it's supposed to be. Kind of like Memphis.)

3:07: It is a moral victory that Belmont is tied with Georgetown at the under-12 TV timeout. The coach just earned the right to call a notably better level of recruiting talent.

3:02: Will just brought up a good point (not to jinx things or anything): Would Belmont beating Georgetown be the biggest first-round upset in NCAA Tournament history?

I said YES. There have only been a handful of 15-over-2 upsets anyway, and certainly none of those 2-seeds had as high expectations as this Hoyas team, which is — by far — THE bandwagon Final Four pick of the Tournament.

3:00: Umm... Belmont? No: BEEELLLMMMONNT!!

2:59: From an email I just got: "Perhaps that Stanford performance is karma paying Billy Packer back for being such a whore for the major conferences. I hope he has fun calling Xavier-BYU tonight."

2:57: AD WATCH. I can't believe they recycled those dudes from the last two year's Cingular ads. Wait: Do they know it's AT&T now?

2:55: It's things like a BANKED 3 that make you start to wonder if Belmont can pull off the upset that would absolutely obliterate 90 percent of pools out there. (That's the percentage of all college hoops fans who have jumped on the G'town bandwagon, right?)

2:54: Back to Wazzu/Oral. If you too can remember watching Wazzu coach Tony Bennett playing in the Tournament for UW-GB Fightin' Phoenix, holler. (This is all part of my nostalgia trip today as I consider that it has been 10 years since I managed NCAA Tournament coverage over at ESPN.com as college basketball editor. 10 years... cripes.)

2:51: Can we all agree that Roy Hibbert is Greg Oden when compared to Aaron Gray?

2:49:G'town/Belmont underway! I said this last week during the Big East Tournament. Georgetown's gray uniforms are in the Top 3 for best unis in college basketball.

2:40: Stanford-Louisville is, mercifully, over. Let the debate begin whether Stanford was the worst waste of an at-large bid of all time.

Meanwhile, from Sacramento, when James Brown says "scrumptious," it makes me tingle.

2:35: Welcome to Part 2 of Deadspin's Round 1/Day 1 Live-Blog. I'm Dan Shanoff, formerly of here, now of here. See the previous "12:20 Game" post for all of that live-bloggish goodness, including a Commenter frenzy about the best regional fast-food.

Anyway, Washington State ("Wazzu") and Oral Roberts (uh..."Oral") are underway. Bring on the thrilling "deliberate" style of play!

• Maryland Vs. Davidson
• Boston College Vs. Texas Tech
• Louisville Vs. Stanford

Your live blogger today is Dan Shanoff, whom you might remember from ESPN.com, the Harvard Business School and chatting up redheads at the AJ Daulerio Roast. We're happy to have him here, and his big words of wisdom begin after the jump.

And hey, have fun everybody.

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2:30: Even though Louisville and Stanford have a few minutes to play, it's over. (Even Gus Johnson sounds deflated.) So I'm going to wrap up this early-afternoon portion of the live-blog and encourage you to head on over to the live-blog posts dedicated to the late-afternoon games. See you there!

2:28: Maryland staves off elimination and a spirited effort from Davidson to advance. 20 minutes or so of a break in Buffalo before we get to a super-intriguing 5/12 between Butler and ODU, winner getting the Terps.

2:26: Steffen Curry fouls out. Though 95 percent of fans hadn't heard of him before last week, he's first-team all-Freshmen, along with Durant, Oden, Reynolds and Augustine. (Others?)

2:25: Looks like Maryland is about to seal it up. I have Maryland going to the Sweet 16 (yes, I'm sure you care), so I'm mildly relieved. But really: Wouldn't you rather have seen the 13-quality upset?

Interesting: I couldn't care less to hear about your fantasy baseball draft, but I have limitless patience to listen to the details of your bracket. Anyone else feel similarly?

2:19: This Davidson-Maryland game makes up for the fact that Stanford is in contention for the worst at-large of recent memory.

(What goes into that equation? Being one of the last teams in plus being blown out with a terrible performance in the first round, almost like you didn't even have to bother to show up.)

2:18: Whew. We all now get to watch Maryland-Davidson... just as the game is nearly over. Sweet. How about a last-minute run from Davidson (or, if you're a "half-empty" fan, a last-minute collapse from Maryland)?

2:16: Woohoo! BC beats Texas Tech! 1-0 on my bracket! Who's with me?

2:13: Screw it. I don't care that Texas Tech is still technically in a winnable situation. Give me Maryland-Davidson. Now.

2:06: Like an election night, as games wind down, the challenge is figuring out when to "call it." Like perhaps, when Dudley just hit that turnaround in the lane to put BC up 7.

2:02: Here's an idea — what about picture-in-picture on the TV broadcast, when you've got two close games like we have now, particularly the Maryland-Davidson game, which is out of my broadcast range (and hard to get on MMOD, what with the video feed kicking in and out...)

1:50: Can we simply cancel the rest of the Louisville-Stanford game and save everyone the trouble? The tears of lamentation flowing from Syracuse right now have reached New York City...

1:43: As I sit here watching Davidson upset Maryland (via MMOD), it has only taken an hour and a half to experience one of the annual fundamental questions of Tournament-watching:

If you picked Maryland to win this game, would you rather (1) Be Right (as a Bracket-picker), or (2) See the Upset (as a college hoops fan)?

Does it matter how far you have Maryland going? I mean, if you have the Terps going out in Round 2 or the Sweet 16 anyway, would you give up those bracket-pool points to see a 13-seed upset win? (As opposed to having Maryland in, say, the Final Four, where you might be forgiven for rooting against Davidson.)

Is there the equivalent of the NFL coach "2-point conversion" chart to figure out how far you have to have a favorite going before you can root against a great upset? I think perhaps your personal bracket fortunes simply aren't important enough to root against upsets that make the Tournament so great.

1:38: Davidson! Pool-wrecker! Blazing start to the second half! (It's nearly time to start asking who had Davidson winning...and who is the Deadspin reader who had Maryland going the farthest?

Oh, calm down: I said "Nearly."

1:32: Obviously, Jared Dudley is tougher than Tyler Hansbrough, because his face didn't come apart on a hard foul to the basket. On the other hand, the foul wasn't intentional like Henderson's was. Say this for Bobby Knight-coached teams: They know how to hard-foul without intentionally fouling. Classy!

1:28: BC-TX Tech is back on. Headbands as a total team effort: Thoughts? I appreciate the whole "solidarity" thing, but some people can't pull it of... I'm looking at you... Roche....

1:26: "Hills Have Eyes 2: Electric Buglaoo." Yeesh, gruesome ad. Any minute now, a preview for "Hills Have Eyes 3: Stanford Has Wasted an At-Large Invitation"

1:24: Is anyone else with MMOD access strangely fascinated by the MMOD-exclusive "studio show?" It's like cable access, with a wee bit more self-seriousness. I know they've only been on the "air" (or whatever) for about 10 minutes, so I don't want to be TOO harsh too early, but here's my hint: Lighten up! Make it fun! It should feel more like a couple employees gathered around a computer in a cubicle. Lose the mock professionalism completely. Think: Fun! Fun! Fun! (If I might say: Make it more like, say, a live-blog...)

1:18: Some people don't like announcer Gus Johnson, but I love him when he does Tournament games. It seems like half the most classic moments are during games he has called, and his announcing has made them more memorable. ("THE SLIPPER *STILL* FITS!!!") I want Gus to announce my kid's Bar Mitzvah. ("AND HOW DO YOU LIKE *THAT* HAFTORAH!!!") But this abomination is going to stretch his talents. Let's hope he gets some better games, if for no other reason than a karmic payback for dealing with this brutality right now.

1:15: Now this will be a trick. With BC/TXTech and MD/DVD both at halftime, CBS is left with the Louisville-Stanford "game" just outside of the under-4 timeout. How do you make chicken salad out of THAT one? 44-16.

1:12: 44-43 Maryland over Davidson at the half. By far the most exciting of the three games (if you can count Louisville-Stanford as a "game.") Hopefully, my MMOD will keep me locked on this great, up-and-down game.

1:10: Who is that player on Maryland, Osby, with the most unbelievably awesome, Artis Gilmore-style hair? All-Hair Team lock!

1:07: Pontiac is selling me a car based on the idea that (a) Bobby Knight can be my Gimp, and (b) that I can coerce game refs with my sweet velour interior to give my team some calls. Sold!

1:05: BC up by 2 at the half over TX Tech. At least it's a game. Davidson frosh Stephen ("Steffen") Curry has 16 points already. He's the mid-major's Kevin Durant!

1:04: Apparently, there was a sick shot in the Maryland-Davidson game, but since my MMOD doesn't have any video (just audio), I'm simply imagining what it was like. (Of course, simply BEING in MMOD seems like I'm ahead of the game.)

1:00: Tiger Woods in an ad playing the Wii will sell more of those consoles than any ad out there. Not that Nintendo is having trouble. (Damn: Anyone know where I can get one?)

12:58: I have just seen, for the first time, a new Coach K ad for State Farm, asking if I wanted to go to Coach K-coached fantasy camp. But do I have to pay extra for the sanctimony?

12:55: I finally noticed that all the BC players are wearing matching headbands. Isn't that sweet? I wonder if Sean Williams is sitting at home, watching on TV, wearing a headband... quietly weeping.

12:54: I am stuck watching BC-Texas Tech (ugh) locally, when I really want to be watching Davidson upset Maryland. But if I can't get into MMOD, how can I "control" my experience and watch that game? Damn!

12:53: Watching Stanford get thumped by Louisville, there will be nothing more frustrating to Syracuse, Drexel, Air Force and other Bubble-Burst fans than to watch the Cardinal get obliterated.

12:51: Just a hunch: Kevin "Hanes" Bacon is the next coach of the Bobcats. He and Michael Jordan seem to have a pretty tight relationship.

12:49: So I'm getting lots of IMs complaining about MMOD and Macs, which SportsLine acknowledges, to their credit. Doesn't help your problems, though.

12:47: Who do you think Katie Couric has in her Final Four?

12:45: So apparently, Pontiac is selling me cars by promising I can treat Bobby Knight like my own personal Gimp. Sold!

12:28: For now, I have been totally screwed by the on-demand video feed system. Bastards.

12:25: I'm still waiting for the on-demand video feed to LET ME IN(!!!), so the local CBS affiliate have helpfully moved me to Texas Tech-B.C. Over/under on the number of Enberg "Oh my!" exclamations: 20.

12:24: Is it me, or does the area inside the 3-point line in the Buffalo Arena look like a swimming pool? Any minute now, I expect to see Terrence Howard show up, crying and talking about his movie swim team.

12:21: Yikes, there is NO ONE at the Maryland-Davidson game. Like me, does everyone else think it's better to watch on TV than go to these games? If someone gave me a ticket for free, I wouldn't go. Go, Couch!

12:15: A quick word about SportsLine's live-video offerings, as it's my first time using them on the first day of the Tournament:

The "Waiting Room" is fascinating: If you're "VIP," they show your place in line (at 10:27 a.m., I was No. 6,495. Within 20 minutes of logging in, there were 12,000 people already "lined up" behind me — I got bumped out of the line around 11 a.m., and bumped again later in the hour). Currently, the line seems to be stalled. Anyone else having this issue right now?

Then there's the "General Admission" line, which I presume is like "steerage class" in "Titanic" (lots of drinking, singing and dancing — maybe Kate Winslet slumming...).

Anyway, with just under minutes before games start, I'm slightly obsessed with tracking the line status. Drop an IM if you have any interesting observations about your place.

Noon ET: Welcome to the NCAA Tournament Live-Blog: Round 1, Day 1. I'm Dan Shanoff, formerly of here, currently of here.

Rather than watching multiple TVs from my annual perch, fighting off the fraternity party at the Park Avenue Country Club in Manhattan, I am at Deadspin HQ with Will.

On TV, we are watching whatever the local CBS affiliate is showing. And we're attempting to use CBS' much-balleyhooed "MMOD" service that lets us watch games online as "VIPs." Last year, they apparently had some "crowd-control" issues. If we can't get access today, I will hurtle myself against the HQ wall until I black out — or read Gregg Doyel's insightful stylings until my eyes bleed.

But it's not just me posting (and, for a taste, check out my last attempt at live-blogging: Round 1, Day 1 in 2003).

Let's get going, with the first games on the table: 12:20 Davidson/Maryland, 12:25 Texas Tech/BC, 12:40 Stanford/Louisville.

And my first random question on the table: Which TV ad will get most insufferable most quickly? Because you KNOW by day's end, we'll ALL be expressing surprise at Enterprise "picking us up," wondering why we should eat buffalo wings if we don't have breasts staring us in the face, and figuring out precisely how Cingular is the new AT&T.

• Memphis vs. Oral Roberts
• West Virginia vs. Southern Illinois
• Georgetown vs. Northern Iowa
• Villanova vs. Monmouth

You're all once again encouraged to tips@deadspin.com with your own thoughts, observations and gripes, of course.

Full live-blog is after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--
5:20 p.m.: And ... finals:

Villanova 58, Monmouth 45.
Memphis 84, Oral Roberts 78.

Thus concludes our broadcast day. Good night ... and good luck.

5:15: OK. Well. Tonight ... uh ... tonight it's Connecticut against Albany. GOOOOOOOO Great Danes! It can happen! It can reall