Lambert wisely chose the Times over say, Maxim or (worse) Newsweek, to give her first interview since being suspended over rough play against BYU. There were basically three messages she wanted to get across. One, rough play is a part of soccer life. Two, even though she temporarily lost her mind, she is not a she-devil. Three, you're all a bunch of sicko pervs.

She is absolutely right when she claims that the public reaction was mostly a result of her being a girl. Lambert says was most upset that people assumed that because she plays the game a little dirty, she must be some kind of bi-curious S&M freak. (No, she will not go on a date with you, anonymous loser.) It doesn't really help that the Times photographer turned her into a J. Crew model for a story that is essentially about sports, but as far as image rehabilitation projects go, I'd say this one is pretty successful.

Lambert—who only received two yellow cards in her career before the BYU game—was suspended indefinitely, but New Mexico's season is done anyway, so who knows how or if this will affect her senior year. I think that the sector of the population that is not a bunch of stuck-up worrywarts (or sexually frustrated trolls) is already on Team Elizabeth anyway, so I predict next year's Lobo home games to be the best attended matches ever.

Those Soccer Plays, in Context [New York Times]
A Soccer Mom's Response to Rough Play: 'This Is Appalling!' [Politics Daily]
The dirtiest players in football [Belfast Telegraph]

Junior Elizabeth Lambert is the Loco Lobo who cameras caught bringing the pain down on BYU in the Mountain West women's soccer semifinals. She kicked, she punched, she clawed, she yanked and basically slugged her way to global infamy. Not since Zinedine Zidane has the world cared so much about soccer players hurting each other.

We already have the apologies and recriminations—Lambert has been suspended indefinitely by her school—and there's sure to be more handwringing and "WHY ARE OUR LITTLE GIRLS SO OUT OF CONTROL?" editorials, but I suspect that Lambert will get far more grief than she probably deserves. I admit that I'm not a soccer expert, but it seems that she isn't any dirtier than most footballers—just more obvious.

You'll notice that in some of the instances, Lambert is retaliating for chippy play from the Cougars. It was grossly out of proportion retaliation, but retaliation nonetheless. A Cougar throws an elbow, Lambert throws a punch to the shoulder blades. Another pulls her shorts, she pulls her hair. Another steps on her foot, she sends one of their guys to the morgue. That's the New Mexico way.

And you'll also notice that despite all these apparent infractions, all Lambert received was one measly yellow card. The point is that these kinds of "dirty" tactics (elbows, jersey pulling, tripping) are all part of how soccer is played. It's just that its usually a lot more subtle. Clearly she crossed the line, but maybe the problem isn't that Lambert is a rageaholic thug, it's that she just isn't very good at soccer. A more accomplished player would have found a way to de-cleat her tormentors without drawing so much attention to herself. Unlike the usually reliable Zidane, who instead chose to take his revenge during the final minutes of the most important and most watched soccer match imaginable.

Yes, girls play dirty too. I know this is shocking to everyone, but not if you've ever been to a casino with Tim Floyd.

New Mexico Women's Soccer Player Suspended Indefinitely [Go Lobos]
College Soccer Player Turns NCAA Playoff Game Into Hand-to-Hand "Combat" [CBS News]
BYU Fights Off New Mexico, 1-0 [ESPN]
New Mexico Women's Soccer: Probably Tougher Than Cristiano Ronaldo [Sporting Blog]

And here's the link for when the YouTube inevitably gets pulled.

BYU Fights Off New Mexico, 1-0 [ESPN]

New Mexico also wants to make it clear that he is not being suspended because of the harassment lawsuit filed by a former administrative assistant. No, no. That was taken care of days ago. Okay, it was yesterday. But all legal claims are "resolved" so it's like it never even happened. Keep that money coming, Alumni Donors!

Locksley will miss the Lobos' next game against UNLV on October 24, and if all goes according to plan, he'll be fired just as soon as the school can figure out the least embarrassing way to get him out of town.

Source: New Mexico Lobos coach Mike Locksley suspended 1 game [ESPN]

Supposedly, Locklsey and Lobo's receivers coach J.B. Gerald had been at odds ever since training camp, when Locksley dressed him down in front of players and the media during practice. Then after New Mexico got embarrassed by Air Force last month, Locksley let him have it again. Only Gerald refused to take it quietly and neither coach would back down.

According to a police report filed by Gerald, Locksley became angry and approached Gerald in an aggressive manner. Gerald told Locksley that not even his mother talks to him that way. Locksley, witnesses said, fired back that his mother wasn't paying Gerald $90,000 a year.

Then after all the harsh words, it was a simple "Whatever" from Gerald that brought Locksley back into the room after he had begun to leave.

Locksley told Fanhouse he was trying to leave the room where the argument was taking place, but that one little "whatever" sent him over the edge and charging back in to grab Gerald. (Although Locksley still claims that he didn't actually hit him. Whatever.) Somehow Gerald is the one on administrative leave, although that might benefit him in the long run. Add assault to the sexual harassment charges and an 0-4 record and Coach Locksley might not even survive his first year as a head coach. That would make me want to give someone a fat lip.

How Push Led to Shove in New MexicoFanHouse [Fanhouse]

ESPN, citing sources close to Alford, said that the Iowa coach was interested in going to a program that was not a "football-first" school, even though it meant the unusual move of leaving the Big Ten for the Mountain West.

If Alford wanted to avoid a "football first" program, well hell, what about Indiana? Speaking of that, next week will be the exact 20-year anniversary of the Hoosiers' 1987 NCAA national title; a run led by Alford, who was the first real beneficiary of the NCAA's standardized 3-point shot. Ironic that he's now even further away from the school that everyone thought he was destined to coach.

Hmm. And it's no wonder Iowa didn't bother to buy FireSteveAlford.com.

Alford Reportedly To Leave Iowa For New Mexico [MSNBC]

• You wake up in the back seat of a 1989 Dodge Spirit.
• The car is missing a tire.
• You are developing an immunity to pepper spray.
• You are wearing a fashionable accessory like the one to the right.
• Your name is Kyle Prochaska.

Prochaska, a University of New Mexico forward, was suspended for the remainder of the basketball season following an incident on Sunday in which he fought with police officers after being discovered drunk in the back seat of a car on the side of the road. According to the Albuquerque Tribune — in a story we found via Bad Jocks.com — Bernalillo County Sheriff's Deputies were responding to a possible car crash when they found Prochaska passed out in the back seat of his 1989 Dodge Spirit, which was missing its left front tire and was wedged against a chain-link fence. Once they woke him up, Prochaska became uncooperative, fought with officers, and eventually had to be subdued with pepper spray. Then, according to the Tribune:

Once in the back seat of the police car, Prochaska began spitting all over the vehicle, prompting police to cover his face with a "spit hood."

When he sobered up, Prochaska explained that he had been playing a drinking game, to which he was ill suited because, he said, he is "a lightweight." We wonder, by any chance was it the Bill Simmons Drinking Game? Because that would be something.

Update: That is not Prochaska in the accompanying photo, by the way. But you can pretend it is if you'd like.

Arrested Lobo Will Miss Season [The Albuquerque Tribune]

Who Did Something Stupid Today? [Bad Jocks]