They didn't just do it with Drew Brees passing the ball wherever he wished (although he did do that) and they didn't just get some lucky bounces on defense (although they did get those) and they didn't do it because Bill Belichick secretly murdered his kickers. (Although he's still not afraid to go for it on 4th down.) The Saints sliced the Patriots up on offense and shut them down on defense. A couple of times they even made Tom Brady look like Drew Henson. This team is officially THE REAL DEAL.

In fact, looking at their schedule, I don't see where their first loss comes from. Does anyone other than Dallas even put up a fight? And do you have any doubt that Brees that can't pick that defense apart?

Best of all, any TV producers compiling file footage for their "How the Saints saved New Orleans" packages to be shown this January will not have done so in vain. Remember how awesome it was when people had to live in the Superdome for a week! Let's relieve that moment over and over and over again.

Dome housing a winner again [The Boston Globe]
Brees a godsend for Saints [San Diego Union-Tribune]
New Orleans Saints prove they are for real [NOLA.com]
Earlier: Saints Rebuild New Orleans For Fourth Consecutive Year

Honorable mention: Hackers who are exploiting your lust for all things Tiger Woods to install malware on your computers. Remember, kids—never visit any website that isn't Deadspin.com! (Seriously, don't do it. It's a scary world out there.) [Sophos]

Use this as your open thread, and be grateful that something of note is happening in the sports world that does not involve Tiger Woods or Grady Sizemore's strategically placed cup of Oolong.

Saints, Patriots trade praise before swapping hits [CBSSports.com]

* * * * *

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin.

* * * * *

October 24, 2008: "The Saviours of New Orleans" by Martin Fletcher, Times of London

With their padded shoulders and grill-fronted helmets, they will look just like any other football team, but appearances deceive. The Saints have worked a minor miracle. They have contributed as much to the recovery of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina as any political leader, government agency or corporate entity. The way they came marching home 13 months after Katrina wreaked such destruction brought hope and inspiration where there was only misery and despair.

"They saved the city, big time," says Humble Levar, 31, a limousine driver. Keith Joiner, 46, a paramedic, agrees: "That's what brought the city back to life, the Saints coming home. They gave everyone hope." Mary Beth Romig, of the New Orleans convention and visitors bureau, says: "The Saints saved the city - emotionally, spiritually and, to an extent, economically."

October 22, 2008: "Saint Drew can walk on water" by Andrew Elliott, The Express, UK

Back in 2005, Brees was looking for a new team after being released, coincidentally, by the Chargers, because of a shoulder injury so bad that one specialist told him his odds of a successful comeback were 500-1.

After a tour of the ruined districts in New Orleans, Brees knew he had found his spiritual home.

He signed a six-year contract with an organisation who, at the time, were homeless, with their Superdome stadium in a state of disrepair, and had a team of perennial underachievers.

But his subsequent miraculous recovery at the Saints has mirrored that of the city, the team and the Superdome, which has been gutted and refurbished to the tune of GBP 100million.

October 7: 2007: "Rebirth, and Then Relapse: Saints and Their City Are on Tenuous Footing" by Jere Longman, New York Times

A year ago, the Saints started 3-0 in what became an inspiring season that ended one game short of the Super Bowl. It provided a symbol of renewal in this damaged city's recovery from Hurricane Katrina.

''They did more for the city last year than any team has done for any city ever,'' Peter Richiutti, the assistant dean of the business school at Tulane University, said of the Saints. ....

The season hangs limply, lifelessly, like discarded Mardi Gras beads in the oak canopy along St. Charles Avenue

September 26, 2007: "Let Down Again in New Orleans" by Michael Wilbon, Washington Post

I waited what I thought was an appropriate amount of time to call my friend Susan Saulny, a New Orleans native and reporter for the New York Times who lives in Chicago, to find out if she was okay the day after the loss. She wasn't.

"The emotional toll goes far beyond losing the game," she said. "There's that feeling that we're losing the hope in something that was a great distraction from the awfulness that is still reality down there."

After the Titans took an interception back for a touchdown to seal the game, "I turned it off," Saulny said. "My heart sank. I couldn't watch anymore. There's not a lot to be excited about when you're living in a trailer."

January 19, 2007: "Crescent Roll: Saints have city & residents feeling Super" by Ohm Youngmisuk, New York Daily News

Nearly 17 months after Hurricane Katrina tore apart this city and the Gulf region, New Orleans is still in recovery mode. However, the Saints' march to within one win of their first Super Bowl has helped give the area an emotional boost.

"The New Orleans Saints have not erased our problems, but they have lifted our spirits," said Father William Maestri, superintendent of Catholic schools of the Archdiocese of New Orleans. "We should not minimize that. We have a different tone and a different step and a different attitude because of the New Orleans Saints."

While hundreds of thousands of lives were fractured by Katrina, with so many people having to relocate to places such as Houston and Mississippi, the Saints have given many hope - if not a much-needed distraction from the daily grind of rebuilding their lives.

January 14, 2007: "With City Watching, the Saints Carry On" by Jere Longman, New York Times

Running back Deuce McAllister seemed to carry the hopes for all of New Orleans on his shoulders as he bulled into the end zone on a 5-yard touchdown run in the third quarter, pile-driving into the end zone on second and third effort, losing his helmet, but not his determination.

For residents who have returned here after Hurricane Katrina, the Saints have come to symbolize the resolve of a city still half empty but determined to rebuild after suffering a staggering blow. For those still scattered from Houston to Atlanta, the Saints provide a familiar link to what once was, and may become again, home, as well as a reminder of the good times that were had following a mostly bad team.

January 13, 2007: "New Orleans: Team's unlikely rise coincides with city's recovery" by Armando Salguero, Miami Herald

The Saints are perhaps the most compelling story in the NFL this year. This franchise was teetering a year ago with a 3-13 record, no home stadium and rumors of a pending sale or a move out of town. All that atop the problems caused by Katrina.

But this season, the Saints are proving that nature's devastation can be erased by a touch from heaven.

January 13, 2007: "The Great Escape" by Rob Longley, The Toronto Sun

It may be difficult for some to fathom how a football team can be seen as a symbol of hope for this once great American city. Difficult until Dugas graciously offers the details of his tiny, temporary (he hopes) abode and tries to lend some perspective to the passion.

"People like me come out of their FEMA trailers on game day," Dugas said. "We leave our trailers to forget for three and a half hours. That's how much this team means.

"It's all I think about every week, something good. I lost everything in my home. Everything I own. I deserve something to feel good about."

December 10, 2006: "For a city, a Saint: Even Parcells couldn't prepare Payton for this" by Kevin Sherrington, Dallas Morning News

The Saints' sudden, startling success under Payton is a balm for a city reminded daily of Katrina's devastation and the long road to recovery.

They hear Katrina on talk shows, read it in headlines, see its effects on the streets where they live.

But the football team is winning. Parcells didn't prepare Payton for what it could mean. Nothing could.

How are you supposed to respond when a guy walks up at a concert and says he's been relocated and is out of a job and he still bought six season tickets?

You could question the guy's priorities. Football tickets? Concerts?

But give him this: The man believed.

September 2, 2005: "Football temporary diversion," by Tom Knott, Washington Times

For now, the Saints are a nomadic symbol of a city that once was. They, too, are without a home and up against an uncertain future.

They carry the prospect of a sunny day again.

That prospect may look distant, considering the grim and desperate images being beamed out of Party Town, USA.

But one day, a city and football team will be whole again.

[Results via Lexis/Nexis]

Hebert first bursts into a joyful choo-choo yelp but then goes directly to the Bayou forearm-fongool multiple times for emphasis.

According to Professor Cajun Boy, Hebert "grew up in a town that neighbors mine and played at our rival high school and is just a good ole down the bayou dumbass who lives for Saints football and drinking beer. God bless him." That looks about right.

Doesn't look like exasperated guy sitting next to him in the press box is too pleased, though. They probably draw straws to sit next to Hebert.

Former Saints Quarterback Is Very Excitable [AnimalNY]

Personally, I always get a little agitated when able-bodied people swing into the handicapped parking spots even for a few seconds, but I'd say the outrage never escalates to more than a head shake. And Young's apology — "I am sincerely sorry. I will never park in those spots again. I know there is no excuse for my actions, but I promise it will never happen again.'' — seems adequately sufficient given the nature of his crime. Not to NOLA readers, though. Nope, some people will never cheer for Usama Young ever again.

• Sorry to hear about this. people who park in handicapped spaces, double park, park in the drive-thru, etc. are my pet peeves. i think it shows a total lack of respect for other people. might seem petty to some, but i am no longer a fan of usama young.

• He can redeem himself by getting 6 interceptions and forcing three fumbles this season. If he can do that, then all is forgiven. If he doesn't, then he has to spend 200 hours working at a Vets rehab unit after the season.

• Another idiot who's been coddled because he's a professional athlete. I remember when athletes were someone to idiolize. It's a shame. Being scrutinized in the media isn't anything new for athletes. It's just now they think they are above the law because so much of what they do is hidden under the rug unless someone finds out about it.I don't think a one game suspension would send the appropriate message. Maybe a 1/2 season and then put on the disabled list. Then maybe he could "justify" parking in a handicap spot. What an idiot.

• did y'all see all the appearances he was making on behalf of the Saints on First Take and the NFL Network? He came across as a really nice guy, I guess it was all a front. You can't park in a handicapped space no matter what and being out at that hour and speeding in Harahan is really, really stupid. Like slumbyball said, my respect level for this doosh bag went down a lot. what an idiot

• My impression of Usama Young just went down a few notches. I have a family member that is handicapped having lost his legs in a tank while serving this country. He needs those handicapped spaces. They are there for a reason. Whenever I see someone parking in those spaces that does not have authorization I tend to let them know it. An abled bodied NFL player like Young is being nothing but selfish and thoughtless by parking in a handicapped space. I suppose he thinks he is privilaged and above the law. You can walk you frikkin moron. Save the spaces for the handicapped. Then he doesn't even show up for his court date. To all out there that think it's ok to park in a handicapped space even if it's just to run in and run out it's wrong. Get a clue idiots. I hope Young garners a large fine from the NFL and a one game suspension for violating the personal conduct rules for NFL players. In my book, he's a piece of chit.

He's a total piece of chit. I wonder if the Saints organization should prepare for the throngs of wheelchair-bound former fans protesting outside the Superdome before the opener. Maybe Young should seek out some guidance from Tony Dungy to help him move on from this incident.

New Orleans Saints safety arrested in Harnahan [NOLA]

Are we being fair to Jeremy Shockey? Of course not. Houston's DeMeco Ryans was at least equally to blame (if not more so) for the altercation that began with a simple pass route, a grab of the jersey, a forearm to the head and all kinds of shoving. Plus, that was only the second fight of the day started by a Saints tight end. Buck Ortega started his own scrum against the Houston defense. Why so angry, America's tight ends?

One thing that everyone can agree on is that fighting in the preseason is a positive sign that demonstrates your team's determination to win ... or it's a horrible omen that exposes your team as wild and undisciplined. That's why we play the fake games!

Shockey at center of Saints-Texans brawl [WWLTV]

1. They just don't make face masks like Rickey Jackson's anymore. When I was younger, certain players were easily identifiable by certain types of equipment that only they used. Brian Cox, for example. Cox always had that giant trapezoidal neck support sticking out of the back of his collar. Jim McMahon always has a dark visor. Nick Lowery had the grandfathered-in single bar facemask with full mustache visibility. And Rickey Jackson had his face mask. Look at this thing. Now THAT is a fucking face mask. It's like a goddamn jungle gym. Rickey Jackson had, bar none, more squares on his face mask than any player in history. This was during a time when face masks could vary wildly. A lot of linebackers and lineman had gargantuan face masks. Some of them had flat bars going across. Some, like Daryl Talley, had the little circular dip to protect their eyes, rather than the straight bar going down. I assume Talley also did this so that his face mask wouldn't produce an Opti-Grab effect and leave him cock-eyed.

Those days of individual uniform variance have been all but crushed by The Ginger Hammer and others in the league offices, which is bullshit. I'll never understand why players have to have their socks all the way up, or whatever other sartorial retarderies the league foists upon them. It's not like they're causing any confusion as to which team they're playing for. "Whoa! That face mask is too big! He might be a Chief!" Fucking stupid. I think this may all be Rickey Jackson's fault. I think someone in the league office looked at his face mask and said, "That's it. They've gone TOO FUCKING FAR." And then BOOM! Uniform helmets. Oh, and Rickey has also been accused of owing over $177,000 in back child support. Maybe he needed the extra facial protection, lest his ex-wife try and claw his eyes out.

2. Yahoo still owes fantasy players for the great Marques Colston TE debacle of aught six. In easily the biggest technical snafu in fantasy history, Colston was listed as a hybrid WR/TE by Yahoo during his rookie year, during which he scored 8 TD's and caught 70 balls. Pretty good numbers for a wideout. Stellar fucking numbers for a tight end. Everyone knew damn well that Colston was a pure wideout, but Yahoo chose to keep him as a TE option all year long, deciding to NOT piss off Colston owners by pissing off everyone else. Goddamn Yahoo. Fuck you, fuck your exclamation point, and fuck Marques Colston.

3. People who don't live in New Orleans really need to stop calling it N'Awlins in a jokey manner. While I'm sure the town of New Orleans is lovely, it bears total responsibility for any co-opted Southern Gothic kitsch now permeating the American landscape. That includes people who can't talk with a Cajun accent attempting to do just that. It also includes any House of Blues franchise, as well as the 4,000 varieties of inedible designer hot sauces with names like VOODOO FIRE and ASSKICKERZ. It also includes a good amount of teenage goth culture. There wouldn't be half as many fat kids dressed in all black out there if it weren't for those fucking Anne Rice books, and I also wouldn't have to hear about Twilight every fucking five minutes if gay little Lestat had never existed. I gar-onnn-teee it. See how annoying that is?

4. SHOCKEY! SHOCKEY! SHOCKEY! Oooh, loogit! It's the failed white Dennis Rodman. Hopefully, Shockey has been able to stay hydrated while in camp. Not that it will matter, given that Billy Miller will probably end up taking 80% of all snaps. Between Shockey and Reggie Bush, the Saints have quite a collection of players that are well known but not terribly good. (Fun prediction: Pierre Thomas runs for 1,300 yards and 12 TD's.)

5. It's hard to defend the pass when you have no cornerbacks. Corners Mike McKenzie and Jason David are gone (though any Saints fan will tell you the team is vastly improved with David nowhere near the field), leaving coverage duties to Randall Gay (snicker), Tracy Porter, and Jabari Greer. Ballhawk safety Darren Sharper offers some help for the Saints' pass defense (23rd overall in the league), but the team's best defense against the pass is still letting Drew Brees' throw for a zillion yards and praying the offense doesn't turn the ball over. Like last year, that may not be enough.

Wanna be part of the Deadspin NFL previews? It's simple. Just email me here and give me some reasons why the team you hate most sucks. If it's because you dated a fan of the team and she turned out to be some crazy bitch who keyed your car, all the better. I'll throw any good material into the post and give you proper credit.

It was the worst chaos at the Superdome since...well, let's not complete that sentence. But it was quite the scene last night, as season ticket-holders were outsmarted by their season tickets.

You see, the tickets look different than they did last year. The bar code is apparently in a different place. You know that bar code? The ones that anyone who's been to a sporting event in the last five years knows they need to scan to let you in? Saints fans tore that part off.

First fans were turned away, then gradually let in as staff cross-referenced their names with the season ticket-holder list. Finally, with one minute to kickoff, they just said screw it and let everyone in. All this fuss for a meaningless game against the Bengals?

It's a new ticket this year," Saints spokesman Greg Bensel said. "A lot of people did get in with the bar code properly torn and some people didn't. The people who didn't were allowed in through Gate A and they just tore the ticket."

But Bensel warned fans: "Be more careful. Look at the ticket and see where the perforation is. You have to include the bar code. Each ticket must have a bar code.''

I'm going to assume he said that in the tone of voice you use to talk to a 5-year-old.

New Orleans Saints Season Ticket-Holders Find Chaos, Lockout At Friday's Preseason Game [Times-Picayune]

Mina Brees was apparently visiting her son Reid, according to the Austin American-Statesman. Other than that, details are scarce.

Marty Akins, Brees' brother who is also a lawyer and former University of Texas quarterback, said he was told Friday morning that Brees died in Colorado, where she was visiting her son Reid. Akins said he did not know the cause of her death.

"It's my understanding that she was at her girlfriend's house," Akins said. "That's all I know. I just know that she passed away, and I loved her very much."

Brees, whose relationship with son Drew was famously strained, was an Austin attorney and a former president of the Austin Bar Association, which gave her an award in 2005 for legal ethics and professionalism. She was being investigated by the Texas attorney general for allegedly trying to dupe several area restaurants into paying her for the rights to their own names. Her business records were subpoenaed Tuesday.

Mina Brees, prominent Austin attorney, dies in Colorado [Austin American-Statesman]

The situation is a little confusing, but apparently Mina Brees, who is a lawyer in Austin, sent of a series of letters to Houston restaurant owners informing them that she had purchased their "assumed business names" from the county clerk. Her company, Chicksports Inc. (seriously?), was gracious enough to offer the names back to them for the low, low price of $20,000. This is basically like cybersquatting on a domain name, only without the fun of the internet.

Of course, things work differently in the real world. Technically, the business names do expire, but if you've already been doing business under that name then no one can make you change it. A lawyer for the restaurant owners' association said the whole thing is bunk and added, "I'm a member of the bar, and it's embarrassing for someone in our profession to do something like that." In other words, "Nice try, nut job."

Ms. Brees plan for financial glory has worked almost as well as her campaign strategy of improperly using her estranged son's face to try and get elected to the Texas Court of Appeals. It's true the rural Texan voters love anything associated with quarterbacks from New Orleans, but perhaps she should give her schemes a little more thought.

NFL QB's mom demands money from Houston restaurants [Houston Chronicle]

Kind of. The story lays out how driven and smart and good with numbers she is, but it also spends some time focused on her as a foot-stomping cheerleader who loves her "PAWPAW." So maybe this feature serves as a warning to Saints fans that once the 82-year-old Benson dies, she's the one who'll call the shots in New Orleans. (Or move them to a larger market.) Too young? Too Cameron Diaz-y? Oh, and former employee Mike Feder pretty much says he's not a fan of her hands-on management style.

"I know she's intelligent, " Feder says. "I just think she hadn't figured out how to deal with people."

Incompetent people like Mike Feder, most likely, but it still should be noted that somebody doesn't think too highly of her. This isn't the first profile done of LeBlanc — Portfolio did a four-page spread on her two years ago about how she's the one person who helped "save the Saints." So watch out for her. Her closest peer responsibility-wise is Jed York, 28-year-old president of the San Francisco 49ers. Those two should get married!

Rita Benson Leblanc Is Climbing The NFL Ladder [NOLA]

Over two dozen people with ties to the New Orleans Saints invested in a company called Louisiana Film Studios. A film studio in Louisiana sounds like a bit of an oxymoron, but it is actually a common and popular tax dodge thanks to generous credits given by the state to anyone who thinks it's a good idea to film a movie in a swamp. (Studios are allowed to sell the tax credits to wealthy individuals who then write the credit off on their taxes. The money turns into Heaven's Prisoners.)

It's a perfectly legitimate financial maneuver—provided the studio has actually been granted the credits by the state, which Louisiana Film Studios had not. The investors (including coach Sean Payton, Drew Brees, and Archie Manning) say they were duped and could lose all their money. Defensive end Charles Grant risked the most at $425,000.

So what does that have to do with Houser? In addition to being the longest-serving current member of the Saints, it seems he was the go-to financial expert on the team—he's a registered broker—and the only one who actually had direct contact with the studio. So because his teammates were stupid enough to write checks for hundreds of thousands of dollars based on the advice of a long snapper, Houser is out of job. (His profile page has already been scrubbed from the Saints website.) And possibly $125,000 of his own money that he, least of all, can afford to lose.

(Oh, and he runs a charity for sick kids. It just gets worse and worse.)

The head of the studio says it's all a big misunderstanding—the FBI never seems to understand—and the players will get their money back as soon as he finds new investors. (This is what's known as a pyramid scheme.) As for Houser ... I have this great script about a backup center who solves crimes with the help of a talking dog. It's gold.

More than two dozen with ties to the New Orleans Saints invested in movie studio deal [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
Former Saint Houser searching for answers [WWL TV]
Related: Saints Nation: Could Kevin Houser's Job be in Jeopardy? [Saint's Nation]

Payton's tale "is about a boy from a poor family in New Orleans who starts controlling the outcome of NFL games through a refurbished Xbox given to him by his grandfather following a devastating hurricane." Poignant.

He's turned over his script to a professional screenwriter to spruce it up after two summers of "piddling around with it." It sounds kind of like "Amazing Grace and Chuck" but instead of nuclear weapons there are hurricanes and instead of Alex English there is XBox. But what better way to bring the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina to the big screen then a fable about a boy and his magical video game console. I hope this gets made and spawns many, many sequels so we can see how Payton's "Xbox Kid" can inspire the rest of the world coping with national tragedies.

Saints Coach Sean Payton Shops Movie Idea To Hollywood [Times-Picayune]

Sort of. Shockey won't go into the specifics about what vast array of elixirs his 250-lb. body ingested over his weekend in Vegas that left him woozy, disoriented and practically unconscious on that fateful Sunday afternoon by the implant-infested pools of Rehab, but he did hint at it being excessive:

If you're halfway intelligent you can read what everybody wrote," said Shockey, who was limited last season due to a sports hernia and didn't score a touchdown during his first season in New Orleans. "You know what they say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's in the past. I'm looking forward to the future."

Shockey hasn't done much in New Orleans since he arrived last year from the Giants. He had a sports hernia that hampered him most of last season and didn't score any touchdowns. Many of his teammates were irked by his sucky play and suckier attitude, especially quarterback Drew Brees. Shockey did finally report to voluntary mini-camp with the rest of the Saints family this week.

New Orleans Tight End Jeremy Shockey Opens Up, With A Notable Exception [NOLA]

According to the intrepid Chad Bower of WWL-TV in New Orleans, Saints wide receiver Biren Ealy and tight end Kolomona Kapanui were arrested at around 1:30 this morning on charges of obscenity and disturbing the peace after they were spotted taking a leak in a parking lot. Fortunately for all of us, it didn't stop there:

Two women drove up to the two players and told them to stop, Fortunato said. Ealy, 24, then turned around, exposing himself in the process, and began making lewd comments, Fortunato said. After that Kapanui, 25, turned around and exposed himself as well; Fortunato said he was "fondling himself" and was making lewd comments.

The two women began yelling for help and called 911, Fortunato said.

Several questions come to mind.

1) What were the women wanting help with, exactly?
2) Why didn't the players just run away when the women started yelling?
3) What are the chances either of them are still on the Saints' roster at this time tomorrow?

This sounds like a case for Carl Monday.

Two Saints players arrested for urinating in public [WWL-TV]

Ah, no reflection! (Crosses fingers). As Photoshop Disasters points out, Mr. Bush seems to be a vampire. Ms. Kardashian turned up on Jorge Sedano's 790 The Ticket radio show in Miami recently, and while she didn't address this photo specifically, she did say that she "loved the pictures," and that she expects Bush's Saints' teammates to "tape them to his locker" very soon.

But Kardashian did address other photos of her, sans Reggie, which appeared in Complex Magazine recently, in which someone Photoshopped the living daylights out of her thighs.

"Um, I mean I am definitely a fan of airbrush, but as far as your everyday stuff I don't think, you know, that anyone should do it now. There are all these programs you can do and I see my friends taking pictures and fixing their noses and fixing stuff before sending a picture out. But I think that it's really unrealistic and that's why I posted it on my site first. Just to say, you know what? I'm not perfect, I have a little bit of cellulite and who cares?"

She also addresses the "controversy" on her blog:

So what: I have a little cellulite. What curvy girl doesn't!? How many people do you think are photoshopped? It happens all the time! At the same time as this Complex shoot, I was gearing up for my fitness DVD and you should see my thighs now!!! Haha! This all motivates me to stay in the gym because my goal this year has been to get in better shape and tone up! Hard work pays off!

Animal New York, however, reports that the unretouched photo that originally appeared on the Complex site was quickly replaced with the Photoshopped version, and then even that was taken down. Oh, and that report that Kim and Reggie were making it rain at a party at Miami's Fountainbleu Hotel on March 14? She says she wasn't even there.

"I don't know. I wasn't there … it was my sisters and Reggie, they were in Miami and I was at home in bed with the flu. I have no idea what they were doing, I think they were definitely having a good time and partying and Reggie's birthday was the next day. That's not really Reggie's personality but that sounds like Khloe's personality."

Multiple sources seem to dispute this, however. And Reggie's birthday is March 2, not March 15, so maybe she's talking about a different incident? Sheesh. Thanks for reading all of this. Let us never speak of Kim Kardashian again.

GQ: Kim Kardashian's Bloke Is A Vampire [PsD]
The Saint And The Sinner [GQ]
Kim Kardashian Is Proud Of Her Thighs So Stop Vomiting [AnimalNewYork]
Kim Kardashian Talks About Reggie Bush And Making It Rain [Sports Radio Interviews.com]
Complex Covers Up Cover Girl Kim Kardashian [AnimalNewYork]
Yes, I Am Complex [Kim Kardashian Blog]
No Stopping Kim [New York Post]

The former Jet has not been accused of any wrongdoing, but police would like to know why two suspected drug dealers were murdered in his condo outside of New York City. Neighbors got suspicious when five men came to the home on Thursday (one of whom claimed to be Vilma's cousin), backed a truck into the garage, closed the door for a few minutes, then drove off a short time later. Oh, and two shots rang out in the interval and a bullet came through a neighbor's wall. Real smooth.

Then later that night, two bodies were found dumped in Queens—both with holes in the back of their heads—and let's just say it only took one episode of "Law and Order" to put that puzzle together. The mysterious "cousin" is still on the loose and obviously police sources say they would like to know who Vilma has been giving his keys to.

POLICE INVESTIGATE DOUBLE MURDER IN EX-JET JONATHAN VILMA'S LONG ISLAND CONDO [New York Post]

At least, there's no November Rain in the Superdome. I can't even begin to describe the joy inside that comes from watching the pure, unbridled devotion pour out of this mustachioed, '80s hair rocker who has leapt forward in time—or got stuck in it—to give his love and support to his favorite star-crossed football team. He is an inspiration to all fans everywhere, especially those who bore the world their crappy YouTube videos. Look at the production value on this! The man is an artist.

Seriously, close the door to your office and spend some company overtime checking out Supa Saint's video library of athletic support. (I recommend his Michael Mann tribute and his Philly call out.) Kevin Bacon and Baby Mangino couldn't do it any better.

Supa Saint's Turbo-Awesome Website for your Enjoyment! [Supa Saint]
The "SupaSaint" will Footloose-dance the pain of Saints fandom away [Cajun Boy]