Most observers were guessing a one- or maybe two-game suspension, since it is the Stanley Cup playoffs, where everything is magnified x10,000. Similar hits have drawn two or three games in the regular season and even though the hit on Betts was clearly a late blow, the intent to injure was not blatantly obvious. But Betts did break his orbital bone and he was knocked very silly (he won't play tomorrow either) and the NHL probably figures this is a great time to send a message, the Capitals further playoff hopes be damned.

Washington Capitals' Donald Brashear earns six-game suspension [ESPN]
Time To Get Serious About Head Shots [TSN]

The Rangers had a chance to close out their series in Washington on Friday, but instead got lit up by the Caps 4-0. Now they have another shot to end things at home, but because their coach saw fit to get in a water fight with a fan during Game 5 they will have to do it without him. Tortorella was hit with a tasty beverage, but it looks like he may have been the one who started it.

Capitals' season ticket-holder Claudette Chandonia told The Washington Post the bottle Tortorella threw hit her in the head. "He was losing and he was frustrated, I guess," Chandonia said, according to the report. "I couldn't believe it. I looked up, and he was throwing the water bottle — and then it hit me right here, right in the head, and it bounced off me."

Fans in the seats around Chandonia confirmed the bottle-throwing and said Tortorella also squirted water through two panes of glass before throwing the bottle, according to the report.

"Good job by our fans. Our fans are one more player for us. They do what they have to do for us," Capitals star Alex Ovechken said Saturday morning at the team's practice.

You may recall Tortorella's stance against the "embarrassing" antics of wild cards like Avery—who he has mostly helped keep in line since the two were united in New York. But you know ... it was just a little water. Since when are coaches not allowed to cool off fans with a refreshing drink? Or maybe a stick to the face?

New York Rangers coach John Tortorella suspended for Game 6 [ESPN]
John Tortorella Goes Nuts After Capitals Fan Dumps Beer On Him [Total Pro Sports]
Capitals-Rangers Preview [AP]

Avery took a completely uncalled for and unnecessary cheap shot at Bruins goalie Tim Thomas last night—tapping him on the back of the head with his stick during a timeout. There's was a little dust-up, matching minors, and the only thing that got hurt was a lot of feelings. That's called being an instigator, which is only awesome when the instigator is on your team. (Or you're a disinterested fan of chaos.) When he's not, the guy is a criminal who should banned from ice skating. So you see the dilemma that turns the stomachs of the league's head honchos.

The Bruins won the game and clinched the best record in the East. The Rangers are clinging to the eighth playoff spot by a very thin hair. Avery's antics work ... except when they don't. But they don't hurt ticket sales, that's for sure.

Sean Avery Instigates Everyone Including Jack Edwards [Online Sports Guys]

The crowd was barely awake until they called his name for the starting lineup and they gave up their first of many rousing cheers for him that night. The hated New Jersey Devils were in town, led by Avery's favorite foil Martin Brodeur, and the sellout crowd was looking for blood. They didn't get it, but it didn't really matter, because the game is definitely more interesting with the villain on the ice.

Of course, everyone who isn't a Ranger fan hates Sean Avery's guts. Almost immediately, you could see the frustration building among the Devils players. Several of them tried desperately to take shots at Avery throughout the game—including Brodeur, but that was mostly because he was standing on the goalie's leg pads during a first-period power play. Avery refused to take the bait, which of course frustrated them even more. He delivered a monster check on Johnny Oduya late in the game, but even after David Clarkson threw him to the ice—twice—he wouldn't drop his stick and gloves. I guess those anger management classes are working.

I understand that you can't really have a guy publicly insulting the virtue of famous female actresses, but it really is a shame the NHL wants to handcuff this guy and turn him into another anonymous NHL forward. The home crowd loves him, opposing crowds have a reason to show up and hate him, and he's a pretty good player. He's not the best, by any stretch, but he may be the best at what he does ... and he's certainly the most interesting player in the league. Outside of goalie Henrik Lundquist (who pitched an impressive shutout), no one else was getting chants and ovations from the home crowd last night. Avery makes every game he is in more fun—and he makes the Rangers better—so what's more important than that?

A Fuller Portrait of Sean Avery vs. the Devils [Slap Shot - NY Times]
Recap: Devils @ Rangers - 03/30/2009 [NHL.com]

A few weeks ago, Avery was sent to the Rangers' AHL affiliate, with the unspoken understanding that when he was ready to come back to the bigs, New York would claim him on re-entry. John Tortorella, an analyst for TSN, thought that was a horrible idea and said so on the air. It's safe to say that he is not a fan of Avery.

Right after the December incident in Calgary in which Avery made crude and intemperate remarks about former girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert: Tortorella said this on TSN:

"The league stepped up here and I think they did the right thing. Enough is enough.

"He's embarrassed himself, he's embarrassed the organization, he's embarrassed the league and he's embarrassed his teammates, who have to look out for him. Send him home. He doesn't belong in the league."

Of course, when that "trade" to the Rangers was hatched in early February, Tom Renney was still the coach in New York. But he was fired last week and replaced by ... let's see here ... John Tortorella! How about that? So will John have to eat his words now and pretend he's on board with Avery or is the whole deal off? The Rangers playoffs hopes made depend on that answer.

And there's always the possibility that some other desperate team will swoop and grab Avery first. This whole situation has gotten very ... what's the word I'm looking for? Messy? Slippery? I'll think of it ...

The looming showdown: John Tortorella vs. Sean Avery [National Post]

No fewer than three citizen journalists were close enough to the action at the Devils-Rangers game last night to catch these two boisterous New York gentlemen being politely removed by security. The lesson here is that you will never do anything embarrassing for the rest of your days that will not be captured on video and placed on the internet.

The good news is that Rangers won, 5-2. It was only the third time in 101 meetings that they have faced a Devils goalie who was not named Martin Brodeur. Not that these boys were around to see it or anything.

Devils Security Takes on Rangers Fan In Jersey [Hugging Harold Reyonlds]

Cherepanov was not actually signed to an NHL contract and therefore is "technically eligible to be drafted again" even though he is "technically" dead. The Rangers feel that entitles them to a second-round compensation pick in the 2009 entry draft. That's ... fair? But I think it's the touching and compassionate way that the Rangers have addressed the issue that really drives home the pain that Alexei's death has caused.

"It seems now as if that phrase is unintentionally precluding the deceased from being included as eligible for compensation. We understand that this is a sensitive issue, but with all due respect to Alexei's family and his memory, he is technically eligible to be drafted again next year.

We are not attempting to capitalize on a tragedy, but there would be no question regarding the Rangers' right to a compensatory pick if Cherepanov had been revived and survived the incident and were on life support ... If an unsigned player sustained a massive injury on or off the ice, the drafting team would get a compensatory pick."

See? Even if this 19-year-old kid was merely stuck in a persistent vegetative state, the Bruins would still probably draft him and then everyone would agree that New York deserves redress. Everyone just deals with grief in their own way.

With all due respect ... that's kinda fucked up.

RANGERS SEEK PICK FOR LATE PROSPECT [NY Post]
Report: Rangers seek draft pick in wake of Cherepanov's death [ESPN]

Meanwhile in Stockholm, Ottawa and Pittsburgh split their two games series, a 4-3 OT win to the Penguins in game one and 3-1 to Senators in the other. Dany Heatley has three goals so far for the Sens, earning him the title of Champion of European NHL Scoring. All four of those games were sold out too, making this whole European vacation a raging success—unless these teams lose 7 of their first 10 games the way the Ducks did last season after they opened in London. In which, case screw you, Earth, and your stupid rotation. But otherwise, look for many more across the pond games in coming seasons, because ... why the heck not? Hockey pucks are certainly more welcome than Robo-Jason Taylor.

Now hockey fans (and yes, it may not seem like it right now, but we count ourselves among that group. The NHL just doesn't make it easy for us) must sit patiently and wait for the real season kick off on Friday. That's plenty of time to find a way to freeze over your backyard kiddie pool.

• Rangers Czech in with win, [NY Daily News]
• Senators: Losing their looks [Sportsnet]
• NHL Capsules [AP]
• Trips abroad can help forge team ties [Yahoo]

We hooked you up with a little preview yesterday, with some links for your amusement. There are eight games on tap for you puck heads today, so enjoy. Feel free to hang out here and trade jabs all afternoon. Just clean up after yourselves...I'm not mopping up any blood. UPDATE: There is a live blog going on over at Going Five Hole starting at 11:45.

12:00pm ET — Rangers at Lightning [CBC (HD),RDS (HD),NHLN-US,MSG (HD),SUN]
2:30 pm ET — Penguins at Senators [RIS,CBC (HD),NHLN-US,FSN-P (HD)]
4:00 pm ET — Islanders at Bruins
7:00 pm ET — Red Wings at Maple Leafs [Leafs TV]
7:00 pm ET — Wild at Canadiens
7:00 pm ET — Flyers at Devils
7:00 pm ET — Blues at Thrashers
10:00 pn ET — Kings at Coyotes

Surprise! It's Hockey Season! [Deadspin]

He started his internship on Monday, and he's already digging in.

Observers say he's involved in all sections of the magazine, including features and accessories, and attends edit meetings. And while Avery pulled down $2 million last year with the Rangers, he's earning minimum wage for his time at Vogue, a magazine spokesman confirmed, denying speculation Avery was being paid $5,000 for his summer job.

You know, we're not sure why those are different: A minimum wage job for the summer is probably gonna be around $5,000, if not a little more. But nevermind that. We hope this means the inevitable bitchfights around the typical fashion magazine office now involve an actual dropping of the gloves. We want the next Vogue cover model to be toothless, and sporting a mullet.

Reporting For Duty [Women's Wear Daily]

Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged it off the goal post. Fellow former Pen Martin Straka got the scoring started, followed a slightly high deflection by Chris Drury and not at all detestable Sean Avery. Straka drew a critical interference call late in the 3rd period that set up the winning goal off Malkin's shin.

• Good Morrow, Sir. Brenden Morrow had two goals, including the game winner in OT to open the Stars series with the Sharks, who now lose home ice advantage after needing seven to take out Calgary. Morrow already has five goals in these playoffs, eclipsing by two his previous career high.
• John H. McConnell, 1923-2008. The majority owner of the Blue Jackets passed away yesterday, casting further uncertainty over the future of the franchise. The Blue Jackets had one of the best expansion seasons in league history in 2000, but failed to live up to the expectations the following year. McConnell was the rare owner to apologize to fans after not meeting expectations.

From Paul's First Letter To The Russians: So the Prophecy according to Bettman didn't come together exactly. The free will of the orange-clad mortal Joffrey Lupul in DC Tuesday night may have altered a few plans. The first of many playoff battles between the league two great young talents, Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin, just got pushed off until the next testament.

But what's the point of a good Christian fable when Hockey Jesus and his gym class rival lace them up for seven long games? Where's the damn intrigue? The hellfire and the damnation? In a battle of Good vs. Good, Good's probably going to pull it out, even if the victor may be a Geico caveman every now and then.

You want a good story? You're going to need Evil in the Conference Semis.

Enter the New York Rangers. Even though the Commish couldn't get a dream matchup of his two marquee stars, it never hurts to have the league's biggest TV market alive and well in Round 2. After dispatching the Devils in a quick 5, the Blueshirts have been waiting patiently to cast the first stones at Marc-Andre Fleury, the only unbeaten netminder of this postseason. The obvious storyline to gravitate towards would be that of Jaromir Jagr, who spent his early years winning games and avoiding barber shops in Steel Town. He's back to remind you yinzers where he came from. And to stay off his lawn.

But here's the crazy thing. While New York postseason stories are often about just one star player, this Ranger squad actually plays like a complete team. Other than Michal Rosival and Marc Staal, everyone's ice time stayed below 20 minutes in Round 1. And every player not on that dreadful fourth line put the plus in plus/minus. Coach Tom Renney saw his team dispatch New Jersey as a unit, making it easy to fill in the same lineup card each night.

OK, someone fire up the organ. Crank that hymn.

It's true that Ottawa didn't exactly bring their 'A' Game to Pennsylvania, but even if they had, the Pittsburgh Penguins were ready for them. When a team plays dominant hockey, when every battle in the corner comes up in their favor, the stars of the team tend to work on the little things. Hockey Jesus, for example, worked on his passing; his 6 assists have him tied for the league lead. Jordan Staal started winning face-offs once more. And Gary Roberts would like all his fellow members of the Class of 1984 Entry Draft that the reunion will be held at the Radisson in Murraysville once the playoffs are over.

Sure, this is all nice analysis. But you were saying something about a Holy War?

Oh, right. Sean Avery's a New York Ranger, and is the complete opposite of the salvation Crosby's offering to bring the hockey world. Here his is modeling his trademarked Punch Me in the Face Eyewear. Available at concourse fan stands everywhere, as well as NHL.com Shop.

Prediction: Penguins in 7, Avery with 23 PIM.