Does anyone else see delicious irony in the fact that the world's premiere poker commentator hates statistics? Does Phil Hellmuth win because he's "scrappy" or a "grinder?" And, haha, not "grinder" in the poker sense, which means someone who uses superior understandings of odds and consistent play to make a living playing cards.
Little known fact: Norman Chad has been having a torrid affair with his assistant Shirley since 1986, which was the cause of his first divorce. She became pregnant with his love child, and Chad demanded she terminate the pregnancy, all the while refusing to pay for the procedure.
Thus, the beloved "Pay the man, Shirley," bit of $1.25 that goes out to lucky readers each week- serving as a touching joke between writer and assistant.
Sadly, Chad has failed to pay a dime of the $642 a month in child support that Norman Thelonious Chad II has been due since his birth.
Frankly, I thought I had stumbled onto a crime story and was about to digest a police toxicology report. But it was an article on ERA and what affects it.
Crime affects ERA, Norm. Look at Donnie Moore. His career went right into the shitter after he shot his wife and killed himself.
with a magnifying glass, you can figure out how a hitter does better when the count is 2-0 rather than 0-2.
At first I thought "no one owns a magnifying glass these days!" Then I remembered my ancient great uncle kept one on the coffee table next to the couch wrapped in plastic so he could read his mail and newspapers.
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House.
So back in 2005, right after their "restoration," I'm there with a couple of buddies, just hoping for once that we get a decent Don Carlo. Except we're surrounded by fat wops who you can hear just audibly breathing. That's what you get there, time after time. All wearing tuxedos from fucking seven years ago of course. One of my buddies starting popping off at one of them, next thing you know we're in the lobby at intermission and this greasy bastard pours an entire bottle of pinot nero (a ripoff anyways at 45000 lira) over my dude's head. Unbelievable, but a fucking typical night at La Scala. (P. De Luca)
Make up your mind, Norman. Do you want to be The Couch Slouch or do you want to be the guy who writes taglines for horror movie posters? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!
Does Norman Chad acquire all of his knowledge from sources found in a hotel lobby? Can he give me information on the best time to take a Duck Tour or where I can find drastically reduced prices on Disney souvenirs?
Just got to point out, that an increase of .15 pitches per plate appearance over 40 ABs in the course of a game = about 6 pitches. I'm gonna argue that that number is relatively meaningless.
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Thus, the beloved "Pay the man, Shirley," bit of $1.25 that goes out to lucky readers each week- serving as a touching joke between writer and assistant.
Sadly, Chad has failed to pay a dime of the $642 a month in child support that Norman Thelonious Chad II has been due since his birth.
09/16/09
Crime affects ERA, Norm. Look at Donnie Moore. His career went right into the shitter after he shot his wife and killed himself.
09/16/09
At first I thought "no one owns a magnifying glass these days!" Then I remembered my ancient great uncle kept one on the coffee table next to the couch wrapped in plastic so he could read his mail and newspapers.
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Well, to be fair, he did invent the word "chesterfield."
09/16/09
So back in 2005, right after their "restoration," I'm there with a couple of buddies, just hoping for once that we get a decent Don Carlo. Except we're surrounded by fat wops who you can hear just audibly breathing. That's what you get there, time after time. All wearing tuxedos from fucking seven years ago of course. One of my buddies starting popping off at one of them, next thing you know we're in the lobby at intermission and this greasy bastard pours an entire bottle of pinot nero (a ripoff anyways at 45000 lira) over my dude's head. Unbelievable, but a fucking typical night at La Scala. (P. De Luca)
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Make up your mind, Norman. Do you want to be The Couch Slouch or do you want to be the guy who writes taglines for horror movie posters? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!
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In fairness, the first guy mentioned in the story was Jim Leyritz.
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Just kidding. It's a Norman Chad article
Oh thank god. I expected Craggs to be a real asshole and have the whole thing written in Italian.
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