notworldfuckingchampions Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....

The 2009 New York Mets: A Season Of Failure
The New York Mets are not the worst team in baseball. They are not even the most ineptly run franchise in their own division. Yet, their 2009 campaign may have forever redefined the concept of losing....

Mets Third Base Coach Does Not Like My Pants And Will Not Eat My Poop Sandwich (UPDATE)
One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them....

Mets Dream Season Continues
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Even Babies Know The Mets Deserve To Get Puked On
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Bah, He's Safe
Daniel Murphy resorts to Globetrotter trickery to help save the Mets season. This will not be enough. [ESPN]...

Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...

The New York Mets Have A Furry Run-In On Road Trip
Those injury-riddled New York Bastard Mets have struggled recently, so this recent road trip could serve as a self-reflective haven for players, coaches, and media. Unless the Pittsburgh hotel they're staying in is having a furry convention....

Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....

Citi Field Streaking Jabroni Faces Stiff Consequences
38-year-old Craig Coakley made a bet with his boss that he'd streak across Citi Field with a stuffed monkey jockstrap. He succeeded! Now he's never allowed back to Citi Field again....

Citi Field Security Cracks Down On Sprawling Negativity
Apparently the Citi Field security goons are over-sensitive this year. Two times last week they took away signs from fans. First was the K's controversy. Then there's this incident....

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: Faith And Fear In Flushing
Sigh. Here we go. "Faith And Fear In Flushing: An Intense Personal History Of The New York Mets" is not a book I'd promote on this site unless it was really, really good....

This Is Why You Will Always Be Horrible, You Bastard Mets
Phillies fan works St. John's/Georgetown game on Sunday is asked to take his Fightins' jacket off. Does he do it? No! He leaves Citi Field instead. Brilliant. [The 700 Level]...

Carlos Beltran Responds To Cole Hamels' "Choke Artist" Comment
"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation." [NYDN]...

J.C. Romero Situation Gives Deputized Met Fan Reason To Complain
Yes, recently suspended pitcher J.C. Romero did work in (and win) two World Series games this year. Once again, Dan, strident Mets fan, has emailed in his thoughts....

Get Fired Up, Mets Fans
Andruw Jones could be coming to underwhelm and frustrate you in 2009. [ESPN]...

Mets Fans Don't Like Being Called Choke Artists
Cole Hamels has angered Mets fans. Once again, emailer Dan, has been deputized Deadspin Mets correspondent for this afternoon....

Mets Shore Up Their Crappy Bullpen
And Mets fans have reminded me several times that I have yet to post this news. Like Dan, who sent the email featured below. He's been deputized Deadspin Mets correspondent for this afternoon....