Don't be too alarmed — it's only three seconds of pretty standard grunt-heavy missionary sex on the bathroom floor, nabbed by this citizen journalist who, along with many others at Dallas Stadium last night, witnessed this display. My friend, who was at the game, said many Cowboys fans were startled by the odd noises coming from the Hall of Fame box level bathroom stall, where a couple clad in Michael Irvin jerseys were "totally banging" at the end of the 4th quarter when the Cowboys had pretty much wrapped it up. The commotion soon became very, very public and many fans equipped with cellphone cameras ran into the stall to snap pictures. Luckily, our guy had video and stuck his hand over the stall like a true professional voyeur and caught a a few mighty thrusts during Irvin on Irvin.

After the couple was finished (my friend says this was done via hand, for some reason — so old school) the two people walked out from the bathroom and were greeted by raucous applause. One onlooker yelled "See you on YouTube!" and the happy man graciously replied "Bring it on!" Of course he did.

Now, whether Jerry Jones will take it upon himself to fuck-proof the roomy Hall of Fame bathroom stalls from here on out is yet to be seen, but since he has Cowboys cage dancers and plenty of other carnival-like attractions going on, a little public fornication probably won't faze him too much.

Dallas Cowboy Stadium, ladies and gentlemen — fun for the whole family.

An insomniac Deadspin reader was flipping through the channels in his south Texas abode early Saturday morning (or late Friday night, if you prefer) when this not-unpleasing-to-the-eye image gave him pause. Thankfully, for the good of humanity, he had a camera handy. Either Time Warner Cable is having trouble keeping the porn out of their non-porn feeds or an ESPNU employee was making a strong statement about Duke basketball.

Interestingly, the same thing happened last Sunday in Waco, where Time Warner Cable customers watching a PBS telethon were surprised by a 5-second switch from PBS to pubis. It was probably the most action those viewers had gotten in years. Between that and the infamous Super Bowl Porn incident earlier this year, we're looking at a possible porno pandemic. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Now who's to say that the eye-catching Northwest-pointing bulge in partner Marc Ballas' pants is actually an unwieldy erection or a funny camera angle that, you know, gives him the appearance of having an unwieldy erection. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Regardless of how short her shorts are (and his, for that matter) he is a professional dancer, who grinds against people for a living and is presumably skilled at maintaining flaccidity during routines. But he is wearing a headband. Maybe that did it.

Luckily for Johnson, her stalker, Robert O' Ryan, looks as if he'll be going to jail for a very long time. The same cannot be said about that thing poking out of Ballas' pants, which is still on the loose.

(Thanks to Rudy The Reader for the tip.)

A USC student sent this to us and wanted it added to the official Deadspin record, so here you go.

Deadspin: Not sure how often this pic has been passed around, but first time I've seen it. Some jagoff soiling an otherwise tremendous picture of our beloved Song Girls straight chillaxin.

Yeah ... move along out of the shot there, Larry.

Update: The girl in the middle is Lindsey, and Busted Coverage was on the scene way before this photo was sent to us.

Kingsley is the girl featured in the 30-second porn clip that surprised 80,000 Comcast customers in the Tucson area during the Super Bowl on Sunday. The stealth porn attack turned out, in effect, to be the game's most effective Super Bowl ad; and it didn't cost her employer, Jenna Jameson's Jenna Club, a thing. Now Kingsley is basking in the glory — not unlike Santonio Holmes, only sans Mickey Mouse — and can hardly keep up with interview requests. Here's an excerpt of one she did today with Intentional Foul.

IF: What are your thoughts on your new found fame?

TK: Initially, I was shocked when I found out, then very excited. Realizing thousands of people got to see me makes me happy. The increased recognition is also a bonus, as is the publicity, which should lead to more work.

IF: Are there plans to capitalize off of Sunday’s mishap?

TK: We’ve discussed making a spoof movie of the Super Bowl.

Here's a short excerpt of an interview she did last year (link NSFW), which I find more interesting, and much funnier.

RAY: Where are you from?

TRISTAN: I’m from northern California. The bay area, San Jose.

RAY: Why did you move to L.A?

TRISTAN: For porn. And a change of pace.

Hey, same as Baron Davis.

Super Bowl Porn: Tristan Kingsley Speaks [Intentional Foul]

For those Cardinals fans who claimed that Larry Fitzgerald's fourth-quarter touchdown catch was better than sex, they got a quick chance to compare. Immediately following the TD, instead of a replay, some Tucson area Comcast viewers got an eyeful of some full frontal male nudity from Club Jenna, an adult cable station. The porn flick images lasted anywhere from 10 to 30 seconds, according to which reports you read.

Fleshbot has the extremely NSFW video.

"KVOA will continue to investigate what happened to our clean signal and make sure our viewers get answers," Nielsen said in the statement. Comcast spokeswoman Tracy Baumgartner confirmed that the company's standard feed was interrupted during the Super Bowl, although she said its high definition feed was not.

Baumgartner said engineers at Philadelphia-based Comcast were investigating Sunday night. Tucson media outlets reported that they received calls from irate viewers about the pornographic material. Joel Hilander of Tucson told The Associated Press that he and his young children saw the clip. "I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't believe that my children were watching it either," Hilander said.

(Innocent children were not the only victims).

For more on this breaking story, let's go to the Arizona Daily Star message board:

• Yes, they did. I had two teenagers and a 10 year old watching the game with me and they all saw every graphic segment of it. What on earth is Comcast doing? I can't believe I pay them. — Celeste L. (Watchdog), February 1,2009 @ 8:35PM

• I saw it. Definitely about 30 seconds of a porn flick. — Kathy K. (kmkahle), February 1,2009 @ 8:35PM

• It was pretty bad. A Keith Urban-type guy is sitting down, and there's a woman next to him and she appears to have her hands down his pants. Then he gets up, and his pants drop, and there's a full reveal. It happened right after the Cards' last touchdown, so I wonder if there was a hacker/steelers fan on the loose at Comcast. — Gin R. (AZPainter), February 1,2009 @ 8:48PM

• This was disgusting and heads should roll. I would love to have someone come and explain this to my first grade students tomorrow! I am canceling my Comcast subscription tomorrow and I hope that all the other Comcast members do also. — jammie s. (densan), February 1,2009 @ 8:36PM

• OMG! I am SOOO angry about this. I don't think I will be watching the super bowl anymore. I had just called my teenaged daughter in to have her watch the replay of the last play. And then that comes on. I am furious. And it kinda kept you watching cuz you were thinking, 'ok, this HAS to be part of a really bad commerical' — Ann C. (backroadsann), February 1,2009 @ 8:41PM

• I had a 2 and a 7 year-old in the room and it was totally disgusting. Comcast better get ready to give all subscribers at least one free month of service for having to be subject to this filth! — Lisa D. (lisamb27), February 1,2009 @ 8:42PM

• My 88 year old neighbor lady called to verify if we had seen the same thing that she saw......she says she has a new lease on life!!!! — Keri H. (Keri), February 1,2009 @ 8:49PM

• Dang! I had a full living room of kids from 3-17 and their friends!!! What a horrible thing to happen! I'm going to have to disconnect...I can't trust that it won't happen during Barney or Sesame Street! — Tess L. (TucsonTess), February 1,2009 @ 8:58PM

• Yeah, well they interrupted my porn movie with 30 seconds of super bowl action. Nothing quite so disgusting as full-frontal football. Yeech. — Rowan D. (RowD1), February 1,2009 @ 8:58PM

Station Says Porn Clip Interrupted Super Bowl [Yahoo News]
Porn Interrupts Super Bowl Broadcast In Tucson [Arizona Daily Star]

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Now Is This Considered Southern Justice?

Not sure how much of this you've heard, but I have a friend in the Miami Heat organization. He told me that D-Wade (whose marriage is in divorce proceedings) took a horrifying turn when his wife (who mysteriously picked up Herpes) demanded a list of all the girls he slept with while they were married.
You may know that D-Wade is now with Gabrielle Union and happy. But when his wife initially found out she got a dose of the nasty stuff....she apparently placed all his NBA stuff in the living room: His MVP trophy, and all sorts of other shit that meant the world to him. While D-Wade wasn't home, his wife took a baseball bat to all his stuff and bashed the fucked out of them for him to find when he got home.

ME NO UNDERSTAND YOU, SIR

HEY THERE AJD@DEADPSIN (WOW COOL LAST NAME)

U THINK U CAN HELPO ME SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT MY JERRY MANUEL VIDEO GAME ENTITRITLEED "U R JERRY AND JERRY IS U!?:

http://urjerrygame.blogspot.com/

like PUT MY LINK ON URS SITE MAYBE SORTZ? OR JUST TELL PEOPE LABOUT IT GOTT SPREAD THERD THIS COULD BGE GOOD FOR XBOX/MICROSTOT/PS3/NINTENTONP MAYBE?


But She Has Veins In Her Hip Bones

After decades in the industry as a celebrated non-commercial photographer, Los Angeles photographer John Stutz has recently published his highly-anticipated first collection of works in a beautifully crafted book titled Fit Girls, Volume 1 – providing examples of what truly motivated women can achieve with determination and focus. Many of the women in the book are former Miss Universe or Miss Olympia...Within Fit Girls, John reveals inspiring images of the exquisiteness found in the subtle curves of a perfectly sculpted body – women that enhance the natural beauty of the human form...The first of two volumes, Fit Girls, Volume 1 is, from cover to cover, a telling example of John’s dedication to the art form. Volume 1 is an enormous 320-page, 10-lb book with a magnificent leather cover.

Oh, You Do, Do You?

I see my story was posted...

Like I said, don't know if it is true but hilaruious regardless....

I have several connections in the sports world...one involves Amy Mickelson banging Michael Jordan.......

Yep, These Are My Seats

Here's a pic (from my tv) of Bill Simmons at the Clippers game last nite..
I used it in this post
http://youbeenblinded.com/the-fire-super-bowl-edition/2710

but i thought you guys MIGHT find it funny..

Have a good one fellas..

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Chizik will be missed at Iowa State

Attached is a print screen from Iowa State central campus webcam that I saw over break. Someone’s unhappy apparently.

Chizik is also not a big fan of "Saltines"

love Sir Charles. Dude cuts right to the chase. Of all the grumbling from Charles Barkley over the hiring of Gene Chizik by his alma mater, the most interesting bit was in an interview I read on ESPN.com. In it, Barkley talks about how Turner Gill told him he was concerned about taking the job at Auburn because he's an African American and his wife is white.

Some bubbas have come a long way in 30 years. And some haven't.

What's interesting about what Gill (allegedly) said is that it reminded me of a conversation I had with an Iowa State staffer last summer. In the 2007 Cyclone football media guides, the pictures of the assistant coaches with their families, a staple of the Dan McCarney years, were now mysteriously gone.

At first, I thought it strange — media guides nowadays are more geared toward recruits than they are toward reporters, and most programs like using them to promote the idea of a 'family' presence.

I asked someone about this, and was told — and I'm paraphrasing here — that coach Chizik didn't want the family pictures in there because some of his African American assistants were married to white women.

To which I replied: "Did anyone tell him that no one up here cares?" Some black assistants on McCarney's staff, including running backs coach Tony Alford, were in mixed-race marriages, pictures of their families ran in the media guides for years, and nobody said a peep about it.

This is the 21st century. It's a non-issue. Or, at least, it should be.

I have no idea if this actually was Chizik's edict, but in hindsight, you wonder. Another example: The life-skills-adviser story would barely have made a ripple in Alabama, and Gene seemed completely befuddled as to why it was such a big deal here.

Bottom line? Bad fit. Simple as that.

Sir, did this cruise you were on offer complimentary mescaline?

Thought I would keep the Erin Andrews theme going. This is my buddy Nick and Erin Andrews topless on a cruise. She whispered to me "Go Bruins" after the picture. She is really sweet, as everyone has said previously.

This video better not have any dong

It's the pesky NFL pr guy. Thought you would be interested in seeing our holiday card.

You can post on your site, and no, one of our lawyers won't send you a follow-up holiday email of a different kind.

Take care and Happy Holidays,
BMc

http://img.ed4.net/nfl/2008/0000_holiday_card/build_04.html

Oh, that makes perfect sense

Have you ever wondered why Kevin Youkilis grows that disgusting goatee of his? A friend of mine who worked at the Red Sox says it's because he has herpes and the goatee covers the lip sores (not that this is anything you can publish). Great mental image there, right?

Gwendolyn Royer really understands our demographic

Hi AJ,

As a reminder, GOLDILOCKS AND THE 3 BEARS released on DVD yesterday, December 16th. Thanks to those of you who have sent me the link to your coverage, you do not need to send it again. If you haven’t already done so, I would really appreciate it if you can post your coverage as soon as you can. As always, please send me the link when your coverage goes live.

I have attached a really cute GOLDILOCKS AND THE 3 BEARS activity sheet as well if you would like to post this on your site. Thank you!

Best,

Gwen

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...

Erin Andrews Is The Angel Of New Jersey

Seeing that photo of Erin on the gave me the idea to share the following story, along with attached photo...

Last Thursday, Ms. Andrews was working the Rutgers-Louisville game at Rutgers Stadium. I happen to work for a Rutgers media outlet and was to be at the game, so I was obviously going to be on Erin Andrews watch.

Ahead to the fourth quarter...Rutgers is completely teabagging Louisville, so I decided to hang out on the field until the end of the game. My two friends came down as well. I'm looking all around for Erin. We then realize that she's standing no more than ten feet away. For twenty minutes, we stand there, trying to figure out what to do. Someone has to have the balls to talk to her. I didn't. I'm far too gay, apparently. But, one of the other guys I was with said fuck this, I'm gonna do it. So he goes up to Erin, small talks her for a little bit (I'm such a big fan!) and asks for a photo. Now, it's still the fourth quarter, so she responds by saying "I can't right now, but I absolutely PROMISE I will do it after the game."

It's senior night at Rutgers. The best quarterback in the program's history (Mike Teel) just threw for 450 yards and seven touchdown passes during his final home game. After the game, Teel conducted the band playing the alma-mater with "the sword," which is carried by the "real" Scarlet Knight. Anyway, instead of walking to the other side of the field and basking in this absolutely glorious moment, we stand on the field, trying to figure out how to go about this Erin situation. She did her postgame interview with Teel, and then walked into the ESPN tent on the sideline. She's in there for at least twenty minutes. We wait. We stalk. We get nervous. SHE PROMISED. If Erin Andrews breaks her promise...well I don't know what I would have done. Probably cry.

But, alas, she comes out. She's all done up, looking great. I like to think it was for us. Don't ruin it for me. She kept her promise. Says something like "I appreciate you guys for waiting." She then asks for a camera and summons a cop to take the picture. After the photo is taken, she says "Thank you guys so much," smiles, thanks the cop, and walks away. I was amazed at how nice and sweet she was. I mean, yeah, she's a real person. Kind of. Actually, she's not a real person. Erin Andrews is an angel among us mere mortals.
Ryan Howard Loves The MANG! (Redux)



Ryan howard with a girl I know...not sure why she changed outfits but im positive that she did everything she could to fuck him. No idea if she was successful though.
Pantsless Panda Party!

So this just came across my inbox. It's a picture (though two years old) of a quartet of University of Alberta Pandas basketball players doing a little skinny dipping on a beach somewhere. Apparently it was pulled off someone's facebook. Anyways, the players from left to right are Meghan Knowles, Ashley Wigg, Kara Stevens (no longer with the team), and Alysia Rissling.

Kenard Lang Loves To Drop Towels Too

I realize that I can't top the Hugh Douglas interview, but I thought I'd drop you a line to let you know that when I briefly covered the NFL for my college newspaper, defensive end Kenard Lang (then with the Browns; also played with Washington and Denver) loved him some naked-time.

I actually submitted this story (and several others) to Will in 2005 when Deadspin was doing its "Athlete Run-Ins" series. The gist is that my buddy's girlfriend was the paper's editor, so I convinced her to issue us press passes and we got ourselves into the Browns' lockerroom in 2003. We had a fake dictaphone and everything. After visiting running backs and the offensive line (where we discussed their favorite orders at McDonald's and Taco Bell), we made our way over to the defensive line and joined a group of about six (real) reporters interviewing DT Orpheus Roye. When my turn came up to ask I said "Orpheus, I have you rated as the number two defensive tackle in my fantasy draft, behind only Marcus Stroud. What do you think about that?" The reporters all chuckled, but I don't think Orpheus got the joke. Fortunately the "interview" was disrupted by a very big, very wet, very hairy, very naked Kenard Lang. He just jumped right into the circle and started cracking jokes and asking questions of his own, sans towel. From what I gather, Lang doing naked interviews of teammates was a regular occurrence during his tenure with the Browns. Good times.

John Clayton Says He Wasn't Even Near The Building At The Time

Yesterday on NFL countdown around 12:10 PM EST, I think I heard someone pass gas loudly on air. I can't remember exactly what they were talking about, but Chris Berman was talking and I could have sworn that I heard someone pass gas on air. About 30-60 seconds afterwards, I saw Cris Carter make a funny face. Please investigate because I am driving myself crazy thinking that I heard this.

Somebody Get One Of These

Hey, I found this bizarre Craigslist posting for a block of cheese with a portrait of Andy Reid carved into it, thought you might be interested.

Are You There God? It's Me Crazy-Ass

Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen! I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way! Her close friend Serge G. P.S. CONTROLLING ACTIVITY OF ANY CLONES IS US MILITARY OPERATION. H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more. These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

Here we go.

Man, I'd hate to be Chris Cooley right now. But who is it? KOGOD thinks it might be this guy, but I really can't tell at all. Either way, I sure hope Coach Childress doesn't catch wind of any of this.

Whoops. The weekend's almost over, people. Enjoy your penis while you can, and thanks a ton to everyone that sent in images!

Censored image via the delightfully puritanical TSB

• I did not see that coming: Michael Phelps, blah blah, stripper girlfriend, blah ... wait, is that Duce Staley? [PSAMP]

• Hail Billy?: The Flutie family continues to marvel and amaze. Yes, on the football field. [The 700 Level]

• Open up and say "Tiger": Finally, a genetic test that will tell you which sports will destroy all your child's hopes and dreams after you force them into a relentless and ultimately failed pursuit of a professional contract. [West Word]

• Too Sooner?: The BCS computers aren't biased, huh? Then how did Bob Stoops get Oklahoma's 8 electoral votes? [The Sports Culture]

"Champion" is the story of female martial artists who fight and love and fight some more and then just get buck wild all over each other:

Jessie Easton (Syd Blakovich) is a hotshot martial artist in the fight of her life… and for her life. While training for the fight that will make or break her career, she is also haunted by her relationship with her ex-girlfriend (Jiz Lee) and confronted with her attraction to Violet Vahn… her opponent. And her nemesis, Bobby Malone, is demanding that she throw the fight, or else. Jessie never loses, but this time, what does winning actually mean?

Keep in mind, these are real lesbians—not the fake porn lesbians you're probably used to. The movie even has real cage-fighters in it, so all the action (in and out of the ring) is extremely authentic. The company behind it, Pink and White Productions, is one of the few that makes movies marketed directly to women who love women. (You know, with plot and stuff.) You can head over to Fleshbot if you want to see the full-on hardcore trailer, but just so you're prepared, it's pretty raw stuff.

But if bloody and bruised cauliflower ear drives you wild, surely you tough guys can handle some girl-on-girl action, right?

MMA Lesbian Fighters, don't worry its art house porn [Watch Kalib Run]
:: exclusive: Champion by Pink and White Productions [Tiny Nibbles, NSFW]
One Champion To Sex Them All [Fleshbot, Not At All SFW]

Each year, ESPN "The Magazine" trots out special issues like the goofy jocks-are-in-charge issue one when they let a professional athlete play editor for the week. (Remember one year Matt Leinart did this. Yeah, it'll probably be a long time before he gets on the cover again.) This year the mag has enlisted the help of grunty, long-legged tennis player Maria Sharapova to put her own distinct editorial flourish on it. According to the email sent out to the ESPN magazine staff, she's, not surprisingly, going with a fashion-oriented issue — but could use some more help:

Folks,

Maria Sharapova is going to be the "Editor-in-Chief" of our Athletes Issue. She accepted this responsibility with great enthusiasm and would like, for an issue, to focus her efforts for the Magazine toward revamping the fashion-sense of America's favorite athletes. She has two ideas:

-The make-over. She wants to redo the style of LeBron (even though he only wears Ralph Lauren's premium label), Carmelo Anthony, Reggie Bush etc.
-The Best Dressed/Worst Dressed list. It's debut in our pages.

Why am I going on about this? Because we need to come up with some other things she can do in addition (or in place of) the above. Ideally, some of you have ideas that put to use her interest in style and applies it to our pages. I'd love to hear any and all thoughts on the matter. There are no stupid ideas. Please take a few minutes and ask yourself "If Maria Sharapova were my boss for a day, how could she make the magazine better?" And then send me what you come up with. By Wednesday, please.

I predict there will be a lot of "Less words, more creepy up-skirt shots of Sharapova" suggestions from the staff for the sake of job security. Gotta move those suckers off the newsstands if they're going to survive the downturn in ad pages.

ESPN The Magazine [ESPN.com]

"That's what I did growing up with my church youth group," she said of helping charitable organizations like Habitat For Humanity and food pantries with the Mansfield Church of Christ.

"In addition to spreading a good image for the Patriots, you do some good things for others," she said.

Caitlin appears to be taking that good-image spreading to heart, in the form of drawing penis pictures on her drunk friend.

Pouty!