...I'll have those sessions where I just wipe and look and wipe and look and I can't ever seem to get to that end-goal "white wipe" that lets you know all the poop has been dismissed. Those sessions are awful.
Drew- Have you ever expeienced the joy of the PBM (Perfect Bowel Movement) aka Phantom Shit? You take the longest dump imaginable, wipe and come up clean as a whistle, then you stand up and the poop has magically disppeared without a flush? Downright magical.
It's not quite getting laid at an airport, but when I was 20, I chatted up a hot 30-something woman at a Midway Airport bar (I was using my fake ID) and ended up going out to her Volvo in the parking garage to smoke weed. That was a good day.
@Pete Gaines: A 20-something girl got drunk in the seat next to me on a Tuesday morning flight to Las Vegas and started showing me naked pictures of herself on her cell phone (yes I was encouraging her a bit). About 20 minutes before we landed she tried to get me to follow her into the bathroom to bang her, which I politely declined. She started throwing up over Wayne Newton's house.
Hands down the best place to use the bathroom if you're out in public is Borders or Barnes and Noble. There's never anyone in there, they're always clean because it's nothing but nerds using them and they're always discreetly placed in the back of the store down a little hallway.
If you ever need to take a shit while at Fisherman's Wharf in San Fran, walk two blocks to the B&N. I took a nice 30 min dump there and avoided the cauldron of AIDS.
Urine's cleaner than you think. Mostly just excess salts and water. In World War I it was sometimes used as bactine on the battlefield. Piss away in the shower.
It makes more sense for women to sit: 1) we always* sit,
2) we always have to wipe, and
3) we can easily reach between our legs from the front.
I don't know of any women who stand, but then I haven't spent much time watching.
*I exclude those goddamn hoverers who spray piss all over public restroom seats because "eww, the seats are too dirty to sit on." People like you are the reason for that, you filthy bitches.
@CumaeanSibyl:
1. You DONT have to sit all the time.... man did not institute that unspoken law.. grannys did.
2.Wiping is overrated... just shake whatcha mama gave ya and the drip will end. Crook your legs a bit and... VOILA!!
3. You are correct on that count!! ALWAYS wipe from front to back to avoid infection
@IamScarletSimmons: Yeah, it's a common way of dealing with fear of dirty public restrooms. Great quad workout, but always leads to spraying. *shudder*
@KaiserSoze: Sitting is easier all around. They put the seat on a toilet for just that reason. I hear they have products these days to allow women to stand while peeing, but aside from camping trips, I don't see the point.
Also: ew. The "leftover pee squelch" is second in grossness only to the "poo butt itch" described elsewhere in this thread.
If I'm in a public restroom, I want to spend as little time in there as I can, especially as little time with my ass on the seat (more specifically, on the t.p. in-between my ass and the seat) as possible.
Also, it gives the Larry Craig-wannabe in the next stall no time to make a move.
12/15/09
Drew- Have you ever expeienced the joy of the PBM (Perfect Bowel Movement) aka Phantom Shit? You take the longest dump imaginable, wipe and come up clean as a whistle, then you stand up and the poop has magically disppeared without a flush? Downright magical.
12/16/09
12/15/09
When you think about it, your hands are cleaner than your dick, so I should be washing my dick every time I touch it, not my hands
/this argument did not work with my wife
12/15/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
If you ever need to take a shit while at Fisherman's Wharf in San Fran, walk two blocks to the B&N. I took a nice 30 min dump there and avoided the cauldron of AIDS.
12/15/09
12/15/09
12/15/09
I feel they'd be more concerned by the fact that you're removing your pants entirely to even get into that Tantric Toilet position..
12/15/09
It's better than Scott Peterson, who would tell his son that his mother was killed right before he went out for a gigantic fucking holiday row.
12/15/09
For the last time, get a fucking DVR Drew.
12/15/09
Thankfully. Those things are like chocolate covered cum. Barf.
12/11/09
2) we always have to wipe, and
3) we can easily reach between our legs from the front.
I don't know of any women who stand, but then I haven't spent much time watching.
*I exclude those goddamn hoverers who spray piss all over public restroom seats because "eww, the seats are too dirty to sit on." People like you are the reason for that, you filthy bitches.
12/11/09
12/11/09
1. You DONT have to sit all the time.... man did not institute that unspoken law.. grannys did.
2.Wiping is overrated... just shake whatcha mama gave ya and the drip will end. Crook your legs a bit and... VOILA!!
3. You are correct on that count!! ALWAYS wipe from front to back to avoid infection
12/12/09
gotta be front to back when doing the devil's potty.
12/12/09
12/12/09
12/12/09
Also: ew. The "leftover pee squelch" is second in grossness only to the "poo butt itch" described elsewhere in this thread.
12/11/09
Some things you can't un-hear.
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
12/11/09
Jeez, doesn't anyone fucking knock any more?
12/11/09
Also, it gives the Larry Craig-wannabe in the next stall no time to make a move.