Birmingham City, one of the teams recently promoted to the EPL, has a player named Gary O'Connor, and to celebrate the start of the EPL season, he and his fellow BC buddies had a bit of shindig. They would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't have been for the fact that they're assholes.

The orgy turned ugly when £2.7million-rated O'Connor—whose pregnant fiancée Lisa is expecting their second child—pulled one of the vice girls by the hair and swore at her after she had stripped off ... The girls had intercourse and oral sex in the suite, on the bed and in the bathroom. Afterwards they returned to the club where they worked and complained to regulars about the way they were treated."

Soccer players, seriously, they're so cute: Where the heck is Birmingham City, anyway?

Make It Drizzle, Playboy [Deuce Of Davenport]

Sunderland keeper Ben Alnwick, 19, winger Liam Lawrence, 24, and striker Chris Brown, 21, all took part in and orgy. They were joined by ex-teammate Martin Woods, 20, now at Rotherham United, and two pals — not thought to be players — who remained clothed. The orgy, which took place in a flat, involved the six men and a mystery brunette girl — referred to as "Stevie".

The seven-minute video shows England under-21 star Alnwick winking at the camera as he has sex with her. Then Woods — still wearing his jumper — is shown performing a sex act on himself. Brown — who does Match of the Day style commentary throughout — hints their orgy antics are a regular fixture when he says of the two clothed pals: "Here's the boys — the watching faithful — every week without fail."

We have no question these types of wacky hijinks take place on a regular basis in American sports — it's why God invented the bye week! — but they just never sneak out. It's a shame too; we mean, they included commentary on the video, for cripes sake.

Keane Fury Over Roasting Romp [The Sun]