Deadspin: paintball

And So Another Member Of The Chess Team Is Born

Rick Chandler — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:00:21 EST

I can't count the number of times our inbox has been clogged with demands for more kid karate videos. Here, you maniacs! Now leave us alone for a couple of days.

Anyway, it seemed less painful than this (turn the volume down if you're at work):

I Don't Think This Is How Paintball Is Supposed To Be Played

mjdeadspin — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 19:00:00 EST

I don't know what it is about this that makes me laugh... but I sort of wish two of my friends would agree to do this while I stood there and laughed at them. I can't think of any good reason why they or anyone else would, but I'd enjoy it. From the YouTube description:

What happens when you give two people a score to settle, two non-regulation overpowered paintball guns, insufficient safety gear and a bunch of crazy rednecks to encourage them?

I don't know what score they had to settle that they thought could be best settled in this fashion. I don't know... maybe it was an argument about the south's secession for the union. But surely, there was another way to go about settling it.

When the little guy says he could've stood there and did this all day? I sort of believed him... until he took his shirt off. Draw, my ass. The little guy quit.

Crazy Southern Paintball Showdown [YouTube]

If You Were Considering Watching Paintball On TV...

mjdeadspin — Sat, 21 Jan 2006 18:41:46 EST

Don't. Because it sucks... real, real, bad. I really couldn't explain to you why, but I just caught some Ultimate Arena Paintball League action on WGN. The New England Distortion lost to the Tampa Warriors, and I wouldn't have known that if they didn't show me the score. You can't see anyone getting shot, you can't tell what the hell is going on, and I can't think of one single reason to watch. If your television only gets paintball and the 24-Hour Alex Rodriguez Grooms Himself Network... go with A-Rod.

One of the commentators just said, "If we were in Vegas, and I'm a betting man... so if I was going to put money on that game, I definitely would not have predicted that Smoke would beat the New York Shooters." You know, I've never seen paintball listed in the sportsbook before. But if I ever do, I'm going to stop by and put all my money on "league goes bankrupt before the end of the month."

Up next, the Atlanta Strange is set to square off against the Montreal NRG. I swear, I'm not making either of those names up.