paraguay Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Victor Ayala Smashes In The Goal Of The Copa America
Colombia was comfortably hammering Paraguay into the dirt until Victor Ayala picked this one up and smoked it past David Ospina to cut Paraguay’s deficit to 2-1....
Lionel Messi Turns Two Defenders Into Larry And Moe
Look at the image above. It appears to show two well-positioned Paraguayan defenders on the cusp of shepherding the ball away from Lionel Messi. Now, watch the video below, where Messi skips past one, nutmegs the other, and generally jukes them so hard that they crash into each other, left helpless ...
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
Paraguayan Soccer Player Gets Mad At Referee, Kicks Referee's Face
This happened during a Liga Regional del Sud match in Paraguay. Here's some free career advice: don't be a soccer referee in the Liga Regional del Sud in Paraguay. ...
Larissa Riquelme’s Naked Body Gets The 3-D Treatment (NSFW)
Fast forward in your mind's eye to the next World Cup and what do you see? Silly new match balls? Droning horns? Stadiums full of girls with mobile phones placed between their knockers hoping to make a fortune?...
Larissa Riquelme's Boobs Now Holding Cellphones Professionally
Everyone's favorite Paraguayan model is shilling for Nokia and is now contractually obligated to put only that company's products between her breasts. That concludes this month's installment of Larissa Riquelme news. [Metro]...
Not a Good Day for Tiger or Mistress Uchitel
PGA Championship's next week. How's Tiger doing at his warm-up event in Akron?...
Paraguay's Cellphone-Boobs Girl Robbed, Probably Shouldn't Have Shown World Where She Hid Her Cellphone
Larissa Riquelme—bust-out star of the World Cup, "owooga"-inducer, and cellphone-placement-innovator—was robbed by "bandidos" while vacationing in Rio, losing her cellphone, passport, and other "documents." More pictures, including where she's been hiding her phone Post-World Cup after the jump....
ESPN.com's Chris Jones Now "The Most Hated Man In Paraguay"
Deadspin favorite Chris Jones, Esquire's man for all seasons and an ESPN.com World Cup correspondent, dared call Paraguayan soccer "boring" the other day, and now people want to "smash [his] brain with a hummer." That's sic....
Paraguay Cellphone-Boobs Girl Says She's Received Creepy Death Threat. Or Something. (Update)
Larissa Riquelme — aka Paraguay Girl, aka Cellphone-Boobs Girl — has taken to Facebook to alert everyone that she is being threatened! Possibly! The Google-translated message after the jump....
World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-Spain (UPDATES)
One match to go before the final four is decided. Fun fact: Soccer was invented in the 17th century by a Jesuit priest in Paraguay. So sayeth the Vatican. Comment as you follow the action at home/work....
Paraguay Girl, Larissa Riquelme, Will Shed What Little Clothing She Wears If Team Wins Cup
So this girl has turned into living, breathing, boob-heaving monster. Paraguay defeated Japan on PKs and the world seems more interested in the possibility of her disrobing (which she often does) than if her country miraculously wins the World Cup....
World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-New Zealand; Slovakia-Italy
Can the All Whites eke out their first win? Will the Italians join the ignoble list of champions to not advance from the group stages? Follow along at home and comment below....
World Cup Open Thread: Slovakia-Paraguay
Good morning. Who's ready for another day of soccer action? Can Paraguay continue playing above their heads? Can Slovakia regroup after allowing a stoppage time equalizer? Follow the action and comment below....
Cell Phone-Bosomed Paraguay Girl Is The Star Of The World Cup So Far
You can be happy, the rest of your life, with a Paraguay Girl. Even the Italians, who had to settle for a troubling tie from the scrappy republic known primarily for its political unrest and its chief export, mandals....
World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....
Paraguayan Soccer Star Shot In Head, Crime Scene Photos Hit Twitter
Salvador Cabañas—a striker for Paraguay's World Cup team—was shot in the head last night in Mexico. He is in critical condition, with the bullet still lodged in his brain, but that's not going to stop ghoulish rubbernecking....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while achieving total conciousness ... • MLB: The John McLaren Era begins the way you knew it would. Royals 3, Mariners 2. • Soccer: So, is this Paraguay's version of "Do You Believe In Miracles?" Probably not. U.S. falls 3-1 at Copa. • Tennis: Nadal wins to advance at Wimbl ... no w...
Live Blog: Paraguay Vs. Trinidad & Tobago
Paraguay has been a big disappointment, losing two games 1-0 and already having been eliminated. Meanwhile, the plucky Trinidadians — Toboggans? — look unlikely to make the next round; they need a convincing victory and a blowout loss by Sweden against England. But that's more than perhaps they ex...
Live Blog: Sweden Vs. Paraguay
Remember, everyone: Everything is funnier when it is translated into the language of the Swedish Chef. Bork bork bork! Anyway, Sweden had a disappointing draw in the first round, and if they can't sneak out a win here, they could be in serious trouble with the Brits next on the docket....