A debate is raging in Happy Valley over the appropriateness of the shirt. Far be it from me to call those against it stupid by pointing out that it's, you know, a vertical blue line like the one on the Nittany Lions' iconic helmets. And far be it from me to call those for it stupid by pointing out that this shirt, meant to be worn for Beaver Stadium's "white-outs" has an awful lot of non-white on it.

But I will point out that when FOX News (who unsurprisingly were the ones to break this story), needed a quote from someone offended by a cross, they went to the campus's Jews.

There always has to be some sort of separation," said Berns, referring to the state-funded school and religious affiliation. "Me personally, I'm not going to buy the shirts and I know others at [Penn State Hillel] who won't, either."

This, of course, is similar to the situation at rival Notre Dame, where the student body protests if merchandise doesn't have a cross on it.

Cross-Like T-Shirt Design at Penn State University Sparks Controversy [FOX News]

Scott has filed a federal lawsuit against the prosecutors, his accuser and the university, saying that their overzealous pursuit of the case and the team's decision to drop him cost him a legitimate shot at a pro career. He missed half his senior season and the charges were dropped one day before the 2008 NFL draft. Obviously, he wasn't picked.

His lawyer also accused the prosecutors of misconduct, comparing the case to a "lynch mob." (The accuser was white, Scott is black.) Scott was the second Nittany Lion player in two years to be accused of rape only to have the case dropped, and the assistant district attorney who worked on both cases resigned last December "amid allegations he made inappropriate sexual advances toward a victim of domestic violence." Scott's case was dropped after the judge agreed to allow testimony revealing that his accuser had made a similar allegation against another man four years earlier. That man was acquitted.

Unfortunately, Scott's own attorney is on trial for money laundering and mail fraud charges, so the whole "that other lawyer is a crook!" meme doesn't work as well.

Despite all that, it seems Scott's case would be strongest against the university. While any court case would have certainly harmed his draft status, by not waiting until the case was resolved before kicking him off the team, Scott had no chance to showcase—or more importantly, develop—his football skills. (Even though his bio is still on the Lions' website.) He was signed as an unrestricted free agent by the Browns in 2008, but was cut during training camp.

Scott was a strong, but not phenomenal college player and plenty of guys have gotten second chances in NFL, even after being convicted of crimes. But would he be in the NFL now if he had never been accused? Does the school owe him anything? At least an apology?

Austin Scott files lawsuit against Penn State [Morning Call]
Austin Scott Case Coverage [Daily Collegian]
Player Bio: Austin Scott [Go PSU Sports]
Penn State OTR: Austin Scott Talks ... And Talks ... And Talks ... [College OTR, 2007]

Not only was yesterday's tussle in Champaign the second-lowest scoring Div. I college game in four years, but it took a late offensive barrage by the Nittanys to get the score that high; it was 31-24 Illinois with six minutes remaining. Let's go to the stats, assisted by Rush the Court:

• Only one player scored in double figures (Penn State's Taylor Battle with 11).

• The teams combined to shoot 28-of-96 (.292) from the field, and 6-of-33 (.180) from the 3-point line.

• The combined total of 71 points is the second-lowest output in Div. I in four years (since Monmouth defeated Princeton, 41-21, in 2005. Last year, George Washington beat Saint Louis 49-20, the 20 points being the lowest total for a Div. I team in the shot clock era).

• Is this box score correct? Illinois didn't attempt a single free throw? How is that even possible?

• The line for Penn State guard Stanley Pringle: 1-9 from the field, 0-2 from three, 0-0 free throws, 2 rebounds, 2 points.

I love good defense, but this simply smells like fail.

Did The Big Ten Ban The Shot Clock Tonight? [Rush The Court]

As you may recall, Pringle is the unfortunate lad who was cited in April for jackin' it in the Penn State campus library while chatting up a woman. As you might imagine, this has not gone unnoticed by Penn State's basketball opponents, who have come up with some rather creative taunts for Pringle, who is the Nittany Lions' starting point guard.

All of this has just served to motivate him, said Pringle in an article in the Virginian-Pilot.

"I've got ears," the Penn State sharpshooter said. "How can you not hear it? They're definitely trying to get in my head. It's funny, because the more noise they make, the better I seem to like it. Like when we were at Purdue, the guys were yelling all this stuff when I was at the free throw line, and I made both of them. The next time, they didn't say anything, and I missed one. I was like, 'Man!' "

Pringle is on a type of double secret probation in which he can get the charges dismissed if he stays out of trouble for one year. He actually denies that he was masturbating, by the way, and blames sites such as, well, us, for creating a story where there was none.

"It was all bull," said Pringle, who has steadfastly maintained his innocence. "One person falsely accuses you of something, and every media outlet in the world just jumps on it and blows it all out of proportion."

But about that nickname: Library Masturbator is kind of unwieldy. How about Jaxx? Motion Lotion? Extra-Glide? Let's work on this.

Ex-Landstown Star's Best Answer To Taunts Is Points [Pilot Online]

The tyke's name is Will Greiner, and this photo, while just sent to us this morning, was actually taken a year ago. And that means that Will is probably the same size as Baby Mangino today. Not shown: Tiny JoePa hairpiece.

Of course I'm going to have to apply for special dispensation from the Deadspin SHOTY Organizing Committee to get Baby JoePa on this year's ballot; but seeing that the kid's name is Will, I don't see that being a problem. In the meantime, please cast your write-in votes for Baby JoePa.

And a few SHOTY campaign videos wouldn't hurt, either. Get to work, you guys!

Lion In Training [Big Ten Network]

Penn State for women is an elegant and timeless creation. Graceful and Pure — Inspired by the beauty of Old Main. The top notes glisten with an elegant sparkling cassis. The sensual middle notes consist of Moroccan rose and evening lilac. The fragrance concludes with a lovely oriental vanilla, amber and Tahitian tonka. A sheer, sparkling fragrance for the classic Penn State woman.

And now, the most horrifying sentence in the English language: Masik also has captured the smell of the University of North Carolina.

UNC for men is a light and crisp fragrance that embodies alluring Carolina Blue in a bottle. The fragrance opens with fresh Sicilian lemon and bergamot. The aromatics extend with lavender and the subtle spice of sensual white pepper. The base notes combine a soft white amber and tonka bean. An irresistible and fresh creation for the proud Carolina man.

I picture Masik "capturing" these fragrances in much the same way that they captured those green phantasms in Ghostbusters. And don't forget, coming soon: Colognes for LSU and Alabama!

Women's Penn State Perfume [Penn State Alumni Store]
Masik Collegiate Fragrances [Official Site]
Perfume, Cologne Capture Scent Of Penn State [6ABC.com]

I bought the tickets many months ago never believing that the game would actually be meaningful (for either team), but there are actual Big Ten, Rose Bowl and BCS implications awaiting the outcome. I'm trying not to think about that, although Clay's excessive confidence in the outcome does give me hope.) Plus, it's like the biggest stadium on the planet or something and I've never seen a sporting event from the 71st row of an upper deck. (71! Who knew they went that high?)

My question is: What the heck am I supposed to do there when the game is not actually in session? I suppose I could find a tailgate to latch on to while I wait for the gates to open, but that seems like asking for trouble. So what do I need to see, eat, drink, visit or stumble over to fully enjoy the Penn State experience? You know, aside from the painfully cold winds and that incessant roaring sound over the PA system.

Penn State safety, on facing MSU: 'This is probably the biggest game I’ve been in' [Detroit Free Press]
Penn State focused on winning Big 10 title [Clearfield Progress]

Edwards channeled the JoePa mojo to catch five passes for 154 yards and a touchdown to lead the Browns 35-14 over the Giants. Eli Manning threw three interceptions, giving him plenty to review on his new video system down at the Jersey condo. More importantly, Derek Anderson threw for 310 yards and two touchdowns, pushing Brady Quinn back to second place on the depth chart perhaps for good and giving John McCain serious cause for reflection.

About the game: Did not like, Eric Wright's Deion Sanders impression during his 94-yard interception return for a touchdown. I still prefer this Eric Wright, since he owns four Super Bowl rings. Did like: The fact that the Browns did it without Kellen Winslow. Also, their throwback helmets.

So another pretty amazing upset this week, and the Browns' first Monday night win since 1993. I can't help but feel that this is all a setup for an elaborate letdown later on, but hey, the Bone Lady is partying tonight.

A Night To Remember: Explosive Browns Overwhelm Super Bowl Champ Giants, 35-14 [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

Anyway, Penn State guard Stanley Pringle was charged yesterday for getting his Mike Cooper on.

Police said Pringle, the team's point guard, sat behind the victim in the stacks section of the library, attempted to start a conversation with the woman and began masturbating. Police have filed charges of public lewdness and disorderly conduct against him in connection to the incident, but Centre County District Judge Jonathan Grine, who is out of the office, was unable to sign the criminal complaint as of 2 p.m. today. Without the signed complaint, Pringle cannot be formally arrested.

For the record, Penn State is denying the charges.

So, did this:

exhaust every possible library masturbation joke you could come up with? Let's find out.

Basketball Player To Be Charged In Library Masturbation [Daily Collegian]
Deadspin Hall Of Fame: Carl Monday [Deadspin]

(By the way, it's just great to see that video again. We miss it sometimes.)

Yes, we'll be spending our Thursday and Friday of next week live blogging the first round of the NCAA tournament — the afternoon games, anyway — and we are extremely rusty. Therefore, this little practice round of a game no one cares about but us.

Oddly, Vegas has the Illini as an eight-point favorite in this game. Clearly, Vegas hasn't watched many Illini games this year. We'll see how this goes.

Anyway, let's start it up ... after the jump.

———————————————

Final Score: Illinois 64, Penn State 63

FINAL: Chester Frazier hits a layup and ILLINI WIN GOD WE LOVE BASKETBALL NOTHING BETTER THAN MARCH.

:15: Illinois has the ball down by one. We just talked to our dad. There were expletives.

:51: There was 4:30 left when Musberger said, "Illinois starting to take control here." Since then? Penn State 11, Illinois 0. Screw off, Musberger.

LESS THAN A MINUTE TO GO PENN STATE BY ONE WHY DO WE CARE?

2:04: Two free throws gives Penn State the lead. An 11-0 run. Not even Erin Andrews can cheer us up now.

2:10: Illinois misses another shot. Penn State driving. We are now throwing things around the room, regardless.

2:51: We've seen just about enough of this Talor Battle kid; he inspires Randle to foul out and brings Penn State within one. If this is Randle's last collegiate moment, it seems about right: Looking disappointed and fouling out.

3:30: Time out with Illinois up by three. It's all crashing right here.

3:45: Make that a seven-point run. A three-point lead. We're telling you: We've been watching Illinois all season, and this looks AWFULLY familiar. If we weren't already broken down by four months of this, we'd be throwing stuff around the room. Now, we just can't muster the enthusiasm.

4:30: Musberger just said, "Illinois is starting to take control here." And, on cue, here come five straight points from Penn State.

4:52: Shaun Pruitt hit two free throws! Illinois by 10. We're due for an Erin Andrews update on Bruce Weber growing a second penis.

5:54: Taking advantage of the "Penn State Has A Guy Lying Down Hurt On The Other End Of The Floor," McCamey drives and lays it in to give Illinois an eight point lead. And JEFF JORDAN, MICHAEL'S SON is back in the game.

6:40: Trent Meacham drains a three, and Illinois has a seven-point lead. We are far from over. As if to prove it, the slappy white guy for Penn State hits his own, and it's four again.

7:35: We know we're the only one here watching this. Imagine if it were on the Big Ten Network.

8:43: A bad call that goes Illinois' way keeps the Illini with the lead. Oh, and Larry Bird is here, sitting alone in a suite. That guy isn't too happy these days.

9:25: Back to a two-point game. How in the WORLD was Illinois an eight-point favorite in this game?

10:25: Jeff Jordan isn't in the game, but, so you know, he's not Client 10. Thanks for the update!

11:38: Erin Andrews updates us on Randle's injuries, and the reciting of her name causes his spleen to burst. It's OK, Brian; same thing would happen to us.

12:19: Randle is fouled on a layup that gives Illinois a six-point lead. The bad news is that his fibromyalgia is acting up.

12:30: We love it when the ball gets stuck between the rim and the backboard. It's like watching a flipped coin land on its side. It feels like time stops.

13:32: Illinois hasn't scored in almost five minutes, but it ends with a Frazier 3-pointer. He was obviously WIDE open. Illini by four.

14:45: It's a Jeff Jordan sighting! He comes in just in time to watch Penn State come within one. In case you're wondering, Jordan's quick, smart and outstanding on defense. But man: Please don't let him shoot.

15:11: We were wondering why everyone looked so depressed, and then we remembered: They're in Indianapolis!

15:45: Pruitt going to the line before the commercial break. To save us this gruesomeness, Erin Andrews does a report. In addition to being an excellent sideline reporter, she's actually kind of pretty.

17:00: A McCamey three and a Randle jumper give the Illini a five-point lead. A note on McCamey: The guy's very talented and is one of the people Kelvin Sampson got in trouble for calling. (Grrr.) Say what you will about how great Gordon is, but he'll just be around one year. McCamey, who is kind of Gordon's replacement, should hit the whole four. If Indiana doesn't win it all this year, Illinois wins that battle.

(Yes, we're reaching.)

18:45: This game is VERY ominous. As Lavin points out, Illinois has been terrible at three and free throws all year. This game they're hitting both those ... and we're still tied. Ugh.

Second Half

Halftime: That Battle fellow once again drove through three? four? we'll call it six Illini to score at the buzzer. Illinois is up by two and should be up by 10. Alas. Andrews talks to the Penn State coach at halftime, and he looks like every accountant we've ever met.

HALFTIME: Illinois 39, Penn State 37

:41: Lavin just mentioned having a margarita! We'll call that a shoutout!

:41: Taylor Battles weaves through four Illini, and it's a two-point game. Weber quacks a timeout.

1:30: For some reason, seeing "Billy Crystal, 0-1, K," on the ESPN Bottom Line makes us angry. There's no reason for that to be the case, but it is, nevertheless.

1:46: Illinois just had a 5-on-1 break. Amazingly, the Illini scored.

2:25: This game has devolved into the brutal. This is how Illinois has lost all season; playing well enough, but not scoring much, and next thing you know ... the game's tied, and then the other team goes on a run, and then they're down by 10. This reeks of something that's just around the corner.

2:54: Ha. We're not leaving Deadspin. Who says journalism isn't done on blogs?

3:55: For a while, this was a crisp, smoothly played game between two teams playing above their heads. That didn't last long. Illinois by four, and we're not sure a single thing has happened in the last four minutes. This conference should get its own network.

4:45:: Here's your Brian Randle: He makes a great steal, drives all the way down the court ... and travels on the breakaway.

5:55: Now here's a Big Ten game for you: We've gone about three minutes without a basket. A Nittany Lions dunk brings them within four.

6:49: A Jared commercial, followed by Carlos Mencia's multicultural hour. It's gonna get so much worse during the actual tournament too.

7:15: Illinois is 6-for-11 from the 3-point line, and they're only up by six. This does not bode well.

8:12: Erin Andrews is back! She's discussing tendonitis in Chester Frazier's knee. Like listening to butter churn. Or something.

8:45: So here's something we're not used to seeing: After a Chester Frazier free throw, the Illini have a double-digit lead.

9:11: Hey, is that Giuliani?

10:10: Shawn Pruitt hit a free throw! Yowza!

10:25: Promoting their new "Black Magic" show — which looks pretty cool, actually — ESPN shows Charles Oakley in college. It seems bizarre to think of Oakley that young. We imagined him being born the age of 34. And what a painful childbirth that would have been.

10:57: We'll talk a lot about Demetri McCamey today — he hit a three just now, and the Illini are up 20-17 — but our favorite fact is that his high school coach was Gene Pingatore, otherwise known as the Bad Guy in "Hoop Dreams." He was also Isiah Thomas' coach, so we will be following McCamey QUITE closely in coming years.

13:00: This "Jones" fellow for Penn State made a layup and screamed like he was Monica Seles. Imagine how he'll scream when HE gets stabbed. Grrr.

14:15: True story: We once drank three margaritas with analyst Steve Lavin when we lived in LA (and he was still UCLA coach). He was kind of friendly, actually, and allowed us to use his hair as a seasoner.

14:45: Andrews makes her first sideline report, about all the injuries the Nittany Lions have had this year. She plays sympathy well. We love that ESPN calls its biography segments like this, "bio-blasts." That sounds either like a children's treat, or something very painful.

15:15: Musberger just said Illinois was on a "6-3 run. It has been that kind of year. Illini up 13-12 at the 15-minute break.

16:00: Shawn Pruitt lays one in down low to give Illinois a 7-6 lead. Pruitt is like Deon Thomas — god, you non-Illini fans must be LOVING these early-90s references — which is a bad sign, because guys like Deon Thomas, as good as they are, only succeed on bad teams. This Battle fellow for Penn State hits a three to give Penn State a 9-7 lead, and then Stanley Pringle — nice name, dope! — his another one, makes it 12-7..

18:30: Trent Meacham hits a 3-point to give the Illini a 5-2 lead. Meacham is a perfectly serviceable player, but when he's your main scoring option ... you're in trouble ... particularly when he's only starting because Eric Gordon ... oh, let's stop.

19:25: The Illini are wearing their orange jerseys. This used to be just for special occasions; it is a sad commentary on the Illini season that a first-round Big Ten tourney game against Penn State counts as a "special occasion." Randle with a lay-in to kick us off.

20:00: Brian Randle is starting. It's unbelievable that guy played on the Final Four team. No player has been more frustrating to Illini fans than Brian Randle. Can't blame Weber for that guy. He looks cooler when his head is shaved, too.

Still more pregame: Just to be rude, ESPN shows Bruce Weber giving his pregame speech. The man still talks like a duck. It's difficult to be inspired by a duck. We still don't think he should be fired.

Hey! Hi, Erin Andrews! She's wearing a mock turtleneck thing. It must be cold in the ole Canseco Fieldhouse.

More pregame: Sweet! It's Brent Musberger. He's the whippets of broadcasters!

Pregame: Before we start, we'd like to thank MJD over at Yahoo for this gem, a "poetry slam" from an Illini fan against Eric Gordon. Yes. We're all still bitter, unfairly so. We still don't disagree with a single word here:

Traitor, Eric Gordon
You are a disgrace
You chose another school
So I'll throw bricks at your face
I'm mad because we suck
But my anger is not misplaced
I'm going to cut off your head
Because we need something to fill our trophy case

Sure! Go Illini!

"Joe Paterno's on his death bed! And someone needs to find him a casket!" the unidentified yell leader screamed over a microphone, first to gasps and then thunderous boos from the Penn State fans.

Oops. Now everyone's in an uproar, and the cheerleader in question was sent home. I just saw the video, and honestly, the most offensive part was the long, unfunny story leading up to Paterno quote. What was that? Texas A&M, you have just been downgraded to a Community College.

Meanwhile, over at the PennLive message board, we have this: "On a side note, I'm just curious to how any of the PSU alumni and fans feel about the students at your school that dressed up as massacred VT students for Halloween." — AggieDoctor

Yell Leader: Find Paterno A Casket [The Wizard Of Odds]

Generally speaking, we enjoy a good harmless scrum among rival fans, but ... this would seem to cross the line considerably. How far past the line? A Michigan blog is appalled by this. And why wouldn't he be? Any normal human would be.

You Are Total Dicks [The M Zone]

Penn State has notified a Virginia elementary school that it must cease using its cougar logo, because it too closely resembles the Nittany Lion logo used by the university. After all, we can't have a rogue elementary school siphoning off Penn State revenue, now can we? The Collegiate Licensing Company generously allowed Conway to keep two floor mats with the image, and the school will not have to dig up a time capsule stamped with the now-restricted logo. Thank you for your kindness, Dean Wormer.

One has to wonder why Conway didn't grab this opportunity to teach its students a little something about the court of public opinion. Look the Nittany Lion in the eye and tell him to go screw; think Penn State would fight it? Think of the great publicity that would generate. Gloria Allred is already sharpening her talons.

Besides, look at the neck shading in the two logos. Totally different!

Conway Cougar Clawed [Fredricksburg.com]

As we finished up the second weekend of the college football season, we note that still almost no one on the planet has the Big Ten Network, and it doesn't look like there's much hope in sight for anyone who doesn't have DirectTV or The Dish Network. (We repeat: In the age of digital cable, there's no need to have to install a dish. These exclusive deals are the only reason these companies still exist.) Fortunately for anyone who didn't go to a Big Ten school, the Big Ten appears to be terrible this year. Michigan's troubles are well-documented, and even now-prohibitive favorite Wisconsin barely beat UNLV over the weekend. (But hey, how about that Leatherneck shutout!)

Anyway, the Big Ten Network, the one only we care about, is continuing to lobby, and now they're bringing in the big guns: They're bringing in Jared. Yes, the Subway spokesperson showed up at the Penn State game this weekend, as part of a Subway / Big Ten Network promotion. He wore a Penn State jersey the whole game, even though he went to Indiana. He was an even more popular celebrity in Happy Valley over the weekend than alum LaVar Arrington. We still think he could stand to lose a few.

Talkin' Fresh With Jared [Footblog]